The Little Ponies: Friends and Magic and Stuff
A/N: Just want to quickly say I mean no offense to fanfic authors, or anyone at all really. I love fanfic, or else I wouldn't be here.
Ponyville basked in Celestia’s midday sun. The clouds parted just above a certain café in Ponyville, where six ponies were sat around a large table enjoying their lunch. The group seemed distant, each of them staring off into nowhere, rather than into the eyes of the purple unicorn who seemed intent on sharing her story.
“Did you girls see the paper this morning? There’s a new thing called ‘The Internet’ that’s going to be released in the next few days. It’s supposed to rival the papers, so of course the journalists didn’t exactly praise it in their articles. But I personally think it sounds amazing; just imagine-“
“Uh, Twilight dear. What’s an ‘Internet’?” Rarity spoke up to the relief of the group, each and every one of them not having a clue what she was rambling on about.
“Oh it’s not a thing. Well… I suppose it is. It’s more like a place, it lives inside a computer.”
“You mean that fancy shmancy thing you got yourself last week?” Applejack raised an eyebrow. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around how fast the world of technology had moved in the past few weeks.
“Yes, that. It’s been a bit disappointing actually. All it seems to do is word processing.” Twilight shrugged. “But now with ‘The Internet’ I should be able to do all sorts of things.”
“Oooh, like what?” Pinkie was fascinated by the prospect of being able to do ‘all sorts of things’.
“Like read. It’s going to be a second library. I can’t wait!”
“A library… within a library? That’s weird Twi’.” Pinkie pondered the thought for a moment.
“Ugh. Does it do anything else?” Rainbow had grown bored of the conversation. If it was simply a glorified book, then she had no interest in it.
“Oh… I don’t know really. I think I read something about being able to send messages to your friends.”
“But we can do that anyway.” Pinkie was clearly puzzled by the entire concept of ‘The Internet’, as were the remaining four, none of them quite seeing the benefit of such a place. They were each trying to piece the thoughts of said place together in their heads. They tried to imagine what it would look like, how it would work, and what purpose it would really serve. Rainbow decided to break the silence.
“Well, I… uh… learnt a new stunt. I call it the ‘Awesome Aerial One-Eighty Nose Dive’.”
“That there is just as confusing as this ‘Internet’ thing.” Applejack pointed out.
“Oh, I understand that you may not be able to wrap your head around something so awesome. I can demonstrate it if you like-“ Rainbow flapped her wings and rose from her seat.
“Please, Rainbow. We’re eating lunch, do you have no manners?” Rarity scoffed, before taking a dainty bite of her sandwich.
“Watch this.” Rainbow shot up into the skies, and just when everypony thought she wasn’t coming back, rolled her body backwards into a multitude of spins before speeding down to the ground again. As she touched down, she flicked her wings once before pushing them against her sides and returned to her seat.
“Yay.” Fluttershy spoke up to act as a cheering section for Rainbow, as it seemed no pony else would.
“That was mighty impressive, but the name still don’t make sense.” Applejack started. “You didn’t do a one-eighty at all, that was more like a… a…”
“…A ten-eighty?” Twilight suggested.
“Who cares about the name! It was awesome right?” Rainbow awaited an answer, before Pinkie chided in.
“I think I get it! ‘The Internet’ can help me send out party invitations! It can probably help me make cupcakes too! That sounds great!” They each looked over to Pinkie, who had clearly still been thinking about their previous conversation this entire time. Upon realising the subject was lost upon all of them, they continued pretending Pinkie hadn’t spoken.
“It was um… awesome, Rainbow, but you could make it more graceful. You were going so fast I could barely tell what was going on.”
“And what would you know Rarity? Don’t you remember the Young Fliers Competition at all? Because I seem to remember-“ Rainbow stopped mid-sentence, as the voice of a stallion interrupted the oncoming argument.
“BRILLIANT! Just… brilliant!” They turned to see an earth pony a few metres away who was quickly advancing towards them. He had a plain black coat with a rich blue mane trailing down his neck. Upon his head were a set of blackened shades which he removed to reveal eyes that matched his mane in both colour and depth. The most noticeable trait about this stallion however, was the pure excitement etched across every contour of his face.
The six mares were initially shocked by the sudden appearance of the stallion, but it didn’t take Rainbow Dash long to pipe up.
“You see Rarity! He likes my stunts. This pony knows what he’s talking about.” Rarity simply rolled her eyes.
“Oh no, I’m not talking about your tricks.” Rainbow’s face dropped. “I’m talking about all of you!”
“As in… the six of us?” Twilight tried to confirm.
“Yes! You six! You’re all perfect!” At this, the mares all exchanged nervous glances between themselves, not sure what to think. The stallion seemed to noticed their apprehension however.
“Let me introduce myself. My name is Sir Film Reel.” He announced, putting particular emphasis on rolling his ‘r’s. “I am a producer and director for Canterlot Studios.”
“You make plays?” Pinkie tilted her head to the side in confusion.
“Canterlot Studios used to work in theatre. But no, I am talking about film, more specifically, television.”
“But television has only existed for three weeks.” Twilight scanned the stallion quizzically, immediately looking to his cutie mark to decipher what exactly his special talent could be. What she saw appeared to be a perfectly round hoop; she had no idea what it was supposed to symbolise.
“Ah, admiring my cutie mark are we? That there is a video camera lens, brilliant isn’t it?”
“But television has only existed for three weeks.” Twilight repeated.
“W-well yes. Let’s move on shall we?” He nervously looked about before continuing with his previous excitement “You six are going to be my next stars! I was watching that little scene back there. You all have quite unique personalities. It is exactly what television needs!”
“You were watching us?” Applejack was less than impressed by this revelation.
“It was hard not to. It was like a fantastically written comedy sketch playing out before my eyes! Of course, it could use a little work, but that‘s what I’m here for, right?” He nodded to himself, “Right. The best part is that you can all play as yourself. I don’t even need to write up the characters!”
“Are you saying you want us in your television… thing?” asked Rarity, unsure of the terminology of such new technology.
“My television program. Yes, that is exactly what I’m proposing.”
“And I suppose this will pay well?” Rarity drawled on.
“Oh yes. Very well, in fact.” Rarity’s eyes appeared to twinkle at this. Film Reel continued admiring the six mares however. “Such raw talent. All of you. We have the jock, the nerd, the lady, the down-to-earth mare, the clown and the mute.” He looked from Rainbow, to Twilight, to Rarity, to Applejack, to Pinkie and finally to Fluttershy, respectively giving each of them their title.
“I- I’m not a mute, sir.” Fluttershy spoke up timidly, trying to get across the point that she could speak just fine.
“I know that. In fact, I’m taking a particular liking to you. The way you said ‘yay’ earlier was so… graceful. The viewers will love that.” Overcome by another idea, he gasped “It can be your catchphrase!”
“I can’t- well I’m not- I don’t want to be famous.” Fluttershy concluded, remembering how unhappy she was with her last run in with fame.
“Let’s not be brash Fluttershy. You’ll be with your friends this time, it’ll be different.” Rarity tried to help her see reason.
“So that’s a yes then?” Film Reel whipped a contract from his saddle-bags. “Just sign here.”
“Woah, hold up just a minute. You haven’t really given us much to go by.” Applejack stared him down.
“Yeah, what kind of program will this be anyway?” Added Rainbow.
“A TV Sitcom. It wouldn’t work as anything else.”
“A what?”
“A situation comedy.”
“Comedy? That’s perfect! Will we get to tell jokes the entire time?” Pinkie jumped excitably on spot.
“You will indeed!”
“And the situation part?” Twilight added.
“Oh, that just means there’ll be an over-arching story each episode. I couldn’t exactly make you shine if you didn’t get to show your true personalities, now could I? I want this to be funny, yet wonderfully endearing at the same time.” The six mares looked to each other; trying to reach a conclusion simply with eye contact.
“So you’ll sign?” He pushed the contract forward once more.
“Why do you have a contract with you anyway? More to the point, why are you in Ponyville? Have you been stalking us?” Applejack pressed.
“I was looking for talent of course. I had to bring a contract just in case I found some. And I did.” Film Reel eyed the mares with delight. Rarity couldn’t take the excitement of the situation any longer, and approached the outstretched contract.
“Well I for one cannot turn down such an opportunity. May I have a quill, sir?” Film Reel pulled a quill from his bags and handed it to Rarity, who levitated it and promptly signed her name.
“The Wonderbolts probably have television sets. This could be my chance…” Rainbow snatched the quill and proceeded to sign.
“This is gonna be fun!” Squealed Pinkie, who also made her mark on the contract. Twilight followed, not really having strong opinions on the matter.
“Ah ponyfeathers. Fine. I suppose the farm could do with some extra money…” Applejack signed too. All eyes bore into Fluttershy, who cowered slightly below everypony else. Eventually giving into peer pressure, she signed the contract sealing the deal.
“Excellent! Brilliant! You won’t regret this, trust me. This is the opportunity of a life time! You will make me so rich- uh- I mean proud. You’ll make me so proud.” Applejack narrowed her eyes, regretting the fact she so easily gave in. It also occurred to her she forgot to actually read the contract, so she had no idea what she was really signing herself up to.
“So what’s next?” Twilight pushed on.
“Straight to the point! I like that. Next you shall meet me at the studio. I will prepare for a carriage to pick you up in the morning to take you to Canterlot.”
“Tomorrow?” Twilight re-enforced, alarmed at the fast pace of the deal.
“That’s right. I must be going now though. Places to go, ponies to see. I’ll see you stars tomorrow.” And with that, Film Reel left the six mares standing looking perplexed by the entire situation.
“Did that… really just happen?”
“Ah think so Twilight. Ah can’t help but think we’ve been played.” Applejack mused, “He just seemed like a con pony to me.”
“You may be right. For a start, he didn’t mention where we should take the carriage from. And he did seem to be in an awful hurry…”
“The whole of Equestria is moving in a hurry these days, dear.” Rarity noted. “Also, I suppose the most likely place to take a carriage would be the town square.”
They all agreed to meet in the morning at the square, unsure of how early they needed to be, but agreed none-the-less, in order to give the stallion the benefit of the doubt. After all, if he were genuine, this television program could revolutionise their lives. Each pony parted ways after lunch and went about their daily routine, each anticipating what wait for them in the morning.
To the six mare’s relief, and to Applejack’s surprise, the carriage did indeed turn up at Ponyville square the following morning. It wasn’t long before they found themselves within Canterlot, standing outside the front doors of the studio. They had no idea where they were to meet the strange stallion from yesterday, but their musings didn’t stray far, as the stallion in question sauntered up within minutes.
“You’re all here! I was worried you wouldn’t show up.” Film Reel announced his presence.
“And why would that be?” Applejack was still sceptical of the strange stallion.
“This is a big step for six small town ponies such as yourselves! But I shouldn’t have doubted you, after all, we all want a slice of the pie.”
“I definitely want a slice of the pie! Where is it? Can I have some?” Pinkie hopped around, looking for said pie.
“In due time.” He chuckled, “But now, we must stop dilly-dallying and get started with our production.” He walked through the large double doors into the studio, and motioned the six ponies to follow his lead.
“Already? Don’t you need to do some paperwork first? You only met us yesterday; surely the show hasn’t been approved yet.” Twilight was drawing off of Applejack’s scepticism.
“It’s all done! This is a very fast moving industry, you’ll soon learn that.”
“So you’ve written the scripts?”
“Yes. It’s all done.” He nodded, quite proudly.
“But-“ Twilight considered what the stallion mentioned yesterday “You said we’d be playing as ourselves. You don’t know us!”
“I know enough. For example, you, Twilight Sparkle; you love to read. Rainbow Dash here wants to join the Wonderbolts. Pinkie Pie loves sweet things, and Applejack lives on a farm. Rarity loves herself and Fluttershy is… well, she’s shy.” Film Reel looked satisfied by his summary of the six ponies.
“That… that doesn’t summarise us at all!” Rarity spoke up, offended by the stallion’s harsh judgement.
“It kinda does” Rainbow pointed out, and then wished her character wasn’t so one dimensional. “Although you could add a few things to the list; Applejack likes apples, I bet you’d have never guessed that.” She snickered at her own joke.
“Quiet you! Now Mr. Film Reel, ah want to know how you know all these things about us. It’s a little creepy.”
“That’s Sir Film Reel.” He cleared his throat, “Isn’t it obvious? You let me know all those things in our little meeting yesterday.”
“Those traits make us seem very mono-dimensional.” observed Twilight.
“You aren’t?” He looked at them each quizzically.
“Well I love parties! And sweets, but parties too!” announced Pinkie Pie.
“Uh, yes.” He shuffled his feet around, feeling that had proved his point nicely.
“And I’ll have you know that I do not love myself!” Rarity put her foot down, both metaphorically and physically speaking, “I love myself just as much as any pony loves themselves. I also love dress-making. I am an artist.”
“I like animals.” whispered Fluttershy.
“And I’m good with magic.” Twilight mentioned, trying not to sound too boastful.
“Yeah! And I… I’m… ah’m mighty honest!” added Applejack, also trying to flesh out her character. Film Reel raised an eyebrow and looked over the six mares and their efforts of redemption.
“What about you then?” He motioned to Rainbow.
“Um, you pretty much got me down to a tee” she shrugged.
“Right...” He perked up slightly, “Well you all seem to be much more fleshed out as characters than I first anticipated. The good thing is that you can all improvise your scripts slightly and allow your true personalities through.”
“And another thing, Sir Film Reel-” Applejack bore into him, “How do you know our names? We didn’t tell you them!”
“You signed them on the contract.” Film Reel was taken aback by the stupid question.
“…Right.” Applejack sighed, before resigning herself from the conflict.
“Anyway, we’re here. This is the set.” The six mares looked around them, realising that they had indeed been led onto the set. What lay before them was far from what they expected; there was a kitchen-living room area with two couches and a television set. There was no kitchen table. It was very simplistic.
“What is this?” Rarity deadpanned.
“This is your apartment!”
“Apartment?” Rarity repeated, making sure she had heard correctly, “Who’s apartment? I can’t have this, where would I put my inspiration room?”
“This is the apartment you will be sharing.”
“Sh-sharing?”
“It’s only for television, you won’t really be living here.” Film Reel tried to humour her, but it seemed to go amiss.
“If you want me to play as myself, then this simply won’t do!”
“It has to. It says here in the rules; ‘Every friendship based Sitcom must take place in an apartment’. Think about it – ‘Furiends’, ‘How I met your Mare’, ‘The Big Buck Theory’, it’s just how it is.” He looked incredibly serious, but Twilight couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Television had only existed for three weeks, and he was already referencing other shows? She recalled the stallion’s statement earlier about it being a fast moving industry, and expecting a very similar answer, decided not to bring up that nagging issue.
“What’s the name of our show?” asked Rainbow.
“I am calling it ‘The Little Ponies: Friends and Magic and Stuff’.”
“That’s a bit of a mouthful. Why can’t anyone name anything seriously anymore?” Applejack pondered, remembering Rainbow’s drawn out stunt name. Film Reel seemed eager to get moving.
“Here are your scripts. Shall we get started?”
They each decided to put aside their conflicts on the situation, and simply get on with filming. They found it to be a tiring process, with the majority of the day spent standing around waiting for orders. It was laborious, and the whole while they wondered how such a stagnant schedule could be a part of the apparently fast moving industry.
“That’s it, the final scene!” Film Reel looked pleased with their progress.
“Final scene of the episode?” Rarity was relieved.
“No, no, final scene of the season of course!” Twilight was stunned.
“H-how? That isn’t possible! We didn’t shoot nearly enough scenes! Did… we?”
“You are a funny lot.” He chuckled, “That was a long shoot. We all deserve a nice long rest after that.”
“This isn’t possible!” Twilight looked on the verge of a breakdown. She was at the point she’d accept a rip in the space-time continuum as an explanation, but no such explanation arrived. She would just have to accept this.
“I trust you will all be back next week to discuss the possibilities of a second season?”
“Uh… we’ll see.” replied a bewildered Applejack.
“I suppose that’s the best I can ask of you.” He seemed satisfied, “Uh, one more thing though. Under no circumstances do you look at fan material. No fan fiction, no fan art, nothing. Understood?” He stared at them seriously, but none of them quite appreciated the gravity of the situation. They didn’t know what these ‘fan materials’ were, and they’d be lying if they said it didn’t peak their interest, even slightly.
“Got it. No fan whatsa-ma-thingys.” replied Applejack.
Six days had passed since the film shoot, and the six mares found themselves mulling away the hours in Twilight’s library. Since their show had gone on air they’d found difficulty in keeping out of the public eye. It was everything Fluttershy had once feared all brought back, only this time all six of them shared the same fate. The fame had even taken its toll on Rarity and Rainbow, although they wouldn’t admit it.
“Ah‘m not a fan of this fame stuff.” Applejack sighed, “Ah just want to buck my apples in peace.”
“Well, I don’t like to say I told you so…” Fluttershy began, “So I won’t. But I really do wish you girls would have listened to me.”
“We’re sorry Fluttershy.” Twilight apologised dejectedly. Rainbow noticed the gloomy air that lingered within the library.
“I’ve been thinking…” She started, “You remember those ‘fan materials’?”
“Mhmm, we were told not to look at them.” Applejack recalled.
“Right, but let’s say we were to. No one would know.”
“But Dashie, we don’t even know what they are.” Pinkie pointed out, and her point held some substance.
“Maybe not exactly. But we have a decent idea right? Fan fiction, fan art; that’s going to be stuff our fans have made about us.”
“But where is it?” Rarity pondered, sitting up from the sofa.
“I don’t really know.” Rainbow admitted.
“Actually, I think I might.” Twilight walked over to her computer, “I think they’re on the Internet.”
“Here we go!” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “Not this ‘Internet’ stuff again.”
“Hear me out! Do you remember how I said this was a second library? This is fan fiction. It’s going to be on here.”
“You’re sure?” pressed Rarity.
“I think so.” Twilight stated simply. The six of them shared a glance. They were tempted.
“We shouldn’t. We were told not to…” Fluttershy tried to reason with them.
“Ah dunno. This could cheer us up.” Applejack began.
“Yeah, I bet there’ll be loads of stories about me flying with the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow added.
“I must say, it would be interesting to read a book about myself.” Twilight concluded.
“Let’s do this!” Pinkie bounced over to the computer to join Twilight, the others not falling too far behind her. Fluttershy mumbled something incoherent, which all five of them ignored.
“Okay. Google.” Twilight spoke sub-consciously, opening up the Internet.
“What did you say?” Applejack glanced sideways to Twilight.
“N-never mind.” Twilight decided against an explanation knowing it would only be told upon deaf ears. She proceeded to enter the search term ‘The Little Ponies: Friends and Magic and Stuff fan fiction’ into the search bar. The top result was a website dedicated to fan fiction for the show. She opened the webpage, whilst again wondering just how it was possible for such a site to exist in such a small time frame. She knew better than to ask however.
“Here we go; an archive full of the stuff.” Twilight was astounded by the sheer amount of it. “This is amazing.”
“Where do we start?” Pinkie asked.
“It looks like we can search by genre. Let’s see.” Twilight scrolled down the list, all of them looking at the options before them.
“Oh! Romance! I bet there’ll be ones about me finding my perfect stallion-“ Rarity’s eyes began to glaze over, “-and how charming he will be. I’ll make suits and outfits galore for him, oh, I’ll design our wedding ensembles, and-“
“Alright! Romance it is.” Twilight quickly input the search, if only to keep Rarity quiet. The first fan fiction on the list made Twilight double-take.
“What’s it found?” Rarity was brimming with excitement, not quite being able to read the small font from where she was.
“I… don’t know.” Twilight read the description aloud, “’Twilight Sparkle is stressed from the amount of studying she has to catch up on, but one mare is intent on helping her relax. Rarity is eager to relieve her tension in more ways than one.’”
“Bahahahaha!” Rainbow snorted with laughter. “I guess you found your stallion Rarity.”
“This can’t be right. Maybe it doesn’t mean what we think it does?” Rarity looked hopeful. Applejack tried to dampen her snickering, but she couldn’t hold it in.
“M-maybe not.” Twilight honestly suspected otherwise, “Let’s just skip this one.”
“Agreed.” Rarity nodded. “What’s next?”
“’Rainbow Dash and Applejack have been happily married for two years-‘“ Both mentioned ponies stopped sniggering instantly, “-but somepony is intent on destroying their relationship. Will they be successful?” Twilight couldn’t help but laugh as she turned to see the two pony’s horrified faces.
“It looks like you got your stallion too, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity giggled.
“Alright, very funny. Can we move on?” Applejack pleaded.
“’Fluttershy finds love in an unexpected place as her childhood friend Rainbow Dash-‘” Twilight stopped reading and merely blinked in bemusement.
“Oh- my…” Fluttershy spoke softly.
“Are they all like this?” Pinkie asked innocently. Twilight scrolled down the list.
“Hmm… Rainbow and Pinkie… Applejack and Rainbow… Twilight and Rainbow Dash… Rarity and Fluttershy… Pinkie Pie and Dash… Most of them seem to be about you, Rainbow.”
“Is there something you want to tell us, maybe?” Applejack looked over to Rainbow, to see she was blushing furiously.
“H-hey! I didn’t write them! And you’re all in them too!” Rainbow retorted.
“I didn’t know you were like that Dashie.”
“I-I’m not!”
“Are there none about me finding the stallion of dreams?” Rarity pulled the conversation away from Rainbow’s embarrassment, much to her relief.
“Unless Rainbow’s your stallion, then no.” Twilight stated, causing Rainbow to slink down into shame once more. Pinkie shuffled herself nearer to the screen, so she could read the list for herself. What she found greatly amused her.
“Look at the names they give the pairings! AppleDash, RariShy, TwiDash.” Pinkie giggled loudly at the next one, “ApplePie! That’s an Applejack and Pinkie pairing!”
“Ah’ll never see apple pie the same way again…” Applejack voiced dejectedly.
“I think we should give fan fiction a miss.” Fluttershy suggested.
“Not just yet Fluttershy. This is just the Romance section, the rest won’t be so bad.” Twilight perked up, “What should we look at next?”
“Comedy!” Everyone turned to Pinkie Pie, and agreed they’d be much more likely to find an enjoyable fan fiction in that category. What they found instead were fan fictions laden with references that none of them understood, and an over-abundance of Fluttershy’s famous catchphrase (‘Yay’).
“Ah don’t get it.” Applejack scratched her head, trying to understand why a flying cat with a Pop-Tart for a body was considered funny. Twilight continued with the story until she reached a part that made Rarity uncomfortable.
“I’m not a marshmallow, that’s ridiculous.” Disgust dripped from every word.
“I think it might be because you’re white.” Twilight pointed out, but noticing Rarity’s confusion she added, “I don’t understand it either.”
“Well I don’t know about all of you, but I don’t find our fans very funny!” Pinkie stated, “Next category!”
“Any requests?” Twilight scrolled through the list once more, noticing the Tragedy, Sad and Dark tags. She thought it best they stay away from them.
“How about Adventure?” Rainbow suggested, having recovered somewhat from the horrors of the Romance genre. Unfortunately all they found in said categories were stories reaching eighty thousand words and over. They decided against reading any of them for this reason alone, even if the premise seemed decent.
“It doesn’t look like there’s any nice stories about us.” Pinkie frowned.
“Why don’t we search by most popular instead?” Twilight grasped at one last hope of finding something enjoyable. “Alright, most popular fan fiction is called ‘Cupcakes’… ‘Rainbow Dash helps Pinkie Pie make some cupcakes’.”
“That sounds fine.” Applejack responded, “You must make some good cupcakes for this to be the most popular fan fiction.”
“I like the sound of this one! Let’s read it!” Pinkie agreed.
“I don’t know… it’s labelled ‘dark’.” Twilight felt apprehensive; almost scared to click the link, “Maybe we shouldn’t.”
“I agree with Twilight.” Fluttershy added.
“Oh, how bad can it be.” Rainbow stepped forward to read the description for herself, “It seems innocent enough.” Twilight shrugged off her doubts and began to read it aloud. She had only read two paragraphs before things began to take a turn for the worse.
“’Now’ Pinkie informed, ‘You take a nap.’” Twilight paused momentarily, “Upon hearing that, Dash felt lightheaded. Her world spun, and seconds later, she dropped to the floor.”
“I don’t think I like where this is going.” Rainbow interrupted.
“Scared?” mocked Applejack.
“Me? Scared? Of course not! Keep going Twilight.”
“A-are you sure? I don’t know if I want to.”
“Please don’t.” Fluttershy begged.
“Come on, I want to know what happens now.” Rainbow pressured, though secretly she was terrified by the unknown. Twilight continued for a while, struggling to read the story. She could hear Pinkie whispering behind her ‘Please be a prank, please be a prank’. Twilight reached the point where she felt she could no longer read on.
“’She picked up a scalpel and walked over to Dash’s flank-‘“ Twilight stopped and walked back from the computer, “That’s it. I’m not reading anymore. I don’t want to know.” With one quick look around the room she saw five ill looking ponies, each of whom looked as though they would lose their lunch at any moment. Rainbow Dash looked stunned, Pinkie looked on the verge of tears, but Fluttershy looked the worst as she cowered in the corner of the room.
“I-I told you we sh-shouldn’t of read fan fiction.” Fluttershy started, “I told you so.”
“Yes. Why don’t we listen to Fluttershy more often?” Rarity mumbled. Rainbow however wasn’t satisfied leaving the story half way through and approached the computer screen to continue.
“Uh, what are you doing?” Applejack queried.
“I had better get out of this one.” Rainbow scrolled down the page skim reading the document. Her face contorted into a face of utter despair as she read each horrific act. The room remained silent as Rainbow quietly read the fan fiction in her head. As she finished she slumped down, feeling broken.
“Not a happy ending?” Twilight struggled the words out in order to break the silence.
“Dashie! I would never do anything like that!” Pinkie ran to hug her friend, “You know that right?”
“I know.” Rainbow replied, returning the hug, “I think we should stop reading fan fiction now.” The remaining five agreed and promptly closed the website.
“What about fan art? That can’t be so bad, can it?” Applejack asked.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past our… fans.” Rarity simply stated.
“Please! Please don’t!” Fluttershy begged, “We don’t need to! Please!” Everypony turned to Fluttershy and nodded. It wasn’t worth the risk.
“If there’s anything I’ve learnt from all this, it’s that our fans hate us.” Twilight observed.
The following day was their scheduled meeting with Film Reel. The six mares had collectively agreed that they wouldn’t sign up for a second season. If the fame wasn’t bad enough, the fan fiction was. They met with Film Reel in his office; his face contorted into its usual excited grin.
“Ah! You’ve made it, good.” He reached into the desk drawer to pull out the contract, “You know the drill, just sign here.”
“Thanks, but no thanks.” Applejack retorted.
“What? What’s happened?” He inquired, his grin beginning to fade.
“Nothin’ really. We just don’t want any more to do with this television thing.” Film Reel looked over the mares, recognising that the honest Applejack had just lied. He noticed how tired they appeared; they had bags beneath their eyes and slightly ruffled manes. He had a feeling he knew what might be wrong.
“You went on the internet, didn’t you?” He covered his face with a hoof in disappointment, “I did ask you not to!”
“Well, yes.” Twilight opened up. Film Reel became noticeably agitated.
“No! Please, you need to sign the contract! Please, my livelihood depends on it!” He begged.
“You’ll find somepony else. You can start anew.” Rarity suggested, feeling a little guilty for the directors apparent breakdown.
“You don’t understand! The studio will shut down if we don’t have our best-selling show renewed. I’ll be made redundant! I’ll be a nopony again!”
“Again?” inquired Twilight.
“I… Well… Oh, I suppose you can know. My pride is all you have left to take!” He bawled dramatically, “My cutie mark isn’t a camera lens. It has nothing to do with film or television.”
“What is it?” Twilight was genuinely interested; she looked at the stallion’s flank to once more observe the strange circular mark.
“It’s… oh, it’s a roll of cling film, okay? It’s cling film! My special talent is wrapping things in cling film.” Film Reel sobbed, and the mares couldn’t help but notice the double entendre in the stallion’s name also.
“We’re sorry Mr.- ah mean, Sir. Film Reel, to have let you down like this. But ah don’t think any of us can face this life. It’s not for us.” Applejack concluded.
The six mares eventually left Film Reel, all feeling a little guilty for letting him down. It was however, better than the alternative of having to film another season. Fortunately for the six mares, the fame that came with their television series was short lived, and moved on just as quickly as the industry itself. After Canterlot Studios closed, many other studios followed suit. Many ponies began to abandon their televisions and computers completely, instead settling for the simple life they lived before hand. Twilight was one of the first to abandon her computer, insisting it had no place in Ponyville Library. By all intents and purposes, the past month may as well have never happened, and not many ponies looked back amiably to their lives with their advanced technology. It was merely forgotten.
Unfortunately, for Twilight and her friends, one event from that time period could never be truly forgotten. The day they were exposed to fan fiction would always linger within their sub-conscious.
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You had to have them read Cupcakes, didn't you......You have totally ruined Pinkie's and Dash's dreams for the rest of their lives, scared Fluttershy senseless, and saddened Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity. That I dislike. However, besides that I thought the story was quite funny, so overall, not bad. If you hadn't thrown in Cupcakes I would have been perfectly fine with it, sorry.
Pretty good, though it seems a might bit rushed.
I would've been happy if they'd found one good, actually made by a fan not troll fiction, like My Little Dashie.
You know..I expected Rainbow to Jump Pinkie after they saw Cupcakes.
welcome to the bony world gals
Thank Celestia they didn't find Rule 34.
Oh Celestia why,,,,
Cupcakes. Not even once.
Other than that i loled a lot
Very good job.
Oh goodness, it starts with talking about the sun.
This is amazing. 5/5.
The Big Buck Theory? Furfriends?
Tracked, watched, favorited and stored in my soul forever.
I don't know. I personally think they dodged a bullet. Think about all the SpikexTwilight and Big MacxApplejack fics there are, let alone fairly graphic clop fics with the CMC.
I think that would've been worse
Just think, what if they read Princess Molestia?
Dear god...
“Well I don’t know about all of you, but I don’t find our fans very funny!”
... You were laughing for, like, TEN MINUTES STRAIGHT when you found out you'd been GREY.
Lucky. They didn't find Tumblr, or R34, or Sweet Apple Massacre... You know, for a fandom based around ponies, we sure are a twisted lot.
I have to hate this for Cupcakes, but love it for hilariousness.
136159
Agreed, the amount of horrifying things that you can find on the internet make it all the more of a reason for me
to be ashamed for being born a human.
Its no wonder really why we haven't found any aliens yet.
If said aliens looked at us and our planet from afar,
They would most likely think; "Fuck that! I'm not going THERE!"
i like how you threw in a 'yo dawg' before they even got on the internet. unless that was unintentional.. in which case, awesome stuff
i also enjoyed how rarity is a marshmallow 'because shes white.' hahaha its reverse racism!
interestingly enough, i dont think cupcakes is even on this site. (im assuming its this site, the tags all match). rainbow factory and cheerilee's garden are, tho.
great story, dude. you should take a few stars. they're getting too rowdy for me.
...lol
id love to see rainbow dashes reaction to reainbow factory
that was a good story you sir obtained a shiny new fav
135885 Christ! Think about their reactions if they saw THAT!
Oh my, awesome story! I'd like to ask though, was the comedy "Through the Eyes of Another Pony"? I recognized that nyan cat part in the sky and the marshmallow revelation round the campfire.
This story Exploits all those fics out there that we read most of the time.
the satire in this was excellent
Hope to see more from you in the future
(Just some criticism The beginning ran a bit to long)
136572
I believe so. That was exactly what I thought
I haven't even started reading yet... And I know for a fact this is going to be EPIC.
Just the idea to write such a fiction is... It just makes me feel warm inside.
135815 My Little Dashie... BEST piece of literature I've ever read... And I read a LOT. :D
Damn, well at least they haven't read anything i've made yet, seriously the amount of halo content i produced on FF.net would scare the living heck out of people. And also the MLP story i've been planning is based around anthro-ponies, which raises the question, how come there aren't that many anthro/humanized stories? (Well not that many.)
136159 I'll have to agree with you there bro. I honestly can't picture the sweet things doing anything well....not PG. At the end of the day its still a kids show thankfully we have fics like My Little Dashie and Pirates for a Day to bring back the heart felt innocence and purity that we have come to know and appreciate and reminds us that we all are still kids inside. Needless to say it brings out the light in us. If not for this show I never would have known that writing was fun.
Am I the only one here who feels bad for Film Reel?
I kinda feel bad that that was just a one-shot; it would've been funny to see chapters on the girls finding different fan-fictions and seeing their reactions and whatnot. But, overall, it was pretty funny; I loved the parts with romance mentioned (that whole section was hilarious), but...wow, "Cupcakes". Can't say I blame you; that's where MOST people go when referencing something. It sucks, but...hey, it's popular. I'm glad even the ponies know that that would never happen; like Grease Brony said above, it's still a kids' show and they would never, EVER do things like that! Pinkie's insane, but not THAT kind of insane; she's the good kind of insane that we all know and love. I thought all the characters were perfectly in-character, and while a few of the parts were rushed (the days passing, the parts on finding and explaining the fan-fictions, etc), but overall it was a nice little story.
As guilty as I am about it, I agree with the message of this story. A good chunk of this fandom is... questionable, in true loyalty to the wonderful show and its universe.
This is just hysterical. Love it. Hilarious concept with flawless execution.
when it came to the part where it said "most popular, cupcakes" I couldn't stop laughing for about five minuets imagining the horror that awaited them!
Great job sir, you've made something great here!
+-
136932 I also feel that this could have gone several chapters with more details, maybe add how the show was filmed, mane 6 dealing with some stalker ponies (I can see somepony following Dash..).
I really wonder, what would have happened if they read 'tragic' fanfics? Like ones where mane six or other ponies die? That sure would be depressing to read.
Whilst this is a good story, I can't help but think it could have been better if you had introduced them to some of the good fics...like twos company threes a crowd or after that fateful night
Good thing that they didn't read Fallout Equestria.
At least they reacted towards cupcakes the way I thought they should have... They are lucky they didn't see the flash version by ocarinaplaya on youtube.
...... Oh sweet jesus, what did i just read....... Good story, don't get me wrong, very funny....... Until cupcakes........ Oh dear god, cupcakes..........
What I am wondering though is why they didn't look at any crossover stuff? Like with One Piece or Transformers. Now that would have been epic. It is also a shame that they threw out their computers and television sets. They don't know what they are missing.
Oh, not this agai--
*looks at fic image*
Rainbow Dash is smiling? This I gotta see.
137130 Aaaand...dreams crushed. Goddammit, there are a hell of a lot more popular fics than Cupcakes! Hell, you can't even LINK to that fanfiction anymore in most areas!
Ha ha ha, very funny, very clever. Some good observations here and I'm still laughing so that's definitely a good sign!
135911
< literally....
People need to be more original with their opening scenes.
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
136999 Yeah, agreed. There could've been so many places to go with this. Fans actually acting out fan-fictions on the ponies, crazy stalkers, the ponies getting "influenced" by the fan-fictions (that aren't tragedies), the filming of the show...there just left a LOT to be desired. I mean, yes, it was good...but it could've been SO much more.
Well, think about it. What if there was another world out there besides ours (which is very possible). What would YOU do if you found out that those "other" people were writing stories about YOU that involved you dying and stuff? I would think it would be a very creepy and horrifying experience, huh?
dose this count as braking the 4th wall?
Times Gabriel's reading difficulty happened: 0 *Dash Awesome.avi!*
I liked this for the satire. I suppose this is also why I...well I don't read a lot of Fan Fiction
Then again, it does make me wonder what the MLP Cast thinks of us. One can only imagine it's probably not good
137222
Yes. Yes it does.
Reading this I was reminded of the Terry Pratchett novel Moving Pictures, in which the world of movies is harder and more sinister than actors believe it is.
I had been wondering what the pony's reactions to Cupcakes would be, and I think they were represented rather well. I especially liked the sitcom references. "How I Met Your Mare" was very funny!
0.o: man, i read a fanfic a day and this made me feel kinda.....dirty.
ToT: i guess we can sto-
7_7: no no no belay that thought
0.o: but
7_7: no buts, we got about five of these stored up i'll end you if i can't even upload one.
-_-: ok just shut up and upload one already.
7_7: i-i can't
^v^: but why? i read some and there ok
ToT: yeah the new one is pretty good
7_7: I HAVE DYSLEXIA OK!!!
ToT 0.o -_- ^v^: really?
7_7: yes, but writing is my greatest passion
^v^: well there are proof reader
7_7: yeah guess (breaking the 4th wall) hey anyone want to help me-
ToT: us
7_7: *sigh* help us out?
good stuff, and no twilight, we love you, but love comes in all forms. Sometimes love involves a tub of jello filled with a pair of twin contortionists, two midgets, and a specially trained donkey.
136999
I actually LIKE how the author said "Screw this, I'm not writing that. Wham bam now you're famous live with it."
Oh wow, look at those views. I was not expecting this at all
I finished writing this at about 3 in the morning, so that might seem why the ending is rushed (it is). I originally planned for them to look at fan art and discover Rule 34, but... eh.
Also, about the Cupcakes reference- I know a lot of people are tired of it showing up everywhere, and I can agree with that to some extent. But when it came to choosing a fic, the other dark ones were Rainbow Factory, Sweet Apple Masacre etc. which I couldn't really use (in their TV show, Big Mac and the CMCs don't exist). Cupcakes is infamous; most people have read it, and if not, they've heard about it... I really do think it's the most popular fic. Along with My Little Dashie, which again, wouldn't fit in with the context of this story.
136572 I've actually never read 'Through the Eyes of Another Pony', so I guess I unintentionally referenced it?
I have got to read that now.
Thanks for all the comments and ratings, I am completely shocked this gained so much attention