Here's that story I wrote a while ago, substantially reworked but still funny! (I hope).

This takes place sometime in the first season of the Lunaverse, between 'Carrot Top Season' and 'Foalish Misadventures.' I see it as a webisode or tie-in, not a full episode.

>>17093481709348 *Cheerilee

>>17093831709383: Fixed, thanks!

Oh, god... *Punches Blueblood in the face* Anyone objecting to that bit of ultra-violence?

Anyway, really funny. :D I love this. Poor, poor Cheerilee. And even poorer Heavy Roller when Cheerilee and Applejack get through with him!

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER BLUEBLOOD HARASSERS! YAAAAAAAAAY

Ah Blueblood. You always get the short end of the characterization stick, don't you?

Tailor should have thrown Blueblood out of the room.

At the current rate, they will become the first tour group to be chained together, along with their teachers and guides, before being dragged out of the castle.  And *still* they're going to lose one before they get outside.

Are you sure Discord has not returned, only in 20 little bodies?  

>>17094571709457 That's not ultra violence. *revs chainsaw* Now this, this is ultra violence.

Rule number 1 around me: Don't. Hurt. Children.

>>17097271709727

Are you kidding? Blueblood is probably one of only three ponies in all of Canterlot who actually wears clothes on a regular basis.

>>17101861710186

I don't know, most of those ponies in Sweet and Elite seemed to be well dressed all the time.

>>17098651709865: Heh. Sure seems like it sometimes.

>>17097271709727: But he has money! The tailor likes money! It can be exchanged for goods and services! :-)

>>17101861710186: Well, of course. A pony like him must have the most stylish duds. (Seeing as how he himself is something of a dud).

Good start!

FINALLY! I've been waiting for this story ever since I heard of it!

Ad Heavy Roller, is that anyway to show you're a good stallion? For shame.

>>17103001710300: Heh. He got distracted with his joke. Anyone could get absorbed in a joke!

And no one, I'm sure, can stop Scootaloo when she's determined to cause some mischief. I think that's her special talent. :-)

>>17103241710324

She gets that from her mother.

>>17094571709457

I object!

You didn't hit him hard enough.

>>17099451709945

Hold on, let me get him into the bear-trap first.

Special Messes Team of the Canterlot Castle janitorial staff

This is promising. I think it could work as a full episode if you work Cheerilee's characterisation enough.

I think fitting the opening song after the foals barge in on Blueblood would work perfectly.

Also it's 'aquarium' not acquarium.

>>17108621710862: Glad you liked it!

I imagine the Special Messes Team has a lot of entertaining stories to tell. Most of them relating either to foal shenanigans or noble shenanigans. They'd be entertaining to follow around sometime. :-)

I don't know if there's enough material here for a full episode, but I'll see how it plays out.

And I'll make that edit. Thanks!

...Well, this was the laugh I needed.

No, seriously, this was hilarious. Blueblood being a narcissistic moron? Cake catastrophes? Not to mention the foals blatantly abusing their family relations to get where they want. I think I see a breakdown in Cheerilee's future...

Keep up the good work.

it was well written Cheerilee's imagination was amusing and I desperately want to hurt Blueblood or I at least hope that tailor sticks him full of pins, like a vodoo doll.

But I smell a "GGs great" story coming on that and I've just never been much for foal episodes same for CMC, this has nothing to do with your writing though, that's just me.

that or it'll have Luna in which case it will almost certainly be awosume and or cute, though be careful not to make whom ever finds the kids do so because of plot convenience. or not it's your story.

Don't worry, Cheerilee! No matter how badly this goes, it can't be as bad as the school trip was in canon.

This is really cute. I have a lot of admiration for authors who can actually write foals convincingly, because I really can't. I look forward to seeing just how much trouble they get into!

>>17114771711477. IAH isn't complaining, but actually loves a story?   It's the end of the world! Everybunny run around screaming in circles!

Watch this; they get home and Rarity chastises them for daring to talk back to that dreamy Viscount that her blubber-skulled clinginess helped drive away.

>>17094571709457

Please, that's not ultraviolence.

Image: http://cdn.motinetwork.net/demotivationalposters.net/image/demotivational-poster/small/1001/space-marines-warhammer-40k-space-marine-demotivational-poster-1262402787.jpg

THIS Is ULTRAVIOLENCE!

>>17126951712695

I actually like quite a few Lunaverse stories. Why do you think I hang around here to begin with?

>>17131951713195

Only been here a little bit, mind you, but would I be correct in guessing you enjoy the more slice-of-life stories, and less the darker Night Court scheming and Tyrant Sun rising stuff? Correct me if I'm wrong on that, but even so, I think it speaks wonders about a  universe that people with wildly different tastes in stories can enjoy, and if there's no disagreement in a collaborative community, then there's no real collaboration. The devil needs his advocate to make sure things don't get out of hand and turn into a circle-jerk, so try not to get too down on yourself

>>17131951713195 Well every review I've read has been almost entirely negative and filled with disdain.

>>17147881714788: No fighting here, please. There's threads on the board and stuff for this.

>>17147981714798

Sorry, bossman. But seriously, I can't wait for the next chapter.

>>17147981714798 I was just fooling around.

One thing I didn't mention that I wish I did: I love the fact that you had Scootaloo asking about her mom. That just seems so.....cool.

I really hope she runs into someone who actually does know Nocturne.

>>17154691715469: :-) I tried to work something like that into the latest chapter a bit, let me know what you think.

Next time: Will Scootaloo succeed in sneaking onto the Night Guard training course her mom designed? If so, will she survive it? Will Sweetie Belle be banished into space? Will Dinky discover what mud-based villainy Greengrass is up to? All this and more in the thrilling conclusion!

>>17158851715885

I'm guessing 'yes' to all those questions.

>>17158661715866

Loved it.

Now all we need is the night guards to give Heavy Roller some crap.

I am just loving this story so far. Oh, you adorable miniature equines and your propensity for wacky hijinks! Seriously, this is one of the funnest stories in the Lunaverse in a good while. Each of the stories has its own dash of cutesy hilarity, and the imagine spots have all been great. My favorite so far is Greengrass' plan to hold all of Equestria's mud so he can prevent ponies from getting facials. (Wonder what his real plan is...)

Keep going, my good man!

...

...

...

Oh, and how dare you bring up L!Twilight again and why is Greengrass here and blah blah blah insert endless whining here.

I just realized Scootaloo was the voice of reason at the beginning of the chapter there.

....creepy.

Ooh...plot hooks galore.

I wonder what Luna needed the dress for...obviously the mud in Greengrass' office, on the other hand, was meant to go to his secret hideout.

>>17130921713092

That's not ultraviolence either, that's a jpg.

>>17172481717248: Hideout supplies probably wouldn't be sent directly to the hideout; Greengrass wouldn't want random delivery folks to know there's anything more to that spot than a disused building. But they would be sent to a drop off point much closer to the hideout than the castle, which is a fair distance across the city from it. That way, the Duke doesn't need to lug it as far, and there's less chance of someone seeing the Duke with a big box and getting suspicious.

>>17172951717295

It's a group of Space Marines armed with bolters and power weapons.

They are about to CAUSE ultraviolence.

And Twilight's stupidity (and Trixie's default loutishness) keeps on paying dividends; that's because the younger generation think that her whole blistering family wants to kill them.

>>17168971716897

I know. I guess nearly killing your teacher on accident really grows a pony up.

>>17176571717657

Ultraviolence? Pah! NIGHTMARE! is where it's at!

Luna loves foals! Luna loves foals! We all need to think that very loud so that Luna remembers.

Seriously, this is adorable. I truly love the idea of Scootaloo getting picked up by some Night Guard who worked with her mother. It has the potential to be awesome and tragic and heartwarming and all those good things.

So Luna actually owns dresses? She's doing better than Celestia, in that case.

I think this will be our opportunity to see that although Greengrass is a manipulative, scheming and self-centered politician, he's not actually a dreadful pony. That should be pretty cool. Either that, or he's going to put Dinky into an easily escapable deathtrap involving an overly elaborate death, watched over by a single inept guard. I'm up for either.

Not a bad chapter, overall I liked Luna's introduction, though Dinky's flashback seemed off, and yeah blah blah don't wanna see GG, Sorry.

I can't decide whether I like crazyleee or not (that's cheerilee and crazy combined)

I'm curious about what Greengrass is up to with this mud. Maybe it's for his garden, who knows? Or maybe he really is planning to steal all the mud.

Either way, this story is great so far, and I can't wait to see the thrilling conclusion!

The Great Mud Conspiracy is going to be one for the history books.

I'm really loving this. Poor, hilariously unfortunate Heavy Roller.

right behind it was a stunning dress with diamonds and pearls studded in a deep blue dress

>>17178571717857

And even if he is a bastard, "See, I found the missing foals! Here they are, safe and sound, and I definitely didn't try to pry any juicy gossip out of them, no sir!" still seems like the right move.