Murder in Ponyville

by Roobles

Eye for an Eye

Rarity tossed about in sleep, unable to find comfort in any position. It had been long day, between her clients' orders and a necessary, though dreadful, social obligation. By the time she arrived home, her hooves were exhausted and she was longing to rest. But it was to no avail.

Opal was sick.

She might have a knack for the dramatic, but the way Opal mewled, with a paw upon on her forehead, was absolutely heartwrenching. Rarity couldn't stand to see the poor dear in such distress. Casting tired hooves to the wind, the pale unicorn cantered right back out the door and into the Ponyville streets. She couldn't wait until morning, she needed the very best for her precious Opal, and she needed it right away. She positively required the aid of Fluttershy. Nothing less would do.

But even after Opal was in caring hooves, Rarity couldn't take her mind off the poor dear. Diligent hoofwork took the place of rest and relaxation, stitching up simple designs in an effort to clear her mind. Rarity tried worked away her worries, deep into the night's hours, until she could sew no more.

Still. It was not enough. When it came time for sleep, her troubles still followed her there. Stress and worry pooling in her abdomen, chilling her into a deep unrest.

So when the closet door creaked ever slightly, Rarity stirred within her sleep.

And when a gentle weight pressed down on the corner of her bed, she groaned, opening her eyes in a fog of confusion.

Something felt wrong.

Rarity didn't understand why, but there was a panic caught in her throat, and an indescribable feeling that she just wasn't alone.

And just at that moment, as she made to sit, a weight lifted from the edge of her mattress. And all of Tartarus followed in it's wake.

---

Rarity shrieked into the night!

Something was attacking, something she didn't understand. It was claws and snapping and snarling, wriggling and digging into her fur. She could feel it on her skin, raking and ripping, vicious to take hold and tear apart.

It was drooling, and squealing and savage, madness with murder in maw.

Her mouth was open and screaming, her hooves flailing wildly in the air. She lifted and snapped her body, pivoting her hips, desperate to throw the attacker off.

But it was on her before she could stand.

Its jaw was clamped on her throat and growling. Nails gripping and writhing, searching for something vital.

Rarity shrieked and hollered and wailed, tears in her eyes and panic sizzling in her brain.

She reached up with her hooves, slamming them into the foul creater's body, crushing and ripping it away.

A spell was primed upon her horn, as the beast struggled and squirmed within her hooves. Her magic was seething and growing, ready to capture and restrain the aggressor. And just as she was about to cast it, the glow carried far enough to reach the creature of her demise.

It was Gummy. Snapping and swiping, hissing and growling.

---

"PPIIIIIIIIIIINNNKKIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!" Rarity screamed at the very top of her lungs, anger swiftly replacing the panic that had so briefly consumed her. Gummy was dangling helplessly within her magic, but still snapping and hissing all the same. She slowly, carefully got out of bed and stepped over to the oil lamp. She fiddled with a hoof, unaccustomed to working it without magic, but unwilling to release her grip on the foul beast.

"Hiya, Rarity! Isn't it a bit late to be calling?"

Rarity jumped at the sound of Pinkie's voice, nearly tipping the lamp and dropping the alligator.

"Don't do that to me!" Rarity spat, turning to look towards the window. "I swear you're going to give me a heart attack! You're nearly as bad as your wretched pet!"

Pinkie was smiling back from the second story window sill, nightcap resting on her frazzled mane. "Well you're the one that asked for me, silly. And as to why you'd do that I'm a littl-OH GUMMY!" The pink mare immediately snapped to attention and bounced inside. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you today!"

"Piiinkiiie!" Rarity's face was flush with red, breaths coming out in forceful huffs. "That precious GUMMY of yours just attacked me in my sleep! It was just, j-just so barbaric! Do you possibly have anything to say about this?!"

"Oh don't worry about Gummy," Pinkie giggled, "He's just being a silly little gator head. He. He thinks you killed Tom!" At this point the pink mare was snickering excessively, hoof pressed up to her snout.

"W-WHAT?!"

"Tom-Tom! You know, big, gray..." Pinkie paused her laughter for a moment, pantomiming her hooves into the approximate shape and size of the rock, "... kinda heavy, you used to think he was a diamond..."

"I know what that is!" Rarity snapped, indignation burning in her eyes, "And we agreed to never speak of it again! But what you're spouting off is complete nonsense!"

"Of course it is!" Pinkie blurted out, before leaning in to whisper, "Tom isn't really dead! *Snort* He just partied a teensy bit too hard, and now he's taking a nap on the side of the road! But Gummy thinks he's been murdered, and now he's out to find the killer! It's a murder mystery!" Pinkie was beside herself, bubbling with giggles and holding her side. "And look! Now he thinks I'm conspiring with y-you, and. And. And he's narrating the tragic betrayal to the readers! AND! AND! AND THEY CAN'T EVEN HEAR HIM!" The frazzled mare completely lost it, howling with laughter and rolling on the floor. "ISN'T HE SUCH A GEM?!"

Rarity sat down on her haunches, mouth open, staring at the crazed mare before her. Her eye was twitching and her spell failed, unceremoniously dropping Gummy onto the floor. The runty aligator showed no outward appearance of caring, though. He simply scampered over to his master and leapt upon her, snarling and lashing out with his claws.

It was — Rarity looked over to the clock by the side of her bed — it was two in the morning, and Pinkie was rolling around her bedroom floor with a filthy, vicious alligator. Rarity repeated that statement to herself a second time, hoping it would make somehow make more sense. But it didn't.

*Ahem* "Pinkie, darling."

Both the pink earth pony, and her pet alligator, paused to look up at Rarity. Their eyes were wet with innocence and expectation.

"It's very late at night right now. My poor Opal is terribly sick, and I have multiple looming deadlines from very, very important clients. Now the only way I'm going to complete those orders, and fulfill my duties to my precious Opal, is if I'm allowed to get the sleep I need. So Pinkie. Dear. Would you kindly take your toothless aligator AND GET OUT OF MY HOME!"

Pinkie winced and deflated, as if stricken by a physical blow. "Awwwww, but Gummy and I..."

"NO!"

"Not even just a—"

"NOO! Not here. Not now. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Go. Away."

"Fine..." Pinkie slowly stood up from the floor, gummy latched to the side of her face. "Well, maybe I can still make him think Twilight had something to do with—"

"GET OUT!"

"Okie dokie lokie!"

Rarity's hoof was pressed firmly into her face, as she tried her best to remain civil. It's true that Pinkie was absolutely incorrigible at times, but she was still a close friend.

"And please take your... pet with you, and try to keep him better—" Rarity's voice trailed off as she suddenly noticed the stillness of the room. The window was closed, and all was quiet.

She turned her head, scanning about to find her "guests", but it was to no avail. She was alone. Rarity sighed to herself and simply gave in. It was just a matter of Pinkie being Pinkie, she told herself.

And Gummy being... well, whatever he is.

Author's Note:

Comments

[zel]

dl.dropbox.com/u/93510029/bluescreen/what%20the%20fuck%20am%20I%20reading.png

[Roobles]

1816027
i.imgur.com/eCtxF.jpg

[EliSka]

Haven't read it yet, but that description sounds suspiciously like watchmen...

[Roobles]

1816042
I didn't think of that. But now that you've pointed it out, I can't unsee it.

EDIT:
I assure you that it doesn't contain any big blue penises though, if that's a concern.

[EliSka]

1816048
I almost died laughing at that edit. No that hadn't been on my mind.
Still, now I hope Pinkie dies, just so i can point out more references to that great movie. Who would be a better "comedian"?

[Roobles]

1816150

Still, now I hope Pinkie dies...

i.imgur.com/C5cbw.png

[Roobles]

1816707

Aye. I completely agree. I thought that Smarty Pants was really cute, and was actually delighted to see Big Mac run off with her. The narrator just happens to be a judgmental dickbag.

[Fiddlebottoms]

I figured we were heading to this sort of an ending from chapter 2, although I did not see the lizard coming.

1816042
It does help if you read the first three chapters in Jackie Haley's voice.

[Roobles]

1817040

I figured we were heading to this sort of an ending from chapter 2

May I ask what gave it away? Also, clearly this means my stories need to be more absurd then.

[Fiddlebottoms]

1817184
Nothing in particular, it's just the protagonist was drawing all these grimdark/noir/paranoid conclusions for no reason. It was funny.
There was a minute in chapter four where I thought Rarity was actually going to get murdered, and thought, "wow, I didn't think Roobles had it in him." So I guess there's a certain amount of me just being a "judgmental dickbag" in there too.

[Roobles]

1817285

Ah. Well, for what it's worth, in my headcannon that's how Gummy's mind operates. Something about his vacant expressions and aptitude for violence makes me believe he's a little off kilter, and often conspiring to kill the ponies around him.

You're pretty correct in your judgment though. I do have some plans for muder and gore in a couple of the stories I have in my head, but there isn't yet an intersection of the two, and a lot of the implementation may be unconventional. I don't really ever see myself writing a gore porn fic.

[EliSka]

Finally got around to read it today. Great story but I had it kinda all figured out at certain pointers in the story...
If you like this sort of thing, and haven't watched Lucky #Slevin yet, go watch it. That's a movie for you.
And oh... Pinkie didn't die lucky her... *sitting in his chair, stroking his cat evilly, thinking "give her time, give her time..."*

[Roobles]

1831885

he must be one of those mythical sewer alligators considering how much of a potty mouth he has

i.imgur.com/4DhBR.png
I actually laughed out loud for that. Thank you.

I'm not sure what you mean by your second comment though.

[Roobles]

1821179

Thanks for reading it. I tried to find a happy medium between dropping hints and still having a twist at the end. My hope was that the concept was absurd enough that folks would get blindsided, despite all the clues.

I'll take a peek at that movie though; I'm always open for suggestions on decent films.

And no, I don't ever want to kill Pinkie Pie. She's one of the few ponies that survives my main storyline unscathed.

[Charles Rocketboy]

I figured during chapter 2 that the narrator was clearly out of his head and seeing a noir conspiracy that didn't actually exist, but revealing him to be Gummy and his "revenge" being just a nuisance? Well played, author, well bloody played.

[Roobles]

1837572

just a nuisance...

Hey, he tried his best. He's still scrappy for a little fellar.

[reader238]

the real mystery was trying to figure out who the victim was as well as the narrator

[Roobles]

1953628

Yup yup!