• Member Since 30th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Zubric


Love to write whatever comes to mind and enjoy Brony stuff.

E
Source

Twilight really should be more careful when spellcasting as a miscast spell results in her being turned into a big living plush of herself. Now all she has to do is track down Rarity. How hard could that be?
-Takes place in season two-

A fluff piece with lots of huggable Twilight.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

That was adorable :heart: :moustache::twilightblush:

“I understand the process better now. I’m going to turn this block into a rubber ball.”

I was hoping she'd end up as a squeaky inflatable or something because of this but such a huggable unicorn is just as delightful. :twilightsmile:

Other than a few grammatical errors, mainly your/you're, this was a really cute read indeed. :heart:

Awe…
That was a nice story

11083850
oh ooops, ugh i forgot to take a second glance at it before posting. proof reading fail haha

11083945
It was still great either way.

Hay, but now I want one of these Plush Plushies too.

That was a good story.

This spell would be more humane way of keeping villains under control.

Hey there! I saw you wanted a constructive comment, so I thought I'd drop by and see what I can do.

First of all, love the concept! It's a unique take on spellcasting gone wrong. A lot of stories I see with that concept have DIRE CONSEQUENCES, so seeing it done it such a lighthearted way was a lot of fun. Overall, your execution was very good. I liked that, during each leg of the journey, Twilight had some new obstacle or revelation about her condition - too many hugs, tripping over mundane hazards, impervious to dirt, and boundless energy, for example. Those little tidbits kept the story from becoming monotonous and really enhanced the charm. I think my favorite line was, “Did you know you are washing machine safe?”

The suggestion I have for you is about commas. This is all about improving the clarity of your writing, which is already pretty good as is. Let's start with dialogue. Whenever a character speaks, you generally have two parts: the quotation (what is said), and the attribution (who said it). "I love books," said Twilight. "I love books" is the quotation, and said Twilight is the attribution. Makes sense, right? The thing to keep in mind is that the two parts work together to form a complete sentence, so you don't want to separate them with a period. A question mark or exclamation point at the end of a quotation is fine, but you don't want to separate them with a period. Use a comma instead. I've highlighted a few spots in your story that need a comma for this reason below:

Lifting a large cube of wood on top of the table, she added, “I understand the process better now. I’m going to turn this block into a rubber ball.”

“Okay, okay fine,” He said opening the door for Twilight.

“That would explain how you turned your parents into plants,” Spike jokes nudging Twilight’s side.

I also highlighted "jokes" in that last example because it shifts into present tense, when the rest of the story is written in past tense. I'm pretty sure this is a typo, since you don't struggle with keeping verb tense consistent in the rest of your story, but I thought it was worth a mention.

My other suggestion is to look out for repetition of certain words. I noticed several instances where you used the same word more than once in the same sentence, and that's generally not something you want to do. Here are a couple of examples, with the repeated word highlighted:

Spike tried to help her, but soon the plush unicorn soon found herself being hugged around the legs and one pegasus on her back hugging her neck.

The drake waved his claw as the group of young ones all let out a groan of disappointment as they all got off the plush.

“Yeah I get it,” Spike said before hugging Twilight’s leg quickly before they head along.

Finally, I noticed this spelling error, which I also think is a typo:

“Magical miss cast,”

The correct spelling is miscast.

Overall, loved this little story! You know you're doing well if the biggest correction is about commas. Keep up the great work!

11084643
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, commas always trip me up. Haha.

Bet Rarity is going to have a lot of similar requests from a good chunk of the town.

Finally! Its so great and relieving to have such a Fun fanfiction based off Inanimate TF and its SFW! I love it! I commend you greatly friend! Keep it up! And yeah I'm wanting to do my own sorts of unique TFs as well for fun, silliness and of course to spread inspiration!

11084545
Starlight and cozy cane to mind. Hehe cozy the cuddly plush pegasus

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