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An eggcellent adventure

Scootaloo and her beloved friend Apple Bloom decide to team up in a group project! And by that I mean taking care of an egg!.... But without Sweetie Belle's guidance (stopping them from doing anything stupid) How will these two be able to last a day let alone a whole week without the egg being in some sort of danger?

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Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #1 · May 30th, 2023 · · · A EGGstraordinary Day ·

This was a decent first chapter, but I already see some major flaws with it. You have a huge number of mechanical errors (grammar, punctuation, etc), which makes the story feel unpolished. Your prose is also very simple and quick, which makes the story feel a bit fast-paced. I will say that I like your premise and I think this story could have potential, but you really need to go slower and have some more humor in there for it to work.