Shadow of the Sun
By Starwin
Chapter 4
If there was anything Twilight Sparkle was good at, it was organizing. With a newly inked checklist, Twilight was busy keeping everypony on track as she and her friends prepared to depart. Spike, as usual, was doing the actual checking off. He hurried around after Twilight as she inspected each task.
Applejack and Big Mac were busy with the four wheeled wagon they would be traveling in. It was the largest and most durable wagon the apple family owned. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, along with some other town’s folk, were getting what little supplies they would be taking with them ready.
Twilight glanced over the small pile as a slow trickle of objects came up from the cellar. Three bags of food, several coils of rope, one barrel of rain water, two blankets — one of which had come from Twilight’s bed — and a spare wheel. Rarity was helping load and organize the items into the wagon with her magic.
Twilight nodded, all was in order there. She checked the items off her list.
“We found the map you asked for,” called Scootaloo. She, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had gone off in search of a map of Equestria, mostly to try and keep them out of trouble while the others worked. The small fillies hurried across the barn, Apple Bloom carrying the rolled up map in her mouth.
“Perfect girls,” said Twilight. She used her magic to levitate the map, unroll it and place it on the ground so they could all see it. “Now, we need to figure out what’s the best way to travel to Canterlot.” Spike leaned over the map, examining the possible routes.
“The wagon is loaded and ready to go,” said Rarity as she, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy joined the growing group. Twilight levitated the checklist as Spike busied himself with the map. She ticked off ‘loading the wagon.’
“Everythin looks like its in tip-top shape, Twilight,” said Applejack, taking her place in the circle of onlookers along with Big Mac. Twilight ticked off ‘preparing the wagon.’ All that was left now was ‘pick route', 'say goodbyes' and 'depart.’
“Alright Spike, what do you think is our best bet to get to Canterlot?” asked Twilight.
“Well,” said Spike thoughtfully. “This path is the most direct.” He traced a straight line with his claw from Ponyville to Canterlot. “But I don’t see any place we could stop. There might be a cave that way, but it’s mostly hills and fields and stuff.
“If we go this way,” continued Spike, his claw moved in an arc that made a half circle to the north-east, “and follow the train tracks, then we can stop at Hoofington.” He tapped a small dot, indicating the town. “It looks like it’s about halfway between here and the mountain.
“But we could also go this way,” said Spike. He traced a line to the north-west. “Which would add maybe another day. But, it looks like there are a bunch of small ranches all along the way to stop for shelter.”
“I say we go straight for it,” said Rainbow. She reached out to the map and traced the first route Spike had outlined. “We go as fast as we can and race to the mountain.”
“But there is no cover that way,” said Applejack.
“There might be,” said Rainbow.
“But there just as easily might not be,” said Twilight. “Our safest bet is to go north-west… but, we can’t lose another day…”
“Then it sounds like we only have one option,” said Rarity. “We follow the train tracks towards Hoofington.”
Twilight examined the terrain. It looked like the road would be mostly flat until they reached the Silver River. They would have to cross the river as it ran from the waterfalls of Canterlot out to the Western Ocean and there was no way around it. After they were across, it was nothing but hills until their first stop at Hoofington.
The small town was maybe a day away. This first part would be the longest stretch of open land for them to cross. From Hoofington it would be less then a full day of travel to the base of the mountain on which Canterlot sat. They would have to hope to find shelter once they reached the mountain.
The final leg of their journey would take them up the winding path to Canterlot. If they were lucky they could make the trip in just under two days. The climb would be the most difficult part of their journey, even though it would have the most protection from the Sun in the form of caves and tunnels.
All-in-all, Twilight estimated that it would take roughly four days for them to reach Canterlot.
“To Hoofington then,” said Twilight at last. She glanced around at her friends. One by one they nodded their agreement.
Their farewells were brief. The town’s folk that had come up to help were getting anxious to get back underground. Big Mac, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo, Mrs. Cake and Spike stayed to see the six friends off and close the door behind them.
“Everypony ready?” asked Twilight. She and Rarity had assumed the front most spots in the wagon. Their seats would put them center in the group and give them the easiest time casting the spell. Applejack and Rainbow, the most athletic of the group, would pull first. Pinkie and Fluttershy sat at the back, ready to relieve their friends in front if need be.
“Ready,” said Applejack and Rainbow together.
“Ready,” said Spike, climbing up next to Twilight.
“Spike,” said Twilight, looking at her little dragon. She opened her mouth to protest, then closed it, then opened it again. “Alright,” said Twilight after a moment. “You can come with us.”
“Awesome! Can we come too?” asked Scootaloo. “We could be Cutie Mark Crusader Adventures!”
“No!” cried Rainbow, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack together. They had all experienced the chaos the little fillies brought along with them.
“I think it’s a better idea if the three of you stay here,” said Rarity at last, regaining her composure the fastest. “We don’t really have any more space and this will be a very dangerous journey. What would mom and dad say if something happened to you Sweetie?”
“What would they say if something happened to you,” replied Sweetie Belle, looking back at her big sister with a worried expression.
“Don’t you worry none,” said Applejack. “We will all do our best to keep each other safe.”
“Let’s get this party started!” said Pinkie Pie exuberantly.
Twilight looked to Rarity. She thought her friend might be having second thoughts – Twilight certainly was — but that was not the case. Rarity looked ready and determined. She nodded to Twilight. Both unicorns began casting their spells at the same time.
Purple energy streamed out of Twilight’s horn. White twines of magic flowed from Rarity. Shields flickered into existence around both unicorns. The shields touched and the magical bubble began to expand around them. It was like the shield was pouring from them and filling an invisible space, spreading outwards and encasing them.
It only took a few moments to form, but at last it was a solid shell all around them. Applejack and Rainbow Dash started to walk as the doors parted. The magic bubble glinted in the Sun and protected the ponies inside from the intense heat.
They passed the doors, moving out into the harsh light. To Twilight’s surprise, maintaining the shield did not become any more difficult when the rays of the Sun crashed against it.
“Be careful Twilight Sparkle!” called Mrs. Cake.
“We’ll miss you Rainbow Dash!” shouted Scootaloo.
“Hurry back Rarity!” called Sweetie Bell.
“Good luck sis!” cried Apple Bloom.
“Eeyep!” said Big Mac.
The doors closed behind them as the wagon rolled clear. There was no turning back now. They had to move forward if they were going to help everypony.
“Hey!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie as the wagon moved away from the barn! “Me and Fluttershy didn’t get a goodbye!”
The train station was clear across town, but the walk didn’t take as long as Twilight had expected it would. With Applejack and Rainbow pulling they were making good time. Far better time than she’d been able to do when pulling a cart herself.
Twilight couldn’t help but glance up at the Sun high above. It still hadn’t moved. Hoofington was a day away, but how would they know when a day had passed if the Sun wasn’t moving? Twilight supposed they would simply rest once they reached the town, as stopping any place before seemed unlikely to be safe.
The magic dome glided along the dirt, shining with purple as it phased around objects on the ground. The shield was only meant to defend them against the heat, which it was doing very well. Solid objects, such as the small rocks on the ground, passed cleanly through the edge as if the shield spell was nothing more than colored light.
While it was by no means cool within their protective sphere, it wasn’t boiling hot either. Twilight wished she could have cast a snow spell to cool them down. However, that was a fixed spell, so it wouldn’t move with the wagon unless she made it move. She couldn’t do that and work the shield.
They continued to follow the main road out of Ponyville. The wheels bumped over the train tracks as they crossed the metal rails at the edge of town. They paused briefly at the road sign which pointed them towards Hoofington. Then the group turned right and continued on.
They couldn’t travel on the tracks. Their wagon wasn’t wide enough to avoid the planks that the rails sat upon. The constant bouncing might cause Twilight or Rarity to lose their focus and interrupt the spell. Or they might break a wheel, for which they had only a single spare.
Luckily, there was a road, only a few dozen hooves from the tracks. They could travel along side and keep an eye on it so they wouldn’t head off in the wrong direction.
Across the train tracks and more than two hundred hooves away was the edge of the Everfree forest. It appeared to be fairing much better under the heat. It was hard to tell from a distance but none of the trees appeared to be wilting.
While Everfree Forest might certainly provide more cover, there was no clear path through it. At least no path on any map they had. Taking the wagon through the forest would have proved impossible as some paths became so narrow between the trees that ponies could hardly squeeze through.
There was also the added danger of the forest itself which was home to fearsome creatures and beasts. It was never a good idea to remain with in it longer than anypony absolutely needed to.
The first section of road was flat and featureless. The normally green grass had turned brown, small bushes had become skinny leafless skeletons. The plant life all around them was dying. They had brought their own food and it was a good things too because Twilight doubted they would come across any along the way.
In the distance they could see the bumps of the hills rising up. Off to the left was the tall mountain on which the city of Canterlot sat. It had never seemed so far away as it did at that moment.
For the briefest of instants, Twilight was tempted to try and teleport to Canterlot. She knew, deep down inside her, that she could do it if she tried her hardest. The problem was that she was afraid. Not just that the spell might go wrong but of what she would find, what she would face in Canterlot. It was almost foalish, but she didn’t want to go there alone. She wanted her friends to be there with her when she found whatever terrible truth awaited her.
Twilight’s eyes turned away from Canterlot and back towards Ponyville. The town was still prominently in their view. It wasn’t too late for them to turn back and abandon this mad quest. Yet, at the same time it was. She knew her friends would not turn away and give up so easily. Going back was not an option they had left.
The empty road rolled past them as they moved on. The scenery hardly changed at their fast paced trot. Mountain, hills, road, tracks, forest and town seemed ever the same. If it hadn’t been for the hoofsteps or the bumps of the wagon, Twilight might have thought them standing sill.
The shield took minimal effort between Rarity and herself. Yet, it was still draining her. Twilight could feel the strain building ever so slowly. Having no prior experience in maintaining a shared spell for any amount of time, Twilight had no way to know just how long she would be able to keep going.
After what felt like hours of walking, the town had finally become much smaller, although it was still visible. The hills had not gotten any closer but they had come to their first obstacle, a river crossing.
This was a larger river, maybe two or three houses wide. From where they were, they could see the sandy banks, but not the actual water itself. A lumber bridge had been built for the train but not for the path. The crossing point would be shallow but they would still need to be cautious. Pulling a wagon across fast moving water could be very dangerous.
However, as they got much closer, the group discovered that the crossing would be much easier than they had thought. The water level wasn’t low at all. The river was dry.
“Oh my stars,” whispered Applejack as the wagon came to a stop at the dry bank. There was no water in the channel. It wasn’t even muddy. The ground had pealed up in great flakes of dry dirt.
“What happened to all the water?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“It must be blocked off up stream and the heat… unh.” Twilight shut her mouth quickly. Talking made the spell much harder to keep up.
“The heat must have evaporated whatever water was left,” whispered Spike, finishing Twilight’s thought. “It’s a good thing we brought our own water.” He gave the water barrel a tap.
After the momentary pause, Applejack and Rainbow Dash continued pulling the wagon. It rolled down the gentle slope onto the hard dry river bed. The crossing felt a little eerie. Twilight was half expecting a wall of water to suddenly overtake them. However, in no time at all, they were leaving the river up the opposite slope. And, in a few minutes more, the river was behind them, blending into the flat landscape.
It was another hour or two before the ground began to rise, steadily sloping upwards. They had at last reached the start of the hills that separated Hoofington and Ponyville. While the climb was not steep, it was more work. Their pace slowed and both Applejack and Rainbow strained under the effort of pulling the wagon.
The path twisted and turned, doubling back on itself in some places as they climbed the hillside. At last, Ponyville vanished from sight as they rounded a bend that blocked their view.
They made their way over the second of many hills that lay ahead of them. The Sun continued to beat down relentlessly and the heat, combine with the hills, seemed to be taking its toll. Applejack and Rainbow had been pulling for most of the day and they looked exhausted.
Twilight had hoped that the train would have cut through tunnels in the hills, providing a little relief from the sun but there was no luck there. The hills were not steep enough to warrant tunnels. So the train tracks continued to follow the road, winding around the hills.
“I think it’s time to switch,” said Pinkie Pie as their pace began to come to a crawl near the top of the hill.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, I could use some water!” said Rainbow.
“Just a little further. Let’s get to the top of this rise,” grunted Applejack, pulling them onwards. The crest of the path was only a short distance more and they reached it quickly. Rainbow was the first to slip out of her harness as they brought the wagon to a halt on the level ground. She used her wings to hover into the wagon, creating a gentle breeze as she did.
“Oh, that felt really good!” said Pinkie Pie. Rainbow landed in the wagon, pulled open the top of the water barrel and practically dunked her head in.
“Rainbow!” said Rarity indignantly. “Show some restraint! That water has to last us… Oh, sorry!” Rarity had let her focus lapse, causing Twilight to strain under the effort of maintaining most of the spell on her own.
“It’s… alright… Rarity,” grunted Twilight. Rarity closed her eyes and concentrated on the spell. The shield glowed brighter as her magic was added back in.
“She’s right,” chimed in Applejack as she climbed into the wagon. “We need to conserve what we have. We don’t know what we’re gona find in Hoofington. With heat like this, the water we have might be all we are gona have. You saw that river. Might not be any water left from here to Canterlot.”
Rainbow backed away from the water barrel, tiny droplets dripping from her muzzle. “Sorry,” she said, her ears drooping a little. “You really think we aren’t going to find water anywhere?”
“I don’t know sugarcube,” said Applejack. “But I hope everypony is being cautious with what they have and makin it last as long as they can. It may take us four days to get to Canterlot, but that doesn’t mean everything will be fixed when we get there.”
“Keep… moving…” grunted Twilight. Everypony looked at Twilight. They seemingly had forgotten that while they were all taking a break she and Rarity were keeping them safe.
“Oh, right, sorry,” said Fluttershy. She and Pinkie Pie hopped out of the wagon and fitted themselves into the harnesses.
“How you doing sugarcube?” asked Applejack, looking towards Twilight with concern. The lavender mare gave her a sideways look. Her face was relaxed and calm with concentration now that they were moving again. “You and Rarity still both ok?”
Twilight nodded but didn’t speak. Recovering from their lapse had been more difficult than Twilight thought it should have been. However, the shield seemed to be stable for the moment.
“So what do you mean everything might not be fixed when we get to Canterlot?” asked Rainbow.
“Uh, what?” asked Applejack, caught off guard by the question.
“You said everything might not be fixed when we get to Canterlot,” repeated Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, it’s nothing sugarcube,” said Applejack. Her eyes flicked to Twilight and then quickly looked away.
For a long while the group traveled in silence. Neither Rarity nor Twilight were able to talk freely. Both Pinkie and Fluttershy were working hard pulling the wagon. Neither of them were as fit as Rainbow or Applejack so talking for them was limited as well.
The wagon tilted back as they started up the incline of another hill. All four of the ponies in the wagon reached out a hoof to keep themselves from sliding out the back. Spike just dug his claws in.
These hills had once been green with grass but now they had turned brown. There were no trees here, save for those of the Everfree forest, which had splintered off from the road a while back and become a distant line of green.
“AJ,” asked Rainbow after a long while. “What do you think happened to all the pegasus in Cloudsdale? Now that… now that it’s gone?”
“I don’t know sugarcube,” said Applejack, looking sadden by the question. “I hope they all got out of there once they noticed something was wrong.”
“Yeah,” said Rainbow, biting her lip.
“Did they have a plan, you know, in case of emergency?” asked Applejack.
“Move the city,” said Rainbow, her eyes looking longingly off towards where her cloud-city childhood home had once been. “I guess that plan wouldn’t have done much good.”
“I’m sure everypony got out just fine,” said Applejack, trying her best to give her friend a reassuring smile.
Once more the friends drifted into silence. The wagon moved along, shaking slightly at the bumps in the road. They rounded the corner of the path to reach the top of another hill, several more stretched out in front of them as they started downwards once more.
“But what if they couldn’t fly?” asked Rainbow. The destruction of her home still weighed heavy on her thoughts. “What if they just… what if they fell?”
“No ponies fell out of that city,” said Applejack. “I was watching it, when I could. Weren’t no ponies that went in, nor none that came out. Don’t know where they went but they certainly didn’t fall out of the sky.”
The protective shield around them flickered once, and then twice. Applejack and Rainbow halted their conversation. The expression on Twilight’s face told them both that something was wrong.
“Twilight,” asked Applejack in concern. “Are you alright sugarcube?”
Twilight certainly didn’t seem to be alright at all. Her face was strained and sweat was rolling down her brow. The shield flickered again.
“We need to get to cover!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. Her eyes darted wildly around. They were on the winding side of a dirt hill. There were no nearby trees, nor rocks, nor cover of any kind. Behind them Ponyville had long vanished. They were hours and hours away from any kind of shelter.
“Hang in there Twilight!” said Applejack, trying to sound encouraging. Twilight nodded but as she did, the shield flickered again.
“I need to get higher,” said Rainbow, her gaze turning upwards.
“Rainbow wait!” cried Applejack, but her impatient pegasus friend did not heed the warning. Instead she launched herself upwards into the sky, wings beating hard. In a blur of speed she vanished into the glare of the Sun. “Rainbow!” shouted Applejack. No answer came.
The wagon continued to move forward, climbing slowly towards the top of the next hill. Applejack’s eyes were still turned upwards, a hoof attempting to shield her sight from the brightness, but she couldn’t spot Rainbow Dash. It was as if her friend had flown right into the Sun.
Suddenly a small black dot appeared against the bright golden disc and a moment later Rainbow Dash sped down out of the sky. She passed through the protective barrier, causing it to flicker again. She landed with an undignified thud before collapsing.
“Rainbow, are you alright?” asked Applejack. Rainbow Dash smiled warily up at Applejack, her eyes half open.
“There’s something off that way,” said Rainbow Dash pointing out a hoof to their left. “Just around the hill, a big grouping of trees with a lake… and something else…”
“Something else?” asked Pinkie Pie from up front.
“What kind of something else?” pressed Applejack.
“Something… shiny,” said Rainbow with a shrug. “Like one of Rarity’s gems. I dono. It’s the only thing around for a long ways that I can see. The trees might not offer much, but they are better than nothing.”
“Alright!” exclaimed Pinkie. “Let’s do this!” With a sudden jerk she broke into a gallop. Fluttershy let out a squeak but fell into the gallop alongside Pinkie, having no other choice.
“Woah!” called Applejack as the wagon bumped and jostled at the new speed. “What the hay are you doing? Slow down!” The wagon bumped again, nearly tossing Applejack out. The shield overhead flickered as Twilight strained under the new added burden of staying in the wagon.
“Can’t stop now, we have to hurry!” shouted Pinkie. Just ahead of them the path curved sharply.
“Pinkie stop!” pleaded Rarity. However, when she looked towards where Pinkie should have been she found only empty harnesses.
“You guys might want to hold onto something,” said Pinkie. Somehow, she and Fluttershy had gotten into the wagon. Pinkie Pie was busy fastening a helmet to her head.
Rarity let out a terrified scream as the wagon launched itself over the edge. Spike clung to Twilight’s leg, holding on for dear-life. Applejack pinned her body against Twilight and Rarity, helping keep them in the wagon. Fluttershy grabbed Rainbow Dash and let out a wail of distress. Together, they all plummeted over the side.
Luckily it was not a sheer cliff but a steep slope that awaited them. The wagon careened down the grass slide as the hills on either side rose tall all around. Ahead was a small patch of forest, not much larger than the Ponyville park, and at its center was a small lake.
Except, like Rainbow had said, there was something odd about the lake. The water looked wrong somehow under the Sun.
All of the ponies held tightly to the wagon, except for Pinkie who had her forelegs up in the air and a huge smile on her face. The shield around them trembled and flickered in and out of existence. Applejack could feel the intense heat of the Sun through cracks in the spell.
The wagon bumped violently and the shield evaporated. Twilight let out a cry of distress as the spell broke. They were only exposed for a brief moment before a canopy of trees rushed past overhead. While the leaves shaded them against the Sun, they provided little relief.
The wagon didn’t stop or even slow. It continued to roll on, its speed nearly unchanged. Trees flashed past them, a few nearly hitting the wagon. The edge of the lake loomed up in front of them.
“Hold on everypony!” shouted Twilight. Her horn glowed with magic. The wheels screeched in protest. The wagon slammed to a stop so hard that the friends were tossed from it. They flew through the air, tumbling down toward the waters of the lake below. They crashed down hard onto the lake and slid across its surface before coming to a stop a dozen hooves from shore.
The group lay atop the lake, spread out from each other. They had not fallen into the water nor landed on a dry lake bed. They had ended up on top of solid water.
“Ice?” exclaimed Rainbow Dash in surprise. She tried to stand but her hooves slid out from under her. “This lake is frozen!”
“This is impossible!” cried Rarity in disbelief. She worked carefully to get to her hooves, only slipping once. “How can there possibly be ice here in this heat!”
“Actually,” said Fluttershy, “I think it’s rather nice here.” She looked up at the Sun which was still blazing above them. Yet it seemed duller somehow, not as bright. “Which is strange, because just a moment ago, it felt like I was burning.”
Applejack tapped the ice with her hoof. It was thick and solid, like midwinter ice that had taken months to form.
“It has to be magic,” said Twilight, examining the ice closely. Twilight looked up at the Sun. “Some kind of powerful cold spell maybe?” She held up a hoof. “I can’t even feel the heat of the Sun here, like there is something protecting us.”
“But who, or what, would make a giant patch of ice in the middle of nowhere?” asked Rainbow Dash, finally using her wings to get up after slipping around.
“A good question,” replied Twilight. She looked thoughtful but didn’t elaborate.
“I think there’s something out there,” said Pinkie Pie, holding up a hoof to shield her eyes and gaze off into the distance, “in the middle of the lake. It’s like some big tower, thingy!”
“I think we should check it out,” said Twilight.
“I don’t know,” said Spike warily. His tone brought the conversation to a halt. “I have a bad feeling about this place. Maybe we should just get back to the wagon.”
“We can’t.” said Twilight with a shake of her head. “Whatever is out there might be responsible for this spell,” she waved a hoof at the ice. “It might be the only hope Ponyville or Equestria have. We have to go.”
Twilight looked at the rest of her friends and none disagreed. Moving slowly, so as not to slip, the group moved further out onto the lake. Twilight led the way, with Pinkie Pie following at her heels. Applejack took the center of the spread out pack, Spike and Rarity trotting not far behind. Fluttershy was trying to be last but Rainbow Dash kept behind her, urging the other pegasus on.
As they got further out, flakes of ice began to lift from the surface of the lake and drift in the air around them. A gentle wind had started to blow, carrying the flakes in a twirling little dance.
“Oh burr! Is it just me or is it getting colder?” asked Rarity with a little shiver.
“It’s not just you,” said Twilight. “The closer we get to the center of the lake, the colder its becoming.”
She was right. At the edge of the lake it had been cool and pleasant. Now, the further in they got the more it began to feel like winter. With every step they took, the wind began to increase in intensity. The small flakes of snow that had drifted through the air now tumbled down on them, like it was snowing.
Before long the icy chill was biting at them, stinging like little knives. The drifting snow flakes turned into a gale of freezing ice. It was like they were walking through a blizzard, a blizzard that had sprung up all around them, out of nowhere.
“Twilight!” shouted Applejack over the roar of the wind, “we gotta turn back!”
“We’re almost there!” called Twilight, leading the way through the storm raging around them. She could no longer see the center of the lake. There was only a wall of white in every direction. Even the Sun overhead was lost in the storm.
When they had started towards the center it had been calm and clear, now it was like a hurricane raged around them. Twilight and Pinkie Pie vanished into the snow storm as visibility became zero. Applejack called out for them but her voice was pushed back into her lungs by the force of the wind.
They were going to freeze here! Equestria would burn all around them and they would freeze! Applejack pressed on. Turning back was not an option. Twilight couldn’t be that far ahead and Applejack was determined to catch up.
The icy wind blew against her, pushing at her, making her coat cold with frost. It was hard even to put one hoof in front of the other. Just as Applejack thought she couldn’t go on, the storm ended abruptly. The Sun shone down from over head and the piercing cold vanished.
“What the hay!” asked Applejack in confusion. She turned on the spot and saw a churning, whirling, wall of moving ice behind her. The storm wasn’t just behind her, it was all around her, in every direction. Snow and ice spun in a violent circle around this small patch of clear and calm.
“It’s the eye of the storm,” said Twilight. Applejack turned towards her friend. Both Pinkie and Twilight had made it out of the storm ahead of her. However, they were not looking at Applejack, they were staring at something else. Applejack started to follow their gaze but another voice drew her attention away.
“Whoa, that was cold!” exclaimed Spike. He emerged from the storm riding atop Rarity’s back. Fluttershy came next and finally Rainbow Dash.
“What… what is that,” asked Fluttershy, looking past Applejack.
Applejack realized she was the only one not looking at whatever her friends were staring at. Slowly, she turned and found herself in awe at the sight.
They had reached the center of the lake. In front of them, towering up into the sky was a fifty foot tall spout of frozen water. It was at least four ponies around, maybe five. The crest at the top of the column, where the spout had spread out before being frozen had to be another fifty hooves across, creating a dome of ice above them. All along the under side of the frozen dome were huge icicles.
The column of ice pulsed with a soft purple light. Applejack’s eyes were drawn back downwards towards the base. She felt her eyes widen as she saw at last what had drawn them here; what was frozen in the ice.
“Twilight, is that what I think it is?” asked Spike, pointing to the thing that none of the ponies could look away from.
“Yes,” said Twilight seriously. “That’s… my element of harmony.”
Yay! now to read.
POST READ: Well. That's was.. I can't say I expected that at all. That was awesome! From what it looks like, Twilight's element crashed there. I'm going to assume the other elements did the same. Fantastic chapter. Keep up the great work!
Is there going to be a back-story about 'her element of harmony' or did i miss something when watching the show? I'm kinda confused...
Luna's handiwork, I'm guessing?
oooh interesting I'm guessing Luna dumped the elements on the path to Canterlot and now the adventure is finding them all.
Also I'm still waiting on the eventual nightmare moon comparison lol.
this was an awesome read.
1909506 I initially thought that as well... Hmm... Perhaps Luna has provided them with a safe path to Canterlot...
interesting twist to the story. please continue.
The plot thickens!
A few misspellings:
"The plant life all around them was dieing." - should be dying
"Rarity had let her focus laps,"
"Recovering from their laps had been more difficult than" - both of these should be lapse
1909698
Corrected, thank you very much
What!!!!!!!!! ok, this is getting good
I think the EoH have a natural ability to harmonize (Uber heat needs Uber cold to offset it) the general area around it along with maybe Luna making it more potent.
If Celestia went all NNM, I think she should be punished and stripped of her power and title, or (if some organization can be made as a replacement), executed.
(Same goes for Luna, but that can't be changed.)
(And it's a children's cartoon about the magic of friendship and ponies.)
If one pissy ruler can wipe out all life on Earth, something needs to be changed.
Well, the story has reached its traveling stage, and I couldn't be happier to be part of it! Pinkie's punchline reminded me of Pippin's “Great! Where are we going?” My friend informed me that one of the major differences between the Lord of the Rings movies and original books is that Tolkien focused more on the journey than the cataclysm. I'm seeing a lot of that here. And I'm seeing more than just Tolkien parallels; after Rainbow Dash flew up into the Sun, I recalled that her brash decision to take the most direct route to Canterlot fit perfectly with the Icarus myth.
Not 100% sure on this, but I think “to” should be “from.” If I'm right, it's just one tiny blemish in an otherwise flawless chapter.
Possible spoilers: So far, I appear to be the only one who has noticed the absence of one of the travelers.
Awesome! Wasn`t expecting that!))
1913018
Thank you for the correction, although slightly different I changes the pronoun form "they" to "it" making the subject of the sentence time instead of characters. English, you so wacky
As for the uh, missing character, no, she's there, I just didn't re-mention her like I should have. Minor update for clarity. (while it might have made for some interesting fun to have one of them lost in the storm I didn't plan around it )
1910485 Uh, NNM? Sorry never seen dat acronym before and was curious.
1926937 Nightmare Moon.
1926957 Uh, okay.
1926960 Second N was a typo.
Oooo! Plot development!
But in all seriousness; a good chapter. I'm dying to see moar.
SPOILER ALERT!!!
If there was anything Twilight Sparkle was good at, it was organizing. With a newly inked checklist,
-True, and I bet "newly inked checklists" are a real thrill for her. This does make me think that the experimentation before setting out might actually happen. She could be resting up her magic before experimenting though.
and most durable wagon the apple family owned.
-Sounds like they are taking a good amount of supplies. Perhaps enough water for hot conditions rather than assuming the joined spell will take care of everything as well as it did initially. Also, I am pretty sure it should be "the Apple Family" or at least "the Apple family".
along with some other town’s folk, were getting what little supplies they would be taking with them ready.
-Ah, so not that much supplies... I am remembering the cart ride from "Smile Smile Smile" which didn't look like that big a cart... then again they might need more than that now that I think about it.
Twilight glanced over the small pile as a slow trickle of objects came up from the cellar.
-I assume they figured out the load-out in the basement and she is only double-checking it. Or, given it is Twilight we are talking about, triple or quadruple checking it...
one barrel of rain water,
-How big a barrel?
Rarity was helping load and organize the items into the wagon with her magic.
-Hopefully she isn't sorting things in an aesthetically pleasing manner over packing for tightness and accessibility. She does tend to pack a lot (Dragonshy, Sweat and Elite and Sleepless in Ponyville, and a sorta-example in Sisterhooves Social), but I don't know if that translates into packing efficiently.
Twilight ticked off ‘preparing the wagon.’
-Nicely fine-detailed! And they really are two different things.
All that was left now was ‘pick route, say goodbyes and depart.’
-I would split this up as follows: All that was left now was ‘pick route', say 'goodbyes', and 'depart.’
“Alright Spike, what do you think is our best bet to get to Canterlot?” asked Twilight.
-Not sure why he would be the expert. I suspect that Rarity is the most frequent traveler, or maybe AJ visiting her relatives. Spike probably only left Canterlot for the first time in the first episode... then again, in Look Before You Sleep he is off doing something for the Princess, so maybe that applied even before the series started. Or he might have been Twilight's navigator as she went on self-directed field-trips (or even with PCSfGU classes she didn't get ALL of her education directly from the Princess after her magical meltdown earned passed the entrance exam).
“Then it sounds like we only have one option,” said Rarity. “We follow the train tracks towards Hoofington.”
The tracks directly between Canterlot and Ponyville actually go through a lot of tunnels... but then again those might be so close to one end or the other to not be much use (unless, again, Canterlot is a puddle of lava now).
All-in-all, Twilight estimated that it would take roughly four days for them to reach Canterlot.
-Good to have that firmly established for the readers. It will be interesting to see what problems they encounter along the way... maybe an angry mob in Hoofinton? Opportunistic Dragons? The bridge over the (empty?) river bed being to warped from the pilings drying out and the wood deteriorating in the heat to cross, but the water or rocky and/or muddy bed of the river being a problem for the wagon?
Big Mac, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo, Mrs. Cake and Spike stayed to see the six friends off and close the door behind them.
-Interesting that Mr Cake isn't there... then again he may approach his fears for their foals, and their OTHER foal (Pinkie) in a bit more taciturn manner. I can't imagine him not being their with his wife (and, presumable Pound and Pumpkin).
Pinkie and Fluttershy sat at the back, ready to relieve their friends in front if need be.
-Ok, so shifts confirmed (I thought it MIGHT require all four non-unicorns...). I assume there will be no stowaways based on the descriptions of the goodbyes, but really that wouldn't be the CMC's variety of stupidity.
“Spike,” said Twilight, looking at her little dragon. She opened her mouth to protest, then closed it, then opened it again. “Alright,” said Twilight after a moment. “You can come with us.”
-Hey, he has heat resistance (meaning he can scout away from the wagon without exhausting the unicorns by having them split up), and they don't want to miss any letters from the Princesses. I would think it would be obvious he should come.
“What would they say if something happened to you,” replied Sweetie Belle, looking back at her big sister with a worried expression.
-OK, MAYBE they will stow away, or run after them in the Scooter+Wagon combo, but Sweetie Belle probably can't do the shielding spell so they wouldn't get far enough that the Mane Seven wouldn't just turn around and drop them off (perhaps after AJ ties them up to prevent a repeat performance). We MIGHT have a B-plot with the CMC back in Ponyville, but I doubt it. I also would have expected Twilight to leave detailed notes on the combining effect so that the remaining delivery unicorns can try it, to make up for the lack of two unicorns (and Twilight being worth any three other unicorns AT LEAST).
White twines of magic flowed from Rarity.
-Not sure if "twines" is the word you want?
It was like the shield was pouring from them and filling an invisible space,
-So it flows around and covers objects momentarily before moving on? I'm having trouble being sure exactly what visualization you intended.
To Twilight’s surprise, maintaining the shield did not become any more difficult when the rays of the Sun crashed against it.
-Interesting she wouldn't recall the amount of exertion from the first time. I guess it was brief enough and she was distracted enough that she wasn't in "student" mode.
“Ayep!” said Big Mac.
-If you change the other instance to "Eeyup", you should change this one too.
“Hey!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie as the wagon moved away from the barn! “Me and Fluttershy didn’t get a goodbye!”
-I don't know if the middle exclamation point is correct. Also, it seems like Pinkie to point it out. I guess they knew that goodbye's with Pinkie are depressing and/or lengthy (to the point of they didn't want her throwing a "Leaving to Save Equestria (Again)" party. As for Fluttershy, her only CLOSE friends are going with her. Well... unless you ship Fluttermac, but if neither of them has made a move yet than it doesn't count.
The train station was clear across town,
-I thought they were set to take the shortest route out of town? I guess changing their route away from the main road changed that.
but how would they know when a day had passed if the Sun wasn’t moving?
-Should have stopped in at the library for an hour-glass?
as stopping any place before seemed unlikely to be safe.
-Well, they should be able to recognize safe shelter when they see it, but if you just means she doesn't think there will be any such shelter, then that is a different matter.
While it was by no means cool within their protective sphere, it wasn’t boiling hot either.
-Good to have that calibrated. I thought it was much cooler, but that was probably just by comparison to having the blanket be the target of the spell for the passengers.
Twilight wished she could have cast a snow spell to cool them down. However, that was a fixed spell, so it wouldn’t move with the wagon unless she made it move.
-Might work for the longer rest-periods though. Putting some into the barrel could refill their water too.
It appeared to be fairing much better under the heat. It was hard to tell from a distance but none of the trees appeared to be wilting.
-Thought so... of course, they probably can't get the wagon in there, even if they wanted to. Fluttershy might be somewhat encouraged by seeing it though. Only somewhat since "fried animal friends" as her fear would quickly get quickly replaced with "eaten animal friends".
Taking the wagon through the forest would have proved impossible as some paths became so narrow between the trees that ponies could hardly squeeze through.
-Like I said... still, I expect an appearance by Zecora, or something. Unless the only point is to have Fluttershy say some stuff about her animals.
It was never a good idea to remain with in it longer than anypony absolutely needed to.
-Obviously... well unless your name is "Zecora".
The normally green grass had turned brown, small bushes had become skinny leafless skeletons. The plant life all around them was dying. They had brought their own food and it was a good things too because Twilight doubted they would come across any along the way.
-I'm not entirely sure that sun-roasted grass would be TOO bad nutritionally.
Not just that the spell might go wrong but of what she would find, what she would face in Canterlot.
-Well, that explains why she probably won't try it even three or three-and-a-half days later, when they are much closer.
She wanted her friends to be there with her when she found whatever terrible truth awaited her.
-Oh, wait... I thought you meant her teleporting the entire cart with her friends in it. Teleporting without her friends would be disastrous at this point. MAYBE for cover near Canterlot, but since it takes both her and Rarity to maintain the improved shielding spell...
Having no prior experience in maintaining a shared spell for any amount of time,
-Interesting she never covered that in her training. Then again, Celestia may have been keeping her happy but friendless intentionally. I know it sounds mean, but remember I said HAPPY and friendless, so it isn't a totally ridiculous theory.
This was a larger river, maybe two or three houses wide.
-Consider redoing this in "pony-lengths".
It wasn’t even muddy.
-A bad sign, but it should make their journey easier.
“It must be blocked off up stream and the heat… unh.”
-Somepony dammed it to keep water for their town? Seems a bit selfish if there are any settlements down-river that aren't served by other tributaries that merge with this one, but maybe their aren't really any such settlements.
Applejack and Rainbow had been pulling for most of the day and they looked exhausted.
-Time to swap out for Pinkie and Fluttershy? Also, I thought that Twilight was thinking that time would be nearly impossible to keep track of? Since she is the focus character, you might want to make "most of the day" more vague. Then again, maybe not.
“Oh, it’s nothing sugarcube,” said Applejack. Her eyes flicked to Twilight and then quickly looked away.
-Seems pretty obvious to me... then again, the EoH Blast could fix things very fast in some situations.
Both Pinkie and Fluttershy were working hard pulling the wagon.
-Somehow I don't see that to being a HUGE obstacle to speech for Pinkie...
Neither of them were as fit as Rainbow or Applejack so talking for them was limited as well.
-Ok, "limited" I can see.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow, biting her lip.
-A nice moment.
“Move the city,”
-Nice to see you agree on this point (although Hurricane Fluttershy makes it pretty obvious since Cloudsdale isn't usually part of Ponyville's sky). Of course, moving only helps with SOME disasters. Then again... volcanic activity can be moved away from, weather disasters are the equivalent of industrial accidents in Equestria, getting more distance helps with quarantine in a plague, and earthquakes can't touch Cloudsdale... so I am having trouble coming up with a disaster that moving away from wouldn't help against.
“What if they just… what if they fell?”
-She know somepony who can't fly (not counting the edge-case of Fluttershy)? In any case I expect that most non-fliers would be caught in an emergency, or carried with forethought in an evacuation.
Weren’t no ponies that went in, nor none that came out. Don’t know where they went but they certainly didn’t fall out of the sky.”
-Interesting point... indicates an early evacuation. Wonder why AJ didn't mention this a few sentences back?
They were hours and hours away from any kind of shelter.
-"Under the wagon" would seem the obvious choice. Or they could find a cave, and have Diamond Dogs show up in the night al la the Goblins in "The Hobbit".
No answer came.
-Eh, a minute or two is enough for her to do her scouting. She might be in bad condition afterward (and need a good amount of water) but she can do it.
The wagon continued to move forward,
-I thought the wagon stopped when the shield started flickering... not that that would be WISE. In any case I don't think this will make it much harder for RD to find them, so it should be fine.
Just around the hill, a big grouping of trees with a lake
-That could be very good.
-Going to stop here for now...
SPOILER ALERT!!!
“Like one of Rarity’s gems. I dono. It’s the only thing around for a long ways that I can see.
-Well, that is almost certainly going to be dangerous... or it could just be another unicorn with a good shield.
The trees might not offer much, but they are better than nothing.”
-Offer much what? Cover?
“Can’t stop now, we have to hurry!” shouted Pinkie.
-I wonder if this will prove to be one of her smart moments, or one of her dumb ones?
Just ahead of them the path curved sharply.
-Ah, probably dumb then.
However, when she looked towards where Pinkie should have been she found only empty harnesses.
-Or not.
Somehow, she and Fluttershy had gotten into the wagon. Pinkie Pie was busy fastening a helmet to her head.
-Ok, definitely one of her awesome moments. I expect the cart to NOT make the curve, but to arrive safely, even if the bumpy ride makes the shield fail for a few seconds.
The water looked wrong somehow under the Sun.
-Ice from a massive cooling spell? Or a barrier spell to keep the water from evaporating? Some foul creature pretending to be water, perhaps somehow related to the sun stopping? And I thought that the water was SEPARATE from the shiny thing?
The wagon slammed to a stop so hard that the friends were tossed from it.
-Sounds about right for her TK.
They crashed down hard onto the lake and slid across its surface before coming to a stop a dozen hooves from shore.
-Ice then?
Yet it seemed duller somehow, not as bright.
-And a shielding spell? Very small chance it is cold magic negating the unnatural heat of the sun on a level deeper than thermodynamics.
“in the middle of the lake. It’s like some big tower, thingy!”
-Ah, so there is something separate that was shining.
“It might be the only hope Ponyville or Equestria have. We have to go.”
-Good point.
Fluttershy was trying to be last but Rainbow Dash kept behind her, urging the other pegasus on.
-Good characterization.
flakes of ice began to lift from the surface of the lake and drift in the air around them.
-Magic with a slight anti-gravity side effect? Common in anime for martial artists.
A gentle wind had started to blow, carrying the flakes in a twirling little dance.
-Or just wind... maybe magically created... actually that makes me think.... Windigoes? There might be enough stress in Equestria to create the bickering they feast on, but they didn't seem the sorts to build towers, and they would be near a population center... unless they realize that that would reduce their food source and just do quick fly-overs to eat. Not sure if that would work for them, but you could say it would. Briefly considering them being the hostage takers, but Celestia could probably defeat them in her sleep even with hostages involved.
Is it just me or is it getting colder?
-Windigoes still looking likely. If so, they MIGHT even create a LITTLE bickering before they get PWNt by the Harmony Squad. Slight chance of Spike starting things off by roasting one with his breath before he snaps the rest of them out of their bickering with a few choice words. Of course, this ALSO could be where some of the Cloudsdale citizens ended up. They might have moved some of the snowflake factory machines here, and be running them as hard as they can.
Now, the further in they got the more it began to feel like winter.
-Go back for the blankets? Too slow. Send RD back? That would work.
The small flakes of snow that had drifted through the air now tumbled down on them, like it was snowing.
-The way you write this feels ominous, Windigoes seem more likely.
It was like they were walking through a blizzard, a blizzard that had sprung up all around them, out of nowhere.
-Windigoes seem probable now, but not a sure thing.
leading the way through the storm raging around them. She could no longer see the center of the lake.
-Ah, so the conditions are being summoned, not merely walked into. Also, I don't think the dialogue between AJ and Twilight counts as bickering... yet.
Applejack called out for them but her voice was pushed back into her lungs by the force of the wind.
-Separating them doesn't seem like the Windigoes Modus Operendi (sp?). Still they could be trying to outright kill a major threat, rather than merely feed off them.
Just as Applejack thought she couldn’t go on, the storm ended abruptly.
-Give them a nasty experience before reuniting them? Possible, but I suspect that this may be a defensive enchantment that cuts off to prevent "friendly fire" when the target gets too close to the tower. Windigoes seem less likely now. Might even just be a highly specialized unicorn with cold magic.
The Sun shined down from over head and the piercing cold vanished.
-Consider "shone"
He emerged from the storm riding atop Rarity’s back.
-Yep. She may think that he is too young for her (and she is almost certainly right), but that doesn't stop her from having a special place for him in her heart.
In front of them, towering up into the sky was a fifty foot tall spout of frozen water.
-Ah... so not a separate creation. The spouting could be from the same source as the freezing, or a different one. This makes pegasus refugees less likely. Since they have no way of creating such a... WAIT! What am I saying! They can totally draw water hundreds of feet up into the air. All you need is about 500 wingpower. Still, carving dwellings out of a frozen waterspout doesn't seem like the most effective way to build shelters in a hurry. Then again, the hypothetical freezing machines might have trouble with anything but water, and pegasi aren't the best with digging in dirt. Heh... maybe there is a pegasus who makes ice sculptures for decorations who could show them how to carve tunnels in ice. One uses what one has. The storm felt more like unicorn work than pegasus, if it even was pony work.
She felt her eyes widen as she saw at last what had drawn them here; what was frozen in the ice.
-Ponies? The Element of Magic which got sent flying by a villian (or by Celestia trying to use what was no longer hers in a desperation move?) or Luna trying the same, perhaps to cure her ailing sister? In any case it would be malfunctioning. I would say it could be RD's or Fluttershy's Element, but the color is wrong.
“That’s… my element of harmony.”
-Called it. Now they just have to dig it out and have her put it on. If they are lucky it will amplify her magic.
1909444
You mean her Tiara (AKA "Big Crown Thing")? Yeah, that is covered pretty well in the show. Or did you mean how did it get to its current location?
What a twist! Err..... not the pony, the situation.
Ooh! That looks strange and ominous! Also, I was totally convinced that the lake would turn out to be a mirage, but you managed to quite thoroughly surprise me, dear author.