• Member Since 13th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen April 26th

heidi666


Comments ( 109 )

1793159
Oh look, it's Chips Handon.

Interesting story, but I have noticed something:
"Dash really had outdone himself "

Not bad, I hope you will continue it soon:pinkiesmile:

1793391
Hurrrr... Fix'd. Thanks for that.

1793415
It seems great and all, just one teeny tiny thing.

Fix the wall of text!! It's like I'm reading mount Everest here. :ajsmug:
Overall great job!

1793475
Thanks! Fixed that too. Formatting's kinda useless over on /mlp/, so I forget to put it back in.

Well that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

I'll give this a follow and see where this goes.

i see rainbow dash and scootaloo then i see it has sex in it well this is going to be interesting :ajbemused:

Feels abit forced, but I'll make my way all the way through before I call it:ajsmug:

1797315
How could you tell?? Yeah, I'm about as far from a decent writer as you can get.

When's the next chapter coming?
:heart::scootangel:

16
17

Aww, shucks you guys - Sadly it'll be at least a week or two... I'm at my parents for Christmas and can't really give in to my depravity with them around! :rainbowlaugh:

Well, it was kinda obvious, but still:fluttercry:
I hope we won't have to wait so much for the next chapter though:raritywink:

Oh...I know how dash feels...there was a man who always helped me...I never properly thanked him but when I finally went back to thank him for all his help, he had moved away to be closer to his children. I still never got to thank him for all his help so many years ago. Also the song was spot on for the flight :twilightsmile:

Personal Expereince SUXS Major.

Heidi you are a sick bastard but I wanted to tell you that's okay.

1793565
Google Docs is compatible with here, you know.
Also, the story in general seemed a bit sticky and rushed (Note that I only read the first chapter). Other than that, it's good. Keep it up!

Comment posted by heidi666 deleted Jan 10th, 2013

1933014
Aww, you too Togashi.

This is interesting... I mean sure it feels rushed, and could use some improvement here and their. But the events are believable enough (given some leeway due to the whole rushed thing)

I'm looking forward to where this is going.

1937471
Cheers mate. I know it's a bit shit, but then again this is the first fiction I've written since high-school english. Thanks for the encouragement!

Loving the story so far, and while I like it, I think it would still work without the clop stuff. The first chapters with RD and Scoots just sharing moments are to me the absolute best parts so far. Remember, I don't say you should stop the clop, if your intentions are to write that, then do it. Just don't make it the focus, that's all I'm saying.
Now get those fingers typing!:pinkiehappy:

1949597
I'm not talented enough with clop to make it the focus anyway. It'll be a side dish to some hopefully interesting plot.

Commence read.

Dash has to pull some strings? They get pulled.

MMMmmmmm....scootasex :heart: very sexy!

1954951 lol, it was more like a verbal gun she pulled...

1955366
Guns? BS. She pulled out the heavy verbal artillery

1956420 If there was a verbal equivalent to Pinkie's Party Canon...

1958464
But Rainbow Dash made too much sense. The only way to do a verbal Party Cannon is to be Pinkie Pie. No one else can pull a rambling auditory assault like that:pinkiesmile:.

Don't follow her into the factory Scoots! They're just gonna make rainbows out of you!:pinkiehappy:

The...feels.... T.T

“Rainbow Dash, one of the Elements of Harmony. I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at flight school, met Celestia herself numerous times and have saved over 300 ponies from various dangers including dragons, changelings and even Nightmare Moon, so either give me a room or go and get your manager. Who will then give me a room.”

Internet tough guy?
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.





I see what you did there

1962046
I was wondering how long it would take for someone to notice that :rainbowwild:

1955047
1961393
Thanks guys.

Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 17th, 2013

Commence read.

“I know, Rainbow. It's OK. You can't do anything about it know.”

Fix?

Some other parts might need a little fixing.

1975629
Thanks. I would fix up the rest, but I don't know what you mean.

Someone finally mentioned Luna not being idolized as much as Celestia. :rainbowderp:

Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Lunar 457 deleted Jan 18th, 2013
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