Chapter 1
“Gather round all the ponies!” Whispered Roseluck. “And I will tell you the most scary combined stories of nightmare night to exist!” Then she told them while eating a marshed mellow.
“That is freaking it you ponys are not being the help i desire at this exact moment of frustrating pressure. Controlling my mind with numbing enthusiasm!” Prince Martin Willis was feeling it hard because his wife twilight had called the princesses over for a secret love party without him and they didnt even let him know so that he could at least be there with his bud spike to watch in secret. While high fiving and scoring the sun with their intense frolicking wistful stares of empty vacant and slithering nature. He ran away to go get consoled by Granny Smith at the farm of Applejack. Hating the fact with a fury that drove his hands deep into his pony pockets and he flew his mane into the wind and let it suckle against the breeze like a bee feeding off of the angry graves of horned and shivering catacombed sugar.
Suddenly things got horrible and Nightmare Moon turned evil again because it was nightmare night! She opened her eyes and all that was to be seen was a black like nature filled with silent grief. Which tormented her mind into a slobbery pleasure and she elifted all the boobs of her upwards in distrust to smack at each other with slippery bangs and a roaring course anti element. “RUN DUDES BECAUSE THE NIGHT HAS MADE ME EVIL!” she kicked Celest in the plot and then kissed twilight on the neck before karate chopping her right on the girl parts and groping her eyelashes and her mane and her sexy chipped tail.
Celest screamed. “My student.” She cried and scratched her back with absinthe and her hoof dug deep against her skin with a rush that maded her sigh with pleasurable discourse. “effing get the eff out of here before she kills you!” then she flew away to the castle to go hide till nightmare night was over and her sister was sexy and lovable again.
Twilight screamed but it was too late. Nightmare moon gripped her throat and made the love to her as an evil pony. Rubbing her giant boobs all across the nose holes and ear holes of twilight she licked the mare tenderly on the mane and sucked the tears out of her eyes with tender passion and a scary shout of haha!
"No because you are evil." yelled twilight rubbign the plot of nightmare moon and sighing and arising from terrible forgotten plain of deep and perventing pleasure. "I effing dislike you so much right now!" she tried to cast a spell from the book of magics but nothing happened because she not in time the casting spell did zap across before it settled.
Then she ate twilight sparkle in a saddening gulpgasm. “DUDE I AM SO SORRY!” She cried but her evil side took over and made her laugh at the horror of it and Prince Martin Willis did not to find out about the horror that presided in the house of his wife twilight and Spike his best effing friend and the drug hugging owl because he was depressed at the fight they had and with much stomping ran away to Granny Smith.
Only it was the apple farm that had it the worse. “Yall dont come over its horrible!” Screamed Applejack crying and sipping the cider. “Howdy Prince Martin Willis.” It was so horrible martin williss eyes shot out and he raised his head in anguish letting loose a scream that fouled the night of candy and the fillies would forever be lost in the moans that twitched from his edged lips. “the apples are red.” He felt his stomach roll into twists as he watched the horrible prank that had wrenched Applejack into the horrible natural color spike had switched the apples for her. It was a mean nightmare night prank. They cowered in boohooing and made pity love and he rubbed her hairbands across his place and licked her inside her hoof grooves and. She kissed him with a sigh on the nose and rubbed his ear and chest with her hooves. They orgasmed and she sipped the cider. “Martin get all the effing apples yall.” they bucked every apple carefully shaking the trees to the core causing them to spew apples with perfected error and symbalistic presision into the buckets laid plain before them. she gathered them in a vat and made them into flaming applesauce with a campfire. “Ponyhowdy yall must make the love with me in the applesauce or the new apples will not be blue again spike told me.” so they jumped in and he snorted the apple into his lips spitting it against her armpits and the jelly pony joined in and they nibbled on each others fur biting softly each others soaking manes. And Prince Martin Willis licked the eyes and inside the nose and ears of Applejack rubbing her boobs and squishing the apple sauce everywhere they groupgasmed. The new apples would be blue but that would not be till the next harvest this year was deeply and with much shaking and crying and flinging of sauce and rubbing of hands ruined beyond like the trees when thrown in the lake and gnawed by misguidied beavers of bad.
Angle bunny was stoked because he had finally got the love request on this night of sickly deturing and violently sluggish evening of costumed nightmares that black out even the moon with misdeed and horror. Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “You can make um love to me um only this once because um it is a um special day angel.” She let him hug her plot and she tongue kissed him. “um but only just um this once.” then they made love and angel began to squeak and gleeful achieving power at finally being the utter boss of her. Except nightmare moon burst in before angel bunny could bunny speak he was ahaving trouble! Nightmare Moon neighed and her eyes gleamed with a light that sent beams of misguided moonlight into angels face and he passed out. But it wasnt nightmare moon and laughing and turning half nightmare moon part of chrysalis and part angel bunny. it was the changer Crystalis! “YOU HAVE STOLE THE LOVE OF ME!” Fluttershy sniffed sucking all the feelings back into her head.
Suddenly spike was walking away from work and being mad at rarity at their fashion house because she kicked him out beasuse he refused to trick or treat with the cute crusader Sweetie Belle as a dragon of fierce magnitude with flames that circled his body in vehement squares while she slayed him as a night. When because of the bad nightmare night curse DISCORD SHOWED Up!
“Spike you think you can effing defeat me and my guts with Willis but even still cross eyed I will steal the love of your life and she will fashion sigh for me alone.”
“Shut the eff up you stupid ugliest beast that ever flied!” he eyed the discord who laughed and rubbed his chin across his scaled body and spike bit his lip and flicked his tongue in and out while vibrating his scales to twisting in thin languished lines. “Only I am not only the better dragon even only though I am part to be. But I will dance beat you for her!”
"Fine then effing chaos is my thing anyway yo!" Screamed discord starting to dance! He began to twist and circle while blowing flames and spike did it too and they had a dance off of love but it would last forever until tomorrow because they were saddenly equal good.
Suddenly back at the house of fluttershy chrysalis Nightmare Moon was teasing Fluttershy about knocking out her loving bunny. “I will steal youlove when I change into him.” she laughed and yawned. “Only you will never know.” Fluttershy shook her head and she smiled with such intent that even the flowers wilted. And their petals folded into dust. “But you didnt um count on this um one fact you um hole pony… i am not um in love with um the bunny!” then she smacked crystalis in the eye part of the face. “only as a um pet but not um in the sexy um way only tonight um because it is um a treat for um being good um!” And she sunk her mane of nine thousand yards and circling perfected pink destruction of sexy and lickable hair deep into the disturbed un pony hole horses throat and body holes. “Um you can effing um die!” she ripped her hoof out and chrysalis miced with Nightmare Moon fell deeply with much ughing and screeches. That floated enchantingly in a senseless and befitted pile across the floor. “and when you um wake up if um you ever do” she nodded and kicked the air with her pink mane . “um you will be um fed to the um beasts of my um cottage tree house.” then she made killing love to her till they both orgasmed and she purified the evil out of Nightmare Moon and she became good again and rid of the parasite bad pony Cyrstalis. Angle awoke suddenly and was so turned on but at the same time dejected because he was unloved in the way that was desirable to his fashion.
Suddenly the night ended and since she was purified before the nightmare night ended everything went back to normal because she was killed without being dead in that way and Martin Willis made it in time the next day to watch everyone make love with his best effing friend Spike.
Roseluck petted the flowers and seeing everypony terrified to sleep blew out the campfire and went to bed in the house.
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The title is the best review of this fic ever.
dl.dropbox.com/u/93510029/reaction/my-sides.jpg
*This is me trolling myself by covering up what I said previously, and laughing my ass off my none existent accomplishment.*
1494312
Probablly because you're a bit addicted to trainwrecking. You want to look away. It's just that, for some reason, you can't…
1494425
Who said that we have to abide by a motto? This is a fandom, not a political party. I don't want to restrict myself or anyone else from their own opinion just because some low self-esteemed author doesn't get the false praise he/she wishes they could get by producing something that clearly needs work and time.
1494425
Dude, I have nothing but respect for Apple Short. He's written a lot of fics that have been near universally panned for their horrible grammar, plotting, punctuation, and everything else. Yet despite the near total disapproval of the community at large towards the work he produces, he still gets back up after each hammering and goes at it again. No matter what else is said about him, Apple Short has a level of determined moxie that is lacking even in most well regarded authors.
…He just can't seem to write to save his life.
1494486 I agree with you, completely. Okay maybe no completely. Around the parts where ya say we don't have to follow love and tolerance. I don't seem to care as much as I made myself seem to be. That's obviously my mistake teehee. So to reinstate what I said. "I don't really give a fuck whether you are good at bad at writing, here's just hoping someone or something will slap you in the face and make you see that you're not good at this, and should get lessons, or try something else." Though I do say, fanfiction authors is a tough profession. .....Anyways have a nice day....sorry for making myself seemingly give a different meaning then I actually have.
1494692 Is it wrong to say I love you? I mean, I find everything you wrote here so true that it is completely hilarious. Good on ya mate, and encase ya need to know, well I dough you NEED to know but whatever. I kinda meant quite less then what I said, *facepalms at owns stupidity* I just think. People over do it sometimes. Though the judgement is well placed. Just overreacted.
-Starts reading
-Prince Martin Willis
-Checks author
Oh, Apple Short. We meet again. I was starting to miss you, actually.
Well, I'm short on time, so I'll be brief. You have a wall of text, your characters are out-of-character, the plot is confusing, and your mechanics need a serious tune-up - not that that's news at this point. Also, what's your obsession with pony boobs? You always make particular mention of them.
On the bright side, you got the title right. That's improvement!
Cheers!
I'm really hoping this isn't meant for Equestria Daily's Horror Contest.
I've offered to help you edit before, and I'll offer again. You have a lot of ideas, short, and that's great! But you need to learn execution. As much as I hate to say it, your spelling and grammar are simply awful. Same goes for your sentence structure. You're trying, and failing to make your text look formidable. Don't do that. At this stage, just write like you speak. No pressure.
...Unless, of course, this is the way you speak. In which case... may God help us all. I'm still thinking that all of your text might just be a Latin to English translation.
1494312
Oh... my.... GOD!
You're the author of Sun and Stars!
I LOVE that story, it's the 5th of my favorites.
You're the one who inspired me to write my stories!
Anyways, looks interesting, will read later.
1494312 Lol people think your story is good Sparky haha. Look at the previous comment. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
i.imgur.com/4ECyj.jpg
Go on. It's like poetry. Really artsy poetry.
Edit:
i.imgur.com/aJLrd.png
Edit2:
I have to admire you, apple short, and it's a wierd feeling. I would just like to-
Would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a mule
-say that the TWE are incoming because there's something to salvage here. Your bizarre similies show that.
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7693-133565010814.gif
See, this is what I love about Apple Short. He's not merely bad. Bad is boring. Anyone can put out a half-assed OC Gary Stu Alicorn HiE Uses the Mane 6 for a Harem story. Apple Short is Bad Cubed. No, a Badness Tessaract, writing for dimensions that are not our own. Only he can put out a tale so utterly atrocious yet eloquently incoherent that the motion of hair is likened to a swarm of sucking bees eating the graves of vengeful devil sugar.
I laugh more at these than at many pieces actually intended to be comedy, to say nothing of the comment threads that pop up around his tales, and here I'm thinking particularly of PeaceColt112's total meltdown in Comment #47 on Changing the ColorOf Apples.
--CEO Kasen
Ah...it has been a while, Señor Appleshort. I think I've finally gotten over the fact that your stories are terrible. Why? Because you are the one person who can actually manage make me laugh out loud when I stare at a steaming pile of horse dung. You have my respect...and my pity.
And hey, you capitalized the title and you almost got all the description right too! That's...actually not worth anything. Sorry. Good job?
I must, in this moment, speak to the brilliance of Apple Short. There is something very worthy and honest in what he does. It is almost zen-like in it's horribleness and in each piece there is an earnest purity the like of which one rarely finds in even the most accomplished authors.
The utter lack of self-awareness combines with an almost mechanical disregard for language to create a surrealist microcosm of literary malfunction which is so fantastic and unique that I can only compare it to the greatest works of Dali and Bosch. At the core of every word Apple Short writes is a truth I think we could all do to take a moment out of our day and consider.
We all suck at something.
I am a poor musician. Couldn't hold a tune to save my life. That I am not a musician is by kind virtue of a lack of spine and motivation. I have recognized that I will never be even adequate to the art form of putting notes to paper nor fingers to strings. Apple Short displays both spine and motivation so overwhelming that I would lay his will against the great generals of ancient times in their most tenacious defenses but lacks the apprehension of his own inadequacy. His sense of composure in the face of total annihilation is immeasurable. `
Wherewith his vast ignorance he strips words of meaning, sentences of structure, and characters of form, he composes a sort of poetic netherworld so dense and dispossessed of reason that I find myself humbled. The gormless mess of his presentation should be inspiration and warning to any beast or man who dares tread the writer's craft. It must be preserved!
Throw him roses! His heartfelt entreaties for love must be answered else we might lose this precious creature and the reminder he represents!
-Chessie
1494424 <--- This
that cracked me up but at the same time made me sigh...
I... I'm upvoting this. I'm just laughing too hard not to.
1496569 I have that beaut of a comment saved in a word documemt
mindbodyself.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/sarcastic-cat.jpg?w=499
Trollfic, right?
I've gotten to the point where I don't know if you are a troll or not.
1494312 Lol! =)
jakass
1783209 Add a 'c'. Aren't you too young to be swearing?
My fucking brain hurts