Rainbow reluctantly takes the Cutie Mark Crusaders to the grand opening of Rinky Dink's Funtown. After a disagreement about prices at the prize counter, Rainbow hijacks their happy outing to wage an escalating grudge war against the kooky proprietor and mascot, Rinky Dink who's starting to seem less jolly and more darkly unhinged.
The 'other' tagged in the characters is Inky Rose who deserves her own tag.
Only my second ever E rated story. Reads like an episode of 'The Amazing World of Gumball.'
Chapters (1)
Well, that was certainly a barrel of laughs. While the dark humor was a bit of a departure from that of the show, it was certainly effective. Aside from that, you had good pacing and good prose that made the story easy to follow, despite its length. You did have a few mechanical errors here and there, but overall, this was really good!
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Thanks. Glad to see someone finally read this one.
Celestia H Christ, Rainbow Dash.
Applejack wouldn't have let this happen.
Don't even know if she got the doll in the end or not. I choose to believe that she did.
Poor Sweetie. Also poor Rinky, Inky and orphans.
Yeah, Rainbow would scam a children's arcade park. Somehow she's more immature than Pinkie sometimes.
And a story from you that isn't soul-destroying? Well, unless you care about orphans and small business owners I suppose.
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Even I need a break sometimes... Even so... still a little too dark to be a cannon episode/comic.
Hello! Have a review. I know nothing about The Amazing World of Gumball, so if there were any references I missed them. Still fun, though, with nice CMC dialogue and the exciting go-kart racing sequence. A bit of a tone whiplash at the end, though I could see that was deliberate, and a couple of plot conveniences in there, but an entertaining ride nevertheless. Liked!
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Thanks! You don't have to know Gumball to fully appreciate it. I just noticed when I wrote it that, like Gumball, it's immature and flamboyant but also kind of mean spirited with dark humor... and don't forget the mandatory chase scene.
I don't know if it's me or I caught a darker undertone. First of all the stamps, somehow they are supposed to help you if someone tries to take you so I can only assume their magical in nature and allows people to track you down easily. My second guess is the story about the little girl Mr. Funtales and my third guess is he has a locket of the grill he's talking about and he basically started this thing to honor her memory making the assumption that the girls either did or they were never found. But this is me making guesses to an already dark story
Oh yeah and another good story
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Thanks. It is definitely dark but not overly... Well... maybe at the end. I even used the dark tag which I wasn't planning on doing when I started writing it. The stamp thing is something they do in places like this. You're supposed to have a corresponding ID to the kids you're in charge of which they check at the door when you leave. That way no on leaves with kids who aren't theirs.
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Yeah but that is a recent thing. They would not have that at the fair and probably back then