In the midst of the night, a lonely Alicorn Princess stares sorrowfully towards the star-lit sky on the balcony, wondering what the future will hold in the nearly one thousand years since her sister's banishment. But as she ponders, a small unknown object comes spiraling down.
With little else to do, Celestia flies towards the landing site, only to discover a tiny little creature with a monkey tail, a saiyan, sleeping peacefully in a metallic pod. In her motherly instinct, alongside a desire to ease her loneliness, Celestia radically adopts this boy called Kiryu.
But, the thousand year mark is growing near, darkness begins to creep up from the shadows, enemies both domestic and foreign look wanting towards Equestria. This is the beginning of a new tale, a story about how a small kind boy becomes the greatest Defender of Equestria in history, along with the help of new friends and allies!
I don't know quite what to make of this yet, since there is not much here, but aside from basic grammar stuff, there is nothing wrong with this. Question; Is this a self insert fic?
1905368
No it's just that Kiryu is a name I've used for alot of things
1905525 K. I will be keeping an eye on this. Hope to see more soon.
1905531
Actually im just about to add another chapter
Hmm, Ill check this out later
Needs some work on grammar, also the story seems a little rushed. But besides those, it's good. Reminds me of Saiyan of Equestria, probably because of Kiryu being a kid and all. I shall await the next chapter.
P.S Your Story as now been added to the collection of DBZ stories on the group Equestrian Saiyans
1909790
Well await no further a new chapter has gotten out of the oven!
Yes the rushing is a problem I allways face while writting fics, and don't get me started on the grammar
But hey it's thanks to you I decided to mak this story!
-Kiryu
And so, Kiryu goes off into the world of Equestria, where he meets an old turtle and trains with another pony named Krill On, then they go to the Griffion Kingdom to participate in the Griffion Fighting Tournament, where he almost wins but is defeated by a turtle named Jack Fist. He then later goes on a three year training trip with Life, and then participates in the Next Tournament but loses to a Griffion named Tri Eyes. But then they become friends, but then a really bad green dragon named Pick On U escapes his prison and kills Krill On..
I could go on hehe. Anyhow, look forward to next chapter
1910424
Haha made my day
Yes the turtle and the tower are similar to dragon ball but I added my own little twist to the story
-Kiryu
BOOM. DRAGONBALL.
Go ahead. Break the law.
My son'll eat you.
Ultimate crime deterrent in an already docile society.
1916406
My sides hurt!
-Kiryu
Chapter 7 title... OCD must fix...
1929807
Oh sorry about that, thanks Twixie
1929833 Twixie is pleased to assist.
Man, with all of these chapters. You make me seem so lazy.
Then again, I am typing 5-6 stories, even if they're not all in FimFiction. And my chapters are longer.
Anyhow keep it up, work on grammar (basically same with almost every story), and that's one powerful wolf!
I make take that idea, through timberwolves are Ken and Kira's animal friends already.
1932973
Yeah I need a pre-reader urgently
Spelling was never my strong point
-Kiryu
i.qkme.me/3551oh.jpg i.qkme.me/35j0ev.jpg
1937874
Glad to see somebody got the reference
-Kiryu
Uh...don't you mean her hooves cause that way sounds painful.
1941122
Curse my way of writing...
No you see she picked it up and then placed it in her chest, like just holding it to her chest
-Kiryu
MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT!
Kiryu is lucky to have meat, Ken and Kira only get Fish! And that's only once every two weeks!
'Fish Fried day' they call it. Hehe, kids and their imaginations .
1949187
Oh boy just wait until Kiryu meets Fluttershy
-Kiryu
why do i have the felling that kiryu is kacarot
2059582
Oh no, Kiryu is not Goku in fact, my story is taking place around the ending of the saiyan saga in dbz, Goku is in earth, and Kiryu is in equestria
-Kiryu
2059852 meh it still was a good theory
2234974
I know... I just couldn't think of a good vegatable pun
-Kiryu
2059582
Kakarot... Kakarot! Kakarot! KAKAROT! KAKAROT!
lounge.moviecodec.com/images/attachment/kakarot-11309.jpg
2236646 Ca you tell me why this is on hiatus? It is a good story and I was kid of curious why I have to wait.
2656947
Well you see, my computer is a piece of *yay*
So, I tried to fix it...
It got worse
So I couldn't continue without a good computer (I'm on my ps3)
But don't worry, expect atleast two chapters when I get a good computer, just cause I haven't uploaded anything doesn't mean I haven't written anything
Oh, and glad you enjoyed my little fic
2657258 Thanks for the info. Im waiting for that new computer to gt to you now...
I saw the team four star reference where in his dream vegeta says first immortality then the bitches
2889402
Hehe, couldn't help but put at least one tfs reference in this
And thanks for faving my little story, don't worry, DoE will return soon
-Kiryu
Meanwhile in a nieghboring universe...
A small, eight year old, half saiyan half human girl named Kira, walked alongside her twin brother Ken and pony friends the CMC.
Suddenly the little girl went a bit angry, before scratching her head in confusion. "That's wried..."
"What is it sis?" Ken questioned.
"I don't know, I think I got jeolous of somepony, don't know who through." Kira said.
"I'm sure it's nothing Kira!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
"Alright, now let's play some tag!" Ken said, suddening tagging Kira. "Your it nee-chan!"
"No fair!"
he ate all of them.
Ha!
holy crap vegeta!
1937895
a lot of people got the reference
2889660
when are you going to make chapters?
2976223
Kiryu had finished putting on his pajama's and was about to go to bed.
When his face suddenly grew hot and a blush formed.
Kiryu grabbed the side of his face and looked at the star sky.
"Weird, I strangely feel scared..."
Kiryu then smiled
"But it also makes me all funny, hehe"
Chuckling, Kiryu went to bed, another day ahead of him.
Frieza Planet four one nine, Some say his spirit haunts Vegeta to this day, but she thought it was all stupid rumors., Jeice was pretty funny, especially with his funny accent,
But no one ever goes to Frieza planet four one nine!!! These are some of the many references to Team four star I've seen. If there are more there I haven't noticed them.
3686660
Hehe, yep, this universe is a mix of the original dbz and the tfs dbz, mostly cause the tfs dbz brings alot of comic relief moments to the story
Is it me, or did the character "Rin" come out of nowhere, with so far no relation to the main plot within whatsoever except for pure comedic relief?
Mh, if Rin does come to Equestria and sees Kiryu, she better watch out! Kira is very possessive...
3810073
Rin will have her back story explained, when the time is right
also...
I'm pooping bricks, I can make a house with them!
Thank you for the fave!!!!!!!
Kiryu got to the pantry to eat some Frost Tarts, only to discover that they were all gone.
"Who took the Frost Tarts!?'
Kiryu turned, to find a little saiyan human hybrid girl, of eight years, munching on packages of Frost Tarts.
This little girl was Kira, "Hi Kiryu-kun!"
"You took the Frost Tarts!"
"But they're sooo good!" Kira whined.
Kiryu sighed, "That's fine, can I have some?"
"Sure! Here you go Kiryu-kun!" Kira tossed a pakage which Kiryu caught in his hands, opened, and started eating. He proceeded to sit down next to the little girl and eat along with her.
3811450
You think Kiryu would ask how she got here...
but Kiryu just goes "Oh well"
We missed you too.
"I wanna be there!" Kira pouts.
Sorry Kira, but there no TARDIS to do that.
"B-but but, Kiryu-kun!"
But nothing, now go back to SoE!
"Awwww"
3850082
"Come on..."
No
"Please..."
No
"Dragon ball wish side arc?"
...
Damn it that's good, maybe... I don't know
"It's not a no!"
Sigh...
The word "saiyan" has been butchered!
"I don't see how that's a big problem.. " A little girl, Kira, said.
You wouldn't understand, your only in third grade.
"I know lots of things, like how I want to beat up those bat lizards too!"
Isn't it Ken that wants to fight the most?
"Kiryu-kun boyzilla! Kiryu-kun!"
*sigh*