Story was almost cancelled, but then I realised that I still wanted to keep writing just a little further.
Just some forewarning though. This story is not for everyone. It is a slow-burn slice-of-life which lacks much serious threat. There is no big villain, and the storyline progresses quite slowly and you may get bored.
I am still new-ish to writing, so the writing quality (especially surrounding characters and dialogue) may leave something to be desired.
A story about someone with limited knowledge of the show, (basic facts on a small scale, no timeline stuff) wakes up as an alicorn (early-teen) in Canterlot. He is not happy about this fact.
General info:
No, they do not have OP alicorn powers. Yes, they are sort-of a foal, but not of baby age and this will not affect their personality or emotional-capacity in any way.
Gender swapping? No, I asked in the comments, people want a male alicorn.
Will this impact my other story (Clouds)? Probably, depends on if people want me to continue it or not.
Tags will be updated with story.
I'd imagine the first known male alicorn would create a bigger hubbub then another female alicorn. But if the gender isn't going to influence the plot then perhaps coin flip it
a male alicorn is usualy good fun when the world hasent seen one before. Them being not an adult yet but not a baby could make it interesting should others have to take guardienship of him. Alicorns usualy seen to have some sort of wide reaching talent like the night or magic so you could set it up so his (or her) talent is weather but due to equestrias weather systems he doesnt need to do much so while you could write him (or her) to be decently powerfull it would also allow you to show that they are not as powerfull as the others. Maby make the talent they get something they are interested in but just able to pick it up and do things a bit more creativly and not able to destroy a village with a sneaze
Male alicorn
Male. Reason; there's never any evidence of a male Alicorn in Equestria History & Big Mac's dream doesn't count
Female cuz they are basically the mane heroes get it
Guy turn into male Alicorn is what I want to see more of since there are already plenty of female alicorns stories.
Male alicorn would probably be more interesting, as a few other said before. There's so many female alicorns already.
Excellent start by the way, definitely gonna keep an eye on that story.
Ok, it is decided, the main character will be male. I will get back to writing Chapter 2 now. I aim to get it released today.
I am unsure with this: "They are not happy about this fact." Do you mean Canterlot or genderless MC (At this point)
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I am unsure of what you mean. They will not be 'genderless' but I was asking whether people wanted to see Male or Female main character. Also, the location this story will take place in is Canterlot. The "they are not happy about this fact" is definitely part of the story. But the character will not be seriously distraught by their predicament, more like "I'm just going to ignore it and go about pretending it's not there."
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I think male is a good idea as well. Male alicorns don't exist in magic pony land, so can lead to some interesting reactions from anypony who finds them. Especially the other alicorns, who are probably looking for another immortal friend. :)
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Hardly see male alicorns so that would be very interesting.
He got found pretty fast, I guess Canterlot patrols are rather thorough. Personally I have mixed feelings about Human turned Pony characters that insist on using their human names in ponyland, (Very specific criteria, I know
) but it does make sense for this character right now.
Now, let's see what happens when he runs into Celestia. And also, lets find out where he fell in the timeline, that can be important.
Chapter 2 already? I hardly managed to turn around.
He was
capturedrecovered a little faster than I was expecting. I'm curious as to what the ponies will make of the apparently homeless alicorn colt.Good stuff, its good to see that he stays mature and all.
I believe your story really has potential, keep it up but do take time if you need to work around it, I'm sure everyone can be patient enough for a well written chapter
I didn't really know what to name the chapter, I'll most likely rename it once I come up with something more suitable.
Edit: changed "Caught?" to "Found"
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Huh, for me it's kinda of the opposite. Your name is your name, something that marks your humanity and individuality in a very strange world and unfamiliar body. Why would you abandon it?
It's very interesting to find how other people's tastes differ from our own.
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I guess I just look at it from my perspective, I don't have a problem with my name, but I go by enough handles and nicknames with different groups that I'm not overly picky about what people call me.
That said, I did look up my name's etymology and translation for a self insert I never got around to writing. Being asked for a name, and then stumbling over "Bright Flame of the Lake, or something like that" would make a rather amusing scene.
Fun story so far, but don't rush things, don't burn yourself out, you can use it to build up a good backlog of chapter and wait a few days before posting them just in case you you get writers blocks. I will be looking forward to see how you will add your own spin on the trope, will the princesses adopt him and be his guardian, or somepony else from nobility? Or will they put him through princess school and groom him into the role? Or will they try to hide him from the public for as long as possible? Would anypony want to use him for their own ends? It would also be nice to have some back story to the character instead of the blank slate like a lot of HiE.
And, just in in case you are interested in getting your own story cover art, I am open for commission, you can look at my DeviantArt Gallery here and my Youtube channel, I wish you good luck on your story dude.
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One of the points you brought up is correct, but I won't spoil which one. In terms of backstory, I have none and likely won't add much. This doesn't really have a developed storyline, but I do understand the kind of things I want to do with it. I do have another HiE story in the ideas stage which will start in in the human side, but I likely won't start it until I get burnt out from my other stories.
This is groovy.
I look forward to reading more.
Well intriguing start.
I think you missed a 'not' in there, otherwise he seems to contradict himself.
This is definately interesting. If his tastes didn't change to reflect his new form, I wonder if he's still an omnivore. I've seen that approach used a few times, the other ponies reactions to it is usually entertaining.
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Thanks for the catch, I'll fix that now.
Imagine giving someone a sandwich and they just take the bread. What that pony must have been thinking had me in stitches.
I sense some tense times at the dinner table with whoever takes him in.
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"Let me get a steaksandwich with no steak."
I wonder for how long they will leading him by the muzzle, and finally come clean why they brought him in and why at the castle of all places, it's obvious he is a pony of interest; through it could still be under the assumption that he is a barely teen colt so they rather want to try to keep him calm and a little time to adjust to the environment before actually start pressing him for questions. I wonder who is that mare that is leading him, a royal guard, a intelligence agent, a special social worker, or just a maid servant with special privileges or even all of the above, none of them are mutually exclusive; they might really want to try to to get any overpowered beings to be on the side of Equestria, and especially the crown, by making them feel welcome there, especially if they are still young and impressionable. I wonder how they located him in the first place and immediately woke up in the castle without even being woke up while being , I bet he was already located magically put to sleep in the allay by an agent, not city guard, I don't think sleeping spells are in the usual repertoire of your run of the mill guard. And considering that they didn't ask him to cooperate with them first I have my suspicion that it won'T be completely be benign intentions that he was brought in, they are hoping to being him to their fold and promise him privileges if he agrees to go along with the education they already have planned for him before he even woke up.
There are few neat ideas that male alicorns are omnivorous or eat more meat in their diet. I have only seen a few Fics with that concept which is a neat difference in the gender of the pony. The question is do female alicorns eat meat? Not as much or not needed as the males. With other species, males are always set to being stronger than females but not as flexible or fast as them. Magic can depend on how much you train but they have a bit more of a buff with their magic and can easily pull more spells faster than females but that only comes with training since they aren't learning a spell within an hour or day. Like with any other learning technique it takes time to learn the Piano.
What I mean by stronger is more of the muscles like they can fly longer distances, pick up much heavier objects, good sense of smell for hunting prey, or even be able to sense magic air around them. I have read stories with the concept of the Royal Sisters being able to sense something in the magic around them, so I won't be surprised if it's the same. Not that I am saying they are all OP!! Everypony has their talents which not everypony can grow a garden or cook for example Celestia can move the Sun because that is her talent but can't act on stage because it's not for her.
I always like the idea of Male Alicorns being wild nature ponies where they don't live in houses or civilizations just out there in the fields, forest, or landscapes just enjoying a day of being a wild pony.
This wasn't made in a day I've seen how the community writes the male alicorns over the years and this has been a common thing for most stories or not. We need either more of them or at least hope some stories get completed.
Btw it's been nice so far sorry for not talking about your story
Edit: I forgot to say what little human will face... It's going to be strange for the ponies to learn that he can't read and so far, even though he can understand what they are saying doesn't mean he would understand all the words. The eating scene is funny for the pony to see this young teen colt to be picking at the hayburger. I kind of wonder if they know he is an alicorn? Like Mix-Up said they are setting everything up for him to relax and not freak out. Poor colt will be a filly magnet if he goes to school... wait worse if word gets out. Run colt!
Edit 2.0: The story got that fire mark. Congratulations!
Edit 3.0: Thinking it over about comparing male animals and how they act I forgot they fight over for dominance or stay away from each other to not fight over who is stronger. It's true Alicorns are meant to be very few in numbers so it's ultra-rare for a male alicorn to pop up. I wonder if there would be legends since most of the time, we do see images of Alicorns in old tablets in the G4 show so it would be interesting what the lore would be for the male alicorn.
Now thinking of it... Tarzen comparison makes sense
this is a pretty neat story so far
Don't worry about it. Take the time to create new chapters!
Thanks R-P for another great chapter.
I kinda feel like Jonathan is not thinking about what he wants to do. Like, he has goals (kind of), but no real plan on how to get what he wants. He wants to find out where he is, but he also already knows where he is. He wants to find out how he got there, and if he can go home; but at the same time he doesn't want to talk to ponies and he wants to leave the city. Which makes me wonder how does he expect to find out these things if not through ponies? I kinda feel like if he ever managed to run away and leave the city, he'll take two steps outside the walls and go, "okay, next step, talk to a pony and ask abo- shit." and realize he isn't going to be able to scry the information he needs from a patch of grass.
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the ponies thought Johnathan was on the spectrum based on how he's been acting so far.
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Some people wake up and choose violence, he woke up and chose to inflect bafflement.
Wings and a horn and he wants nothing to do with any of it? Good grief, I'd be trying to fly and cast spells every day if I could since being able to fly like the birds and use magic has always been the stuff of dreams and fantasy. Not using them, especially as an alicorn, would lead ponies to think he's defective-- physically or psychologically.
(useless trivia: alicorn is also the term for a unicorn horn)
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So instead of adding edit 4, I will reply to my comment. I remember talking about this idea with others before about Equestria facing major political issues with a male alicorn being found from the risk of the government having to change to setup him up as king while the Royal Family like BlueBlood and Royal Sisters could lose their titles. There is one fanfic I read where the Princesses are forced by law to marry the Male Alicorn which yes both of them since only one was found which was this story It is kind of like your story. I recommended checking that out but back to the topic the idea would be the Princesses would not like this at all because it would give nobles a chance of a lifetime to change things that could undo Celestia's hard thousand-year work and could risk a bad path for Equestria. Nobels would more likely fight tooth and hoof to get their daughters or mares to marry the Male Alicorn because think of the power and influence they could have...
Also, the hairs would more likely be Alicorns which we don't really know like Cadence and Shining Armor ever had more kids after Flurry and if they were Alicorn or not.... You don't need to add a romance tag you can write funny scenes of Joan trying to get away from the crazy fillies 
Anyways, not many writers have explored that because it's like a really neat plot for the story that can impact all of the Equestria and the world. You know... Since there hasn't been any mentions of the Princesses It would be totally funny that they did get kicked out when somepony found him and they were just following the law
Just imagine being the human to wake up finding out you been "forced" to be King over a nation of colorful ponies and didn't mean to kick out the royal family. 
It's up to you how you want this world building to be like after all a Male Alicorn will change the landscape without his say or doing.
is
I wonder how they're all going to react knowing that he's a male alicorn with no cutie mark. I don't know Prince Blue book is going to hate that he got royal status but he doesn't have the symbols of l
Royalty. Well just one random coat can reach alicorns status just by being nothing.
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Specifically, alicorn is the *material* unicorn horns are made out of. Horns are just horns.
Tracking for now… though I’m not feeling it. The long description says he isn’t mentally a child yet no evidence to the contrary.
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I think that I mean he won't have difficulties controlling his emotions. Feel free to let me know if there is anywhere where you think he does start acting too annoying or childish.
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Ah…
That makes sense. I once read a fic where the body talked back. At. First I thought the man was possessing a filly but nope; the author seemed to think it was perfectly normal for a body to mentally talk back. I’m still vary concerned about him…
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I mean in my fics all ponies are omnivores. Then again Gen 2 which featured ponies eating hamburgers is ancient forgotten history in mine.
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I definitely like G2. But yes I remember the meat 🍖 there
Can you imagine Snow Blossom's reaction to him requesting a steak?
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I don't think they will even understand what a steak i unless they get meat eaters regularly. Or at all really.
I was so interested in the topic of this fanfic that I even read it through a translator. One thing that worries me is that the main character ended up in the castle too quickly, thinking that he was running away from the guards.
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Sorry to bust your bubble dude, but I doubt it would happen such scenario. To begin with no one would support his clam, from the highest noble to the lowest peasant, no one would know who he is and has no birth right to the throne. Next even if he was somehow Celestia's and Luna's disappeared elder brother, the the courts Parliament and nobility would pick him to rule instead because all their legitimacy is tied to Celestia, an dear deity that control the sun who ruled Equestria for over 1k years, ponies in the country have only know her as ruler, and would all just as soon brush whatever rules/laws that mention that the unknown alicorn, with no support treasury to back up, or simply remove it, or just amend their charter. Even the most cut throat ambitious nobles wouldn't try right away that unless Celestia crews up at something that is unforgivable to the population and even then no of them would be certain how to just dethrone her with the fact that she controls the fucking sun itself. And even then, if you managed to assassinate her there are other ponies in line with far more public credibility and support then he would which would probably had destroyed the whole country in the process.
That new alicorn would never get to rule without a bloodbath before he gets to the thron.
the only possibility that could happen, aside from marrying Celestia as her prince consort, is if the entire royal line some how 'disappeared' leaving the country without a figure head and what ever is left of the nobility scrambling to find someone that is an unknown and an alicorn, or something that look like one, and pass him off as a forgotten branch of the royal linage as a cousin or nephew to Celestia, and make sure that his claim is only assured by what ever noble is controlling him.
I thought a noble found him till he mentioned a royal gaurd outside his door
that was a awesome story so far but can u port it over to human filly colt section
Well, it's obvious that Johnny didn't watch 'How Not to be Seen.'