Written for the M/M Shipping Contest II: 2022
The Story is set after season 9, roughly 5 years after Princess Twilight Sparkle takes the throne. Snips and Snails are both 18 in the story. The grammar does not follow the show but is rather supposed to impress upon the audience that the characters are older, better educated, and hopefully wiser.
Snips and Snails have been friends for as long as they can remember, but now they are adults, and they are ready to start dating. After being rebuffed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, they decide to 'practice' on each other, with unexpected results.
Like all new couples, they make a few mistakes along the way. They make no apologies for how they feel but can they make their dreams come true?
Chapters (6)
A nice little male/male fic.
You've done a great job of capturing Snips and Snails and their dynamic. I think the dialogue was a little too explain-y early on and could be a bit more natural, but I like the concept here. Getting them to practice on each other creates a very clear path for them to bond. Looking forward to reading the rest.
Quick heads-up: I would label this one mature since it depicts explicit sexual content, even though it's in conversation (the "teardrop" part).
This ended up being a very cute fic. I like the path that S&S took to bring together. It felt very true to their characters and what we see of them in the show - a little dopey, but very sincere. The dialog felt a bit stiff at times, so I think you can get away with less explaining the situation in the dialogue. Still, the made me smile in the end. Nice work!
well that initial conversation was at times much cruder than expected or fit the situation, but at least the practice compliments they gave each other were much sweeter and more earnest in comparison. the CMCs must be really sick of these two by now if this is what they’ve been doing for years!
some interesting worldbuilding, it does make sense that lollipops shaped like unicorn horns would be sexual gag gifts here
the meaning of Snails’s cutie mark and job here is pretty great, and one i might have to steal. Snips’s Assistant Manager ambitions is also very fitting, and Aloe and Lotus are also great here
okay, i have to say that i don’t get the dynamics of the relationships here or Sweetie Belle’s characterization at all. there’s a lot of unnecessary mean-spiritedness which seems at odds with the overarching plot of this shipping story
so this really just continues the previous chapter’s issues, exacerbated by overexplanation and focus on details that aren’t relevant to the core of the story. the parts that are actually about Snips and Snails feel like they are from a completely different story here
the core of the overall story is a good idea, with Snips and Snails flirting terribly with the CMCs for years, and the idea of “practicing” with each other being what leads them to realize that they are perfect for each other. Sweetie Belle having strung them along for years is a fraught characterization, but definitely one that can be written well, and the CMCs being the couple’s Best Mares is a great way to bring it all around full circle and show growth on their respective sides.
this idea i did enjoy, and there were some good worldbuilding ideas scattered around here and there. thank you for writing!
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