- Member Since 22nd Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Aug 31st, 2023
Gabriel LaVedier
Just another University-edicated fanfiction writer who prefers the cheers and laughter of ponies to madness and sorrow.
Gabriel LaVedier
Joined 22nd Dec, 2011 ·
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Oh My, I do say, this was quite a smashing romp. Alas, our dear couple did not come to the conclusion that they were in need of assistance. That would be another tale.
Good Day, sir.
Kinda reminded of the High class British Porno joke from Family Guy
Or the sex education scene from Monty Python and the Meaning of Life.
This... this is funny. I await more.
1789300
I took my inspiration from such sources. Especially Monty Python. Surreal humor at its finest.
1789307
And you shall have more. Next week, most likely.
Kinky.
1789375 How did I KNOW you were going to say that here? Oh wait, the title says kinky. That's freaking Regidar bate.
"Only the simplest things?" ---> Pear of anguish
snrk. I don't think I know what all of those devices and accoutrements are, but I get the gist. Makes me want to try writing similar...
have been assured from several of the peers it. of our peers?
Not bad, but I do wish to note that Pears are not used in any type of BDSM I've ever heard of, being that they are an actual torture device and all. Also, riding crops would be much more appropriate than a bullwhip, as bullwhips cause real damage, demonstrated in the story. So unless the guy who gave them the stuff runs the type of operation that would require a Bad Apple investigation and some shovels to dig up the bodies, half the items were grossly inaccurate.
Classy.
*reads title; sees cover* Well, this oughta be good...
Welp. That was interesting.
1792923
I suppose the "Comedy" tag threw you
Heh, forgive me my flippant comment. I want to emphasize that this series uses mroe of the comedy inherant in Equestria, such that "image" is more important than "sense."
Starting at the end, there is an old silly saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me." "Whips" have become a trope for BDSM, in a nonserious/non-real image sense. As in, they are for ambiance and shorthand ("Oh, a whip, it must be a kinky scene.") That's why it's there. For the
As for the pears, again, comedy. Also note they're nerfed. Made of soft rubber rather than metal. And it's not mentioned but they don't open all the way. They're mostly to plug things. As well, the whole thing was meant for a laugh. It's a classic cutaway gag. "What could possibly go wrong?" Cut to apocalyptic disaster.
I blame myself. I've done so much serious drama and carefully-controlled "real" things that I've poisoned you, such that simple comedy and "letting go" are now beyond your capacity. Forgive me.
1831613
Hope you enjoyed that.
1831615
I just want to note: There are people who actually use a metal pear, i.e. the actual torture device. Not many, but a fery few do.
This story is very fun to read.
especailly when they are very naive about it.
Ponies and SM stuff.
I would written a longer comment but i am a bit sleepy at the moment.
Keep up the good stuff, its awesome.
marefirned. How did you miss that?
Neighpon. Feels like it needs an -ese.
darling, On you. Period or capital, pick one.
The eye ports f mouth port can be open but not at the same time. What's missing?
forming tight to the tings then. wings
pull of pierces. off pieces
Weird break in final letter.
form issub. or. is sub.
1831615
You should know I like things to be accurate, and in this case you could get the same comic potential with accuracy. A cat 'o nines tails can be hazardous in the hands of an amateur, giving similar injuries under the right circumstances AND be believable. Same with the pear, there are plugs and such that could have fulfilled that role.
1852004
Mea culpa for the flight of fancy. I just wanted a bigger laugh. I'm playing to the cheap seats, or the groundlings if you prefer. I'm a socialist; I enjoy playing to the proletariat when I can. There's erudite portions and silly portions in even measure.
As for the corrections, I'll get them.
Eh, I believe you could get an equal or better laugh from a less exaggerated scenario, but that's just me.
You have to tell me how you missed marefirned, it's just so visible.
Awesome3
I love seeing chaos happens when sex is involved :-)
1856221
Sometimes I forget to do spellchecks. It's another symptom of being rushed.
aww you should have mad it longer.. with Push here and push that number ..
Rarity with scissors oh no 
but gasp
Other than that I love it
owoiwowow playing doctor hurts
owowowowow
1899347
Failing at sex hurts
Hmm... not sure if I should be offended by the the broken English, given where I work.
You're not a proctologist, Pinkie.
HAHAHA! The second best one so far. Fancypants is still my favorite of the series.
'Twilight, what's a speculum?'
Famous last words...
whoops! Guess Dash enjoyed herself a little TOO much and AJ got stuck...
1899726
Diamond Dog call centers are notorious that way. United Colonies or not, there's some things you just don't hire them to do. Tech support is on that list.
Reminds me of the couple times I've needed that worthless Indian tech support. Last one was on the side of the road, in the rain, with a guy who was getting mad at me for not being able to understand him through the thickest damn accent.
1899726
A domestic call center is quite a different beast than an outsourced call center.
Does it meany anything to you? mean
So are you not capitalizing doctor and miss because it's roleplay?
“With this be an. Will
Comedy gold here, from the checklist, to the side quest, the dice, roleplaying in bed, Spike's porn (oh the fridge logic with the Dog one). It I ended pretty much like I thought it would when I saw the chapter title, Pinkie needs better aim. Much more enjoyable than the previous ones, in part because I can actually picture this happening.
How'd she get stuck? Getting in is the hard part and it's not like a hoof isn't connected to a pony. If you managed to get the hoof in, it should slide out...hell, with the glove it shouldn't even be possible to get stuck.
You did so well with the Twinkie chapter too...
1908070
Funny tidbit of female anatomy - clinch. Happens if something shocking/scary/startling happens during sex. Somewhat similar to what canines have after ejaculation, but triggered by being startled.
It`s generally very ill-advised to attempt to disconnect by force and if couple panics, they may attempt useless things or just dawdle long enough to let the muscles swell and cramp. At this point, it`s highly likely couple will need medical help to be separated. Though, if someone keeps enough of level-headedness and couple gets into warm bath soon enough, clinch may go away naturally.
This is a common occurrence with amateurish attempts at fisting, as sudden pain from what`s essentially a punch into the womb from inside tends to cause clinch often enough.
1923439
With human anatomy, that is true, but they are not human. The ponies' hooves are the same diameter as the majority of their forelegs; they have no troublesome wrist that can get caught even if the fingers are compressed. In their case it'd be more like inserting a large cylindrical dowel or a really long, unopened can. Add in the glove and there is no place to get stuck. She'd have to be creating a crushing amount of pressure to keep the hoof from moving, and AJ just seems to be embarrassed, not in pain. Physics!
1925062
Unfortunately, shape has little impact on the issue. Most common victim of clinch (among humans, at least) is human penis. Which, if you remember, is also usually a tapered cylinder form.
1925693
Which is not a perfect cylinder, there are points like the glans where you could get purchase. Again, you have to remember that she has the equivalent of a glove on as well, her foreleg and hoof have less contact.
1927153
Sigh. Form of inserted object does not play much of issue in the case. The problem is the spasm of muscles that makes moving anything out a painful and problematic ordeal.
Ever had a cramp? Well, that`s rather similar situation.
1929397
I could see it being painful for Dash, but that wasn't my contention. AJ CAN slip her hoof out, one quick motion, then they can deal with Dash's side of things.
1905882
I was taking a page from Scott Adams. In "Seven Years of Highly Defective People" he wrote in a little note under a strip about an argument between Delbert and an Accounting troll. He noted that he liked to write dialogue between two people who are equally defective but in different ways. In a benign sense, that's Twilight and Pinkie to a T. Especially the "Roleplaying in bed" bit.
As for Spike's porn, well... I never established if he has a single-species sexuality or is flexible. Interpret it as you will
1929974
And potentially leave the glove in here.
I think Cytotoxin has got this issue well-handled. My work here is done
1929974
A word of advice. If you ever find yourself in a position similar to Applejack`s... don`t.
Yes, it`s not so problematic to separate by force. The problem is that it will be remarkably painful, most so for female in the act and will likely affect the chances of ever getting it on again - people tend to associate strong experiences easily, and last thing anyone would need is for their lover to associate sex and pain.
1932354
Well he is a dragon, and bang anything that moves is sort of a dragon trait.
1932356
Not like you can't get the glove later.
1932774
If the pain is that great, would it not also be excruciating for Dash to get them to the hospital, will all the bumps along the way, even flying? That's where I'm getting hung up; pain is not anywhere in that conversation, just a lot of embarrassment, making it seem like just force is keeping them together. Real life situations are irrelevant here when none of the information we have meshes with it. The only data I am using is what is written, and thus forming my conclusion based upon said data.
Oh, and on the warning, obviously. Human physiology would logically make that situation painful for both parties.
1936264
First of all, this situation does not accommodate walking around well - usually, in such cases, a gurney is provided and used to transport the afflicted parties.
Second, duh. Embarrassment is one of the major contributors to that.
1936368
Again, going by what was presented.