• Member Since 19th Feb, 2022
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Caladis


You cannot appreciate the light without seeing the darkness. Donations welcome. https://www.patreon.com/Caladis

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Written for the Ancestral Tribute Contest 2022.

Twilight Velvet was the best mother that she knew... but how can you be a mother without foals?

In short... she's driving herself crazy and dragging her husband with her... but he has a plan to make things right... for both of them.

Special thanks to CloudyGlow for the cover art.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

It’s to bad in the show they didn’t go for another kid. I think Twilight would be really hyped to be a big sister

Hmmm, no mention of a possible Candance/Armor get- together (depending on how much interaction those two had) when the talk turned to an arranged marriage for Sparkle ...

11385852
I didn't name a time frame in the story but in my head, Shining was probably 14 or 15 and Twilight was 11 or 12. I'm not sure canon-wise when Shining Armor first met Cadence.

Also, as a side note, I don't think Velvet was ever worried about Shining Armor not getting married. But with the mare to stallion ratio being so unbalanced in most stories, and even Canon, Velvet would have been very paranoid about her daughter not finding love like she did.

Twilight Velvet was humming to herself, trying to ignore the relative quiet of the house while baking a Lavender Pie.

Minor point, capitalizing the pie makes it seem like Velvet is baking one of Pinkie's relatives.

“Good… it’s finally done. Twilight! The pie is ready! Twilight?”

I suppose when Velvet is saying it, there's little risk of confusion.

By Celestia… she wanted grandfoals… of course… her foals were much too young for that… at least, right now.

Okay, there's such a thing as too many ellipses.

This is an interesting case in terms of fulfilling the prompt. Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor aren't present, but that absence dominates the narrative. By the strictest definition, this is a story featuring parents without their children, but it finds a way to involve them at every step throughout. I may need to confer with the other judges on this one, but for now, I'm going to say this is just barely on the edge of acceptable.

That being said, there's a decent emotional journey here, though one weighed down with clumsy exposition both in and out of dialogue. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

11385908
I appreciate the honest criticism. Thank you.

11385864
Considering that Cadance was Sparkle's foalsitter (call it about six years previous), there would have been some interaction between Armor and Amore ...

11386593
That brings up a completely different point then. How much older is Shining Armor than Twilight? I always thought them to only be a few years apart in age. If Shining did first meet Cadence while she was foalsitting his sister, they would have been too young to start dating at that age. Twilight would have known her brother was dating if it started before she left home to go to Celestia’s School.

11385604
I had considered that for this story... but I do try to keep my stories as close to Canon as possible except when I'm intentionally breaking the Canon.

This story was inspired by other Twilight Velvet stories where she is the romantic but overbearing mother, always trying to set up Twilight on dates or with coltfriends. Most the stories I've read with her in as her as a writer of romance novels. But where did all that start? I wanted a story that showed that Velvet loved her children so much... that she didn't know how to function without them. And kinda create the headcanon for stories later in the series where Velvet has all these wonderful motherly moments.

11386617
Yes and no, remember this is about the parents reminiscing on the past (and how they felt about any interaction at that time) ...

And pony years may not line up with the human scale ...

11386628
That’s kind of a mystery. Back in the early years of G4 fans had speculated that Valvet was an author for a long time till I think when the family vacation episode or Daring Doo said someone else was her editor? Been some time thinking of it but yea I agree I wish we saw more of her since her children are now royalty while she is still a citizen which I have to wonder it’s hard for her to spend time with them.

It’s fine staying close to canon if you want to. No one should judge you for staying away from canon since not many fans had liked how G4 ended. :twilightblush:

Now these days I do see Valvet being the adventure type mom. Going on wild rides and stuff.

11386633
I didn't like how G4 ended but I do have a story idea now that this story kinda inspired. It's not going to be a sequel, per ce, but the idea came from this look at Velvet’s life.

11386647
Have you read the Velvet story where she took Cozy Glow and ran off into the woods to raise her better?

11386649
No but that sounds interesting. Do you have the link?

11386652
Here you go Only a Filly

Also, that’s neat you got an idea for more stories for her.

11386655
That was a good read but it also reinforces my story. Velvet is the prefect mother, but she doesn't seem to know how to be anything other than a mother. I would say it's a good kind of crazy.

11386670
Indeed, many mothers have a hard time to adjust moving to new things after the kids are gone. Really there isn’t anything wrong about having another foal in her age or maybe try adopting as well.

I’m a little sad that they didn’t give Twilight her own coltfriend or Prince. Oddly they actually did had Sci-Twi have Timber has her boyfriend which he is a cool character and better written one than Flash which if we had the last EQG film we would had seen Sunset and Flash back together. Wait that’s a different conversation… Yea, Velvet should being having many grandkids not just Flurry Heart.

I forgot to talk about this story you have written. So I see that it takes place when the siblings are still young. It’s a really good read and I hope Velvet finds her new goal in life.

11386686
I appreciate the feedback. I've read a lot of fan fiction but I'm new to writing it. I have a full length science fiction book written that I'm waiting on the funding to publish. It's probably not a masterpiece but the few people I've trusted to edit it tell me it's above average for a first book. Every story, every chapter improves my writing. It only of people point out my mistakes and help me learn from them.

11429313
I think you gave a fair review and I appreciate it. I will try to use it to improve my writing

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