First of all, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for the fact that you are often an inspiration for me for the idea of a new story. And I want everyone to know that if it wasn't for you, this story might not have existed. It was you who suggested to me the character who will have to play the main role. We are talking about Vinyl Scratch. And it was because of this mare that I was able to come up with the basis of the plot. As a result, it began to grow into something more than just a porn story of 5 thousand words.
I'm proud to have a friend like you.
Yeah! I didn't let the plot go in the trash. And as a result, I already have a good plan, which is slightly corrected during writing. But it must be a difficult story, in the truest sense of the word.
Maybe I'm not writing the perfect story... But I'm trying! And with your comment, you just gave me your bonus to acceleration and fantasy.
And now the answers to your questions.
Firstly, the story of the main character begins with "real time" (according to the plot plan).
The main character himself is exactly that formed Personality, with his manners, level of intelligence, and other capabilities. And he knows that there is exactly the way to eliminate his problem, which is written in the plot. (all people are different, for many reasons)
Let's imagine a situation where the main character is a researcher. Then the story would have developed according to a different scenario. And it would be another "Alternate Universe" and they are not counted! (I have the corresponding TAG). And one more thing! He had not seen any other princesses except Luna at that time, according to the plot. And we also need to take into account that even a princess is not omnipotent. Otherwise, any world building, in any plot, will fly under the tail of Fleur Dis Lee!
For all other questions, I just ask you to wait for patience. It is necessary for each to go their own way, to get what they want. Minuette is no exception.
I'm very surprised how these mares lived all their life together without a stallion or without being naughty with each other! I guess they tease each other, but I seriously doubt that's enough. I guess they can help themselves on their own in times of heat. I like that you mentioned Lyra as another musician that can be interested in this male. Hell I imagine there might be many others that might be as well. If they really haven't done anything naughty between each other. I feel like Arhip has to help them overcome THAT problem! They just need a little push to start seeing each other as more then just friends!
11289793 I'm glad you didn't let this plot go in the trash. It was too good to abandon! Granted it's slightly different in some aspects. But things that are cut might end up in another story someday. Who knows. Still the main character is destined to deal with quite a few VERY sexy ponies! Hope he is able to make them all happy!
Всего несколько дней не смотрел, а ты вон уже сколько накатал. А мне ведь еще про Харта читать.
What I heard made me feel nervous again. Because... In fact, I'm doing the same thing. Only when I'm home alone! "Em... pravada? Go on, I'm interested."
I don't mean to cross a line, so tell me if I am, but this is a genuine suggestion. (Also, I should mention that I haven't finished reading this chapter yet, but this part stuck out to me)
A new, more advanced installation of the DJ console, which has become even more perfect in terms of saving magical energy. And numerous crystal sensors are able to adapt to the rhythm of music and create color effects. So all the dancing guests will have the opportunity to learn to dance better. Even if they don't succeed at all. Hmm... I still have to deal with the instructions that the dragons probably wrote!
This section would sound infinitely better if you just made a few small changes. I understand that this still gets the message across, but something like this flows much better:
A new, advanced installation of the DJ console, which has gotten even better at saving energy. Numerous crystal sensors are able to create a magical audio visualizer that always amazes audiences. Every dancing guest will have a chance to improve their dancing skills, even if they don't succeed at all. Hmm... I still have to deal with instructions that the dragons probably wrote!
All I did was trim out some of the unnecessary words and change things to sound smoother, like turning "So all the dancing guests will have the opportunity to learn to dance better" into "Every dancing guest will have a chance to improve their dancing skills". It still has the same meaning, but I find it a bit easier to read.
Even ignoring that, the main thing I want you to consider here is using proper terms. Specifically, changing "numerous crystal sensors are able to adapt to the rhythm of the music and create color effects" into "numerous crystal sensors are able to create a magical audio visualizer". What you wrote still works, but by using the proper term, you make the character look like they really know what they're talking about, and you make yourself look more knowledgeable.
Finally finished chapter two. I think this was a bit better than the first one! I always appreciate good character depth, and I can tell something great is starting here.
11289679
Greetings, my friend.
First of all, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for the fact that you are often an inspiration for me for the idea of a new story. And I want everyone to know that if it wasn't for you, this story might not have existed. It was you who suggested to me the character who will have to play the main role. We are talking about Vinyl Scratch. And it was because of this mare that I was able to come up with the basis of the plot. As a result, it began to grow into something more than just a porn story of 5 thousand words.
I'm proud to have a friend like you.
Yeah! I didn't let the plot go in the trash. And as a result, I already have a good plan, which is slightly corrected during writing. But it must be a difficult story, in the truest sense of the word.
Maybe I'm not writing the perfect story... But I'm trying! And with your comment, you just gave me your bonus to acceleration and fantasy.
And now the answers to your questions.
Firstly, the story of the main character begins with "real time" (according to the plot plan).
The main character himself is exactly that formed Personality, with his manners, level of intelligence, and other capabilities. And he knows that there is exactly the way to eliminate his problem, which is written in the plot. (all people are different, for many reasons)
Let's imagine a situation where the main character is a researcher. Then the story would have developed according to a different scenario. And it would be another "Alternate Universe" and they are not counted! (I have the corresponding TAG). And one more thing! He had not seen any other princesses except Luna at that time, according to the plot. And we also need to take into account that even a princess is not omnipotent. Otherwise, any world building, in any plot, will fly under the tail of Fleur Dis Lee!
For all other questions, I just ask you to wait for patience. It is necessary for each to go their own way, to get what they want. Minuette is no exception.
I'm very surprised how these mares lived all their life together without a stallion or without being naughty with each other! I guess they tease each other, but I seriously doubt that's enough. I guess they can help themselves on their own in times of heat.
I like that you mentioned Lyra as another musician that can be interested in this male. Hell I imagine there might be many others that might be as well.
If they really haven't done anything naughty between each other. I feel like Arhip has to help them overcome THAT problem! They just need a little push to start seeing each other as more then just friends!
11289793
I'm glad you didn't let this plot go in the trash. It was too good to abandon! Granted it's slightly different in some aspects. But things that are cut might end up in another story someday. Who knows.
Still the main character is destined to deal with quite a few VERY sexy ponies! Hope he is able to make them all happy!
Всего несколько дней не смотрел, а ты вон уже сколько накатал.
А мне ведь еще про Харта читать.
Это ошибка переводчика или Винил по русски могёт?
I don't mean to cross a line, so tell me if I am, but this is a genuine suggestion. (Also, I should mention that I haven't finished reading this chapter yet, but this part stuck out to me)
This section would sound infinitely better if you just made a few small changes. I understand that this still gets the message across, but something like this flows much better:
All I did was trim out some of the unnecessary words and change things to sound smoother, like turning "So all the dancing guests will have the opportunity to learn to dance better" into "Every dancing guest will have a chance to improve their dancing skills". It still has the same meaning, but I find it a bit easier to read.
Even ignoring that, the main thing I want you to consider here is using proper terms. Specifically, changing "numerous crystal sensors are able to adapt to the rhythm of the music and create color effects" into "numerous crystal sensors are able to create a magical audio visualizer". What you wrote still works, but by using the proper term, you make the character look like they really know what they're talking about, and you make yourself look more knowledgeable.
Finally finished chapter two. I think this was a bit better than the first one! I always appreciate good character depth, and I can tell something great is starting here.