BubblepipeWrangler
Joined 12th Oct, 2012 ·
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You know, i always did imagine Vampires as being sensitive to sound.
BASS CANNON!!!
YOU'VE HEARD OF THE DREAM QUEST OF UNKNOWN KADATH!?! THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! *Begins Buzzing like a Mi-go, before howling like a shoggoth*
wow. this is a really good fic. more please!
Well I'll answers your questions here
)
)
(first sorry I didn't commented first, but I was busting my way through my read later list and writing my new chapter)
What I like about the story?
First : VINYL SCRATCH and OCTAVIA without the sad tag (normally I don't require anything more (excepted romance tag)
Second : Inspired by HELLSING (one of the most badass manga in the world)
Third : Your mix between Equestria and the Hellsing universe is incredibly well done. A solid mix of violence, humor and the friendship that makes it all complete
What scenes pleased me?
The Bella/Edward thing (couldn't stop laughing
The Sniping Moment.
Things to change?
Some paragraphs are too long. It's a bit annoying to read. But that can be easily fixed with some editing
And...that's it
anyway keep on doing what you're doing. It's really promising
2255442
Heard of it? Buddy, I've got the Barnes and Noble H.P. Lovecraft Complete and Unabridged Compendium of Works on my writing shelf less than a meter from my grey matter right now. I've got a copy of GURPS Cthulhupunk on the shelf below that, and a massive book of Salvador Dali's paintings on the shelf under that one.
2261774
Thanks for the critique! I'm uploading the next chapter now, and I split down some of the paragraphs. I also kept my eyes peeled for that transcription bug, so hopefully the paragraphs won't meld together if I end them with italics like they did before. It's great to know you're enjoying the story!
Best chapter as of yet. Keep it up, I'm gonna mention this on my stream tonight, hopefully get you a few more people.
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Thanks! I uploaded this chapter right before the site went down hard. I ain't complaining, this is all free, but I was hoping that if I put it out Monday morning there would be less competition. Like I've said, it's the readers who spread the word, the author just writes 'em.
I was kinda scared all afternoon that the crash might have corrupted the story. I have backups of course, but fear is rarely rational!
Thats a good one! Keep it up. I would mention it somewhere that I know other bronies would take a look but, sadly I don't know that many real life bronies. >.<
my god i thought octy was going to die and i was about to
but then vinyl brought here back and im
now
Another wonderful chapter
My Celestia! Those feels in this amazing new chapter were amazing. Excellent job my good sir, keep up the very good work. Also, if you have to do anything else besides pony writing (is there any?) then just take your time with it. More time to tinker is very good if this is what that time spits out. Good luck with Pony writing.
please continue this bubble
, i love it!!!!
also, il try working on my story agian
Love this story!!!!!!
Sci-Fi elements? Orbital fire-support ready sir!
Why can I see Vinyl one-mareing this?
Next Chapter on September 15?!?! I have to wait another year?!?!
2255442 Wait that's obscure?
I know I'm late on this whole thing but by God I love this story. So many references.....
-grins- I love this silly tale! I mean seriously this is bucking awesome!
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Thanks for the support! Comments are what keep me focused, since I know what the audience likes. If you enjoy my "style" of writing for Vinyl and Octavia, you might be interested in a lesser-known tale of mine. It has no bearing on Bon Hadescream at all, save that it is based on a discarded backstory for Octavia that I originally penned for BH. I put a lot of love into it, but it never really got much attention. If you're interested, it's What the Heart Wants
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3334385 Interesting story. I enjoyed it aswell
3333686 sort of.
2284720 awesome
3334385
Must have missed reread all right.
(puts away target designator) I never get to use this thing. Wait you said Tungsten-uranium rod bombardment, you didn't say any thing about about high precision plasma beam bombardment.
(Wips designator back out) Now hold still you beasties, this will only take a sec.
NOT AUTHORIZIED? Awww....
Kudos for the new chapters! I like that it's getting back into full swing. Great job as always Wrangler
~Grey_Symphony
Section 8? Why Did I read that as Section 31? The secret protectors of the Federation from Star Trek, who are willing to do anything to protect it up to genocide by bio warfare?
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Thanks! I'm trying to find a good balance between "posting more" and "planning more", so what I post is fun to read.
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You mean the chaps who answer to no-one and are fanatical about "protecting" the Federation? Originated on Deep Space Nine? Sorry, never heard of them before! Actually, that's very true, I hadn't heard of them before, but Google is an enlightening thing. I wouldn't say that Section Eight is the same, since their Prime Directive isn't "protecting Equestria". They're all aboutn%formatting Error. Data unrecoverable. Initiative TRANSMORTAL secrecy preserved. Order imposed autonomously, no further action required.
3354876 Wow.....next it'll be the Foundation or somethin...
Go with your gut. Honestly the candy making escapade sounds like a palette cleanser. Something after a dark dark chapter. As for the Chaos infestation in the mining town....-shrugs- And I will have you know I am partial to red-shirts! The Imperial Guard dies standing!
Hmm...I'd like to see A.
I would recommend saving B as an interlude, or a short relief chapter if the story gets too dark. Otherwise, both A and C work, though after how calmly this part ended, A might start a little too slowly. Personally, I think C sounds the most interesting, and after its climax, if the story needs some time to cool down, the start of A could provide it. On a side note, this story is much better without the abridged references (and it was really good from the start). Now that it is its own thing, it has tons of potential. Anyways, good luck with the rest.
I honestly thought that Even Counts was going to be the vamp. Like in the first Hellsing Anime.
for me it was either one to be the vamp both had the right notion. as for color I think she would take the one that would lead to understanding and eventually back to the black knight. It a matirx thing. I would take the red one. I always liked truth even if it hurt.
Real cool. Snarky griffin worries me...
3414336
Mua-ha-ha-ha!
I was trying for that feeling of uncertainty on the part of the viewer, since I wanted to keep you guessing until the big reveal. As I've said before, Bon Hadescream is a story I enjoy experimenting with, and in this case I think the experiment worked! I know the scene you're thinking of in the first Hellsing anime too, where Alucard steps in and blows the lady away before she can bite the guy. It's been a while since I watched the Original Anime, though!
Thanks for the feedback! Did you like the way the story turned out?
3415426
Truth can be a hard thing to swallow sometimes, but operatives always hope to find others who share their view that it is worth the struggle. Thanks for leaving a comment, and I hope you enjoy future chapters!
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Thanks for the feedback! I decided to go with path A, since it allows me to focus on both the main characters and the humble operatives of the Organization. I hope you like how the story has unfolded so far!
3381651
Your comment was very helpful! In fact, your concern that A might start too slowly was the reason that I started off the next chapter from a different point of view and tried to create a short story within the larger narrative. Originally, I was planning to have Bon Bon explain the vampire problem to Octavia and Vinyl, but thanks to your prodding I realized how boring that would be! Far better for us to see the horror firsthand, to see the tranquil night shattered by a monster, and saved only by the timely intervention of a nameless operative. That was the kind of storytelling I planned to use for C, and I thank you for spurring me to put it to work on option A.
I hope you continue to enjoy the story!
3424076
Oh hell yeah I'm liking how the story is going...then again I just love this type of story.
I also love how you are showing it's not only Vinyl and Octavia kicking ass but also the nameless operatives.
-salutes and smirks- Fraking loyal sir! The writer points and I obey!
I feel that it would be funny if some soldiers caught vinyl drinking octys blood. New recruits maybe.
Let's the party get started
3490326
*hat tip* Welcome, welcome! I'm afraid this story cannot hope to be as entertaining as any of Team Four Star's work, but I do hope you will enjoy it. Also, on the note of violence and bloodshed, I wish to draw your attention to this chapter's title once more. Darkness Dawning is of course a knock on certain sparkly vampires, but it is also a... well, in my opinion, a very excellent song from the album The Dark Side of Phobos.
Yes, yes that is indeed a DooM remix album. Yes, I made a Twilight reference into a DooM reference.
I do hope you enjoy the rest of my story, fellow connoisseur of abridged series. Please let me know what you think, comments from readers are unimaginably motivating!
finals in a nutshell
Hon hadescream Corp kinda reminds me of funtomhive toys from black butler lol :p
3599345
I've never read that manga, just googled it now! I suppose if that group is funded by toy sales, there are indeed some similarities. The Corporation finances the Organization by the production and sale of the best candy known. I felt that a food company would be the best option, since everypony needs to eat, and one of the kindest things someone can do in my opinion is to feed others. We'll be getting into it more in later chapters, but one of the main goals of the Corporation is to make excellent food available at prices everypony can afford, while still funding the Organization. Hunger is an enemy of Harmony, but one that cannot be fought with guns and swords. It has to be slain one meal at a time.
I'll look into that series, and I hope you're enjoying my little work here. Feedback always helps, thanks for the comment!
Um, Tavi is in store for death destruction, and the burning of heretics. But the cultist was interesting.
I wonder, Since Vinyl has a Camera Crew following her around, Is there any chance of a moment like this happening?
(0:35 for exact moment.)
3618936
That's actually a really cool idea, and it would fit in well with an upcoming chapter I have in mind. I try to balance Bon Hadescream, letting Vinyl be responsible for all the "impossible antics" while Octavia is the anchor for the more realistic moments. I'm currently writing some Octavia-focused chapters, but I've already introduced a somewhat amicable nemesis for Vinyl who would fit perfectly into a scene just like that.
Something similar does happen in the next chapter when Vinyl rocks the roof down and terrifies her camera crew. Also, she doesn't always have a camera crew following her, I just felt it would be a really good asset to have for this part of the story!
You've set my brain cooking, which is why I love feedback from readers! Now, how would I go about giving a vampiric DJ a lightsaber...
3333686
2255442
Of course it is obscure, and shame on you two for talking about it here! What will we ever do if the norms find out about such cosmic horrors? Panic in the streets, chaos on the web, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Remember, the most merciful thing in the world is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. (That was paraphrased from Pg. 355 of "H.P. Lovecraft: The Fiction: Complete and Unabridged", which is always within arm's reach of my writing desk.)
3472719
I've something rather like that planned for the end of this arc. Octavia has to get her friend back into fighting form one way or another, and the local operatives ain't exactly used to working with vampires.
3619889 -grins- But of course, I keep The Complete Lovecraft by my own bedside. But still, I'm happy a new chapter has posted..
Not sure if others reading this did, but I caught that TF2 reference.
Should through in a Slaneesh reference just to be safe.
3628621
Ha-ha! Music to my ears, well, eyes as the case seems to be. I hope you've been enjoying the little references I try to slip in throughout this story. Knowing that at least one reader snags them makes it all worthwhile.
Speaking of which, did you pick up Octavia's little rock and roll reply to Rollins when he accused her of being crazy? Vinyl certainly seems the kind of madmare who would know what the Crazy Train is, wouldn't you think? Who knows how many times she tormented Octy with that song!
I'd love to know what you think of the story so far, and I do hope you'll keep reading!
Oh by God I love this story.