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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh Dash, sometimes you're to loyal for your own good. Maybe Rarity can help Rainbow be free.
This is great. it still astounds me the amount of feelings written text can hold.
Excellent as always. Dash's flying revelation about wanting to stay loyal to Soarin didn't hit as hard mainly because I've read the abridged version, but the added Rarity monologue bits more than made up for it. You're a master wordsmith who always nails the correct tone for each part, and still you manage to make the reader feel little pangs of pain as you spoon-feed us what Rarity is thinking. Despite how 'slice-of-lifey' and 'feelgood' Rarity and Dash's day was, they both still felt like shit by the end of it.
Catharsis incoming...
Already know the ending, but I'm more than curious about the added dots in between. You're going strong, Gardez. Lovin' it.
Shesh, if Dash is any example, pegasi seem to be only about three quarters civilized at best. Maybe half considering the whipped cream incident.
Now that's just mean Rarity, I'm sure Snails is a nice young stallion at this point.
Hmn, never really occurred to me, but I suppose it makes sense that pony hair styling could be a bit more of an involved process considering the full body coat and everything.
Oh hell yeah, dat flying routine. Seems like aside from the last 6 months or so, Dash's skills have done nothing but get even better. We need fan art of that ending trick stat.
Oh my god Twilight, never change.
Damn, poor Dash.
Beautiful and touching... keep on keeping on!!
Yay! I did a little dance in my seat when I saw that this had updated. You're still awesome, as always. This is the shipping/recovery fic with the best pacing I've ever seen - heck of any fic it has some of the best pacing I've ever seen. I love how you include all of the different characters and yet still keep the focus on Rarity and Dash, much like the show does when it has a specific character-centric episode while including snippets of the others. Anywho, still loving this - it really should have more attention
what a relief
It feels like the worse is done, all the way until now i had this fear that things might just go bad and even sadder! Love this story
Amazing. The quality and depth of the character development in this story is mind boggling. Poor Dashie...
Oh Dash...
So sad ;_;
The ending of chapter 7 was flawless. Good redo, can't wait for the rest of it and then some.
Absolutely brilliant.
There are a lot of things I love about this fic, but one of them is how you depict future Ponyville. You hit just the right balance between 'things have moved on' and 'thing have stayed the same'. It's very nostalgic.
The whole fic is like that, actually. There's this very palpable tension between anguish and comfort that underlies the entire thing.
Tense is the right word. If I had to describe how this fic feels in broad terms, it's springs coiled up in your chest.
And, you write 'ponies just hang out and talk about nothing' scenes better than anyone.
I love this chapter so much that it makes me sad at the same time that it's getting closer to the end of the story
I really feel like the wait for this chapter was totally worth it. The ending made me feel sad for poor RD I can't wait for more.
Every bit as good between the lines as in them. Bravo.
cliffhanger woes
Oh man, this is 5/8 from the original Salvation, already past the half way point. No matter how this story ends, I'll be sad to see it's over.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter I hope they get together they defiantly seem to work well Great ship of them and it is a Rarity to see them together Keep it up never read the original so all of it is new for me.
I love how you have Dash eating like a bird and a horse, like in the breakfast scene. It makes sense for pegasi to have wild metabolism.
Also, this paragraph here:
Oh, Rares... how can you be so thoughtful and perceptive when it comes to other ponies, and so clueless and unforgiving when it comes to yourself? "Generosity was easy", yeah right.
beautifull and profound, i cant wait till the next update
Hey Cold, don't mean to be a stick in the mud, but I found this:
It should be "unconquerable", I think. Sorry, it was just bugging me.
Absolutely love the heart-in-a-box imagery. The entire chapter is phenomenal, and I'm left in actual awe in your work. Only you, Cold, only you have been able to really make me feel what the characters feel. Other authors come very close, but you're the only one who gets it.
1689388
Hey, good catch. The program I was using didn't recognize "unconquerable" as a word at all, so I didn't realize the base word was misspelled.
This is genuinely making me homesick for my little hometown.
Well done.
cant wait for the next one!
great characters and tempo, well done
Amazing. Truly amazing. You took a material and added a great deal of depth and emotion. You clearly understand how to write very difficult feelings and conflict. Please continue, and please consider writing professionally. You have either honed a sharp skill or you have a gift. Nicely done.
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They were starting small.
Like, really small.
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I hope so!
Are you going to really say 'wad of bits'? (chp 7) Only minted money is depicted in the show. I admire people who cross canon to develop deeper and more complex stories but you are killing me here. Coins cannot be wadded. I'm only complaining because I care.
I know my compliments are somewhat superfluous giving that EVERYTHING you publish is so good. I have to say this is my favorite thing you've written. This story is simply astounding on every level, but mostly the characterization is beyond reckoning. The way you write the ponies is very relatable, and they react in realistic human ways in the face of these hardships. The previous chapter especially seemed very real to me, I've spent a few sleepless nights in a hospital waiting room. Outside of that, your prose is living and palpable, and it goes without saying that the plot is great. I can't wait to see what happens next.
And they're right about not going home again
Should "make" be "mane"? It doesn't make sense as it is.
Holy Celestia! The masturbation couch has become Rarity! And is sleeping on itself . . . or . . . something like that? Did it have to make an offering to itself? Is Rarity's previous offering still in effect?
Alright, alright, enough silly questions. I am, after all, the sole oracle of the legend of the masturbation couch, so I have all the answers. As of last night, the masturbation couch had enough bodily fluids to bud off a new creature, in the form of the greatest contributor of fluids (which proves Sweetie rarely if ever needs to sleep on the couch, since each offering is only in effect for one night). The faux-pony gets a free pass on its first night, as a side effect of the spawning process, which is convenient for it as it initially possesses no bodily fluids other than the offerings that went into making it, and the masturbation couch does not tend to wait until it can give its child more than the absolute minimum of fluids required to emulate life. The creation's first goal is to find its original, kill her, steal all her bodily fluids for itself (yes, including blood, mucus, tears, et cetera; absolutely everything), and replace her. Normally, it would set out on its quest after a good night's sleep, but with Rarity being just upstairs, the replica probably took care of that, and disposed of the body in addition, before it slept. Less chance of discovery that way, you see. The skin of a couch-spawn without additional fluids feels like poking a pile of baseball gloves, so if anypony happens to touch it before it has completed its first quest, they are likely to recognize that it is more of a golem than a pony.
And now you know more about the masturbation couch. I hope this information will serve you well in life.
Really, Rarity? Have you been away so long you've forgotten which family founded this town? Granny Smith wouldn't allow oranges to be grown in her domain. "And how's that old mare going to make me obey?" I hear you ask. Clearly you've never had AJ and Big Mac show up at your door, saying how nice a house you have and what a shame it would be if all the structural supports mysterious broke in the middle of the night. Which is to say, AJ says that while Big Mac "accidentally" kicks down one of your trees with one leg.
But seriously, yeah it's almost certainly local produce. Ponyville'd be the laughingstock of all the other earth pony towns if it were caught importing produce.
Didn't you ask her the other day? And she said she'd tell you tomorrow?
This is good. This is symbolic. Soarin's death has been holding you down both figuratively and literally for half a year. To put aside the lighter half of those shackles, whether it sticks or is still only temporary, is a step towards freedom. It required a loosening of the other side, after all.
They won't let you build and blow up potentially deadly storms directly above audiences? What fascists!
This chapter I see was released shortly after "One Bad Apple," so of course I cannot expect it to have been written with consideration of Lightning Dust and a past experiences with a dangerous tornado. But I can still say that Dash would not do that trick above Rarity if she was not confident it was safe. Though I suppose "Rarity gets sucked up into a tornado and then I catch her and bring her back to the ground unharmed" still qualifies as "safe." So perhaps not quite as safe for a larger audience.
Well, she's more realistic. She may have thought things like enchanting her doll to make it irresistible or calling her brother's fiancee "evil" quite suddenly in front of her family and friends were good ideas, but she still knows better than to fix her hopes upon a single stallion who is far out of her league, has only bad memories of her, and lives in a different city and then pass the time waiting for him to miraculously fall into her lap with a series of one-night stands that only fuel her self-loathing. Even Pinkie couldn't make that little sense if she tried.
I believe the word you're looking for is "sex," not "love." "Not alone" does not mean—oh, sorry, you wanted to speak, voices? Well, then, by all means.
Yeah, what she said. And waking up in somepony else's bed every morning is a pretty weak criterion for "not alone."
But close, I hope? I shudder to think of what would happen if you needed reining in and Spike wasn't around. You know you need him to keep you sane.
You know, it just occurred to me that this story could be taken as offensive. Because what's Rarity's plan for her love life? To wait for Prince Charming to come sweep her off her hooves. That's very traditional. Very passive. And episodes like "A Dog and Pony Show" make it clear that one may be a refined lady without being a passive puppet propelled through life purely by the preferences of others, and Rarity indeed isn't. This is one of the archetypes that Faust was specifically avoiding, if I'm not mistaken, seeing as it is far too widespread and unpleasantly traditional in fiction. So Faust would not approve of Rarity's life choices.
Especially the meaningless sex that makes Rarity hate herself, because really who would argue that regularly engaging in a behavior that seriously lowers your self-esteem is a healthy way to conduct your life?
For you, anything dirty is easy to imagine. I could just tell you, "do Spike next." Or Fluttershy. Or Princess Celestia. And you wouldn't be able to not imagine it, as soon as the idea was put in your head.
I'd probably have just been putting ideas in my own head if I didn't have such a poor imagination for such matters. Getting better, sadly, but at least that proves that it is a piece of innocence I can lose, thus validating my choice to deliberately hang on to it.
And here I did not realize there was a correct answer to "is a unicorn horn an erogenous zone?" until I was suddenly presented with it.
And that, right there, is the greatest threat to your sanity. You couldn't forget him if you tried, and you wouldn't want to. We both know this. But you can't keep dwelling on his death. It's not healthy, and it's not what he would have wanted. The second part of this, too, we both know. The first part, maybe not. It's harder to read. So you must learn to live again. You must realize, deep down inside, that it is not your fault you are alive and he is not, that nothing you can do will affect how dead he is, and that it is no sin to make the most of your life after his death. The other way lies madness.
A fine point. A virtue may come naturally to you. It may be so deeply ingrained that you could not betray it if you tried. Or it may not. But if you think your virtue is categorically easy, you are not virtuous. And generosity is one of the easier virtues to get wrong. So many forget that generosity is not meaningful unless it has value on both ends. You must give something the recipient wants or needs, and most do remember that, but you must also give such that there is a cost to you. If you are missing the second part, it's not generosity, it's just obeying a clear moral imperative.
On the subject of which, more people should donate blood regularly. It's something you can very easily replace, and it can save lives. I cannot call blood donation a virtue, but I can certainly call the lack thereof a vice.
Kiss her.
No, don't. That was a joke. I do not think this is the time. I do not know what would happen, but it could go quite poorly.
Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll be taking a week's break from this story. Suffice it to say that I can be a bit neurotic about people looking over my shoulder, and for the coming week I would tend to fear that somebody is going to look at my screen and see a raunchy bit. Because I'm a bit neurotic sometimes.
So, see you later.
I'm actually really curious about what happened to Spike.
4591168 What happened? He is growing, and moved into his own house...
That.
That was gorgeous. An amazing chapter, with a lot of really feel-good advances. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Bucking Tabby crashed and erased an hour error of fixes. Most I'm not redoing (so, many paragraphs), but I will say this.
Scroll through this chapter, and please fix where you don't space your paragraphs, and where you have thoughts unspaced like you have like the rest of the fic. You can't miss them. Thank you.
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mane
___________________
I hate it when my Tabby's doing fine, then in the middle of a fic it crashes and looses everything I was doing. But yeah this chapter's paragraph spacing was bad. You have two instances of three paragraphs stacked ontop of each other. Numerous instances where unline previous chapters thoughts are resting beneath a paragraph rather than being given a line of their own. That's not counting other parahraphs that got lumped together (A few).
But despite those, this was still an interesting chapter. And will be even better with a bit of spacing where it's needed.
move down a line.
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hooves
__________________
mane
[this error has been up for over two years .]
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Welp I did say that the errors I didn't want to redo pointing out were unmissable, and too many paragraphs. Way, way to many paragraphs.
Still a good fic. One of my favorite RariDash's. Although, how come you fix some errors, yet leave others to stand for years on end? Even when other peeps (other than myself) point them out?
I dunno, something about that, I really like!
1678825
"There's this very palpable tension between anguish and comfort that underlies the entire thing."
That's a better description than I could come up with for the excellent tone balance in this story.