Rarity Rapes Me

Ms Rarity

Ms Rarity #1 · 2 weeks ago · 3 · 5 · I wonder if he likes me? ·

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4 dislikes before my story has even been read? Surely that's some sort of record!
Wow! Just wow!

Just shows how pathetic some ponies are
That's just made my day!

Lucky Seven

Lucky Seven #2 · 2 weeks ago · 6 · 2 · I wonder if he likes me? ·

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So if you're LARPing as Rarity does that mean you want to rape me?

Upvoted.

Ms Rarity

Ms Rarity #3 · 2 weeks ago · 2 · 3 · I wonder if he likes me? ·

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11905599
Only if you want me to darling

Thank you for the upvote btw

Serene Wish

Serene Wish #4 · 2 weeks ago · 1 · 3 · I wonder if he likes me? ·

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11905605
You know, I upvoted too, so...

I feel like there's a bit of a lack of detail? The first chapter could very well become horror and the second chapter could be warm and caring and all that. It would make a nice contrast.

I like the idea of the parasite.

Ms Rarity

Ms Rarity #5 · 2 weeks ago · 2 · 3 · I wonder if he likes me? ·

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11905618
Thanks for that darling

It's a story all about perception. From the humans side it is scary and horrific and in his eyes he is being stalked and raped.
However, it's not until when we see Rarity's side of the story, that's when our perceptions change as we see the whole story unfold.

That's why I made the title so powerful because why would the element of generosity do that? It's like Tony Stark robbing a bank.

Serene Wish

Serene Wish #6 · 2 weeks ago · 3 · 1 · I wonder if he likes me? ·

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11905637

It's a story all about perception.

So my assumption was correct.

I think it's a little lacking in detail and the first chapter doesn't seem so scary.

You could also add the point that the parasite affects the person's mind, making them paranoid, distrustful of others and increasing their anxiety. That would justify all the horror that could be added.

Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to tell you what to do - it's your story. I was trying to look from your perspective and suggest improvements.

Ms Rarity

Ms Rarity #7 · 2 weeks ago · 3 · 1 · I wonder if he likes me? ·

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11905648
Thank you for that

I was trying to put the reader in the humans shoes, I had a bad experience of being spiked years ago and I didn't know what was going on as I thought I was still thinking straight and was just putting it down to a 'dodgy pint' as my roommate called it.

Then as the reader is put in Rarity's shoes and see's story opening up the reader then says- "oh I've jumped to conclusions so soon!" Type of thing.

:twilight smile:

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