Much like most griffons, Gallus is no stranger to exploiting every loophole he sees.
Even if it's to someone else's detriment.
After all, it's not his fault they didn't see it.
So when he gets an assignment aiming to practically sing the praises of Equestrian Generosity, he instead decides to prove that it only takes ten bits to destroy what most ponies hold dear.
Little does he know, Pinkie Pie's cupcakes are not meant to be trifled with.
Written for the Thousand Words Contest in the Experimental and Comedy categories.
Based, in part, on this article about cheesed sticks.
Howdy, hi~!
This was great. I definitely snorted at the end of it when Gallus stuck it to Ocellus. Loved the build-up and subtle nods to other fics. Was an interesting way of presenting the story with the coloured text and report style of writing. It was a fun fic.
Thanks for the read~!
...Okay.
(I jut have no idea what else to say.)
The fact that he didn’t put any into a container to have later speaks volumes about who’s really the dumb one here.
it didn’t taste like any pony meat I’ve had
Aca-excuse me?
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
HELL YEAH
good stuff thanks for feeding me with student 6 content
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In attempting to write GallBar, I found that this weird GallBar/Smolcellus ship is truly endgame.
In a year I expect to just ship all of the Student 6. As god meant us to.
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You can't just take them home for later. That would defeat the purpose of the deal!
I originally was going to have him ask about that, or at least provide a general run-down of the rules, but it had to be cut for word count
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With appreciation for the limitations of 1000 words, there are definitely some gaps you have chosen not to explain.
When I saw that he was going for unlimited cupcakes, I thought the grift was going to be generously giving away his unlimited cupcakes to anyone who wanted one. Unlimited for one can mean unlimited for everyone, if the rules don't say otherwise.
Another clarification...
Oh my goodness, Gallus, my mind comes pre-guttered, too, it seems.
This was a delight, and it felt like you really got a lot of detail out of 1k words. This story was clever, cute, and as sweet as Pinkie's lethally saccharine cupcakes.
Not bad
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When it comes to these boys, the gutter is the only way to go.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. It may have been a struggle getting all of these things into one small story, but it has certainly been worth it.
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Thank you for your words of kindness, friend. They will keep me warm in the coming days.
Ah yes, SCC. Not to be confused with SSC, makers of mechs with toes.
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I don't like the concept of mechs with toes. Why have you done this to me
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Blame the fictional megacorporation from 3000 years in the future.😅
Let the record show that I did not switch to a different ink to write that sentence. It changed to that color after I wrote the closing quotation marks. May this serve as a warning.
I was going to be concerned about the pony meat comment, but then I kept reading. Very important addendum there.
Pro tip: Don't insult the professor in an assignment that already barely fulfills the requirements.
"What are you?"
"I'm a changeling."
"No, are you a boy or a girl?"
"I'm. A. Changeling."
"What's in your pants?"
"Whatever I want. What part of 'changeling' isn't clear?"
Delightful demonstration of Equestria's soft power and the folly of underestimating it. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
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SCC core bonuses include Full Subjectivity Snack, Ghostwrap, and Kai Biofrosting.
hehe
my immediate question is what the "T." stands for
noooooo why would you exploit the dumb, overly trusting ponies? :(
aww, that is so sweetly supportive and very Pinkie! love it
that does indeed make it seem quite ominous! something tells me the reason for nopony having taken up the unlimited cupcakes offer will be revealed soon enough
oh no. oh noooooo
the "had" raises a lot of questions...
oof, burn on Rainbow!
phew! i was hoping that would be what he meant!
ahahahaha like i guess this is addressing Rarity but also totally got me, the reader
aww, but carrot cakes are so good! Sandbar knows where it's at!
so nice that Gallus has so much love and support for his ridiculous nonsense :)
ehehe nice, everycreature has a thing for the sarcastic blue bird it seems
ah, love this Pinkie/Gallus showdown, now that is a rare combination to write!
skill issue
ehehe love it
haha, can definitely imagine that kind of thriftiness being a griffon virtue!
aww, that full-foreleg wave! i can just imagine it, always so fun, and makes a defeat to Pinkie sting all the more
so true! love her and ponies
ahaha, love how petty this ending is!
ah, really love this! great exploration of how griffons and ponies would view each other, though in a characteristically pony way, really more about how griffons view ponies and how ponies view ponies, all in a fun frame story with a lighthearted conflict. just love how Gallus comes through here all Gallus-y, the bit of GallBar in the middle, the metafictional bits that come with the essay being written in-universe for Rarity in mind, and how it all wraps together with a scene that could have been ripped directly from the canon School of Friendship. agh, Rarity as a teacher is a delight!
fantastic story, thank you so much for it!
Hello! Have a review. Gallus's narrative voice was what made this -- it's really entertaining. He's just like I'd imagine him to be in this situation, and the little asides and bits of dialogue just work. Not that keen on the coloured text, and the ending is not quite as brilliant as the rest (it's fine, just that the rest is even better) but overall this was enormous fun. Have a like and a fave, and well done on the Bronze Medal!
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I thank you many for the review. I remember that I had something that I wanted to do with the colored text, but had to cut down the story majorly to fit the wordcount.
I guess I just left the coloring because I liked the vibe
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"The," clearly.
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Perhaps, or perhaps it stands for Tiberius.
The world may never know.