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Sapidus3

Joined December 2011
286 followers

Stories (4)

  • Equestria's Twilight
    This is the story of the end. This is the story of the death of Equestria.

    83,940 words · 10,682 views · 818 likes · 11 dislikes
  • A Princess and a Potion, a Curse and a Cure
    Twilight confesses her love to Princess Celestia, only to make a suprising discovery
    6,755 words · 3,693 views · 205 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Equestria's Science
    Twilight explains the science behind Equestria.
    1,452 words · 1,074 views · 21 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Controlled Burn
    A wildfire is heading towards Ponyville, but luckily Twilight Sparkle has a plan.
    3,603 words · 289 views · 11 likes · 1 dislikes

Blog Posts (2)


This is the story of the end. This is the story of the death of Equestria. It is the story of the reign of her royal majesty, Princess Twilight Sparkle of the Fading Sun.

The alicorn sisters are dead and Equestria has turned to Twilight Sparkle to guide it. However, just maintaining a dim sun a fraction as bright as her mentor's keeps the new princess near her limits.

Years have passed and Twilight Sparkle is sure of only one thing. Equestria is dying.

First Published
11th Jan 2012
Last Modified
4th Mar 2012

Comments ( 671 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

I haven't commented on a story yet, but here I am - this is absolutely fantastic!  I adore how you gradually unfold what caused the current setting, rather than exposit-dump all at once.  :twilightsmile:  You've got yourself a track!

Of course, it helps that the "Princess Twilight" genre is my favorite.  :twilightsheepish:  Here's to the next chapter, haha!

#2 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

this is so saaaddd:raritycry: thay need a nuclare fusion bomb to re start the sun and poor twi imortalitys a bitch:fluttercry:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

You know that clicky noise from Adventure Time, used to describe sweet, high-quality armor?

You're getting that noise from me, about this story so far.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

I like this beginning! :twilightsmile: And I better see some major sad stuff at the end! :fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

#5 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Wow such a great plot and well written, bueno:yay: keep on writing bro can't wait for the next chapters

#6 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

I especially liked the parts about wing biology, I must say.

I don't normally read sad fiction, but this has all the right components for good, dark mythology (that's why I can accept you openly embracing a MLP-cosmos in complete contradiction with everything we know about stars and planets). Twilight Sparkle indeed. I should have seen that coming.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Interesting story! Curious as to what the others are doing, and wondering if they have tried using the Element of Harmony to boost the sun...

Noticed a small punctuation error:

“Are your sides still bothering you. I thought they were just itchy?”

Misplaced question mark- The first sentence is the question.

#8 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Hurts, Hurts, Hurts!

Indeed... growing wings would probably feel fairly agonizing. I'm interested to see where you go with this.

#9 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Will twilight ever be as powerful as Celestia? and what is the storyline of this story. Can't wait for the next chapter.

#10 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Is this Grimdark or just Dark? Is there any hope? You're crushing my heart, Mister! :twilightangry2:

Anyway, I'm going to keep track of this.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

This is amazing.  First story that I am tracking.  Keep up the good work!

#12 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Interesting. This has potential; I can see a number of ways this could go, and I may have missed the mark with all of them.

I await more in anticipation. Keep it up.

#13 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Um...no, I don't think growing limbs would hurt, if your body was doing what it was supposed to be doing. If you break your leg, it doesn't hurt for the entire duration of your having the cast, does it?

#14 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

Hmm. Very nice, can't wait for more.

#15 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

>>124063 but see, the body isnt supposed to grow wings. it'd be like the skin is stretching out to a ridiculously painful extent, and then a crapload of feathers are exploding out. it sounds painful.

and even if its not, its more fun to write than "yo, cool, i gots me some wings."

incidentally, im going to read this story

#16 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

If Twilight Really cared for Equestria she would free discord and ask for his help.:trixieshiftright:

#17 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Now that was truly awesome. Ehh still needs to be 20% cooler. JUST KIDDING!! KEEP ON GOING DUDE :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::raritystarry:

#18 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

o__o .... *uses backscratcher on Twilight's side* Scritchy Scritchy. >_>; *Instead of Brushy Brushy?*

#19 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

i never thought alicorn twilight could be pulled off so well.. this is beautiful. honestly, i hope it gets really depressing cuz i havent read a good, manly-tear-inducing story in a while. you've got what it takes, i can tell. but i hope you take it there.  good luck, my friend. :moustache:

#20 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

You know, in my current fragile emotional state, it would probably be a bad idea to read a sadfic. Too late.

Eager for more.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

I will track this, i'm intrigued.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Wow, I am really diggin' this story. Excellent work!

#23 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Fluttershy had a child?!(':rainbowhuh:'); I can't imagine her with a child.  I hope it is revealed who it was with.  My money's on Big Macintosh.

#24 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

>>123692

Thanks for the catch. I actually found two more punctuation errors while fixing the one that you pointed out. javascript:smilie(':twilightblush:');

Unfortunately, I'm not great at self editing, but hopefully people will keep me honest.

#25 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

>>124063

When children do teething, they scream all day, don't they?

#26 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

So a magic being's appearance is dictated by their will, as is their immortality?  So Discord looks that way specifically because he wants to look chaotic, and the winged unicorns look that way because they want to represent unity and power.  Interesting.  And any signifigantly powerful unicorn with enough will could become a winged unicorn and control celestial bodies.  This is rather interesting, although winged unicorn Twilight is a bit over done, but because this is so good, I'll overlook it.

Look forward to seeing more of this.

#27 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

This would be a good time for the Terran Federation(not Star Trek) to show up and offer to help them out of this.

#28 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

I'm really liking this so far. This is the first story I've managed to catch at the first chapter, so I'm really curious as to how it'll turn out. Nice job.

#29 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

I hope the sun gets a ll shiny at the end

#30 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

There's a lot of punctuation errors in here, which is one of the first things that pops out right at me. Definitely would try to work on that if you could. I see a lot of areas where commas aren't being used when they should.

Idea is real good, and is executed even better, but there are some things that come into question. First off, I'm fairly sure when/if Princess Celestia and Luna die, the sun and moon will not just vanish. I really wouldn't be able to picture that, nor would I picture Twilight creating a new sun and moon. Also, I think the Princesses only had to raise the sun and moon, and then it would move on its own (However I could be wrong.)

I definitely like this story idea, but there are some points were I went: :rainbowhuh: or where I facepalmed. May look into more chapters at a later time.

4 out of 5

#31 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Step 1: Find the Doctor...

#32 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Hopefully, once Twilight goes full alicorn, she can start repairing her nation (assuming there's anything left).

#33 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Interesting... Time loss might make sense for an immortal. The ability to jump through the duldrum.

#34 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

>>124835

I usually scour some of the stories I read to find all the errors, but I was so wrapped up in the story I didn't even notice any. Lol. :twilightblush:

#35 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Slowing down time for herself doesn't seem like it would really be helpful, would it? I guess if she slowed down time for everyone they might need to eat less?

#36 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

>>125151

Or speed it up for herself so that she becomes more capable sooner. Hence the need for research. (slowing it down for everyone would take lots of power I presume)

#37 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

>>125095

If you were talking about chapter 2, I gave it another look. Hopefully a large number of them have now been purged.

Regarding the sun and moon, cannon wise we have very little information on the the full nature of celestial bodies in the show. Obviously the normal laws of physics don't apply or magic wouldn't be required at all.

Would you care to elaborate on what made you facepalm? Or where you just talking about the plethora of typos.

#38 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

very interesting. altho maybe a little more detail into this great catastrophe that took 2 goddesses from the world?

#39 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

i see where this is going :rainbowkiss:

#40 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

I think i understand a little,

the first chapter, it was describing a beautiful, very interesting and very real world, not a story with beginning and end.

i very much liked the settings, maybe more authors will like your universe and write their own stories, averting "death of some of those stories" you mentioned.

And thank you for this awesome chapter and a previous one ^^

#41 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

I found a couple errors:

"It was only a mater of time."  = "It was only a matter of time."

and in:

"The unicorn had heard how the griffons dealt with such crimes, but she did not think she could bring her self to do such a thing. "

= " . . . bring herself to do such a thing."

#42 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Keep writing man, I expect a chapter tomorrow when I get home. Don't make the internet disappoint.

#43 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

If she sped up the process for herself enough, during specific moments, she could probably avoid dealing with afflictions or temporary pains. Such as during the evening concentrating on allowing her wings to form much faster, or expanding the evening so that she'll have more power to practice with, or store up over time. How proficient she becomess with this time travel/manipulation/using the Eye of Harmony/what have you will be a major point, further distancing her from the 'common' people of Equestria. Twilight help the world when she loses her closest friends to quickly by her messing with time to much.

#44 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

This is definitely gonna be sad. I can tell.

inb4 YOU DON'T SAY?!

#45 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Me gusta:rainbowkiss:. This is so darn interesting. Tracked

#47 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

This is definitely an amazing idea for a fic and I'm glad to see you write it. You have a certain depressing realism that marks the story as something that had a lot of effort put into it. I'm always just really happy to see how much people have put into their stories, so if for nothing else (which there are many other things) thank you for writing this, for writing it and doing everything you have with it. It's time and effort like that that make me appreciate a fic, not whether or not the grammar was flawless or not. (silly grammar Nazi's. I suppose they have their place in the world though, somepony's gotta point that stuff out) :twilightsmile:

^ Oooooh, I like what I just said, that's good. It sums up a lot of my feelings about what to tell writers on FiMfic, because there's a lot of things I could cover, but it always come down to "Thank you for writing this". I need to remember that to put elsewhere, my own personal copy pasta! *clops hooves together* :yay:.

It's a really original idea. Every author puts Twilight as the ruler after Celestia but it's usually not so.... (well, this is punny) dark.

:rainbowhuh: Not sure why my last sentence led me to this train of thought, but what do the other Mane 6 do in the Twilight-ruled Equestria? Dash is a commander, which is awesome :rainbowdetermined2:. I kept saying "Dash is best commander" after the Hearth's Warming Eve episode. But anyways, would I be wrong to assume that the other Mane 6 are also important in their own right? Applejack can be head farmer or something, I don't know. Err, I'm sure you don't want to give anything away, but will we see more of the other Mane 6? Looking at the character tags and seeing only Twilight and Rainbow makes me sort of nervous.....:twilightoops:

I can only assume that because Twilight's magic changes her so she can do what she "needs" to do, like live forever (and grow wings? but why?!? :trixieshiftright:), she will just somehow become more powerful and make things better eventually. Unless you're actually planning on letting Equestria be destroyed. :fluttershbad:

You sick, sick person. Shame on you. :pinkiesick:

lol jk roflcopter soi soi soi soi :rainbowlaugh:

If Twilight doesn't magically get a power-boost when she becomes a full-fledged alicorn something won't add up in my mind...... How did Celestia and Luna become so powerful then? I refuse to believe that they naturally had Twilight's power a hundred times over just by being born. In the process to becoming an alicorn there had to be something. I think. I have to admit it would just seem stupid if they simply were better than Twilight straight up. That kind of pre-destined stuff always bothers me a lot.

On another note..... Time. Twilight, I think you need to find Derpy's ocarina. :derpytongue2:

Your problems have been solved. Problem, eternal twilight covered Equestria/shadow dragons? :trollestia:

The time thing is an intriguing concept, though I would think bending the laws of time would probably be more stressful than creating a feasible ball of combustion floating in the air. I still can't wait! Tons of compliments, and have a long-flank comment! They're my specialty! :raritywink:

#48 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Step 1: Create 365 Vegeta's.

Step 2: Convince one to self-destruct each day

Step 3: Enjoy your new Sun!

#49 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

spacey wacey, timey wimey stuff is going down:derpyderp1:

#50 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 3d ago · · ·

Its sad but I want to read more :) . I can imagine the Gala being very different since the night is dangerous now. Is it grimdark because of the possibility of writing about Twilight having to save a pony from dying from the darkness? Like I don't know maybe Rainbow Dash? I have no idea but is it "pluss" or is it "plus"? I thought you used only one "S" with it.

>>124063 It does hurt, right now my sister is in my pain because her bones are moving in her pelvic area for the baby. I always thought pregnant woman were hurting because the baby might have been to heavy. But they actually are having their bones and joints move just so that baby can form and pop easier.

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