A newfoal separated from his family after a PER attack is given a home for the holidays.
Written for TCB Event XII
Chapters (1)
AegisExemplar
Joined 15th Feb, 2012 ·
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I am having the saddened feels from pic.
Edit:
Dam these feels.
Very sweet!
Can I have my heart back now, please?
i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb317/Lord_of_Change/right_in_the_feels.jpg
Very nicely done Aegis
great story, love it. In that situation tho, my primary goal in life would be to kill all forms of leadership in the Equestria Government, starting with Tyrant Tia
Wait.....no
I require an epilogue!
i.imgur.com/G6sv1.gif
The funny thing is that most of the troubles the little boy went through could’ve been avoided if the Equestrians dealing with the newfoal children hadn’t behaved like idots.
Seriously, who thought that the best way of dealing with children traumatized by a PER attack is to teleportation them straight to Equestria in front of some scary looking guards without telling them what’s going on? No one bother to contacting the parents of their children to tell them what happened? No one realized that young children probably don’t understand the Equestrian language and brought along some interpreters? Way to go ponies, you just kidnapped a whole bunch of traumatized children. Also why are the ponies the one dealing with the victims of the PER attack. Since the attack took place on Earth shouldn’t the local government authorities the ones responding to the emergency? At first I assumed that nice mare was actually a PER member and the kidnapping was intentional but that doesn’t explain the guards. So yeah this makes no sense.
This is made even worse by the fact the Royal Guard and therefore the Equestrian government doesn’t even bother to search for a lost new foal they themselves brought to Equestria: “Ok he jumped out of the window. No longer my problem.” No attempts to search for him? No “Missing” posters? Probably not since non guards doesn’t realize that the colt they are casing away after he tries to eat some grass from a decorative lawns is a lost child.
Not even the social worker that takes him in seems to attempt to look for new foal families who’ve lost their children or tries to learn his story. But to give her some credits, she’s the first and only pony character in the story who really tries to help the kid without acting like a moron and making things worse.
The twist at the end surprised me. The hints were obvious but I still didn’t saw it coming. You really got me. Sadly that’s the only good thing I can say about the story.
Because the plot only works thanks to absolute incompetent and illogical behavior of the Equestrian authorities I gave this story a red thumb.
That is the single greatest cover art in all the land.
1811136 you're the first person to acknowledge giving a thumb down, and to explain why; as for what you've pointed out, i'd already decided to write an epilogue that explained things. I wrote it the way I did because in the decided ly experimental style i wrote this in, there was simply no place for it. Trust me, everything in the story happened for a reason. Epilogue will be up as soon as i write it.
Feels are being pulled. Good freiking job.
I believe you if you’re saying that theirs a reason for the strange behavior of the Equestrians. But if you don’t provide an explanation within the actual story the whole situates make them look either incompetent or outright evil.” There was no place for it” is no excuse in this situation. The story really suffers because of it. Therefore I’m looking forward to the epilogue, hoping that everything will make a bit more sense afterward.
1813138
Ah, yes... But one wonders if any explanation can be decent enough.
And the ending... wow. Such troubles and then he lands the winning lottery ticket?! The narrative got gratuitously poetic in there as well.
awwww... want to hug the poor kid!
Can someone please just write a story about PER members getting just fucking massacred
This was sweet and touching. A Hearth's Warming miracle. Yay!
Well, that thawed out my heart.