When two time traveling ponies wipe out in the not-too-distant past, they have an unexpected interaction with a certain pink party animal. Pinkie tries to get a little too friendly with the heart of the TARDIS, and shenanigans come about as a result.
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This looks... interesting.
1410102
lol, thanks.
I thought of this as a comic, but I decided I couldn't tell the story properly with a series of images. The funniest part is that I tried to write this last week, but ended up typing a totally different story.
1410198 You're welcome.
Critique Time!
In hindsight, I definitely felt a comic vibe.
Nice oneshot, although you have a bit of a plothole (not that kind of plothole!) where you have the Doctor saying that he can get parts for his Type 40 TARDIS from Princess Luna. And this takes place before the beginning of the series.
Isn't Luna still on the moon? And although I am not an extreme Dr. Who fan who has seen every episode and possesses all the merchandise, finding TARDIS parts that are compatible with a Type 40 might be easier said than done.
I think that I understand why you would use Luna in this manner (due to her connection with the stars), but it might be a good idea for you to swap out Luna for Celestia, or perhaps some other background character. Something to fix that timeline inconsistency.
Overall, not a bad oneshot. Nowhere near the best that I've read, but still, this is very well done. Hell of a explanation for Pinkie's precognitive abilities. Is this your first time writing?
1419767
Thanks for the critique!
A fair point about Luna... I've always imagined the Doctor and Luna being on good terms, and I suppose I simply neglected to think it through for the sake of throwing in some silly headcanon.
As far as finding parts for the TARDIS, I drew a little inspiration from the 8th doctor, who did incorporate late 90's tech into his vessel to make a quick-fix.
I appreciate the complements! I actually have two other stories posted, another one-shot and a longer, more serious one that's about 75% done, but those have only been projects of mine for a couple months and are essentially the full extent of my fiction writing for years. Though I suppose that in the six months or so that I've been hanging around the mlp subreddit, I've done plenty of ad-libbing with other members there.
I am an undergrad though, so I do write an inordinate amount of non-fiction material. You should've seen my first fic before I had a critic look it over, it was formatted just like a textbook!
It does explain how she gets the Pinkie Sense
first things first:
^-- that part. that part right there. right there. it made me feel like i was going to die of laughter. seriously, just look at it. how could it not? seriously, it's so random and funny yet true, but she still does it anyway.
now, to the "serious" business. well, as serious as any type of "critic" for things like this could get. loved it. haven't read many one-shots that made me laugh, but just reading into the pair meeting pinkie made me laugh. nice touch on the origins of the "pinkie sense" by the way. it seems like a possibility for something only pinkie could do/something that only could happen to pinkie.
2977689
I'm glad you liked it, man. Thanks for the faves and the watch! You're right, who else but Pinkie could get a glimpse at the whole of time and space, and not only survive and maintain sanity (or whatever part of it she ever had, anyway), but also not even mention it to anyone ever?
Oh, and nice glasses, by the way.
2979693
it's nothing and your welcome man. i like to give credit where credit is due and doing that is an easy way to show that appreciation. yep, only pinkie could do that. guess after a bunch of moments of random premonitions and out of nowhere crazy antics, every citizen in that town just accepts her and probably stop to just question it and go with the whole "it's pinkie being pinkie" mentality.
also, thanks for the compliment. they let me see thinks no one else can see normally, if you know what i mean.
2979693 streamers make everything better.
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