...Of a Feather

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Fluttershy puts a defenseless creature out of its misery to spare it the pain of a slow inevitable death. Its friend and family take revenge on Fluttershy, taking away a gift most valuable, which we take for granted.

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dashie76

dashie76 #1 · Oct 7th, 2012 · · ·

Hmmm...this has potential. It's a very interesting premise. I must say, though, that the scene where Fluttershy put the baby crow out of its misery seemed rather...rushed. I don't know, it just seemed out of character for her. I think that she probably should've debated whether or not to do it, first consider the notion, immediately push it away, then consider it for a bit longer, finally decide that it had to be done, and then do her best to muster up all of her courage, and then finally do the deed. The only other thing that I found were a few spelling errors.

Aw, what the heck, I'll upvote anyways! I want to see where this fic will lead!

-MASH

cloudedguardian

cloudedguardian #2 · Oct 8th, 2012 · · ·

1402250
I'll agree with you there.
I can see her grimacing a lot more, and definitely at the very least apologizing aloud to it since she seems to think of them as sentient intelligent creatures... Or singing a lullaby. I could see her doing that before the mercy kill as well... But it would be with a lot of tears.

CeleryPony

CeleryPony #3 · Oct 8th, 2012 · · ·

Thank you two very much for your input. I had considered what yall said when I was writing, but it seemed... what's the word? Like... too much? I dunno. I shouldn't overlook details like that so frivolously, but I don't want this to be too much of a lengthy fanfic. Especially since it's my first.

I'd edit a bit, but that might be unfair to those who have read? Maybe.

D4ddy D15Cord

D4ddy D15Cord #4 · Oct 8th, 2012 · · ·

<(FUS ROH DAH)

chaos2012

chaos2012 #5 · Oct 8th, 2012 · · ·

holy crap! Fluttershy!

reader238

reader238 #6 · Oct 8th, 2012 · · ·

fluttershy being attacked by crows and is now possibly blind... wait where is angel in all of this???

EDIT: i suggest that fluttershy drop to the fetal position or how ever close to it a pony can do, say sorry repeatedly while repeating her reasoning for what she did in detail

ShadowBro

ShadowBro #7 · Oct 8th, 2012 · · ·

1403329

Unfortunately, the nature of tackling writing, and ESPECIALLY this topic, is considering all the details and putting them in as necessary. Better to overwrite and pare down when you're beginning. This way you'll make sure to cover all the necessary parts.

CeleryPony