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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Glad to see one of my favorite stories continuing.
And it continues! Woohoo! *commence reading*
Update!
It's good to see this story continue for it is a very good story and I love it so much, it may have been a while since the last update but well worth the wait.
Woo hoo! Still loving it!
It lives! w00t!
I eagerly await the impending RariDash sexytimes.
One of my favorite stories? Updating? Yes!
One of my favorite stories? Still reducing me to tears? Y...y-yes...? Yay?
Its been said already, but I feel the need to say it again. This was incredibly short considering the wait. I know you are busy with real life, and I'm not saying to drop everything for this story, by any means. I was just disappointed at the length. I saw an update in my favorites and thought "eh, I'll check it later." When I did, I saw it was this amazing masterpiece. I didn't even check the word count or scroll bar on the side to guage the length, and jumped right in. Not 15 minutes later, I was done... I love this story, I was just expecting more, I guess.
Well, anyway, all that aside, keep up the great work
Yaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
All things considered, that could have gone worse for Dash and Rare. Great to see this going again.
Actually, it would have been interesting if rainbow got super pissed at rarity cause she feels betrayed
I did not expect Dash to react so well, helping rarity i get but after that i expected a very cold and very angry shoulder over the mixed love and anger.
Nothing blinds like rage and anger
God yes this is so good. Please update more often.
I really don't know what it is about this story that gets me so deep.
I preen over every single word like its the last gem in my family's mine, reel in joy when my eyes trail down a hair and realize there's another paragraph full of them. I want to read this again, pull it apart, analyze, rationalize, get my thoughts about it onto paper or something tangible, something I can give to people that will convince them to read because maybe they'll feel the same way about it that I do.
Fuck. I don't know. I hate reading stories that aren't finished. When a friend sent me in the direction of this story I almost didn't click the first chapter because I knew that. As soon as I did I regretted it immediately, because a couple paragraphs in I knew I would be ripping my hairs out waiting for this thing to finish. But you know what...?
I was wrong, really. The journey so far has been enough that, if you didn't write another word I'd look back and say it was all worth it, even with the ambiguity of the deed burning inside me. Hopefully you'll read this, though I can't expect my words will get into you as much as yours have gotten into me. This is the best attempt I've got at letting you know how much I appreciate your work, your ability to push through and do more stuff without being paid, without being able to tell your friends and family what you do (I don't know you, but that's the case for me), etc.
Thank you.
I really like how Rainbow's first reaction is worry over Rarity, making sure she's okay, and then finding out what the hell just happened. She doesn't jump to conclusions, she's willing to hear her out, but she's also smart enough to figure out what Rarity did.
And that's when she leaves.
Even after this betrayal, this invasion, she's still loyal enough to calm Rarity down before she walks away.
Applejack is amazing in this chapter. You've made all of the mane six completely believable as more mature versions of the ponies we see in the show. You've got a real knack for characters, and it's evident in everything you have them do or say.
Eeeeeeee! More Salvation! Lovely.
Oh, also, minor error, sorry:
Other than that, wonderful.
This story always gets me, You make all the characters seem so real, in all my years of reading fanfiction I've never read one that was so believable. Please, I want to see more. Or who knows what will happen.
Glad to see this is back, and the whole scene with Dash trying to break Rarity out of her post-nightmare was really quite something. AJ is of course right, Dash feels betrayed, but that's only because Rarity has gotten so close to her lately. We'll just have to see how this all plays out.
Huh, I have to admit that Rarity's reaction didn't occur to me, yet it seems so obvious in hindsight. For Dash it was a reliving of some particularly unpleasant events, but for Rarity it was completely new. I could definitely see her being somewhat emotionally traumatized about it.
I'm rather proud of Dash that she waited until Rarity wasn't panicking against the wall before getting angry.
(Random observation, as I write this, this is the only mature story in the Featured Box. Funny how people bitch that's it's always filled with clop.)
Well, totally worth waiting for, another intriguing chapter, albeit a bit short. Cannot wait to read it in its finished form!
Awright, it lives! Very nicely done. Now back to poor Rarity, please. She cannot be a happy mare right now.
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It was short, and I apologize for that. The second part will be out in probably the next few days (certainly over the weekend).
I've had a block on this story for a while, and I felt like I needed to get something out the door for momentum's sake.
After the dream part i feel as though the worst of the tension is gone, before that happened i was always with my heat tight, waiting for something horrible to happen.
Without a doubt worth the wait, block or not you certainly haven't lost your touch. A bit short, considering it's predecessor but still incredibly powerful. The decision to break this up into parts is a good one.
Yay! *reads the chapter* Well that was short but done well Rarity you were dumb in the first place to even consider that without asking It's like train wreck waiting to happen and all you can do is watch You really boched this one up Rarity I do hope Dash will find it in her heart to forgive Rarity, I would love to see them together not much pairing of those two I can't wait for Part 2 I WANT MOAR If that is alright with you
Nooooo, Rarity, nooo...
I felt like you kept Dash's emotional fragility and Rarity's 'best intentions' at the right level. I think you might've missed out on hitting the perfect note with her breaking down, but it's been so long since I read chapters 10-12, I can't really remember the proper emotional setup. I think it's a really important moment in the story - she's usually not much of a pony to show any emotion like that, and she's been bleeding out on the inside for the last few chapters, and she certainly hasn't gone to Applejack for 'help' before that point.
It's so nice to see you write more of this. It's still a personal favourite, after all this time. But I understand that it must be hard to make it as good as you want it, and that this story has some seriously deep feelings, expressed very well, which I know for a fact is hard as fuck to do, so I think I'm going to have to be very patient.
Good on you. Please consider releasing another chapter soon
edit: Ah, I just saw your comment... please don't feel rushed... you shouldn't feel pressured to finish things like this, man. It's a delicate thing that's hard to express and you haven't tripped up yet. Wait until you're in the right mindframe.
I liked it once its done im sure it will be a nice rounded story though im sorry I could not help every time rarity was talking or thinking. I kept thinking of Samantha from sex and the city it did not help me that her inner self keep calling her a slut lol (but that's my hang up im sure)
You, sir, are a GOD at writing. Keep it up.
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Haha, trust me, if that got you sad you will be bawling later.
Beautifully written - I love your ability to describe a scene, and Rarity's reaction to the dream was amazing to read.
My favorite part of this chapter is absolutely the image of Rarity - fresh from realizing that she didn't actually have a severed leg dangling from her - immediately holding and nuzzling Dash's healed leg and talking about her memories from the hospital. Perhaps I'm biased, but just that little visual really highlights for me the fact that despite Rarity's faults and mistakes, she still remains a sweet, caring, generous person at her core.
...says Best Pony.
many manly tears were shed that day because of this story
In an attempt to have something nice to fall asleep to, I've been copy-pasting one chapter of this a night into text edit and getting my computer to read this story to me. The story is so damn engaging though, that it's actually been keeping me awake and leaving me hanging on every word, even when those words are read in my computer's weird-ass Stephen Hawking voice. This is far and away the best romance fanfic I've read on this site, and I'd have a very hard time believing a better one has eluded me thus far. Please keep this story going, because you seem to have all the characters figured out perfectly in their relationship to the storyline.
You have a true talent, my friend. If and when the pony fad dies, I sincerely hope you keep writing elsewhere, because I feel like I'd honestly read a full-length novel by you (and I guarantee I'm not the only fan to feel this way).
I'd apologize about the essay-length post, but I'm not really sorry. Sorry I'm not sorry, I guess.
And THAT is why Rainbow is best pony. At first I expected her to flip the instant she woke up, but no, you're right, this is totally what her personality would make her do. She knew Rarity saw her dreams, she is obviously pissed at her, and yet she first helped Rarity to get over her shock before even attempting to be pissed at her.
Rainbow, Y U SO awesome
There isn't really much for me to say on how incredible this story is. Special consideration is given to the last chapter, which contains perhaps the greatest dream sequence I have ever read in all my years of reading fanfiction. The way you wrote Rainbow Dash in the end when she realized what was going on was nothing short of amazing, let alone the use of the previous dreams we have already heard in a different context.
And it's nice to see this continuing, because I am as anxious as I have ever been for any story to see what happens next.
I'm not sure how you were going to write all of this, but that whole dream sequence chapter they shared seemed like the climax to me.
Thanks for such an awesome story so far.
DJRD
Did you...change the description?
I...sort of liked it how it was.
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The old one had some passages I wasn't happy with. I'm getting ready to finish this story out, so I'm polishing up the little things like the description.
I may change it again. I was tired when I rewrote it.
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It's short for 'sugar.'
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Ah. I see.
Also OHMIGOSH Cold spoke to me!
I just finished reading the whole story over the weekend. (I typically download and read later offline)
This is an amazing work you have done. You have the ability to bring out real characters and as such, real feelings in the readers for them as they struggle through their choices.
You have some great lines "You done?" (I'm biased toward AJ)
Epic scenes, like Rainbow's first flight with Rarity watching. (though no signs of atrophy after 6 months and an injury?)
And now the shared dream sequence...
I am so glad I stumbled upon this story of yours. Thank you.
Now that we know what rainbow's problem is, what about rarity's?
I hope Rarity is okay...
"But ponies are judged not by their intentions but their deeds. For a Wonder Bolt it could be nothing else. When death stalked them at every turn, when it flew every maneuver at their wingtips, a pony’s intentions counted for nothing. Only their skill and courage and strength mattered. A pegasus who relied on her friend’s intentions to save her would survive only as long as it took to hit the ground."
Wow, Dash, harsh. But... kindness is hard. And she did so much already. I wonder what Fluttershy might say. Will say. And I have a guess or two what's going to happen.
Hope the writing's going well, whatever that might mean to you. Happy holidays!
Wow. It took me two days to catch up on this story. But now I want more!This piece is so glorious and really had me tear up at some parts. I love how you describe Dash - she has some unusually sensitive moments, but you are one of the few authors who manage to write that without making her out of character. And this last part!AJ, you are such a good friend!
This story is great. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I've thought that Dash and Rarity have more in common than is immediately obvious. Their dreams are on the same scale, they both want to be the best and be recognized for it. And they are probably the two most flawed of the six.
Can't wait for the next chapter
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I actually finished the next chapter a few minutes ago. Look for it this weekend.
Thanks for the link :)
I was expecting some hollow platitude on AJ's part, but she told the honest truth. Rarity really did betray RD there... I honestly expected more of her.
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Why'd you expect more from her? Honestly Rarity's actions are accurate portrayls of her as a character. Minus the tons of partners thing, believeable, but not something Ponyville Rarity has pulled yet looking for her prince.
I love these lines not only because of how raw and powerful they are, but also because of how well they fit in with your ideas of pegasi families and culture. The loss of one's parents don't mean nearly as much to a pegasus like Rainbow, while it would be soul-crushing for an earth pony such as Applejack.
for consistencies sake, you need to fix the AJ accent. Honestly with how you use "You" rather than "Ya", and "I" rather than "Ah" I'd just change "mah father's" to "my father's". And redo AJ's first appearance. Otherwise you have two chapters rather than one that need to be fixed up.
Thank goodness for AJ, the only pony in this town with a lick of sense.