• Member Since 20th Jul, 2022
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Luminous Comet

Shipping girls since 2009!

Luminous Comet Joined 20th Jul, 2022 · Offline

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High school bully Sunset Shimmer has only just begun straightening herself out, when she makes a startling discovery: Magic is real!

With notes to learn from and an anonymous letter addressed to her, she begins to investigate strange occurrences at her school.

What she finds is more than she bargained for, for better and for worse.
Chapters (13)
On Hiatus Published: Aug 3rd, 2022 Download
25,734 words
Comments ( 21 )
gapty
gapty #1 · Aug 5th, 2022 · · · Uncertain Friendships(?) ·
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Alright, I am currently at the second chapter and find the story so far interesting, although it was confusing for me at first what exactly was going on, especially with the bully part since Applejack seemed not reluctant to be with Sunset, but with the second chapter it's now clearer to me.

Nonetheless, I like the idea of not "the" Sunset Shimmer and the EqG characters being introduced to enchanted objects in that style. :twilightsmile:

One thing I noticed:

Rainbow's glare remained, but she bit her tongue. Sunset shifted in her seat and tried to relax, but the tension remained. Why was this harder than fighting animated ribbons trying to strange her?

Must be strangle

Luminous Comet
Luminous Comet #2 · Aug 5th, 2022 · · · Uncertain Friendships(?) ·
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11322395
Right you are! Must have missed that on the last read-through. Thanks for the heads-up.
And thanks for reading.

Skipping the pony pun
Skipping the pony pun #3 · Aug 7th, 2022 · · · Welcome to the Magic Club ·
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I like how you've characterized Pinkie Pie here. Her randomness is both an advantage and a hindrance to the other characters, as it should be. Her antics are a bother, but not annoying to read. She's weird and hyper without being straight-up nuts. It adds to this chapter.

Luminous Comet
Luminous Comet #4 · Aug 7th, 2022 · · · Welcome to the Magic Club ·
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11323572
I'm really glad to hear that, since Pinkie is the one I think about the most in terms of writing.
Though it's the next chapter where I really hope I got her right.

gapty
gapty #5 · Aug 14th, 2022 · · · Find the Magic ·
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I liked that chapter and all the small objects coming to live and our heroes defeating them plus them getting now the new abilities. It didn't feel rushed for me and the flow was good ^^

"Yeah, except no one's gonna believe us," Applejack pointed out.

Jumping props and balls would be noticeable, unless they did it during a time no one would see them. But otherwise I doubt that, even if no one saw them, after showing off their own magic no one would believe them :twilightsheepish:

Dalek-Galvo
Dalek-Galvo #6 · Aug 20th, 2022 · · · Love Bites ·
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Wow, this is a really good story, keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

Luminous Comet
Luminous Comet #7 · Aug 21st, 2022 · · · Love Bites ·
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11337860
Thank you so much! It's this kind of feedback that is the most motivating.

-newt-
-newt- #8 · Mar 10th, 2023 · · · Answers and Questions ·
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I'm really enjoying this story, and the fresh perspective it offers on these characters. I hope you're planning on continuing it!

Luminous Comet
Luminous Comet #9 · Mar 16th, 2023 · · · Answers and Questions ·
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11526404
I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it.
I'm not entirely happy with this anymore, but I haven't abandoned it either.
My approach to writing has changed and I'm considering to either keep writing or to try again from the beginning eventually.
I'm actively working on other stories, but sooner or later, I will revisit this story, or something in its spirit.
So, I'm sorry to say, probably not too soon.

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #10 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · School Night ·
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Weeks of work led her to some understanding and some successful experiments, but most of the contents were still impenetrable. And the mystery that was nagging at her the most was the letter. Or rather, the identity of its sender.

I have a good feeling who it might be, but I'm not gonna jinx it. :applejackunsure:

Sunset followed a few steps behind her, biting the inside of her cheek. She knew Rarity, not especially well, but well enough for the news to be distressing. Especially if the feeling in the back of her mind was what she thouht it was. "Okay, that's definitely more important. If she was working on costumes, I'll check the Crafts classrooms."

what she thought it was.*

A flashlight would have absolutely been preferable. She could have brought one, easily, but no, she needed to show off how great she was at making flames now. Show off to no one but herself. She groaned at herself and closed her palm, smothering the flame, before pulling out her phone instead to use its light.

Wait, did she make that flame from her bare hands!?!? :applejackconfused:

Now that they had come this far, she might as well bite the bullet. Sunset quickly pulled herself out of the ribbons, muttering a single word. "Magic."

I'm guessing the Magic affected the outfit Rarity made or her fabrics that ended up attacking Sunset? :unsuresweetie:

"Rarity, get over here!" Her eyes darted aside, seeking Applejack's own, but they snapped back to the fabric under he needle. Her lips trembled but no words came out.

under the needle.*

A long, tense moment passed, before the ribbons loosened and slipped off of her. With an exasperated sigh, Rarity slumped forward. Applejack quickly had her arms around her and her friend's weight shifted against her chest.

Ok, maybe it was the sewing machine that did it. :fluttershysad:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #11 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · Uncertain Friendships(?) ·
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"My best guess is... the sewing machine was enchanted." She scratched the back of her head. By herself, thinking things through, it all made sense to her. But saying this kind of thing out loud still sounded ridiculous. "She couldn't stop, even though she wanted to."

Sure explains everything. :applejackunsure:

A perfectly clean room. Each desk but one was set with a sewing machine. Mannequins stood against one wall, shelves with rolls of fabric and boxes of ribbons against another. A single pair of scissors seemed to be the only thing out of its place.

Why am I not surprised thos was gonna happen. :facehoof:

She tensed. She wasn't really ready yet, but as she followed AJ's gesture, sure enough, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were heading for their table and just as she looked up, she locked eyes with the tall, skinny girl, who seemed to try and hide behind her friend, letting her hair fall into her face.

No turning back now. :fluttershysad:

"Hey, you guys! I was sooo busy all morning that I couldn't talk to Miss Harshwhinny before class, so I had to do it after class, and then saw a bunch of flowers on the way here and I thought 'Oh, hey, sugar flowers on that cake!' so I sat down to draw the flowers and I completely forgot it was lunch, but now I finally made it! Please tell me I didn't miss anything important!" Pinkie looked between her friends before her expression dropped. "Aww, dang it!"

You had it coming Pinkie. :ajsmug:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #12 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · Team Spirit ·
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"Oh, um... that's Commander Hurricane," Fluttershy said quietly, carrying a jump rope back while rolling it up. "I think they still bring him out sometimes, but Crystal Prep used to steal the costume after competitions, so..." She trailed off, her enthusiasm dimming out again quickly.

That explains things... :twilightoops:

They looked back to Commander Hurricane, finally squeezing himself through the very tight gap between a shelf and a ball crate, dragging behind him an unravelled badminton net that had gotten caught on his wing.

Welp, the magic is back! :raritydespair:

Sunset hesitated for a moment. She might have a shot, but with both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy so close, setting it on fire would just end disastrously. She could only hope that her contingency might work. "Rainbow Dash! I have a plan, but can you hold it on your own!?"

Something tells me she's gonna be screwed if the mascot gets destroyed. :applecry:

The stiff weight of Hurricane's body slammed into her chest and knocked both the wind out of her lungs and her back onto the floor. The hockey stick went clattering aside. Awkwardly, Hurricane pushed itself back up to lurch in Fluttershy's direction again...

https://m.

As soon as the tension started to go, Fluttershy couldn't stop the tears, but they came softly and quietly. She was sitting in the girls' changing room on a bench, clutching the arm of Rainbow Dash to one side of her and with Sunset on the other, only sitting close enough so she could carefully draw a rune on the sleeve of her sweater, more smoothly now.

I don't blame Fluttershy for feeling that way. Seeing something like that must've been scary as hell. I'd probably react the same way she felt. :pinkiesad2:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #13 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · Welcome to the Magic Club ·
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"Did somebody say magic!? The Great and Powerful Trixie will show you the true meaning of the word!" With a flourish, she retrieved a hand of cards from somewhere inside the night-blue cape she had thrown over her shoulders. "You, Squeaky One, pick any of Trixie's--"

Just what they needed. :ajbemused:

Trixie shrunk back and smiled sheepishly. "Oh. I'm sorry." Dropping her persona, she quickly turned away and instead caught up with a few other students on the way out, starting her spiel over again.

That was... odd? :unsuresweetie:

"Goo'bye, Sunset, see ya at work!"

They work at the same place I'm guessing? :applejackconfused:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #14 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · Pinkie Party ·
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Sunset couldn't quite remember when she had last been invited to a friend's place. Sophomore year, maybe, before she had messed things up with Lyra and Bon Bon. Since then, sure, she'd been to Flash's place a few times, but that had been different. Awkwardly different.

So then she's currently in her junior of senior year of high school? :unsuresweetie:

"Ooh, best new friend EV-AR!" Pinkie leapt at her and pulled her into a tight hug. And surprisingly, now, Sunset didn't mind the sudden over-affection as much. "Put it in, put it in!"

This reminds me of something similar a fimfict friend of mine did for one of his stories. :ajsmug:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #15 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · Sunset, Magic, and other Hurdles ·
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"Everyone deserves a second chance, Rainbow. And she apologised. Now that doesn't mean we should just forget, but if she really wants to be better, someone needs to give her a chance." She took what Rainbow was carrying and added it to her own stack. "Besides, I don't think the old Sunset would've helped ya'll like she did."

Exactly, she's turned over a new leaf. :applejackunsure:

Rainbow Dash buried her hands in her pockets and kicked a loose branch, looking out over the farm. "Okay, if you say so. Doesn't mean I have to like it. ... So, what kind of awesome magic do you think she can teach us!?"

it... So,*

"Hey, I can learn if I really want to! Do you think it could make me fly!? Or shoot lightning!?"

The first one likely, second no. :ajbemused:

A soft chittering followed with the little parakeet she was watching for her brother landing on her shoulder. "Oh, of course it's difficult for me, Miss Chicory. But I think she hasn't had any friends this whole time. I never see her talking to anyone else and she always sits alone at lunch. I feel so sorry for her."

And like AJ said, everyone deserves a second chance. :fluttershysad:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #16 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · Find the Magic ·
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There was an uncertain pause, finally broken by Pinkie. "Wow-wee, three in one day? I'm finally not missing out!"

But it's getting worse now!!! :raritydespair:

"I'm not going to lose to a disembodied knife," Sunset huffed, quickly looking at the shallow cut in her palm. It wasn't worse than a papercut, but still more than any school theatre prop should even do.

At least she's not to seriously hurt. :fluttershysad:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #17 · Jul 27th, 2023 · · · Chasing Clouds ·
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Sunset hadn't dressed up, but at least she had changed her style up a bit, wearing a short blue dress and jeans under a lighter jacket. A more casual style she pulled off rather well and that wouldn't stand out too much. Though her hair would stand out as it always did, not much to do about that on short notice.

:rainbowderp:

Sunset sighed, resting her chin on her palm. "I'm not sure. I'm reevaluating a lot of things. Considering if I should try and fix things up. Not just with Flash, but some other people too. But so much crazy stuff is happening. I thought I could just decide to be better and then go it step by step, but turns out I hurt myself too, more than I realised. And it took Pinkie of all people to make me notice."

Sure must be a lot to handle. :fluttershysad:

"Because, Sugar, you're the least stealthy person I could imagine."

Not surprised. :ajsmug:

"But waiting is killing me!" Rainbow shouted.

Patience is often the key for many things Dash. :duck:

Sunset seemed to notice at the same time and they both stepped out of hiding. Cloudchaser flinched, suddenly noticing them, and looked up. Her lips were coated in blood and so was Fluttershy's neck, staining the collar of her dress.

The ends of the scarf beat like wings and pushed her off the ground and up towards the roof of the mall. Instead of landing there, her wings beat again and she darted across the sky above them. Rarity's mouth was left agape, trying to parse what was happening, until Sunset grabbed her shoulder, shaking her lightly.

Wow... :pinkiegasp:

She ran as fast as she could, panic pushing her ahead. Every couple steps, she leapt, getting quite a bit of distance, like she was hovering over the ground, before her feet touched down again. She didn't have time to think about it. She pushed off the ground harder and reached the roof of a car, kicking off that as well and managing to sail up to the roof of a small house. She could cut across streets this way. She'd make it to school in no time.

Looks like Dash got her wish. :twilightsmile:

"I'm sorry," Flitter repeated, straining against Dash's grip to speak, "But I have to protect my sister right now!"

How is this protecting!!!! :twilightangry2:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #18 · Jul 28th, 2023 · · · Love Bites ·
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"Don't worry, I got this," Pinkie wheezed as she came in behind her. She stomped her feet and the floor around her was lit up by pink and blue LED lights from the soles of her sneakers.

Better than nothing i suppose. :applejackunsure:

Rarity took a deep breath but kept following despite her obvious exhaustion. With her behind her, Sunset moved up to the library doors. A quick glance inside gave her a surprisingly clear overview.

I think it would sound a lot better if it said 'With Rarity behind her' over 'With her behind her' that just sounds odd. :applejackconfused:

"Her tricks were gettin' weirdly good lately," Applejack said slowly.

Wait, so Trixie was behind it all!!! :pinkiegasp: But, how she'd get them to be all enchanted?!?! :unsuresweetie: And how did Flitter and her sister become vampires!! :applecry:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #19 · Jul 28th, 2023 · · · Great and Powerful ·
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"Why do you know how to do this?" Rarity asked pointedly as she took her hairpin back. Sunset just shrugged and avoided answering, quietly stepping inside.

Probably best not to ask. :unsuresweetie:

Set around the base of Trixie's neck was a thick necklace, flat against her skin. A wide band of black metal links, coming to a shield-like piece in the front, in which was embedded a red gem, glinting even in the darkness of the hallway. A stylised horned horse's head and spread wings stood out from the central piece.

Oh no... it's the alicorn amulet!!! :raritydespair:

"Quiet." Trixie pointed at Pinkie and two colourful handkerchiefs slipped from her sleeve, leaping towards her. Rarity raised both hands, creating a wide hexagon the flying cloth slapped against, before ineffectively fluttering to the floor.

Woah! :pinkiegasp:

"For trying to be secretive, you were pretty sloppy!" Sunset strode straight towards the door, her thumb and middle finger already coming together for a snap. In the last moment before she stepped through, Pinkie grabbed her arms and pulled her back. Simultaneously, Rarity stepped into her space instead, holding up her shield. An open pair of handcuffs slapped against it and fell to the floor, quickly followed by two juggling pins that landed with heavy thuds.

Where'd the handcuffs come from? :applejackconfused:

Something clamped around her legs, forcing her shins together, and she stumbled and fell, hitting the floor with her chest and chin. It was carpeted, but not enough to make it painless. She looked over her shoulder to see her own jacket, wrapped around her shins, the sleeves tying themselves like a straitjacket.

straight jacket.*

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #20 · Jul 28th, 2023 · · · Interlude: Communion of Shadows ·
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I wonder who those 2 mysterious people were? :unsuresweetie:

ScisetShimmerEvan
ScisetShimmerEvan #21 · Jul 28th, 2023 · · · Answers and Questions ·
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Apparently Trixie had been in a similar panic. In retrospect, everything she did suddenly seemed a lot less reasonable than when she was wearing the amulet. Or so she had explained. For now, Sunset had wrapped the thing in a dish cloth and shoved it into the back of her dresser. Out of sight, out of mind. Hopefully. There were no magic authorities she was aware of, otherwise she might have rather handed it over.

She should've destroyed it! :twilightangry2:

Flash, Lyra, and everyone else they had charmed kept acting like they did before, kept coming to school. Talking to Flash was too awkward, so Sunset tried talking to Lyra instead. It was meandering, between reminiscing and dancing around the fact they really weren't friends anymore. When Sunset could finally bring up the night in question directly, Lyra seemed confused, vaguely aware of something having happened but unable to recall details, like it had been bad dream.

had been a bad dream.*

One thing Flitter left with Sunset was a small stack of neatly-written notes. She went through all of them herself, but they were intended for Fluttershy. Details about her new condition, advice on how to deal with it, tinted with remorse and threaded with apologies, which seemed to come easier in writing, even if they felt empty considering what they were apologising for.

Guess there's no cure then... :pinkiesad2:

Still, Sunset felt strange about taking it easy. No more enchantments popped up at school, but she couldn't quite call this case closed yet. Neither the notebook nor the amulet would have come from nowhere. In both cases, someone left them with her and Trixie. And in the case of the book, someone must have written it initially, someone who knew her personally for some reason.

I'm not sure when this story will continue but I do want to see more of this story. And if Sci Twi might appear. I mean, it wouldn't make sense this story has the Main 7 tag I feel it's just Sunset and the human 5. Still, hope to see more of this in the future. :twilightsmile:

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