• Published 5th Nov 2012
  • 9,107 Views, 51 Comments

Sanctity of Life - SilverSolstice



What happens to a Pegasus who can't fly? Scootaloo's about to find out.

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Chapter 1

SANCTITY OF LIFE

(This story is a response to the Fanfiction Rainbow Factory by Aurora Dawn, itself based off the song by Wooden Toaster. Standard Disclaimer: My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro, not me, and I’m not profiting from this story. It’s just an idea I’ve had in my head since I read Rainbow Factory and I wanted to share it. The pic is from RizCifra, used with indirect permission.)

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sweetie Belle asked, nervously staring down at the ground far below.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had come to Dead Colt’s Drop, a steep hill with a road that led straight off a cliff. Despite the fact there had been two nearly fatal accidents in the recent past, Dead Colt’s Drop remained open as a takeoff platform for Pegasi.

Scootaloo stared down the cliff face, sharing Sweetie Belle’s anxiety. A Pegasus’s first true flight was a rite of passage. Once she had built up enough wing strength and confidence, she was supposed to take a ‘Leap of Faith’, jumping from a great height and soar through the air. The ritual was meant to help first time fliers overcome their initial fear of flying.

Scootaloo had put it off for far too long.

If Scootaloo had been from Cloudsdale, she would have taken the Leap at least a year ago, maybe two. Living in an Earth Pony town, with no Pegasus family to worry about disappointing, Scootaloo just hadn’t felt the same pressure to learn to fly as she would have in Cloudsdale.

But now Rainbow Dash was taking her to the ‘Greatest City in the Sky’. Flying wouldn’t be optional. Rainbow Dash would be willing to let Scootaloo ride on her back to Cloudsdale, but once they got there she would expect her to be able to get around on her own. She would surely be humiliated to be seen with a Pegasus who couldn’t even fly from one cloud to another.

Scootaloo would die if she disappointed her idol like that.

That was why Rainbow Dash wasn’t there. She didn’t want her to see her fail. Instead she had brought the closest thing to family members she had in Ponyville; Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

They were practically her sisters.

“It really is an awful long way down,” Apple Bloom said. “You could really get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine,” Scootaloo assured her, heading up the hill to get a running start.

“But what if you fall?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I won’t,” Scootaloo swore. “I have plenty of wing strength. I pull you two around for hours in the wagon with just my wings, don’t I? I just need help getting off the ground.”

“By jumping off a cliff!” Apple Bloom screeched. “There’s gotta be a better way.”

“This is traditional,” Scootaloo said firmly, continuing her march up the hill.

“But shouldn’t there be another Pegasus here to catch you in case you fall?” Sweetie Belle asked. “We could get Rainbow Dash…”

“No!” Scootaloo said adamantly. “I don’t want her to see this.”

“What about Twilight? She might be able to cast some sort of safety spell,” Apple Bloom suggested.

“No. No more crutches. No more training wheels. It’s time I learned to fly on my own,” Scootaloo said.

She turned to face the cliff. She took a deep breath, and then started galloping towards the drop. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle pleaded with her to wait, to think it through, but within seconds they were skidding to a stop, and Scootaloo was gliding over Ponyville.

“Scootaloo!” they both screamed, but they were already so far behind her she could barely hear them.

For a moment she was overjoyed, but she soon realized that she was only gliding, not flying, and was quickly losing altitude. She beat her wings as furiously as she could, but she continued to descend.

“Come on! Up! Up!” she urged herself. As the ground grew closer, she panicked. She started zigzagging wildly, and crashed into the bushes.

Moments later Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom came galloping to the crash site. Scootaloo was unharmed, but sobbing into her forelimbs over the failure. Filled with relief, Sweetie Belle hugged Scootaloo and Apple Bloom nuzzled her face.

“Don’t you ever, ever do that again!” Sweetie Belle scolded, tears of joy and anger running down her face.

“I’m pathetic!” she cursed her herself. “What sort of Pegasus my age can’t fly? Pound Cake could fly better than me when he was a month old. A month! There’s no way I can go to Cloudsdale with Rainbow Dash now.”

The sound of taunting laughter cut through the air. The Crusaders looked up to see Diamond Tiara standing nearby.

“Silly foal. That’s exactly why Rainbow Dash wants to take you to Cloudsdale in the first place,” she said with a devious smile.

“Get outta here Diamond Tiara!” Apple Bloom demanded.

“Wait! What are you talking about?” Scootaloo asked softly.

“Don’t you know what they do to Pegasi who can’t fly?” Diamond Tiara asked. Scootaloo shook her head. “They turn them into rainbows. They break their ribs and throw them into a machine that drains all of the colour from their broken bodies.”

“What!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

“Diamond Tiara, you’re a bald face liar!” Apple Bloom accused.

“Rainbow Dash… wants me dead?” Scootaloo whispered in horror.

“Of course she does. Cloudsdale has their reputation to think of. They can’t have Pegasi like you walking around,” Diamond Tiara said spitefully. “Rainbow Dash gets paid good money for bringing in rejects like you. How do you think she affords that mansion of hers?”

Hot tears began flowing down Scootaloo’s face.

“Don’t listen to her! She’s lying,” Apple Bloom insisted.

“Yeah, remember when she told us about Pinkie Pie’s secret ingredient?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Cupcakes aren’t made out of Ponies, and neither are rainbows!”

“If you don’t believe me, go look it up for yourselves,” Diamond Tiara suggested. “There’s a book in Twilight’s Library about pre-Equestrian history. You’ll find the section on the Pegasus Tribe to be quite fascinating.”

With her head held high, Diamond Tiara smugly sauntered off.

Scootaloo jumped to her feet and raced off in the other direction.

“Where are you going?” Sweetie Belle asked as she and Apple Bloom chased after her.

“The Library. I have to know if it’s true!” Scootaloo said.

***

“I’m coming! Hold on to your horseshoes!” Spike said as he went to answer the pounding on the Library door. The instant he opened it Scootaloo went whizzing passed him, aiming straight for the History shelf. “Whoa! What’s going on?”

“I need a book on the Ancient Pegasus Tribe,” Scootaloo replied as she rapidly scanned the bookshelf.

“Ah…sure, help yourself,” Spike said, still confused by her ardour. “Do you have a big essay due in the morning or something?”

Scootaloo ignored him, pulling out a book on the Pre-classical Era (The Classical Era was the time after the founding of Equestria, but before Discord’s Dark Age and the Golden Age of Celestia and Luna’s reign). She opened up to the table of contents, and saw that there were detailed sections dedicated to each of the three tribes. Under the Pegasus section, a single word in one of the chapter titles caught her eye. The word immediately filled her with terror, for it was one of the most evil words ever to be spoken, or written, and especially thought.

Eugenics.

She grabbed the book in her mouth and sped from the Library, just as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were catching up. She ignored their pleas to slow down and sped towards their clubhouse.

***

When Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom arrived at the clubhouse, they found Scootaloo curled up in a corner weeping, with the open book in front of her.

“Scootaloo, what’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle asked gently. Scootaloo slid the book over to her, and Sweetie Belle began to read aloud.

“ ‘When the filly was born, like all Pegasi, she was inspected. If she had been deformed, or sickly, or puny, she would have been dropped into the Pegasus Device, her worthless body turned into rainbows.

“ ‘On their seventh birthday, all fillies were dropped into the Pegasus Device once more. Those that were able to escape by flying would be considered valuable members of the Pegasus Tribe. Those who fell into the Pegasus Device were not mourned, or even given a funeral. It was their duty to die, and the Ancient Pegasi were only glad to be rid of such burdens.’

“This, this can’t be true,” Sweetie Belle stammered, her eyes wide with horror.

“It’s true. Rainbows are made of Ponies, specifically Pegasi who can’t fly. Like me,” Scootaloo said, trying to choke back her tears.

“Hold on, this book is about the Ancient Pegasi. How do you know they still…” Apple Bloom began.

“There are still rainbows aren’t there?” Scootaloo asked in response. “They must come from somewhere. Do you think they’re made of sugar and spice? It says right here that rainbows are made of Ponies!”

“But then… that means Rainbow Dash wants you dead!” Sweetie Belle screamed in horror. Scootaloo hung her head in dejection.

“I thought she loved me,” she whispered.

“We love you!” Sweetie Belle said, tears building in her eyes. “You don’t have to die tomorrow. I’ll have Rarity make the most beautiful cape in the world, and then we’ll run away somewhere where no one knows you’re a Pegasus. You’ll just always wear the cape, and no one will ask why because it will be so beautiful.”

Sweetie Belle hugged Scootaloo tenaciously, sobbing uncontrollably. Apple Bloom began weeping as well, and lied down beside Scootaloo, nuzzling her neck.

“We’re not gonna to let them take you. You hear me?” Apple Bloom said. “We’ll leave Equestria if we have to, but we’re not gonna let you die.”

Scootaloo nodded half-heartedly. She knew their childish plans wouldn’t work. They couldn’t escape Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash wanted her dead. She felt like her heart was shattered into a thousand shards. She had idolized Rainbow Dash, she loved her. But Rainbow Dash thought she was so worthless she didn’t even deserve to live. She would rather throw her into the Pegasus Device for a bag full of bits.

In the dark of the night, dark thoughts came into Scootaloo’s mind. Maybe Rainbow Dash was right. What good was a Pegasus who couldn’t fly? The very concept was contemptible. She was a disgrace, a mockery to all real Pegasi. She was broken, and broken things get tossed away. It would be selfish of her to burden everyone else, especially her two best friends. She couldn’t force them to live as fugitives, just to save her worthless life. If Rainbow Dash had decided that she had to die, then she would accept her fate with as much dignity as she could for the sake of her friends.

The Crusaders spent the night in the clubhouse. Sweetie Belle eventually cried herself to sleep, and Apple Bloom drifted off as well. The knowledge of her imminent death made it impossible for Scootaloo to sleep though. At the first crack of dawn, Scootaloo gently crawled out from between the two fillies and tip toed to the door.

When she reached the threshold she hesitated. She turned her head and looked back at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, and tears fell from her eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered. She jumped on her scooter and sped towards Rainbow Dash’s mansion. She dried her eyes, not wanting to let Rainbow Dash know that she knew what was going to happen. That would probably just make things worse.

She stared up at the cloud mansion, wondering how many young Pegasi had died to pay for it.

“Rainbow…” she called meekly, almost choking on the word. She took a deep breath and forced herself to stay calm. “Rainbow! Rainbow Dash! Are you up yet? Rainbow!”

A groggy Rainbow Dash walked over to the edge of her cloud lawn and peered down at the young Pegasus.

“Squirt? What do you want?” she asked.

“You said you’d take me to Cloudsdale today. You said to be here bright and early,” Scootaloo reminded her.

“Horse apples. I did say that, didn’t I?” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Just give me ten seconds, okay?”

Rainbow Dash relieved herself, splashed her face in some water and grabbed some muffins from her kitchen before gliding down to the ground.

“Hop on kid,” she invited. “Keep the helmet on though. I’ve been told I’m a real wild ride. Hey, you don’t look so good. Did you get any sleep last night?”

“No. I was…too excited,” Scootaloo said as she climbed onto Rainbow’s back.

“Understandable. It’s not every day you get to go on a tour of the sky’s greatest city with the world’s greatest flyer,” Rainbow Dash boasted. “Just be careful not to fall asleep. I wouldn’t want you falling off.”

Scootaloo nodded, trying desperately to keep up the façade.

“Here, eat up kid,” Rainbow Dash tossed her a muffin, and popped another one in her mouth. “Hold on tight.”

Rainbow Dash spread out her wings, and then shot into the sky like a rocket. She ascended upwards effortlessly, rapidly picking up speed. Soon they were so high and going so fast that everything beneath them was a tiny blur. They must have been going over a hundred miles an hour.

Rainbow Dash could break the sound barrier when she wanted to.

Dash’s amazing aerial abilities only reminded Scootaloo how worthless she was. She buried her face in Rainbow’s mane to protect it from the cold wind. She thought about letting go and just ending it now, but Rainbow Dash would probably catch her. She would want her money.

Soon they were among the clouds, and Cloudsdale was before them. Not being anchored to anything, the cloud city floated all over Equestria to provide its weather services. It never stayed put for long, nor did it ever stay away for long.

The entire city was quite a sight, but what caught Scootaloo’s attention the most were the rainbow waterfalls cascading down from the Weather Factory and down to the Earth below.

Soon, that would be her.

“Isn’t it awesome?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Hold on, I’m going in for a landing.”

Rainbow Dash swooped down and gracefully set herself down upon the clouds.

“Is this your first cloud-walk?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I’ve never been in the sky before,” Scootaloo nodded.

“There’s nothing to worry about, see?” Rainbow Dashed hopped up and down to demonstrate that the clouds would hold her. “Now you try.”

Scootaloo nodded nervously. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and hopped off Rainbow’s back. When she opened her eyes she saw that she was safely standing upon the cloud. She took a tentative step forward, and then another. She cautiously jumped up and down to test the cloud.

“See. Nothing to it,” Rainbow smiled. Scootaloo took off her helmet and set it down. She crept over to edge of the cloud and stared at the Earth below.

“We must be thousands of feet in the air!” she exclaimed.

“It’s quite a view, but you can see the ground from anywhere. We’re here to see Cloudsdale.” Rainbow Dash literally took Scootaloo under her wing. “First stop; the Weather Factory!”

“Oh. Great,” Scootaloo forced a smile. She had forgotten for a moment why Rainbow Dash had brought her here.

***

Poor Scootaloo felt like she was in a dream during the tour of the Weather Factory. Rainbow showed her how they made white clouds, rainclouds and storm clouds. She saw skilled Skysmiths making snowflakes, hailstones, lightning bolts, and even shooting stars. She probably would have been having a good time, if she didn’t know what was about to happen. She wanted to drop to her knees and beg for her life, but that would only be seen as weakness. So she just followed Rainbow Dash, forcing a smile as best she could.

At last, they came to the Rainbow Room.

It wasn’t really a room though; more of an arena. The facility was encompassed by a ring of very tall pillars, with no ceiling. There was a fearsome looking stone wall at the far end, with a large spout near the top.

‘Dear Celestia, what’s behind that wall?’ Scootaloo thought to herself.

A single stream of rainbows gushed out of the spout, cascading down multiple basins until it settled into large pools on the floor. There were Pegasi sweeping pool skimmers through the basins of rainbows.

‘They must be removing any chunks of pony.’

“And this is where we make the rainbows,” Rainbow Dash announced, too busy playing tour guide to notice that Scootaloo looked like she was about to faint. “This is just where we inspect the rainbows and make sure they don’t have any crud or stuff in them before we ship them out to the rest of Equestria. All the real magic goes on behind that wall over there. Now, normally the rainbow making process is a closely guarded secret; but being an Element of Harmony does have its advantages. Wha’d’ya say squirt? Do you want to see how rainbows get made?”

Scootaloo forced a final smile, and nodded. Rainbow Dash tossed her on her back, and flew her to the door that led behind the wall. When they stepped through the door, Scootaloo couldn’t believe her eyes.

Sugar and spice.

The Pegasi were pouring bags of sugar and spice into a great crystal cistern of water. Scootaloo raced up to it and stared at it, baffled.

“I don’t understand,” she said softly.

“The crystal acts like a prism, and splits the sunlight into rainbows,” Rainbow Dash explained. “The concoction inside soaks up the spectra, and becomes liquid rainbows. Isn’t that awesome?”

“But… then, I, what… what do you do with Ponies who can’t fly!” Scootaloo demanded, tears falling down her face.

Rainbow Dash only stared at her in bemusement.

“What?” she asked.

“I… I read in a history book that the Pegasi threw foals that couldn’t fly into a machine to turn them into rainbows,” Scootaloo said. “I thought that’s what you were going to do with me.”

“You what?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Kid, that was thousands of years ago. We don’t…wait. If you thought I was going to kill you, then why did you come?”

“Well, the book said that I was a burden, that I was worthless,” Scootaloo said, hanging her head low. “It said I had a duty to die, and I thought that maybe it had a point. I don’t want to be a burden to anypony.”

Rainbow Dash looked upon the downtrodden filly with a mix of pity and horror.

“Kid, let’s go talk in private,” she said, leading her to an unoccupied room. “Scootaloo, you listen to me. You are not worthless. The Ancient Pegasi were barbarians. They were monsters. Most importantly, they were wrong. A Pony’s worth is not determined by something they can or can’t do. Celestia’s more powerful than anypony that’s ever lived, but she doesn’t think of us as burdens. We are her beloved children. All of us. You are a beloved child of Celestia. Never forget that. Never doubt that your life is sacred. You have a right to exist, and you don’t have to prove it to anypony!”

“But I’m a Pegasus who can’t fly! I’m broken,” Scootaloo wept.

“You are not broken!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “How can you say that? You’re best friends with a Unicorn and an Earth Pony. Do you think they’re worthless because they can’t fly?”

“No, of course not,” Scootaloo replied. “I love them.”

“And do you think Sweetie Belle thinks she’s better than you because you can’t use magic, or that Apple Bloom thinks she’s better because you’re not as strong as she is?” Rainbow Dash asked. Scootaloo shook her head. “Because it doesn’t work that way! It doesn’t matter that you’re a Pegasus. What matters is that you’re a Pony, and your life is sacred no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you never learn to fly. There must be thousands of Pegasi who live on the ground because they’re poor flyers. There’s no shame in it, and nobody wants to turn them into rainbows.”

“But Diamond Tiara said that you paid for your mansion by turning in Ponies like me,” Scootaloo said, still afraid it was some kind of elaborate ruse. Rainbow Dash sighed.

“First of all, Weather Control is very lucrative,” she explained. “We prevent natural disasters and provide constant ideal growing conditions. Secondly, my house is made of clouds, which are made of water. So, not expensive. Thirdly, since my house isn’t on the ground it’s not technically part of Ponyville so… I don’t actually pay taxes on it.”

Scootaloo gave her a nonplussed look.

“Don’t tell anypony about that last one, okay squirt?” Rainbow asked. “Now do you believe I’m not trying to kill you?”

“So… you’re not ashamed of me?” Scootaloo asked.

“Of course I’m not ashamed of you,” Rainbow Dash assured her. “If it really matters to you, I’ll help you with your flying, but know that it doesn’t matter to anypony else. We love you for who you are, not what you can do.I love you, Scootaloo. Maybe I should have told you that sooner, but I love you. You’re like a little sister to me, and I’m sorry if I ever said or did anything to make you think that was something you had to earn.”

Tears of relief and joy fell down Scootaloo’s face. She threw herself into Dash’s forelimbs, causing her to fall backwards. She hugged her fiercely and sobbed into her fur coat. Rainbow Dash sat their patiently, stroking Scootaloo’s mane, letting her cry out all of her self-loathing. Eventually Scootaloo looked up and smiled into her magenta eyes.

“You have beautiful eyes,” she cooed, soft, yet clearly.

“Are we done with this ‘I don’t deserve to live’ nonsense?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Absolutely,” Scootaloo promised. She giggled at the absurdity of the last twenty four hours. Then a look of concern swept over her face. “Oh no! The other Crusaders think I’m dead!”

“You told them about this?” Rainbow Dash asked. Scootaloo nodded apologetically.

“Yeah. Can we go home now? I really should let them know I’m okay,” she said. Rainbow Dash sighed and nodded.

“Alright. We’ll save the Cloudosseum for the next time Cloudsdale floats past.”

***

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo found the other two Crusaders at Twilight’s Library. When they awoke to find that Scootaloo was gone, they searched all over town for her, only to find her scooter beneath Rainbow’s mansion. They then raced to Twilight’s to beg her to ask Celestia herself to grant Scootaloo a Royal Pardon. Twilight was still trying to convince the hysterical children that Scootaloo wasn’t in any danger when Rainbow Dash brought her in. The Crusaders tearfully embraced each other, and Scootaloo assured her friends that neither Rainbow Dash or any other Pegasi expected her to die because she couldn’t fly yet.

Rainbow and Twilight took the Crusaders to Sugarcube Corner for a treat to help them recover from their terrible fright. Scootaloo told her friends everything that Rainbow Dash had told her, and soon the fillies were laughing over the misunderstanding.

“It sounds like you really learned a lot today,” Twilight said. “I think it would make an excellent report to the Princess.”

Scootaloo nodded with a smile, and turned to Spike, who was always ready to take dictation.

Dear Princess Celestia

Until today, I thought that because I’m a Pegasus, I was a failure because I couldn’t fly. In my darkest hour, I even questioned my right to live because I thought I was such an embarrassment. But today I learned that my quality of life doesn’t depend on my abilities, but on the love of my friends and family. And real friends and family will love you no matter what you can or can’t do, no matter how great or how many your failures. Besides, flying would only take me away from my two best friends.

Your Faithful Subject

Scootaloo

Spike rolled up the scroll and teleported it to the Princess with his fire-breath. Apple Bloom hugged Scootaloo from the right, Sweetie Belle hugged her from the left, and each nuzzled her cheek, overjoyed that she was still going to be part of their lives.

“Also, never believe anything you read in books,” Rainbow Dash added.

“No Rainbow, that’s not the moral here,” Twilight insisted.

“That’s my alternative Aesop,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Agghhh, I hate those!” Twilight groaned.

“More importantly, never believe anything Diamond Tiara says, especially when she’s trash talking me!” Rainbow Dash said. “Do you three got that?”

The Crusaders nodded emphatically.

“Hey Dashie, I’m glad you’re here,” Pinkie said as she bounced up to the table. “Could you pretty pinkie please do me an itzie bitzy witzy favour and come with me to the cellar? I need your help with my new super amazing secret cupcake recipe!”

Before Rainbow Dash could respond, the Cutie Mark Crusaders all screamed

“No!”


Thank-you so much for reading all the way to the end. I hope you enjoyed my first MLP fanfic. I’ll have another one out shortly. If you did enjoy this one, then please like, rate and comment. For more of my fanfics, short stories, and articles you can visit my blog http://sanctumofvespertine.blogspot.ca/. You can also contact me at twitter.com/CaptainRorrick.

Stay Magic my Friends.

Comments ( 51 )

Ooh I really like the plot synopsis. Definitely going to shoot you another comment after I've read the first chapter!

References! References everywhere!

I admit to singing "Won't come back from Dead Colt's Drop..." early on.

And come to think of it, I believed some fairly bizarre things myself when I was that age.

I really did like this, a lot. I feel good for having read it.

No taxes because it's not on the ground...pardon me while I go work on anti-gravity for my house.

Just a note of thought: in human societies, babies that were killed because they were deformed or very sickly were killed for a reason. Yes, it was barberic and horrible thing to do, but it was a different world. It was a world where the parents (who statistically was likely to be a peasent) could not afford to feed a mouth that was unable to work.

I am not trying to make a horrible act appear as acceptable, merely point out the necessary practicality of it. Many people don't get that it is only a century-long thing for children born to not be stillborn and have very good chances to reach adulthood. In an age before reliable food supply, modern medicine (you have no idea how important vaccines and antibiotics are to a population's general health), modern sanitation (yes, soap is old, but its widespread use is not) and whatnot, life was much more brutal and hard than we would think (and yes, modern life can be brutal and hard too, but as most often, people lack historical insight). So a child with a deformity or even obvious sickness (meaning internal deformity) would have to look forward to a life more full of suffering, more laden with hunger and far more short than an average person of same birth. Unless the child was born to noble or simply rich parents, the child's chances of survival were far worse than that of healthy child in a similar situation.

Not to mention that a healthy child could work: nowadays, the modern world does not want to hear the words "child" and "labour" next to each other, but before widespread general education, children spent their lives helping their parents (who, again, are statistically likely to be peasants of some sort). Yeah, children mucked about and messed around, but generally, they were put to work as soon as they were able. It was life.

It boils down simply to food and resources required to raise a child that would later give back to the family. It is a horrible, brutal truth but it was a truth of survival nonetheless.

Equally, the whole Ancient Pegasi thing obsessed with flying may have been once a necessity: as a warlike people ("mighty tribe of warriors" and all that) who are also defined by the fact that they are airborn, in a time when there is no harmony with their land-dwelling brethren, not being able to fly would be an obvious problem. Again, the issue is not just not being unfit by cultural measures, but a practical problem of resources.

As for the bit about "making rainbow out of flightless pegasi", my best guess is that it's just anti-pegasi propaganda. It's one thing killing young out of necessity, but trying to harvest them for resources? Even the obvious repugnant issues aside, you would need a truly absurd amount of young to ensure a constant supply of that resource! I mean, think about it! You would need a tremendous amount of flightless pegasi foals to make a constant supply of rainbows for just a year!

Don't have much to say about the fic. It was a quick read, but I guess it was more of a "getting this out of my system" type of story?

Nice story. Easy thumbs up from me. As a reaction to Rainbow Factory it works well, and really, all the MLP "horror" fics could never take place in the "real" Equestria. It's all about harmony and love. A well-written, enjoyable read; hope to see more from this author in the future.

“You have beautiful eyes” :rainbowlaugh:

I really did laugh at that part. Awesome reference.

Just a couple of mistakes I spotted:
“Alright. We’ll save the Cloudosseum for the next time Cloudsdale floats pass.” -> "past"
"flying would only take me way from my two best friends." -> "away"

1564120

Thanks, I just corrected those two mistakes. No matter how many times you proofread something, you never catch everything. :facehoof:

very good story :twilightsmile: memories of when i read "Rainbow Factory" have surfaced :raritycry: especially when i read "You have beautiful eyes"

And a valuable lesson was learned. :ajsmug:

Very great story. If you don't mind me asking, whats your next story going to be about?

Some people have noted that the ancient Pegasi (at the time of the first Hearth Warming Eve) greatly resembled Earth's Spartans both in attitude and culture. The Spartans did kill sickly and inferior children, so it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that, in ancient times, the Pegasi did kill those who couldn't fly fairly early on. The Princesses would never have tolerated that, though, and neither would have the other two factions that united with them to form Equestria, so I'm sure it's been a dead practice for millennia.

Hmmmm. Those ancient pagasi remind me of something........


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I lol'd.

I almost wish that they had pulled a prank on Diamond Tiara for her nasty talk :trollestia: but even then it was a good story :twilightsmile:

Huh. Weak children killed. Kinda like Ancient Sparta.

Great take on this fic, and crossing it with a few Cupcakes references. Great job!

I read Rainbow Factory around 7 months ago, and it is not until now with this fic that's out of my system. Great job.

I really liked this! A bit rough, lots of telling instead of showing, pacing was wonky. But it was sweet, and a good way to get that awful Rainbow Factory taste out of my mouth. :twilightsmile:

Quite lovely. I loved the bit about Dash not paying taxes on her house. :rainbowlaugh: Good response to Rainbow Factory!:rainbowdetermined2:

Amazing work on this story SilverSolstice!
As someone who has read both "Rainbow Factory" and "Cupcakes" this story got rid of any bad feelings I had for them, so thank you for that! :twilightsmile:

Overall a great fic! You deserve a :moustache:

"The instant he opened it Scootaloo went whizzing passed him,"

It should be 'Whizzing PAST him."

Other than that, I can't find too many issues.

Comment posted by Honey Mead deleted Jan 8th, 2013

Beautiful one shot. Though i have never read rainbow factory, probably should now that i've read this, i know one piece of FIM canon that I would use to argue the concept of sacrificing weak pegasi fillies to make rainbows:

Fluttershy. :fluttershysad:

I have no further objections. LOL-ed painfully hard at the ending.

1564024 looks that way to me. Also, your explanation of ancient societal eugenic killings was both eloquent and informative to those not in the know. Have three Pinkie Pies :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

As an explanation as to why they might throw those pegasi into the machine, since sugar was very hard to come by in those days, glucose would have been an excellent source. I would think Rainbows would be a sort of appeasement gift for times of strained diplomacy, using the stored spectra liquid as a bargaining tool when times with the unicorns/griffons/dragons/insert more dangerous race than pegasi here were difficult. Much like how the infamous White Elephants were gifted in India, or any other number of pointless diplomatic niceties today.

2631081

That's an interesting thought about glucose, but: why use their own species? Why not just other sources of meat, like ambushing land-dwelling creatures (hunting is easier when you are a fast-flying creature with weapons)? Or even just using the bodies of their enemies?

I still like the idea that the whole "used flightless pegasi to make rainbows" is a smear. Like how they frequently accused Jews of poisoning wells. Maybe you can't create perfect unity and harmony between previously warring tribes so easily, and thus the smear survived long enough to become a myth that got stuck circulating in history books.

2633379 thinking on that, possibly they had the sacrifice of their unfit children and enemies as an offering to their gods, and the Rainbow was part of that process. Unless we assume they already had the Princesses as their god analogues, tribal cultures tended to sacrifice to their gods.

The smear idea is good too, I'm just saying it's possible either way.

this is good

That. Is. IT!

I need an anti-gravity device for my house! I bet RD would be looking at us poor schmucks like this: :rainbowlaugh:

Anyways, have an upvote! Please, I insist.

This is simply beautiful. It has been added to my top mlp fanfics :rainbowkiss:

I liked the idea behind this, but I didn't really feel Scootaloo's despair quite as much as I would have liked to, neither at the first peak, when she thinks she's going to be killed, nor the second, when Rainbow Dash pulls her aside to comfort her.

Though I'm sure the Rainbow Factory is a horror story in their world; gotta make up terrible stories about innocent things, kind of like how people believe that McDonald's hamburgers are made out of earthworm.

4758865 To be fair, earthworms would be healthier.:trollestia:

4787208 :rainbowlaugh: :trollestia: True that, true that.

I wish I could be more pissed at Diamond Tiara than Scootaloo, I really do. DT is a horrible bully and pony in general, but I've come to expect that from her, I'm numb to it if you will. But how dare Scoots believe Rainbow could do something like that, even disregarding the fact that she's the element of loyalty. Excellent story, had to read the last bit of it through water-glasses.

What next, Diamond Tiara? You going to tell us that Cheerilee is planning on commiting a bunch of murders? :trollestia:

All seriousness, this was amazing. I just read Rainbow Factory for the first time today, and it left a sour taste in my mouth. It was written well enough but...

Great work. You get another like and favorite!

4803766
She's a kid, a kids are impressionable

“You have beautiful eyes,” she cooed, soft, yet clearly.

Nice little shout out there.

“Also, never believe anything you read in books,” Rainbow Dash added.

“No Rainbow, that’s not the moral here,” Twilight insisted.

“That’s my alternative Aesop,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Agghhh, I hate those!” Twilight groaned.

:rainbowlaugh:

Will there be a sequel? Maybe the CMC Learning that Pinkie ISN'T making Cupcakes out of ponies? How about Diamond Tiara getting her just deserts?

A fantastic mix of sad and hilarious and d'aww. I could totally imagine Sweetie Belle immediately jumping to conclusions and Rainbow adding in her "alternative aesop".

That ending though

:rainbowlaugh:

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later #67.

My review can be found here.

... and years later - somewhere on an archeological dig - the site of the original Rainbow Factory is found, before all was moved to Cloudsdale. There, the so-called Pegasus Device is uncovered, which looks like a twisted, rusted, uncanny valley version of a pegasus with mechanical wings. Twilight Sparkle manages to re-activate it and - starving, ravenous for what we know as spectra - it attacks -- but the Alicorn is able to restrain it as it is old, rusted and slow.

Twilight - after examining its brain - discovers a horror: the Pegasus Device was - IS - an actual Pegasus; there's the remains of a Mare beneath all the wires and clockwork and magic. A mother - declared unfit after giving birth to two deformed colts - forced to undergo the whole nightmarish process of being transformed into the Pegasus Device, 'useless' womb gutted to make way for the tank to process the spectra from the corpses of her own foals ground up by the grinders her stomach was replaced with... and still more, and more, and more after that.

The Pegasus Mare did NOT want this, she was forced to be this way, driven mad by the grief, rage and pain, her own and those of the foals force-fed to her. The Princesses were unaware of this even happening at the time; they had no power or influence over Cloudsdale, the Ancients guarding their cloud city fearlessly. The Mane Six - of course - are utterly horrified. The Magical/Cybernetic Clockwork Pegasus is of course pardoned and then put into the care of one she might have been made to eat long ago: a yellow-furred, pink-maned Pegasus named Fluttershy...

Aww I really liked this, a nicer alternative to Rainbow Factory. Cheers!

That leaning on the fourth wall at the end though.

I found this story long ago, before I even read the original. But I didn't remember enough to find it again until I Googled:

"scootaloo" AND "eugenics" AND "factory"

I really love canon compatible stories. It may yet still be canon compatible in 2019 as the series comes to a close. I'll reread it to see if the updated parental status is in conflict with that one new episode.

1564024
I know this is an insanely old comment but I just wanted to commend you on your insight. History is one of the most difficult subjects for the very reason you point out, it is FAR too easy to look at something like Sparta and be like "THOSE MONSTERS". I have a disability, I am autistic and not even 50 years ago I would likely have been put into some kind of "institution" to spend the rest of my life as a drooling wreck, I'm left-handed for a lot of things, and I'd likely have been punished for being "deviant". In short many people (myself included at times, to be honest) are horrified that history is NOT kind, or sympathetic, or loyal, or any of the other virtues we hold dear (both here and in Equestria).


I did NOT like Rainbow Factory for the sole reason that like Cupcakes, it was written pretty much exclusively for the shock value. I always thought that putting it with a historical context would allow for both the shock without it turning RD into a twisted murderer "for the lulz, just because, etc." This is RF as it should have been written.

“You have beautiful eyes,” she cooed, soft, yet clearly.

Ow... my heart...

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