Everypony Hates Spike

by Pony-Berserker

And I could cross her off the list

I found one name that could be, without a doubt, described as ‘cool’. Is there anypony ‘cooler’ than Rainbow Dash?

For some unknown reason, I had forgot to cross Rainbow Dash off the list. I mean, I didn’t want to date any of my close friend because I had already failed to successfully date Rarity and Fluttershy, while Pinkie Pie had subtly suggested she was not interested.

But why had I forgot about Rainbow Dash? If I think of this now, it could be the matter of the way I see her. I’d like to put it delicate but... Um, I just don’t see Rainbow Dash as a ‘girl’. I mean, I know she is a girl but she isn’t the best example of one, right?

No, I mean, it’s nothing wrong with her look but, um, she’s, err, more manly than most stallions in Ponyville, right?

But she was an adult mare and she figured on my list. I knew I would have to date her sooner or later, so I decided to date her sooner. It could be funny, I thought.

I spotted Rainbow sleep on a cloud not really high in the air. This date was going to be tricky, though. Y’know, because if I were direct, she’d probably die from laguhter. Or maybe she’d kick me harder than Applejack kicks a tree?

So I decided to be as cryptic as possible.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” I shouted, waking her up.

“Oh, what’s up, Spike?” she answered, fortunately not angry at me.

“Wanna go eat some muffins, maybe?” I asked uncertainly. I was slightly trembling, being afraid of Rainbow Dash’s reaction.

“Meh. No, thanks. I’m not really hungry,” she answered and then yawned. “See you later, Spike.” She waved at me from the cloud, finding more comfortable position to continue her nap.

Just ‘no’? That was weird. I knew that Rainbow Dash wouldn’t go for a date but refusing a free muffin? Impossible!

“Um, I’m gonna pay for them!” I ensured that she got my point, covering my face in fear.

Rainbow Dash gave me a puzzled look from the cloud. She hesitated for a moment and then flew down. She was hovering in the air in front of me, gazing at me and frowning. “What are you up to, Spike?” she asked with distrust.

I hoped that my shivering wasn’t noticeable. I gave out some unidentified voices and then finally stammered: “J-just in-inviting you to a m-muffin. Friends do that, right?”

She continued staring at me for a while and then drawled out: “F-fine. Let’s go.”

I smiled nervously at her and began slowly walking towards the Sugar Cube Corner. Rainbow Dash was slowly flying behind me. That definitely didn’t look like a couple going on a date.

“Rainbow, could you, um, could you just walk, please? I feel weird when you fly this way over my head.” That wasn’t a lie. I really felt awkward having a pegasus throwing its shadow on my back.

“Say what? Meh,” she mumbled and landed on the ground. “If it weren’t for the free muffin...”

Looking at Rainbow Dash, one could say she seemed to be very angry. Probably at me. Probably for waking her up and making her walk.

After a short walk in an awkward silence, we entered the Sugar Cube Corner.

“I wanna the rainbow muffin,” she murmured and then sat at a table.

The rainbow muffins are the muffins with seven different flavors. They are not as tasty as those containing gems, though.

I sighed loudly, drawing attention of nearby customers, and ordered two rainbow muffins. I needed it to send Rainbow a subliminal message that I like rainbows. You know what I mean.

I sat at the table Rainbow was sitting at. “Well, where’s my muffin?” she asked impatiently. I passed her the pastry. Her frown deepend as she saw my muffin. “Hey, have you bought a rainbow muffin too? I thought you eat the gemstone muffins that the Cakes prepare for you every day. They make it only for you. Nopony else eat gemstones in Ponyville!” Rainbow gave ma a suspicious look.

I laughed nervously at this. Well, I seemed to forget I was the only dragon in Ponyville. “I just like... Rainbows.” I smiled sheepishly, hoping that Rainbow would buy the answer.

“Fine...” She answered, still frowning.

We ate our muffins in an awkward silence. That was a weird date, indeed. After she’d finished, she slurred “Thanks!” and then dashed away, leaving me alone in the store.

I enjoyed this little rendez-vous. Actually, I felt happy for the first time since... since Rarity kissed me on the cheek after this incident with me rampaging around in the town.

I entered the library, singing some cheesy song.

“Where have you been, Spike?” Twilight greeted me. “On a date, I guess?”

“Yep! I’ve been on a date!” I answered proudly.

“So... Who was your date?” Twilight nudged me, smiling.

“Rainbow Dash!” I said, emanating with my proud.

Twilight looked abashed. “Say what?”

“Yep. I ate muffins with the coolest mare in the town. And you know what? I think this is promising. I’m gonna invite her for the Wonderbolts’ Derby next week in Canterlot. I’m sure Princess Celestia will help me get two tickets.” I was getting more and more excited every second. I began to imagine my future dates with Rainbow. Strangely, I didn’t care about her look, even though she wasn’t even half as beautiful as Rarity.

With my head in the clouds, I went to the other room, thinking about Rainbow and not knowing what to do. I was enchanted.

A few minutes later, somepony visited Twilight. I overheard it was Rainbow Dash. Oh my gosh, Rainbow came to visit ME, I thought.

“Hey, Rainbow! Spike said you and him were on a date. I’m so happy he found a nice mare. I’m even more happy it’s you!” Twilight said, oblivious to possible effects that these words could cause.

Then, realization struck me. Rainbow Dash wasn’t supposed to know we were actually dating! I began searching for a good shelter.

“He said WHAT!?” Rainbow Dash shouted angrily. Then I knew I was busted.

She stormed into the room. “Where are you, you mischievious lizard!?” she growled and then spotted me as I was staring blankly at her.

Rainbow dashed towards me and before I could react, I was flying towards the wall, pain caused by hooves hitting my chest spreading through my body. I would surely have landed in hospital again, if Twilight hadn’t caught me with her magical aura.

“What are you doing, Rainbow Dash!?” she shouted.

“HE TRICKED ME INTO A DATE!” she yelled. Thankfully, Twilight encased her in a magical sphere, so Rainbow couldn’t do more harm to me.

“So what!?” Twilight inquired. That was her ‘mama bear’ moment. I was so proud of her.

“Yeah, I paid for the muffin...” I mumbled.

“So what!? So what!? Soarin’ was supposed to be my first date, not him! That’s what!” Rainbow explained, leering at me.

“Oh,...” Twilight looked pretty abashed by Rainbow’s confession. “That was your first date?”

Rainbow Dash began her rant: “Do I look like a mare...”

“Kinda...” I said instinctivly. Only Twilight’s aura saved me from a severe injury.

Rainbow groaned and resumed her rant: “Do I look like a mare that can’t keep away from stallions?”

Twilight laughed nervously. “Well...”

“No! The answer is no! No stallion has ever asked me out. Are you happy now?” Rainbow was furious. “And let me out of this ball!”

Twilight released the pegasus but put a barrier around me.

“Rainbow, nothing really bad happened. You ate something with Spike, that’s all. It was his first date, too. Besides, if you don’t change your attitude, I doubt that Soarin’ or anypony will ask you out,” Twilight gave her friend a reproachful speech.

Rainbow rubbed her mane, laughing ashamedly. She understood that she had over-reacted. “You know, um, I think you might be right.” She walked up to me. “Sorry, Spike. I didn’t mean to...”

“It’s alright. I have thick scales. No pain, um, really,” I lied.

“I’ll be going,” Rainbow said, “I think I should finally wash my tail.” She sniffed it and grimaced. “Yep. See you later, guys.” She quickly flew out the window. Twilight could finally remove the barrier surrounding me.

But instead, she tightened it up. “Have you gone mad, Spike!?” she yelled at me. What followed it was the longest rant I had ever heard from Twilight. You have to forgive me but I can’t really recall it now.

“You are grounded, mister!” she shouted finally, panting.

Grounded? That was something new. “You are not my mother,” I replied.

“Actually, I am your stepmother. I’m responsible for you. No more dates until, until, forever!” she proclaimed firmly.

“You can’t ground me forever. That’s way too long,” I retorted, folding my hands.

“Just no more dates for... a month,” she said and then turn around to leave the room.

A month or a year was no difference to me. I was not going to listen anyway. I ran to the basement, where I kept my list, and crossed Rainbow out of it.

Three’s a charm, I thought and began searching for another ‘cool’ mare.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Comments

[Pony-Berserker]

Another chapter!

Yep guys, some of you guessed correctly!

And as usual: Let me know what you think of the story in the comments

[Leather]

This is Twilights fault, not spikes.

[Path_of_cloud]

That's right Spike, fight the power! Rage against the machine! Defy Twilight!

[Arby]

arnbo pls

*ahem* While I do prefer Lesbian Dash, this was nice too.

[OmniFox]

Rainbow's first date with a DRAGON not a stallion.

[MasterSpike]

He really should stop looking for cool looking names. 9 out of 10 times, they will happen to swing the other way. If he's lucky, at least one mare will swing both ways.

[Firefan645]

Another cool mare? ....... Hmmmm, first it was Lyra, then RD, now looking for amother "cool" mare......... It's Scoots, isn't it? Unless fillies aren't on the list, then it would possibly be........ I don't really know. The only other mare I can think of is Spitfire, and that is a HUGE doubt. Sooo, Scootaloo is my safe bet! And I'm scared for the Derpy date.......

[Racko]

I can envision it now: DerpySpike

My guess for next pairing: Vinyl Scratch!

[Kiryu]

To be honest, Twilight being angry at Spike really doesn't make any sense. She put RD's name on it, so this means the potential was open.
All he did was eat a muffin with her. If she was so against him dating RD, why not be against him trying to dating Rarity. It's not like Spike knew this was RD's first date and her reaction was really mean. Also, how is grounding Spike for doing this even fair? She was the one who suggested this and now she's angry at him for doing what she says?
Twilight... you don't make sense.

[Pony-Berserker]

1486188

no.
And you didn't have to write three sentences in three comments...

1486034

She is angry at him because he TRICKED R.D. That's why he got grounded. She overreacted a bit, though.

[Kiryu]

1487050
Ah but he didn't trick her really; he was just being shy and with RB being the crude and somewhat heartless mare she is at that moment (seriously, I wanted to slap her) I don't think he dared to tell her out of fear of being hurt (as she did later on anyway).
So yeah, Spike should get a break really.