A rather strange and absentminded stallion has come out of nowhere, and broken into the royal castle. When he is easily apprehended for his crime of trespassing it is found that he is far more powerful than he first appears. It also seems he is even more impossible to contain. When finally he is found and confronted by the royal sisters he introduces himself as Chaos, and despite his name and power he seems to be a very calm and dignified stallion. That is until he reveals his origin, or rather, the origin of another, which leads to the immediate distrust of all.
Chaos insists that despite his past mistakes he intends to make good on his family's history, but Celestia "banishes" him to Ponyville. This way the wielders of the Elements of Harmony will be able to keep a close eye on him in case he's lying, but due to his dignified nature and relative charm Rarity comes comes to be close friends with him.
Will the trust of fair Rarity be enough to convince her friends of Chaos' innocence, or will this cause an irreparable rift between the closest of friends?
Author's note: pending rewrite of first two chapters. What the hell was I thinking?
Author's note : Semi-alternate universe: Discord was never reformed.
the beginning of this story is causing me to think of the oc speaking a voice similar to bane.
2111523 lol Bane? From Batman?
Well I don't know about that. He just has more of that dignified sort of voice, except he's actually being respectful and not snobby like half the ponies in Canterlot.
"Ahhh you think chaos is your ally, you merely adopted it, I was born in it, molded by it, I hadent seen sanity until I wal already a stallion, and by then it was just tiresome."
Rarity has a crush on him
2116377 Actually Rarity is just getting to know him for now, but yes (spoilers): that's sort of the plan.
2117576 I knew it!
2115927 Hmm...good quote...I wonder if I can work that into the story.
2422664 You're posting your story on a public story site, if you didn't want people to read and review, why the heck did you post it here? That incomplete sign means that it is not complete, nothing more. If you didn't want people to review an unfinished piece of work, why didn't you wait until it was finished before to published it to the world? Sirius_Face put in the time and effort to actually read through your work and tell you what was good and bad about it; that's genuine feedback right there, if you just want people to post comments like 'i lik dis' or 'dis is bad yo', post this on fanfiction.net and leave fimfiction to its legitimately helpful community.
2422664
Politely, if you didn't want this reviewed, and your "idiot friend" put it in the group without your permission, why the hell didn't you ask them to remove it from the group?
2424526 2426608 I was having a bad day as it was and I apologized to him. Get off my back. No offense intended, but I don't really see how it's your concern anyways
. Bottom line: I overreacted and I made up for it. We're working things over
.
2422664
Do you have any clue just how long it takes to review a story? Do you realize how beneficial it can be and how little it affects your time should you choose to ignore it? How about you show some gratitude for a very labor-intensive review that you didn't even ask for?
Anymore comments getting on me about my initial reaction to the review will now be deleted.
The matter has been resolved as I ALREADY STATED! I'll be asking for an updated review at a later date.
I'm sorry I even need to make this clear, but thanks to this "meeester" proving that I have once again overestimated the entirety of the human race, it's clear that I have to.
2431141 Thank you for wasting my time and helping to chip away at whatever faith I had left in the human race. Keep in mind that this time I'm not being the ignorant one when I say this: if your response is anything but an apology, it will not only be deleted, but I will block you as well. Not much of a threat I know, but it's mostly a warning of my counter-measure: I don't deal with ignorance.
I know that feel, bro.
Took it to dinner last week.
I don't know why this has such a high dislike ratio. In any case, I look forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
3105530 It's gonna be a while before I get back to this, and I feel I should rewrite or at least heavily edit the first two chapters. Not enough going on and it's a single long note. Kinda boring looking back on it.
3106546
My comment stands.