• Member Since 18th May, 2012
  • offline last seen May 31st, 2016

Nobrains


It's like... a bio... but shorter... and useless...

T

It has been a year since Titus has arrived in Equestria. Deep underground, a betrayal takes place between two ancient beings, and another is brought into Equestria as a result with a strong thirst for justice. An evil soon awakens that not even a god can comprehend and Titus finds himself called to action once more in an attempt to spare Equestria from destruction and corruption.

(Sequel to A Beacon of Light and A Pale Light)

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 69 )

What about the gnome?

1526646
Maybe I'll have something later for him; he is one tough bugger, but for now, what is done is done. :ajsleepy:

1526646 Nah, he's dead.

At least, I'm pretty sure he is. So, Nobrains... Thanks man!

1530038
Sure thing, bro. Glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

1530062 Twas a good story. Over a lot faster than I expected this one, but I don't care.

1530078
Well I did hint at some more coming eventually. Anything is a possibility when I'm writing for the peoples.

1533681
That means a lot bro, I'm glad I can keep people like you happy with whatever I write here! :twilightsmile:

1544443
Glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiesmile:

I'm not done reading this chapter, though I have noticed several occurences of "too/to" missspelling ( the error consisting on you putting "too" instead of "to", I didn't notice any other way around however ) in all your chapters ( from the begining of your stories ).

I wouldn't have pointed it if it was a rare mistake ( because let's face it, I really don't care about things being missspelled ). But as you seem to be doing this error really often, I'm letting you know, so you can improve.

Getting back on reading... Cheers.

That, again, was great.

I really loved the fight scene. However, this one story was kind of really short, but it was really interesting to read from start to finish.

Reitterating my comment on the previous story, I really hope something is going to happen with the Draenei friend of Titus in a sequel. It also feels really bad for her to no be able to do anything because of her state. She was Titus' only "real friend" ( if I'm not mistaken ), she deserves not to be left alone, and be able to embrace her life again and hopefully, live thrilling adventures with him. But I guess Lyra will not welcome her too kindly, especialy since she's a female. But since there didn't seem to be any romance between these two, I guess the draenei wouldn't care, or at worse, be irritated that her friend have got such a possessive marefriend? Oh well, should these two meet, I guess their relation would be kind of complicated.

I also really love the mindset of the gnome Death Knight. It really fits to one of his kind. Plus he looked just so badass. Too bad he's dead. However I wouldn't mind if he came back later on for some reason. A death knight does not die that easily I guess? But I hardly see how he can get out of the tunnels, should he be able to heal off his wounds.

Also, while the following comment is from my personal point of view and taste for stories, it should not be treated as a "must do". I'd like to say:

I really like the adventure side that you put in your stories a lot. It's thrilling, there is action, it's interesting. However, I really would like to see more "idle" times, where we learn a bit more about the characters ( Titus especialy ), and their day-to-day life.

While I clearly enjoy the adventure side of your stories, I also would be really interested to see a lot more deepness into the characters, other than when their life goes out of the ordinary. Most of your stories have this kind of thing at the very begining, but it quickly escalate to "adventure mode" (which is a good thing, don't get me wrong) where things happen.

But it really would feel good to have some of these "idle" times, where we can learn about the characters, and how they interact with eachothers when there isn't something that needs to be taken care off. I would love to see interaction with more background characters, especialy Lyra/Titus with the mane six ( yes, the mane six are background characters here! ), and maybe others I don't think/know about.

I also love reading those romance interactions between characters. While it is good to have them in "adventure mode" ( and you did that in the just right amount ), I'd like to see more of these in "idle" phases.

Again, this was from my personal tastes. It shouldn't taken as "you must do it, else your story sucks". Your stories are great as they are, and I will not be disapointed should there be no change toward this, especialy when you're such a good writter in the first place.

I hope to see a sequel soon. While waiting for that, I'll check on your other story, it sounds good too.

Another advice I could give you is to put a link to your first story in the sequels' description, ( inside the brackets (wait, that phrase was "inside the bracket", and was inside brackets itself... Bracketception! )) it might potentialy get your some more (really deserved) views, instead of just saying that it's a sequel, which may cause someone to just overlook it in the story list.

Alright, just watching back at this comment's length, it seems like I'm begining to write a story in itself, so i'll just stop now.

Cheers on your future works of your stories, may they be related, or not, to this WoW crossover.

1634520
Thanks! I apologize for those errors, I must have overlooked them through the editing process (you wouldn't believe how much of an issue the 'its' and 'it's' thing is with me, heh.)
I admit that I am a bit short handed with the more 'day to day' style writing. I suppose that since I am so used to reading fantasy adventure novels and junk, I really feel comfortable emulating that style into my stories. (I really should break from that idea some time. :fluttershyouch: )
Regardless, I am more than overjoyed to hear you enjoy more story so much as to analyze and give me ideas on how to improve my writing and not flesh out the same mold for each story I do.
You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. Thanks so much for commenting your opinion on my work. :pinkiesmile:

This, I gotta say has been one of the better WoW crossovers! :pinkiehappy:

I really like the three stories and I'm hoping for a fourth!! :yay:

1660948
Thanks a bunch! They'll be more to come for sure! :twilightsmile:

No problem! I really meant this is one of the best WoW crossovers I have read. It ties with my 5th in Fav's list! But anyway I can't wait until the next book! Keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

1661120
Wow! 5th! Whoa! :pinkiegasp:
That means a lot to me! It's so nice to hear someone like my stories so much! I'll try to keep up the standards I have set! :pinkiesmile:

Aside from your trio if great stories I only have found one or two good WoW crossovers! You would think it would be easy to find better WoW Fics, but in actuality almost nopony writes them. :derpyderp2: Then the few that write them don't write them well or are just explaining the game in Equestria. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm also glad my praise is accepted. Many times people just layer praise when not warranted, so I've earned the reputation of being a hard-ass critique.:coolphoto: But I speak truthfully that three stories in a row of good writing is hard to find. :trixieshiftleft:

But just keep writing the way you are right now and I'd say your set! :moustache:

1661191
That I can and will do! :rainbowdetermined2:
Thanks again! :yay:

Okie dokie lokie... :pinkiesmile:

I'm watchin' you... like a hawk.

*Giggle* I enjoy those references WAY too much... :trollestia:

1530062
I'm guessing Titus either never bothered to learn Redemption, or he isn't a high enough level to have had the chance to learn it?

1685655
See that's the thing, I only follow so close to the game, in fact, I go more by the lore than the game, and a rez isn't something that would make much sense outside of the game's mechanics.

If we went by this, then we'd have to ask countless questions like why didn't Turalyon resurrect Anduin Lothar following the fight under Black Mountain? Or why didn't Varian Wrynn simply get a priest or a paladin to resurrect his wife after that horrible accident with the Stonemasons and their rioting in Stormwind?

It's a great mechanic in a raid and fighting big baddies for loot in a game, but for writing a captivating story? It doesn't hold much ground. :fluttershyouch:
I hope it makes sense, bud. I'm actually surprised I don't get more questions like this.

1686051
It makes sense, thank you. I know what you mean. Like how in the games a priest can use as many shadow words as they want, but in lore each one has a very heavy cost.

I'm growing weary of Lyra being completely bloody useless every single time she does anything.

2113346
I wouldn't call her useless, but I would think of Titus as being the one solving most of the problems. :ajsmug:

2113421

Okay, enlighten me. When has Lyra done anything without either A) failing or B) Titus showing up and finishing it for her?

I mean, every time she attempts to contribute to anything it's ineffective at best, and far more often just makes Titus' job harder.

2113584
Let me say this: have I ever hinted at her character being truly capable of taking on such things alone? The entire setup has always been that Titus initially acts as a sort of guardian in one way or another to Lyra, who really cannot help herself against such entities. That's what paladins do, and he's struggled with being selfish since he should be helping more people/ponies than just her.

It would be okay if I suddenly changed her and sapped her of all ability to contribute, but that's just not true. I believe the effort is made to help, but since each enemy is, naturally, tougher than the last, more and more of the load is placed on the protector or guardian that is Titus. With Lyra's role as being more and more as a reason Titus continues to fight after odds get so far out of hand.

Or maybe I'm just looking too far into it and I've really honestly written her to be cute first, and adept secondly. Much like common stories regarding a hero rescuing or protecting a damsel in distress.

I hope I'm not coming off too brash, I just wanted to state character roles within these stories. :twilightsheepish:

2113662

I can understand the idea of having the protagonist's love interest not be useful in combat, but Lyra doesn't do much outside of combat either, nor does she seem to be doing anything to be less of a hindrance. Despite repeatedly proving that she can't help out in any meaningful way, she still persists in engaging combat even when there's a third party around to tell her it's a terrible idea. There was the one mention in Pale of her trying to practice with a hammer, but it was only mentioned once and never referenced again.

Granted, the one time she actually stayed behind in the safest place in the area so Titus could be heroic without her slowing him down, she nearly died anyway. But it's still aggravating that she seems to serve no purpose other than being a love interest and slowing Titus down. If this series was a video game, you can bet there would be a hatedom dedicated to wanting Lyra to die painfully.

2113854
She cares for him, and that's why she'll still try to assist, even when it ill suits her. I've written her as stubborn, reckless, and a bit possessive. It's a nice foil to Titus's training and cool manner, which does allow for some chemistry to form between them, as it naturally would.

I don't see how it being a video game would change the reception of how I've written her to be. With the way games are, it would be just like writing a more interactive story, but would still follow all the plot procedures and such. I don't think anyone here would like her to die otherwise, I mean this is a fanfic regarding a human and a pony, in the setting of the beloved show: "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic," the way some people are in this very fandom, I'd think they'd rather have Titus die or the such.

I do appreciate the criticism, though. I don't tend to get any often, and I know I need some from time to time.

Edit: It appears I forgot to add the reply to this comment, how stupid of me.

DEATH KNIGHTS!!!!!!

keen for more

2171415
and there shall be! :pinkiesmile:

I were a little disappointed about that fact that he didn't get a connection to the real Eleii, but then again, it got saved pretty well a little later, but I found it to be a fairly decent chapter over all.

2208772
Thank you kindly, bud. Glad to see I didn't screw it up. :coolphoto:

2209066
d'aww, thank you so much. :twilightblush:

I was wondering why it was still marked as incomplete.

I must say one thing, Luna seems a bit bi-polar in the restaurant scene.

2210656
Just like she's always been, in my opinion. :trollestia:

2210728
*insert witty quip involving your avatar as well.*

I gotta say that it really changes from the near-non-stop adventures of your usual work. But I really like that. ( Hell, I'm one of the ones that asked for it in the first place, it would be hard to be disapointed )

I loved how you rendered the whole thing interesting with the luna plot. I kind of hate her for doing that, but she's right in her own way somehow, and she did that for the good of Titus.

2210656

I guess you could say that she is... *puts sunglasses on* ... Lunatic.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

2212351
Thanks bud. One of my proofreaders felt the same way, but just hated Luna straight up, which got me worried lol. I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

“...and what does he dream about me?” She was anxious to hear. She would do anything to hear.
“I see privacy is not a thing you give much heed to. But I can tell you, if you really wish. It is not anything dreadful, I assure you.”

I believe the adjective 'Hypocritical' would do well here

3418241
If I couldn't please you, then I have no business writing, so this is stellar news.

3418252 Oh? Really? You want to please me? .... What's your agenda here?

3418269
I'm a nice guy to decent folks.

3418279
>Greentexting on Fimfiction.

3418284 >still being a productive member of this site

3418285
Who does that anymore, amirite?

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