Once, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna ruled Equestria together. However, Luna became disillusioned with the lack of love she received from ponies, who adore Celestia's day and shun Luna's night. She decided to attempt to leave Equestria to create her own Lunar Republic, an action that amounts to treason against Equestria. Now, Princess Celestia must administer the proper punishment to her sister, even as it tears her heart in two.
An alternate version of Luna's descent into Nightmare Moon.
An entry in Imposing Sovereigns III, using the prompt Celestia/Justice.
Chapters (1)
Celestia, you should be ashamed! And bought this on yourself.
Wow, this is a pretty good story man. Now, granted, I'm not exactly a veteran critic by any means, so take this with a grain of salt. The book is pretty good in my opinion, which is obvious from my previous statement.
The plot isn't exactly the most original thing in existence, but everything has an inspiration, otherwise, we wouldn't be able to speak without hearing our parents do so. It's the same with fiction. However, this book made me feel actual sympathy for both parties, admittedly more for luna but a little for Celestia. Though, thats because we haven't heard much of Celestia's side of the story other than the bloody law.
I can't say much for the dialogue or the pacing, though I can say it didn't irk me in particular. So it's alright. Not any obvious spelling or grammatical errors from what I've seen, though I only read it once.
So for the moment, it's pretty good đź‘Ť.
Sorry I didn't give some extremely helpful critic or anything. But that's because the story hasn't done anything to earn it. In other words, it's good so I cannot find anything to criticize about it.
11026777
Respectfully but heavily disagree. Yes, Celestia didn't do anything to help Luna, because she didn't think she needed to. She was unaware of how deeply Luna was hurt by lacking the same degree of visible appreciation as her.
This is not a case of Celestia ignoring Luna, it's a case of her misunderstanding how deep her sister's sadness ran. She thought that she was responding proportionately to Luna's concerns by telling her that her insecurities were wrong, she was loved by the populace; if she'd known how Luna really felt, how she actively felt like the ponies of Equestria were shunning her in favor of her sister, then I firmly believe Celestia would have attempted to help Luna earn more appreciation.
Personally, I think that the point of the Nightmare Moon story is that neither sister is entirely to blame; Luna chose to go Nightmare mode, yes, but primarily because Celestia failed to adequately address her concerns. However, part of the reason she failed to adequately address them was that Luna failed to adequately communicate them to Celestia; like Celestia herself said,
She saw no reason to stop Luna from leaving the castle, indicating either that she didn't care about Luna at all (immensely unlikely, judging by her genuine-sounding guilt near the start of the trial) or that she didn't know how desperate Luna was. This is actually a consistent thread in her character; from Luna's sadness and jealousy to Sunset Shimmer's ambition to Twilight's need to obey her instructions, Celestia's tragic flaw appears to be underestimating those around her, failing to account for the strength of their thoughts and emotions. Like she said in the fan song "Lullaby for a Princess," "forgive me for being so blind."
Celestia's blindness may have stopped her from preventing Nightmare Moon, but that does mean that Nightmare Moon was Celestia's fault, anymore than it was the fault of the ponies who used the nighttime to sleep. Luna turned into Nightmare Moon out of desperation, a desperation that she had insufficiently communicated to her sister, whose inadequate action was thought to be a proportionate response to those concerns that Luna had successfully communicated to her. The point of the Nightmare Moon story isn't that Celestia's to blame or that she's blameless (the repetition of Luna's concerns should've rung some alarm bells for her), it's that communication is vital in a relationship: Celestia failed to communicate how loved Luna really was, while Luna failed to communicate just how unloved she felt relative to her sister. However, while both of them are guilty, I would argue that a greater shame of the guilt rests on Luna's shoulders; Celestia failed to react appropriately to the actions her sister chose to take. Celestia failed to stop Luna from turning into Nightmare Moon, something Luna could've stopped herself from doing at any time.
TL:DR; Yes, Celestia should feel ashamed at failing to understand just how unloved her sister felt, but she should not feel ashamed for what her sister freely chose to do. Luna brought Nightmare Moon upon them, not Celestia.
11026849
There is possibly a civil war, ssssssooooooooo?
All the potential deaths will be on their hooves!!!!!!
11026861
Correct, on their hooves, not just Celestia's.
I mean, based on the prosecution, the main issue was that she didn’t properly file her paperwork when trying to secede from Equestria. And frankly, if she had, that might have gotten it through to Celestia that platitudes wouldn’t cut it.
A good application of the prompt, but it’s applied to very well-traveled ground. There’s little here to make it stand out against any number of other “advent of the Nightmare” stories out there. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.