Chapter of d'awwis majoris. Nicely written, I like the way you set up the mood, the awkwardness, and how Spitfire dozed off before she actually said anything too important. And now... Will he or won't he get some... sickness? That would have been fun, she gets better and he comes down with something nasty that she would help him with at his own place
Pretty good chapter I have to say. Nice to see that after six months, as opposed to the next day/week, that the character gets warmed up to his surrounding and as well as others to him like Thunderlane and Surprise. Also charming as to how the character would go out of his way to be great friend to Spitfire without any hidden agendas and not take advantage over the situation, funny to as to how he views Spitfire as his best bud and nothing more at the moment. Sad to see that Soarin' continues to act like a jerk to the character, but what is a good romance without conflicts and obstacles right? I haven't notice any errors in the story so a plus on that my man.
Overall, pretty good chapter, I can't wait to see more. Keep up the good work man.
I'm glad to see that the narreration of you being 'my' brain has been explained more clearly. An excelent and possibly comidic goldmine if used right. Also, kick ass chapter. Keep it up.
I had a vision halfway through this of Rainbow and the other Wonderbolts sitting above them with a hole in the roof making bets if they kiss or not.
Soarin is totally jelly
Seems legit.
Chapter of d'awwis majoris.
Nicely written, I like the way you set up the mood, the awkwardness, and how Spitfire dozed off before she actually said anything too important.
And now... Will he or won't he get some... sickness?
That would have been fun, she gets better and he comes down with something nasty that she would help him with at his own place
This is awesome!
Begin Monty Python and the Holy Grail perfect fitting movie quote:
End quote. Good chapter. So much DAAW.
Pretty good chapter I have to say. Nice to see that after six months, as opposed to the next day/week, that the character gets warmed up to his surrounding and as well as others to him like Thunderlane and Surprise. Also charming as to how the character would go out of his way to be great friend to Spitfire without any hidden agendas and not take advantage over the situation, funny to as to how he views Spitfire as his best bud and nothing more at the moment. Sad to see that Soarin' continues to act like a jerk to the character, but what is a good romance without conflicts and obstacles right? I haven't notice any errors in the story so a plus on that my man.
Overall, pretty good chapter, I can't wait to see more. Keep up the good work man.
Best regards,
Me: Soarin , why are you jeallous?
Soarin: I'm Not jeallous!
Me: Dude, if you were any other creature, you'd be a jellyfish
1912741 Jellyfish! HA!
I'm glad to see that the narreration of you being 'my' brain has been explained more clearly. An excelent and possibly comidic goldmine if used right. Also, kick ass chapter. Keep it up.
D'AWWWW
Love this story
Manlytears.jpeg
I love the internal thoughts on this story, but Goddammit, I didn't want to imagine that