Everypony Hates Spike

by Pony-Berserker

How it began

Hi, I’m Spike. I’m a dragon and I work at Ponyville Library where I’m a, let’s call it by the name, servant of a pony named Twilight Sparkle, who happens to be my stepmother and the best friend as well. But that’s not really important at this time. Now, you might be probably wondering why I am being chased by a mob of really angry mares. Well, rest assured, there is a perfectly logical explanation.

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Everything started a few days ago. After I’d done some cleaning and other usual stuff I need to do as a servant, I decided to spend my free time thinking about my crush, Rarity, who is the most beautiful and most talented unicorn in Equestria. You see, she got her cutie mark in jewelfinding but her another talent is making dresses. Do you know any other ponies with TWO talents? Even Celestia has only one talent – raising the sun it is!

That day I was walking around one of the library rooms. I tried to focus my eyes on books. It was helping me to clear my mind. Suddenly, one book caught my attention. It was an old, dusty book I would have never noticed but my intuition made me to check it out. The book turned out to be about history of fashion in Equestria. “That would be something to impress Rarity with!”, I thought about studying the tome. But there was a chapter that seemed more interesting than the others. Its title was: ‘What to wear to impress a mare – historical analysis’. That was something for me, I thought. I read the whole chapter looking for tips on getting a costume that would make me look better. The book was a bit dull but very informative. The last page clearly stated that tight pants, a brown stetson and a loose black leather jacket is a perfect magnet for mares.

So I followed the advice from the book. I admit it wasn’t easy to find the desired things but I got some of them on a flea market.

Too bad those were made for a stallion not a little dragon. To make the matter worse, I couldn’t just go to Rarity and ask her to change their size. She wouldn’t be impressed then. I planned to pass by her somewhere in the town and make her say “Oh, Spike! You look great!” or something like that.

I couldn’t have asked Rarity for help but fortunately, there was Fluttershy, whose extraordinary knowledge about sewing made her somepony who could solve my problem. I easily made her into helping me. She might have been taking lessons from Iron Will but she isn’t really assertive now anymore. Looks like she forgot about him and his tips.

But don’t think that I was mean to her and I used her instrumentally. I just asked her and she agreed. Just like that. Besides, I had to clean the chicken coop for her while she was sewing...

So I was suited up. In a way of course. When I saw myself in the mirror, I couldn’t tell if I look awful or funny. The ponies in Ponyville didn’t help me figure this out as they were gazing at me blankly whenever I appeared in my new set of clothes.

At that moment it seemed to me that my look was simply breathtaking. I should have asked Twilight for the opinion – she’s a mare after all. But instead, I went all confident to Rarity’s boutique. How do you think she reacted?

“Spikey, darling! Where did you get these old and unfashionable clothes!?” she asked worriedly with her usual dramatic tone of voice, which, on a side note, is beautiful.

Fortunately, she didn’t mock my costume. She only forced me to model for her while she prepared me some ‘new and divine set of clothes’. I loved Rarity but hated the new clothes. She sewed me a real suit – a purple one. “You are looking simply magnificent, Spikey!” she was amazed by her own work. “If there were more dragons in Ponyville, they’d surely LOVE to wear that suit!”

The problem with the advice in the book was that it had been written about 50 years earlier. No wonder the clothes were out of date and my plan went wrong. Again.

That wasn’t a nice experience but I spent some time with Rarity, at least. Unluckily, she wasn’t in mood for even a small talk. She just hushed me and continued her work. These were long hours.

“I don’t get it! I’ve already done everything to impress Rarity! And she doesn’t get a clue what I feel for her!” When I got back home, I made Twilight listen to my life problems. “She just thinks I’m a little kid or something!”

“You are a little kid, Spike.” Twilight probably thought it’d be better to tell me the truth instead of giving me the false hope.

But I needed the false hope!

“Spike, I can’t really help you with that. What could I do? Go to Rarity and convince her to date you or what?” She was right. She could do nothing to help me.

I sighed and went for a walk. I was really heart-sick and didn’t even bother to hide that fact.

“Spike, why so sad!?” Pinkie shouted at me, almost giving me a hear tattack.

“In the name of Celestia, Pinkie! I told you that like a million times! Don’t do that!” I was angry now. Well, maybe rather frustrated and wanted to relieve myself. Shouting doesn’t help a lot but I felt better indeed.

The pink pony just giggled. “Oh, Spikey. I see a little anger inside this big head. C’mon! Tell me what bothers you and maybe auntie Pinkie can help!” She was jumping around me in her typical annoying manner. I didn’t really want to confess but I was getting dizzy from Pinkie jumping around me. I thought it’d be better to tell her everything, listen to her and continue my walk without her around.

“You remember when I told you I have a crush on Rarity?” I asked her.

“Sure! It’s a secret! I Pinkie promised!” she exclaimed and touched her eye with a hoof. Seriously. It gave me shivers. She put a dirty hoof into her eye. Ugh!

After I’d stopped thinking about dirt in Pinkie’s eye, I explained to her that Rarity seemed to ignore me and I had little chances with her. Pinkie looked puzzled. I wondered if she understood what I meant.

“Oh, silly. If one mare rejects you, find another one! There are more mares than stallions in Equestria. You’ll surely find one that likes dragons! Or is desperate for a partner that she will accept one!” She pat me on the head and jumped away.

After giving it some thought, I realized that Pinkie was actually right. A lot of time passed since I had fell in love with the most beautiful, the mos... um, with Rarity. But I couldn’t possibly pass the friend-zone. Or even change our good aunt-small kid relations into something less infantile.

Thanks to Pinkie, I decided that I need to change something in my love life.

I was going to find another mare to think about during nights. Another mare that could be my sense of life.

But how? I had no idea, really. But I knew there was only one pony who could help.

TO BE CONTINUED

Comments

[MLP BRONY 27]

Epic!

[Leather]

A few grammatical errors here and there, but promising. I hope to see this bloom.

[Sanddog]

Silly but fun. I'd love to see more of it.
Some grammar errors but nothing to really worry about. Keep it up.javascript:smilie('');

[Regidar]

Everypony's so mean to Spike.

[Swashbucklist]

Well, I'm glad to see this is just a lighthearted comedy instead of a genuine Spikeabuse fanfic. Let's see where it goes.

[Firefan645]

.......... It was a good chapter, but it only made half of me say MOAR and the other half say MOAR IN CHAPTER! I like it, but i got a slight headache arguing with myself.

[Path_of_cloud]

I'm guessing English isn't your first language, huh? It's not bad by any means and it is quite promising, but at the same time,it sounds really unnatural at parts. You could also do with a little cutting back on unnecessary or repeat information. As I said though, it's quite interesting, but I suggest finding a editor or proofreader to polish it up.

[Pinkamena777]

everbody hates chris

[Deyeaz]

Inb4 featured. This story has some SERIOUS promise. Keep it up, mate!

[Pony-Berserker]

Thanks for all your comments!

1457982
My editor works on cleaning my another story now

[PieDisliker]

Besides the 'Hear tattack" this was a pretty awesome chapter. Never thought I'd see the day where Spike starts crushing on another mare. Oh boy, this should be good.

[MasterSpike]

Oh man,

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4y57huW8c1rx84jvo3_r1_400.gif

[Path_of_cloud]

1458657 Based on the start of the chapter, I don't think it ends well.

[Path_of_cloud]

1458644 Find another, I have 3 or so. Also, my other story.

[HylianJuggalo]

I like where this is going. Not too slow to pick up, and aside from a few grammatical errors, is really well written. On top of that, there's not a lot of Spkefics, so I'll give this one a go.

[ImRaidAccount]

This not going to end well

[Smurf]

this is a train wreck waiting to happen...
LETS WATCH!

[Pony-Berserker]

1461914

this is a train wreck

I don't get it

[LloydZelos]

I'm liking where this is going. Can we expect a Benny Hill-like scene?

[godf0006]

I already figured what's going to happen.