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Finding herself with wings and unusually powerful magic, Twilight Sparkle proceeds to have breakdown after breakdown, until with the help of her friends, she confronts Celestia and Luna about it... And learns that she's a far more important little pony than she ever imagined - for all the wrong reasons.
Awesome painting by Drezzer can be found here!
20 megapixel version is here (10MB JPEG, 210dpi strangely, 24"x20")!
Thanks, man!
@Wilhelm II, German Emperor, there a a few Twilight-becomes-Alicorn fics knocking around. I for one have been writing one for several months. Even though it's a similar premise to GaruuSpike's, that's most likely unintentional. Besides, might as well give it a go, see what someone else's take on the genre is like
Yo, I feel like someone just cut above my ears with a hot knife. I think that indicates high blood pressure. Scuse me, I need an icepack.
You're doing something different from me here, so I won't bigot you for this. That would be extremely rude of me. :U This looks promising, keep it up!
Owch. Sorry Twi.
Great premise. I've seen a couple of these Twilight-Sparkle-Wakes-Up-As-An-Alicorn, but without paying attention to that, this is written well story-wise.
Great job with Pinkie, defiantly in-character and expanded just a tad. I like it. And for the Princess's reactions, Excellent.
Not many issues with grammar and spelling, always a good thing. 
Eager to see more!
-The Librarian
I don't think Celestia will force Twilight to stay at the castle, but this is assuming that Luna doesn't kill Twilight over what she thinks was harming her sister.
I think Twilight would probably have one rather large breakdown but with help from Celestia and her friends everything should turn out alright.
The plot so far is very good, It may seem rushed but under the circumstances I believe that events would be moving rather quickly. I honestly want to see a twilight alicorn story were she wakes up and is like "I'm an Alicorn now, Awesome," but that's probable not practical and wouldn't exactly make a good story.
It's an interesting idea, but the story is terribly rushed. You would have done well making Everything twice as long. As it is, it's hard to take anything seriously. All the exaggerations make this read more than a comedy than anything else. There's just no weight along with the events.
I've also got to ask why in the world you think All of them would make such frankly absurd leaps of logic? I could imagine one or two of them possibly thinking that Celestia would make Twilight stay at the caste. But all of them? What... Exactly do they base such an absurd notion on?
And on that note, what's up with all the fainting? Spike makes sense, but Twilight herself? I suppose system chock from having literally grown to twice her size and added wings coupled with the chock of discovery and near starvation explains it for her, but then you have Celestia faint. That's just... Absurd. This is a pony who have been alive for thousands of years, even if this is something she had never expected would happen, this isn't a plausible reaction. It's one of the most out of character actions I've seen with Celestia Ever. I suppose you might have some interesting rationalization for it, but I just can't see it.
So, yeah. I don't think this story is very in character at all so far. Which is all of course personal opinions. But as something more concise, I would say that I think there's too much slapstick to take the story seriously, and it's jumping from scene to scene without reflecting on what's happening. It feels rushed. But as long as you're having fun writing it, all's well :).
"but then you have Celestia faint. That's just... Absurd. This is a pony who have been alive for thousands of years, even if this is something she had never expected would happen, this isn't a plausible reaction. It's one of the most out of character actions I've seen with Celestia Ever. I suppose you might have some interesting rationalization for it, but I just can't see it."
On the other hoof, she has been alive for thousands of years. She is likely not use to being suprised anymore.
Very much like the Responsibility fic, but thats not a bad thing. like the comment I posted on that fic. I would like to see more "turn into alicorn" fic's out there. Though it be nice to see some that are other ponies, and not just Twilight.
like... Pinkie Pie! that would be a stitch 
-Fin
Let's try not to think about that, shall we? How about we think of some nice relaxing OTHER ponies that could suddenly become alicorns, and what would happen if they did. In fact, we can make a game of it! I'll name a pony, then someone responds with what would happen to Equestria if they became an alicorn, and then they pick a new pony for the next person!
Let's see... I've got a good one.
What would the consequences be of Zecora becoming an alicorn and helping rule Equestria?
Excellent start for this story the shock of the change was well done. The only problem I saw was when you described her horn. "It was half as long again as Twilight's horn" this would mean that it was half the size of her regular horn. Is she growing a new horn? Oh well next chapter!
Alright chapter 3 First off is this a comedy because we haven't had any dark or sad moment yet maybe its planed for later. I love how panicked Twilight is I like when we see whats see thinking because shes crazy. I can also see the reasoning the girls have about her being a Alicorn. I mean the only ones anybody knows either rule the country or have tried to so I can see the reaction.
one, Zanzibar, I think your taking this all together TOO seriously. 
It's a fic after all, and out-of-character ideas and actions happen literally ALL the time. Chill, man. I do agree with you that it's rushed, but that is an easily fixed problem. 
Anyway, great story! I like where your heading with this and I really hope to see more! Keep up the good work!
OK this has to be a comedy to many funny things are happening. The story feels a little rushed with all the opportunities you create. I really wanted to see Twilight train from the small descriptions of the damages it would have been great. I find that the reactions of the main six are pretty accurate. Celestia's reaction was funny we really don't know anything about her or her sister so its possible she could faint from the surprise. Luna was spot on for what see walked in on. i can't wait until the next chapter, good job.
Wow, so much feedback! 
The thing with Celestia's reaction being OOC is, well, we've never exactly seen how she reacts when faced with her worst fear. I'll just leave that there...
Being compared to Responsibility is... Wow. Just wow. No, GaruuSpike can write. I can't write. In fact, this is the first thing I've ever really written. I started piecing this together months ago, after discovering FiM, bronying up, and blazing through all the episodes. I've just always wanted Twilight to be an alicorn, I guess, and there's so little art about that, and I couldn't find any fanfiction. This is a fairly long story so far, and only the first six chapters have had plot-holes and grammar fixed. And I'm changing plots around like crazy, it's something I can't help but do, I had to rewrite big pieces of the end of this chapter for example... The original end of this chapter was quite a bit different, but this fits better with what I'd originally written for the start of the next one, etc. I'll get chapter 5 and *maybe* 6 out before Christmas, because I'm off to the beach for a few days 
(the southern hemisphere is awesome). Chapter 5 is called Lunacy, but that really is NOT giving anything away (nothing's what you think at this point).
The one thing that irritates the hell out of me about Twilight as a character is that, for a master of organisation, she's always freaking out. So what I'm going for here is that she ends up being thoroughly level-headed, in the face of an enormous challenge that threatens to tear Equestria apart (dramatic music). And of course, still manages to mess things up, despite having enough magic to make Celestia look like Snails (I'll just leave this here, too).
So, why is this story up on here anyway? Because I've never been one to read fanfiction (though of course I read Cupcakes and the other... uh, famous ones), though in a fit of boredom last weekend I did read Romance Reports. Then a couple of days later I read Pony Psychology, and loved it (woo hoo, immortal Twi! Secret agent Derpy!). Then I found Responsibility Ch. 1, and experienced the same icepack-requiring feeling that GaruuSpike did... But was immediately hooked. I nearly had a heart attack when I read Twilight waking up with wings... But things like that always happen in fiction, I guess. Someone wakes up feeling terrible, and has a new power or something. Responsibility is my personal favourite fanfic, because it deals with my favourite MLP idea. When Chapter 2 came out I breathed a sigh of relief - we really are going in two completely opposite directions (at least, I think so!)
Anyway, reading Responsibility spurred me to finally put something I've been working on out into the public domain (well, there are games and so on that I wrote ages ago out there, but that's another thing). Specifically, the point that GaruuSpike made (IIRC) about working on something just for himself, and then finally posting it somewhere. I took that to heart. I'm really glad that some people like it. As for it being rushed, what can I say? I'm not a writer, I've never written fiction before. Maybe the "rushed" feeling is just HOW I write? I don't know... But the rest of the story is in the same style. I'm sorta moving the pacing on like they would do so in an episode, like.
Thanks for all the feedback. I love you all!
Uh, i have a question.
"The seconds stretched by. Rainbow Dash coughed. Princess Luna blinked at Twilight's wings.
As Twilight felt her body smash through the thick stone wall of the tower, the entire chamber exploded in a deafening concussion of deepest midnight. "
Do you mean that Luna fainted or that Twilight got smashed against a wall by Luna?
I'll admit I was bad. I didn't read the other comments, as I'm on my phone. My ONLY problem thus far: WTF doesn't Luna recognize them?! What, did Episode 4 never happen, and she not remember them from when she 'woke up'? Other than that... *Very eagerly awaits the next chapter! *
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
Glad you choose to post it, even though there is a (somewhat) similar fic out that you think is better. Both are quite entertaining.
For some reason all these Twilight is Alicorn'd fics make me want someone to write a Past Sins sequel where it happens... 
Hi! You must be new here. Welcome, welcome to the Internet.
One of the first things you must remember is that on the Internet, people have opinions, and they state those.
Now, some people are happy with being terse and to the point, saying little other than "I like it" or "I don't like it". Some other people prefer to elaborate.
Usually, the second group are the ones offering so called "constructive criticism". This is something people like me usually strives to do, which is why a comment from me is generally quite a lot longer than average. In fact, I see every reason for being serious on this. Generally, an author or artist makes their work available because they want comments on it. Sure, a "This is great!" is a fun pat on the back, but usually it's more appreciated when it's a bit less vague. What, exactly, is so great? Is it the characters? Is it the environments? To be helpful, I'm sure you can see that it can be worth a bit more effort.
By all means, even my own post was sorely lacking in detailed criticism. I save such analysing for when an author directly asks for it. Still, my rather terse comment above did show what I think needs improvement. It's a fun concept, but more than a good concept is needed for a fanfic to be truly epic.
Now, for the author:
Worst fear, huh? Certainly a good explanation and could explain it. But it's something that a bit of build up could have prepared me as a reader for a bit better. It could, for example, have been hinted on in the library. Perhaps Twilight had one of her handy books on "legends" or "predictions" at hand. Of course, it's more or less speculation since we don't know what this nightmare scenario is yet. But we'll find out in due time.
I believe this somewhat rambling post is my cue for getting to bed. 3 am is not a good time for coherent thoughts.
Tl;dr: Just read it :P. Or don't. I'm fine either way.
>>84381 That's true, but I wrote Luna's reaction after seeing Luna Eclipsed. I'm guessing that she would remember every one of the mane 6, but she's in shock because her sister is out for the count, something that shouldn't happen, like. I'm updating bits of this to reflect current canon, for example the bit where Twilight said she was going to try to reach the sun, originally Rarity mentioned that unicorns have never been able to do anything like that, but I changed a bit of dialogue after HWE aired, to imply that hundreds of unicorns working together could do it, as unicorns raising the sun is now canon.
>>84432 Very good point well made (uh, I mean your earlier post). Criticism noted but I'm not sure I can write in any other way. I'm hopeless for detail 
That's basically how it runs in my head. And for the post I actually quoted: I don't think there's any way Twilight would have been able to find anything on alicorn myths or legends in her library. Or Canterlot's library. Or any library. Although she did at least decide to go and see the right pair of ponies.
I'm still shocked and stunned by the reactions here. Good criticism, bad criticism, positive criticism, negative criticism, it's all immensely welcome and valued. Hugs all around! There are so many stories on this site, how the heck did so many people see this one so fast?! 
And Applejack, now why in the HAY is it jus' so dern hard to write yer funny twang, sugarcube?
To be perfectly honest, I was just saying I disagree with you. I'm Not new to the internet, but I'll let that insult slide just this once (yes I took it as a soft insult). I give constructive criticism where I believe it is needed, and so far I like where this is going. I usually only give criticism on things that I see repeating often, such as a story being rushed, which I agreed with you on. Other than a few minor errors that are seen in almost every story on this site in one form or another, this story is going well in my opinion. The Author could definitely clean up grammar and spelling a little, but I don't normally don't comment on something already commented on. Thanks for the "lesson", but I do understand already. I was just voicing my opinion.
To the author: Sorry to be having a conversation in your comments section, but I just wanted to say this. Keep this story going! I've read a couple of the other "Twilight becomes Alicorn" stories, but so far I like your's the most! Keep up the good work!
I'm certainly not one to tell an author what to do, and I am enjoying your story. But I've seen many great stories get derailed because of wanting to stick too much to be many vagaries of canon. I'm hoping you look at it as sort of a framework, and not the bottom line.
>>83970 "I'll name a pony, then someone responds with what would happen to Equestria if they became an alicorn, and then they pick a new pony for the next person!
Let's see... I've got a good one.
What would the consequences be of Zecora becoming an alicorn and helping rule Equestria? "
Hmmm... how about Dr. Whooves?
Alright, just saw this and had to review. I like it. I like it a lot. It's well presented, engaging, and heartwarming. I like the reactions and I like the general tone of the whole story, so far.
Now to nitpick, the pacing seems a little bit on the fast side. You could have possibly brought a couple of the previous chapters into one and it would have been fine. Perhaps explore everypony's thoughts and feelings in a bit more detail. Slow things down a little.
Im a little worried about Twilight now, and Im pretty excited to see Luna's actions in the next chapter. Hopefully things won't get too chaotic, though it proves to be interesting no matter the direction
>>83832 Here you go:
BRRRIIIINNNG! BRRRIIIINNNG! BRRRIIIINNNG! BRRRIIII-chrk!
With a loud crunch, Twilight's alarm clock found itself smashed into its atomized components beneath a heavy hoof of solid violet magic.
Twilight rolled out of bed, her mane once again covering her eyes. I love waking up to see the beautiful morning-mane that is only penetrable by Celestia's unyielding sun!
She groaned, stretching out her back muscles, her wings flaring out, joints popping after being mistreated throughout the night. THey flapped back down to her sides, and-
Twilight ran through her mental morning checklist. Wake up. Check. Turn off alarm clock. The clock in question was no where to be found, only the small hour-hand remaing. ... Check. Curse the sun for being so bright. Check. Curse the night sky for being so beautiful. Hmm... Damn you, you stupid, pretty, shiny stars! Why d'you always keep me up so late?! Check. Stretch. Check. Wake Spike. Spike wasn't in his bed. Check.
She ran through the list a few more times, finally realising what was bothering her.
She gasped. "Oh, sweet Celestia! The milk gets delivered this morning!" SHe flew down the stairs to grab the milk, lest Ditzy accidently break the bottles... again.
------
THe milk safely in the fridge, and her stomach now full from the delicious pancakes her wide-eyed assistant made for her, she suddenly felt the urge to scratch her back.
"Gah! Stupid wings! No wonder Dash is always lifting them in the air! You can NOT put them down for more than a minute before-" She cut herself off, turning her head slowly towards the wings whose existance she had just been cursing.
"... I- I- Wings... Th-that's... so.... AWESOME!" She let out a whoop and flew out of the kitchen's back door, into the morning sky.
Now I can get revenge on Rainbow Dash for that prank she pulled last month. She grinned wickedly to herself.
------
One prank, explanation of when she realized she had wings, and an "Ohmigosh, Twi you're so cool now!" later, Twilight and Dash were resting on a cloud together, talking about the one thing that Dash truly had all the scientific knowledge needed in. Flying, with a hint of weather.
"The one thing you should never do is fear heights. If you lock your wings and look down, you've got to spread 'em again. or else you'll be flatter than a pancake under a steamroller."
"Ooh, sounds painful."
"Oh, ExtrEEmely, Twi. Like, way too overly painful."
"Weather team Captain's a hard job for you?"
"Nah, not too much responsibility, really. Just gotta make sure everyponny else is on time." Dash's face brightens with an evil grin.
"Say... Wanna prank the flank off somepony?"
Twilight returned the evil smile. "Well, actually..."
------
Luna opened the door to her bedroom, to find a wrapped present inside. "Oh! Wherefore is there one gift such as this residing in my chambers? Where hast thou cometh from, ye encased enigma?" The present remained silent.
"... Very well, I shall play your little game." Luna grabbed an end of the bow tied around the box in her teeth, and pulled.
"BWA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A midnight black mare in indigo armor burst forth from the box, leaping atop of the princess of the night.
"N- no! Y-you're not real! Y-you can't be! The nightmare was destroyed! D-d-d-destroyed!"
"Surprised to see me alive, hmm?" Twilight purred the same chuckle that Nightmare Moon had when they had met. "I wish to.... reconnect with you... If you get my meaning." Twilight waggled her eyebrows provocatively, and Luna did the one thing that had always saved her when she found herself in danger.
She leaned her head back, her magic starting to cast a spell that was never far away.
In her Royal Canterlot Voice, she screamed: "I NEED AN ADULT!!!
>>84432 TL;DR
Seriously, though. Yes, OOC is sometimes bad. Mostly, though, it's their internal turmoil that counts the most. Twi's all like "Jason Crisp, what the haystack is going on here?!?!?!" on the inside, while on the outside she's all "Okay... Okay... Breathe in.... Breathe out.... Okay. Calm. Calm. Don't freak out. You almost accidently commited Mareslaughter when Pinkie touched your horn. Don't... Freak... The Fuck... Out. That is the LAST thing you want to do right now, okay? Okay. Good."
And then here's your sarcastic comment about being a net noob. I have definitely had to ask a question in a forum, or had wanted to point something out, and I get all kinds of sarcasm from the people whose entire lives revolve around the internet. I have a life that happens in the real world. It's like this completely F2P MMORPG with life-like NPC's who will adapt to new circumstances. There are a few glitches and Hax ppl have found, but they've patched quite a bit of them. There are curently at least 20 times as many people playing than there are playing WoW - (not including the ones who actually play both.) The only downfall to this game is that there are no respawns or continues. You get a game over, and it's literally GAME OVER.
And Luna is best at jumping to conclusions, eh? 
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Luna thinks that it is an assassination, doesn't she?
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