I haven't played Dishonored yet, are there too many spoilers?

But I wanted a muffin !!!Prepare to be DISHONORED!

EDIT:Will be looking to this story.

Nice.

why fluttershy T_T!?

>>15287471528747

Best option, seeing she's one of a few lonely Ponies on the outskirts of Ponyville :P

>>15286951528695

Uh... some... Maybe not so many... I would still play the game first :P

>>15287211528721

Not the face!

>>15287271528727

Thank you ^^

i Hope nopony important dies....horribly

DishoNERD...

>>15287941528794 At the moment I don't have a computer that can run it.

I'd summon rats on Fluttershy. That would be interesting.

>>15290441529044

She would probably end up making friends with them :P

I'd rather have them eat her.

>>15291681529168

Omnomnomnom

It would be interesting to see what would happen!

>>15287941528794 You're welcome. Don't have Dishonored yet, gonna get it soon.

and soon.

i think he wants to take the world. if not well then.

>>15294581529458

Nah, he just likes to observe... It's like watching a good movie :P

Quick grammar nazi moment: When you are writing dialogue, you do not begin a new paragraph.  So this:

“The Lord Protector… Has passed away…”

She said quietly, barely audible over the sound of drops hitting the stone roads. The boy’s eyes suddenly lost their entire glimmer and became sad. His head dropped slightly.

Should be this:

“The Lord Protector… has passed away,” she said quietly, barely audible over the sound of drops hitting the stone roads. The boy’s eyes suddenly lost their entire glimmer and became sad. His head dropped slightly.

Other than that, it's the beginning of a promising story. I look forward to the next chapter.

>>15294751529475

Thanks :) I actually do that out of habit... Makes the story slightly more transparent me thinks... But maybe not? Have to think this one through...

>>15294831529483

Honestly it was very jarring for me and it really broke the flow of the story.

>>15291541529154 That would be the joke lol.

Interesting. Have a fav and like so that I may keep up with this.

Do not disappoint me.

Been waiting for a good dishonored crossover on fimfiction! =D

Wtf? i just thought that the outsider is discord for some reason

That's it im done.

I now have no idea how the featured bar works!

Like what's it based on? Views, likes (green to red ration), favorites? WHAT?!

PS not dissing your story at all, since i havent read it yet, but because I love dishonored I will enjoy it.

Straight up the stats are so close that it's hilarious. I feel like we ran a race and you won by the nail on your pinkie toe.

*Bows to Bloodwing.*

What kind of cookie?

You lost me when the  good aligned Corvo had absolutely no problem killing the leaders of a country he has no quarrel with. The first half of the chapter goes on for a bit too long. Yes, it establishes Corvo is dead, but it has nothing to do with the actual crossover, since he's dead and gone there.

>>15289671528967

Maybe you could watch a let's play of it...

DUDE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I'VE WANTED A FANFIC LIKE THIS.

It's gonna be so ausome cause now Corvo is even more overpowered. Sure Unicorns can teleport and sure alicorns can control heavenly bodies and sure Nightmare Moon could turn herself into mist... but have any of these ponies, alicorn or otherwise, ever STOPPED TIME ITSELF? I DON'T THINK SO!!!

To summarize my feelings for this fic:

Image: http://dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4878-d99.gif

This is interesting. Can't wait to see where it goes.

I love this, please, more.

i Have been waiting for some one to make this ever sense the game came out.

yes Yes YES I NEED MORE SOON Now would be nice

Where did this creature come from? What did it want? Why did it have no face?! For a while they were both standing still until…

You know, if you cut everything else out, you could use this for a slender man story. Great job and story idea. Glad to see someone making great use of the  Dishonored game. Let's see our favorite dishonored protector face of against a magical army of mythical creatures. Keep goin and stay golden^^

So our protagonist learns that the outsider wants to keep him around solely for entertainment. In exchange for his life, he agrees to make a new world, one that has explicitly no war, no famine, and no corruption, "interesting".

OK, my first problem is why would the outsider want to make something boring interesting when he already has something interesting he could focus on instead? It's like if I were bored by golf but loved soccer, then decided to start crashing and ruining golf tournaments because they're boring. Why? I could just play or watch soccer instead.

Second, why would the outsider send someone notable for NOT killing people when he has both the means and inclination to do so into a world to spread chaos and war and the whole 9 yards? Wouldn't that be like sending a pyromaniac to put out a fire?

Third, why would someone who has so far avoided murder, often at his own imperilment, suddenly agree to spread war and corruption to a safe and sterile society? Granted he runs the risk of fading into the void but if he's really that interesting to the Outsider why not call his bluff? If I had a video game I was really interested in I wouldn't throw it away just because I finished it, so why would the outsider throw away his new toy given all the other great things he could do other than ruin equestria?

Fourth, is war and famine and violence really interesting to the outsider? Because if it is then his favorite toy just turned another one of his worlds from a land of violence, corruption, and death into (although still very imperfect) a world of significantly less corruption, violence, sickness, and death.

Your gammar and writing skills are great, though.

>>15291801529180Cupcakes

MOAR!

I shall put too note that this story is like the others, interesting, but there some, little tiny problems. First things first, the story is well interesting, but the question I come to wonder: how did the Outsider know about Equestria and the two princesses. The writing style is good, quite out from the ordinary, but I find myself little lost with the conversation. Just noted to point out that it can be sometimes confusing on who is talking.

The plot is...well...kinda weak. Don't take it seriously or anything, I love the idea of how the assassin is going to eliminate the two princesses; and for one thing, I can think of few things in mind, hehe. However, the plot is quite weak and needs to be strengthen and it seems you are adding suspense material to make the readers drawn to your story.

Overall, I found this story quite interesting, another scenario emerged in the crossover writing in Dishonored. Though there are a slight problem that needs to be corrected, but literally, I do not mind about it. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Is good... follow.

My predictions before reading:

First off, I assume the Outsider has sent Corvo to kill Princesses Celestia and Luna, based on what would most likely destabilize Equestria the most.

Second off, the Outsider in Dishonored would probably get along quite well with Discord, assuming they are not one and the same.

Third, since you say Corvo took the "Good" ending, this implies he either did not kill anyone including his targets, or killed only when there was no other option during the course of the game. During the game, there was always a "non-lethal" option available to Corvo, and since he most likely took those options, I think he will find something similar for the Princesses as well, if those are indeed his targets.

>>15294671529467

Angel is going to throw a fit

anypony up for bunny stew?

Hahahaha! LET THE BLOOD FLOW FREELY! ON THE WALLS! ON THE FLOOR! ON THE CEILING!

If you don't write more, I will look for you, I will find you, I will come for you, and I will throw muffins at you.

I started the game yesterday.

Today I see featured crossover...

I really love this fandom, I'll read it later.

Interested.  You're abusing the poor ellipsis though, forcing it into places where it doesn't belong.

>>15316141531614

I agree, but maybe that is the outsiders ploy. He wants to see if he can break Corvo like granny rags. Remember, the good ending implies that Corvo did not kill everyone (actually I assassinated the first guy but still got the good ending, so...) , which is what originally caught the Outsiders attention. I'd say that trying to corrupt Corvo by promising him his heart's desire would be the Outsiders way of 'testing the limits of his toy'.

That's just my theory on it.

As for the other points, yeah I don't know why the Outsider picked Equestria over Dunwall. The Outsider does'not seem like the kind of entity to want to topple an entire world for his pleasure, as it seem he prefers to manipulate the world as it is, with what is in it. Hence why Corvo the human, Granny rags, and many charms, have effected the lives of those in Dunwall.

I'd be more lenient if he used, say, a pony wronged by the corrupt nobles of Canterlot, especially if it was an earth pony. It would seem more plausable than dragging one being from one world to another.

But as a note to the author, this was well written and has gained my attention. Thumbs up and a watch, can't wait for the next installment.

Dishonored MLP crossovers... why do I find you so entertaining?

Well, if Corvo uses the Brutal Kill skill, that is gonna be a shock for the guard. There gonna be like and Corvo is gonna be like

Can you feel the new day rising?

Up above the east horizon,

They can't hold us, down we'll fight through,

Each and every one will scar you.

It's pretty good so far, and I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this, but there were a few things that caught my attention:

There were so many sentences missing full stops, along with a lot of inconsistencies with the indenting, and it's quite annoying how you add a double line break between dialogue and its tags. Other than that, I thought the writing was alright.

Grammar aside, the biggest issues I had were with Corvo and the Outsider. Mainly the Outsider.

Corvo readily accepts the task of destabilising an almost perfect world without hesitation, yet he was the 'good ending Corvo'. I don't buy it.

The Outsider. Personally, I think he's a little bit too expressive in this. I don't remember the Outsider smiling once in my play throughs. Also, I think his characterization is a bit off. The Outsider is a pretty neutral guy, and never appears to choose sides. Here, he is setting himself against Equestria right of the bat. I think it would be more like him to leave Corvo to decided what to do to make the world 'more interesting', as that's what he seems to enjoy doing, just seeing how people react to situations rather than giving them specific tasks.

I'm looking forward to more.

-Sparklight

>>15304561530456

From what I know, views have more power than the like/dislike bar. As long as a story has more likes than dislikes, and was recently published, views are the important bit.

I had to replay the game after watching this and started to pretend the watchmen were ponies and killed the all

"And even tough so many stood against him" <- Error

Oh hell... I was off for my lectures of the day just to get back and see my story featured + a lot of comments, likes and such O_o

First off thank you all for reading the stuff and giving your opinions on it. You can't possibly comprehend what a shocker and pleasure it is to me...

As for some plot inaccuracies some of you noticed, let me explain a few things:

1. There is never stated in the story that Corvo has to kill anyone. He himself asked The Outsider if he has to "neutralize" the Princesses and as in the game there are many options for Corvo to choose from. Including political schemes, Coup d'état and other non-letheal.

2. The Outsider is a trickster and a being whose motives we can't exactly understand. Who's to say he didn't get bored with the Empire of Isles and wanted to observe a fate of another World turned upside down... With a little help from himself... The answer is that no one stated it before. This is simply my take on this supernatural being... Also there is nowhere stated how far does The Outsider reach... Maybe he has his limits, so he doesn't really have much Worlds to choose from?

3. The Outsider sends Corvo because the latter retained his morality (that's also stated in the story) on his earlier mission, killing ALMOST none (yeach, he of course killed some...) This piqued the interest of the being and he already knows that Corvo is capable of changing fates... It's good to send a person already experienced in this field to change the fate of yet another world. As to what's interesting to the Outsider... It's mortals... Struggling. Corruption, chaos and other negative aspects of life make the mortals struggle even more. The ponies are obviously not struggling enough for The Outsider to be amused I assumed.

4. The Outsider knows about Equestria and Princesses because... He's the Outsider... A being outside of space and time, possibly a natural element. His knowledge and limits are unknown.

5. Additionally The Outsider never stated that he wants to ruin Equestria. He wants it to become more interesting, he wants to observe it change for the better... Or for worse. Perhaps allow it to break from stagnation and develop beyond it's current limits? As it's stated in the story Equestria is in a constant stalemate, where no major changes occur and The Outsider finds that rather disappointing. It's unknown what will happen when the Princesses are neutralized... One thing remains a fact though... No one rules forever...

6. As for our trickster being more expressive and not as neutral as we remember... Well it might be so that he was actually hiding he's true colors, showing them only to those who are finally in his possession...  

We have only scrap information about the Cosmic Being from the game and that my friends gives me a field to maneuver... And maneuver I shall :P

Also... Doughnut's for all!

>>15286951528695seeing as he just told you the ending of the game, yeah i guess so...

Nice, the good ending.  That one is much more difficult considering that you only have three ways of non-lethal action.  Choke out, sleeping dart, and running away.  I can't wait to see how this all turns out.  Also, question: If it's not too revealing, when does this take place?  Like, before Chrysalis after?

Ooh this is gonna be good!!!

>>15316141531614 To tell you the truth, what do you said is exactly what I was thinking while I was reading this. The story seems interesting, but it dosent have sense whit the original background.  The writer should really think what do you are saying.

>>15336341533634

See post #52. Also I admit that obviously not everything is exactly the same as in the game. Many years have passed since the actual action of the game took place... I'm majorly basing the plot on what we DON'T know about The Outsider... And there's of course a lot we don't know about him...

>>15336661533666

But tell me. How do you plan "neutralize" the princesses whitout killing em? Is more easy to tell than do. Both of the objetives are pretty strong in their own way. Yes, Corvo have amazing things, but lets face it, he dosent face a "real" challange in his way, if you know what I mean.

He may be strong, but the kind of strength that he needs in this case is enourmus. Beat an enemy whitout doing more damage than the necessary only can be made when you surpasses by a lot, and in this case, I cannot see him a lot more powerful than them.  Let´s not even talk about both of them.

Forgive my bad english xD but that´s is what I think.

>>15336821533682

I can't tell you that... That would be reveling what I had planned for the next chapters, You'll see however that there are far more ways to get rid of a target than killing it or even physically touching it.

>>15331441533144

After the event of the Changling attack :P

>>15337021533702

I wasn’t asking you for spoilers xD I was starting a debate.

Of course there are other ways, but none of them are definitive, and if we are talking about immortal beings, and if it is not definitive then it’s meaningless, because they have all the time of the world to get rid of the problem.

Now, while I write this I got a nice idea of how to manage to do that without really make harm, like manipulating the nobles and start a scandal against the princesses and start a revolution, for example. That would make the world “interesting” and in the same time would solve the problem of “neutralize” the princesses without actually harming them.

>>15330471533047 I can deal with some spoilers here and there, i was just wondering if it was too much.

>>15337671533767

Ah, you'll just have to wait and see what path will Corvo take I guess... And if it will be definitive...

>>15338731533873

Ok, Surprise me whit your next chapters, if you can.

Tough I expect a nice story from you.

>>15329401532940

>6. As for our trickster being more expressive and not as neutral as we remember... Well it might be so that he was actually hiding he's true colors, showing them only to those who are finally in his possession...

So what it just makes the Outsider a human/whale version of Discord

the reason why the Outsider works is that he knows all the paths a person will take in life the fun being which one.  The reason why he takes a liken to a low Chaos Corvo is that he does thinks even he doesn't understand (like not killing the Empress' assassin) because he believes its human nature to kill and destroy.  

And the reason why he gives people powers is to see what they will do with it.  That's why he doesn't want to give Sokolov , as its clear what Sokolov would do with his, study and try to recreate them.

And let's be honest this story is going to go like something like this.  Corvo banishes the princesses maybe they have a spell that does it in a just in cast kind of thinks,  without the princesses they be mass chaos and maybe a civil war to fill the power gap Corvo and or the mane six fix it the mess.  And like I said above the outsider might turn out to be an avatar of Discord or something.

Therefore its boring and dull.

>>15339361533936

So what it just makes the Outsider a human/whale version of Discord

No, it makes The Outsider, The Outsider. Discord enjoys chaos, The Outsider enjoys change and struggle of the mortals, that might not necessarily mean chaos. He also doesn't plan to take over the World.

the reason why the Outsider works is that he knows all the paths a person will take in life the fun being which one.  The reason why he takes a liken to a low Chaos Corvo is that he does thinks even he doesn't understand (like not killing the Empress' assassin) because he believes its human nature to kill and destroy.  

You can't possibly know what exactly is "fun" to the Outsider, too many unknown variables. He might know the person's paths but he intervenes with their lives by giving them power and changing these paths. I believe he enjoys looking at the changes these people make to the World around them with some help from him. There are no limits to the extent of his intervention however.

And the reason why he gives people powers is to see what they will do with it.  That's why he doesn't want to give Sokolov , as its clear what Sokolov would do with his, study and try to recreate them.

No, he doesn't find Sokolov interesting, because the latter is desperately trying to find him. His possible impact on the World however is not as great as Corvo's and that might be the reason he wasn't given any powers. We can't however be sure as we simply DON'T KNOW.

And let's be honest this story is going to go like something like this.  Corvo banishes the princesses maybe they have a spell that does it in a just in cast kind of thinks,  without the princesses they be mass chaos and maybe a civil war to fill the power gap Corvo and or the mane six fix it the mess.  And like I said above the outsider might turn out to be an avatar of Discord or something.

Yeah... I don't think so.

Therefore its boring and dull.

Fortunately many disagree with you on this one. I trust they are the ones that are right.

>>15338211533821I guess not, not any major plot points I can see, so...nah, its fine

>>15340151534015

No dude that's the reason why The Outsider thinks Sokolov is somewhat interesting is that he finds it funny Sokolov thinks he can summon The Outsider.

Well  I'm not a fan of the ideal that "adding a dark element makes the story/settling better"  there needs to be a reason for it.  Without meaning the dark elements are boring and stupid.  Take Warhammer 40,000 its so grimdark that everything is pointless and the good stories are often toned down massively.  The story seems to be imply that the sole reason why Equestria is boring to the Outsider is that its not a shithole like Dunwall.  As Equestria has change alot, just much slower and not as radical  than the Isles.

Well then it is the start and stories so we'll see.  

>>15341301534130

No dude that's the reason why The Outsider thinks Sokolov is somewhat interesting is that he finds it funny Sokolov thinks he can summon The Outsider.

Hihgly subjective. I interpreted it is as I stated previously

Well  I'm not a fan of the ideal that "adding a dark element makes the story/settling better"  there needs to be a reason for it.  Without meaning the dark elements are boring and stupid.  Take Warhammer 40,000 its so grimdark that everything is pointless and the good stories are often toned down massively.

I don't believe I added the "dark" element because I thought it would be "Oh so awesome but pointless". I added the element because "Dishonored" doesn't exactly strike me as a fluffy and happy setting for a fic. Furthermore I enjoy Dark elements and I believe it was a perfect choice for developing them further

The story seems to be imply that the sole reason why Equestria is boring to the Outsider is that its not a shithole like Dunwall.  As Equestria has change alot, just much slower and not as radical  than the Isles.

I don't see how it changed a lot. 1000 years of stagnation don't exactly strike me as progress, even a slow one. But that's subjective. Dunwall doesn't exactly seem to be a shit-hole to me either, we see it during very grim times. In fact it's the capital of the Empire of Isles, it's diamond. Also I already stated that:

1. "The Outsider is a trickster and a being whose motives we can't exactly understand."

2. "You can't possibly know what exactly is "fun" to the Outsider, too many unknown variables."

3. "A being outside of space and time, possibly a natural element. His knowledge and limits are unknown."

Conclusion: There are many unknown elements here. This allows me to build up my own ideas and maneuver.

Also:

1. "Equestria is in a constant stalemate, where no major changes occur and The Outsider finds that rather disappointing"

2. "There’s no such thing as perfection... And ignorance is definitely not a part of it..."

3. "Also I admit that obviously not everything is exactly the same as in the game."

Conclusion: The Outsider wants to see the World of Equestria change because according to him it's in constant status quo that doesn't seem to be natural and strikes him as boring. There's no action to it... No zaz... As an observer he might like some action and because he interferes with the affairs of mortals anyway, why not interfere here?

i am a huge fan of dishonered just lokk at my profile picture

>>15322061532206

Shut up Dempshey! Zat is my Line!

>>15344241534424

No dude Tales of Dunwall  pretty much made it clear that Dunwall  was a shithole for a while.

Well let's see

It was founded by the union of three nation that were more or less destroyed by windigos.

The Reign of Discord

The Princesses Uprising

The Crystal Empire being enslaved and disappearing.

Luna becoming Nightmare Moon.

the Cutie Pox

Nightmare's Return

Parasprite eat two cities

Ponies of Appleloosa and Buffalos fight

Changeling Attacks Canterlot

these are just the onscreen or mention events we don't know any off screen stuff because our POV is a rather small town.

Also the fact the Celestia herself doesn't mind mixing things up (ie ruining her own Gala) as long as no one's hurt.  The Outsider seems to believe that corruption and hate is the nature of mortals and so seeing a nation that lacks probably means that to him something is wrong.

Also Celestia is in a lot of ways much like the Empress so would Corvo really do anything bad to her?

I find this very interesting and I'm a little concerned for my precious ponies. However If this is the "good" Corvo he may find himself conflicted with what he should do and what he wants to do.

If Corvo truly saw what the ponies had could he bring himself to change it? If he where to learn of the princesses benevolent nature as well as their charges (sun and moon) would he still usurp their rule knowing they have secured peace for so long? He will have to choose what is more important to him: His freedom or the peace and stability of innocents of a whole country.

It is this choice that the Outsider is interested in watching.

And who said change was a bad thing? *wink*

>>15352301535230

Change can go either ways, to the good side or the bad side.

If it is the good Corvo, then he definitely will have problems accomplishing his mission. But let´s wait and see what Bloodwing have for us.

>>15350661535066

Nein! Zis my line!

>>15354541535454

All I have left is my knife...

BUT ZAT MEANS BLOOOD!!!!

>>15354721535472

AHH STABBING!!

I so badly want to fav this story but unfortunately I just cant. I'm not trying to say it is bad or anything, its just that I prefer the evil/bad ending so much better and evil I-will-fucking-murderize-EVERYTHING Corvo that I know its going to be somewhat aggrovating to read. But truth to say your grammar, writing style and spelling is by far better than some of the fife I have read.

I love your name.  Anyways, great story, and if you need a beta-er, just ask.

well this is looking to be awesome. I'd hate to see what kind of 'non-lethal' option corvo could come up with for the princesses given his track record in the game.

ooooo this is really good so far.

>>15286951528695 as far as I can see, no. In dishonored there's not many secrets that are easy to find anyways. The main plot, although a bit predictable for me, is good.

He just MURDERED FLUTTERSHY!!!!!!! Quick! Rip off his face!!!

From a mile away i could tell I was going to like this story, Please, If you dont want me going insane, make more.

>>15371281537128

Well, I don't know if you've played Dishonored or not, but he technically possessed her, not murdered her, She's still alive lol.

>>15351671535167

No dude Tales of Dunwall  pretty much made it clear that Dunwall  was a shithole for a while.

Indeed, it WAS. Many years have passed since it was in such state. Logic dictates that a city that is additionally a Capital would be quickly repaired and restored to its former glory.

It was founded by the union of three nation that were more or less destroyed by windigos.

The Reign of Discord

The Princesses Uprising

The Crystal Empire being enslaved and disappearing.

Luna becoming Nightmare Moon.

the Cutie Pox

Nightmare's Return

Parasprite eat two cities

Ponies of Appleloosa and Buffalos fight

Changeling Attacks Canterlot

First 3 obviously happened over 1000 years ago and are hypothetical. The fourth also happened 1000 years ago and we're speaking about the current stagnation that takes place through those 1000 years, as I said before. The rest are mostly local without any real influence on the World and didn't introduce any permanent changes. The attack of the Changlings might be the only thing worth being considered by the Outsider as interesting. But because we (as I sad a few times already) don't have hard facts on him I assumed that it wasn't something that changed the World enough, because in fact the final outcome was the same as the rest of the events in Equestria... No change...

Also the fact the Celestia herself doesn't mind mixing things up (ie ruining her own Gala) as long as no one's hurt.  The Outsider seems to believe that corruption and hate is the nature of mortals and so seeing a nation that lacks probably means that to him something is wrong.

Also Celestia is in a lot of ways much like the Empress so would Corvo really do anything bad to her?

Yes, that's what I want you to do! To have doubts, to ask yourself questions, not to have straight answers. I want you to consider the possibilities and outcomes! I'm trying to do that through personalized narration and free indirect speech. Similar was used in Boleslav's Prus novel "The Doll".

>>15371281537128

Errr...  No...

What he said:

>>15379881537988

--------

Oooh... That's where the dislikes are coming from then... I was wondering where's the hate coming from. Damn, people need to learn how to read comprehensibly --'

Hmm...

The ideas? Wonderful.

The characters? As they were in their respective universes (minus the Heart for obvious reasons).

The execution of the story? Eh...

It could certainly use some polish. Maybe a pre-reader or two, which I'm sure will be easy to find. Other things like, for example, the way one does thoughts in fanfiction.

It's much more common and acceptable to use both italics and just one apostrophe ( ' ).

“They even have faces…”

Corvo thought

Would be:

'They even have faces…' Corvo thought.

Makes it easier to differentiate a spoken line to a thought or remark.

Aside from those quite minor issues, the story could also use some commas. There were quite a lot run-on sentences.

All his doubts were however dispersed as he heard the Pegasus say something in an unknown to Attano language, possibly speaking to the animals.

Would be:

All his doubts were, however, dispersed as he heard the Pegasus say something in an incredibly different language to Attano's, possibly to the animals.

All in all, nothing a good editor can't fix.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

>>15388551538855

Thanks for the constructive criticism. I'll be repairing the minor issues soon. Also have to think this editor idea through :P Never had one.

I wonder what powers he upgraded the most, likely the ones that involve sight health and stealth i'm guessing...

An amazing beginning, I am looking forward to where this story goes.

update soon please, i wish to read more

>>15385861538586

You really haven't been paying attention to who runs Dunwall have you?  Most (ie not the empress) only care about how Dunwall looks on the outside the poor can just lay down and die.  

Also good to heard  I was afraided you were missing the point of a low chaos run, its more than just not killing people (you can still get high chaos without killing anyone) its that you make sure and prevent Dunwall form tearing itself apart form riots and only getting rid of the people who ruined it.

>>15396051539605

I'm not gonna repeat myself over and over again. It's stated in the story that after what Corvo did, the Empire (and so Dunwall) entered a golden era. This means that Empress's Emliy power increased, many changes have been introduced, possibly even social security. There is a huge time gap between the game and the action in this story, that's why Dunwall is no longer the same place you remember from the game... Period...

>>15396881539688

I think we might be confused to who's talking about what...

I totally agree with the author, the outsider is an unknown wildcard.  He's a perfect plot device because you can have him say or do just about anything and it's ok.  The story really isn't about the outsider anyway, it's about a good Corvo being forced to do something dirty for a good cause.  I eagerly await the resolution of this internal conflict in Corvo.

>>15405771540577

So try to be more precise in your statements. I replied to all you had your doubts about, proving to you that all of them are highly subjective and not hard FACTS. You use arguments that are subject to change over time. And time indeed has passed. That is why I can change quite a few things for the sake of the story and manipulate with some elements, fulfilling an idea I had. As far as I'm concerned the topic is closed. If you still feel confused read my previous posts again and try to do it more comprehensibly.

Bloodwing Out

>>15406781540678

*Brohoof*

Eh ! what an interesting story ! i don't have much to say further on the story in itself aside than maybe one time i didn't understood who was talking at the moment (the boring scene with the outsider), keep it up ! *watch*

PS: the moment when corvo must make a choice between "die" and "live" had just let me remembered me the end scene from HL  when the G-Man offer two options at Gordon Freeman (even if it's not surprising because the G-Man and The Outsider have a lot in common)

>>15406781540678

Eh, I wouldn't exactly say a "good cause" the Outsider is asking him to destroy an entire world of harmony and peace just so he can go back and live again with Emily. Personally, I think the good Corvo would do the right thing and tell the outside to go Buck himself, but I guess we will see how the author plays this out, writing is good, pacing is alright, so far it's looking like a better than average fic. Only thing I'm having a hard time adjusting to is the fact Corvo is talking, since he has no voice in game, just makes it a bit weird, but it's easy to look past and work with. So far, very good fic, want more please.

>>15434551543455

Actually... Corvo was talking, just like the Lone Wanderer or The Courier in Fallout. He just doesn't have any voice given. But when he talks with someone you have dialogue options :P

Very nice story indeed. I can not wait for more.