I am the Sage of Toads, I write sexythings!
A slice of life fanfiction with the occasional story arc. MASH is a story about six friends, their less than normal lives, and the interesting world they live in. Co-written by Andrew Joshua Talon of "Progress" and "Beating the Heat" fame.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Woo! Welcome to FIMFiction.net, my friend! Looking good!
Made me think of M*A*S*H for a second there, and pretty good reading this be.
I loved this story so much when I read it on FFN. I eagerly await the next chapter.
I see what you did there with your Evangelion references
anyway, Awesome story, can't wait to read more
now off in pursuit of that thing they call sleep ;D
Aw this was an excellent read so far. I can't wait to read more.
Simply Brilliant. Kudos.
Really, really prefect story so far, but could you make some kind of page-break when you change the setting, because I have a hard time dicserning when that happens?
One of my favorite Human!pony stories, so I'm hoping that you posting it here is a sign of more chapters to come. I think you've nailed the characterizations, and am really looking forward to more! 5 stars!
Absolutely fantastic. Please sir I want some more?
While I am not adverse to humanization, especially the artists you took inspiration from, the one thing about FiM I actually take seriously is characterization. And as much as I like JJ and MS's art, I am not a fan of their characterizations.
...DUUUUUUUUUDE. WHY ISN'T THIS FEATURED AT EVERY SINGLE MOMENT?
No, seriously, I loved it. Fan-flipping-tastic. You made Applejack into a (supposedly) former soldier, turned RD's 'ten seconds flat' into something even more awesome, almost perfectly outlined Rarity's ambitions, turned Fluttershy into a badass, and Pinkie...
...Was Pinkie, I guess.
5/5 stars, faved, tracked.
I got goosebumps.
I literally got goosebumps.
It was probably around when Pinkie pulled out the bazooka that I realized this story was beyond awesome.
Then Fluttershy started spanking the Shadowbolt, and I realized that my vocabulary was not equipped to describe the awesomeness.
So, I will now slap my face against the keyboard and hope that something sufficient will show up.
gdujhmn gh bhcv 434
Eh, close enough. My face hurts.
MORE.
Comedy Gold in just enough of a different way to be Awesome. I can't wait for more
But what happened to the Shadowbolts now? Are the Shadowbolts dead now? Or are they alive now or something?
God, the Carrie reference.
The Horror! The horror!
Also, thank you SO much for adding pagebreaks.
"transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness"
Mare?
Disclaimer: And this is where everything goes all SHOUNEN.
You do battle scenes like a freakin badass though.
Still doesn't quite match the Greatest Battle Scene of All Time.
that was adorable was not as oversexed as the pilot and still had everybody remaining fairly true to their own personalities. I am looking forward to more.
Hmm. This chapter was rather hilarious. The comedy is turning out as good as the action.
Still not digging the characterizations. They're just too different for me to carry over my attachment from the versions I love. I have to view them completely as OCs in order to just relax and enjoy them.
I am enjoying the altered and remixed scenarios from the show.
Dash's constant damn horn licking is creepy and annoying. Do not want.
This chapter seems to heavily reference the first chapter of "Getting to Know Him by SleeplessBrony". I have mixed feelings about that. It makes some of the humor seem too recycled. I also am not a huge fan of SB right now.
Honestly I would recommend (personal preference mind you) keep the style of the writing and the character interactions as is because the easy to read prose and character dynamics are honestly the strongest point of this fic.
Tone down the sexualization from blatant to innuendo. We all know these girls are old enough to do their thing, but keep it light and humorous instead of in your face and pervy. Dash and Pinkie teasing each other with naughty asides is hilarious and adorable. Dash and Pinkie openly being fuck buddies is lulzy but loses "da magics". Spike's oblivious aside about Twilight's vibrator and Twilight's vagaries about Celestia being her "Mistress" are chuckle worthy. Dash running around propositioning every damn thing that moves is banal.
I'd say avoid outlying fandom references and stick to your reimagining and remixing of the show's scenarios as well as your artwork based creative inspiration.
Am I detecting some rainbow lesbian? Oh please! Why?! I can only give you 4 out of 5. Can't impress everyone! I really have to shut up at times...
219032
Whoops, thanks for the fix.
219575
Rainbow Dash is not a lesbian.
220277
I think you were replying to the post above the post you replied to.
You're welcome.
220277 oh... then what's with the- oh... now I understand! Sorry for the accusation. 5/5 then...
I love this series a lot. I kind of agree with the comments on the horn play. I wouldn't say that it's creepy, but it seems way too intimate and sensual to be playful. The yuri/femmeslash (whichever term one wishes to use) undertones of their relationship does give it context, but it's sort of in that awkward area where it's too detailed to be for laughs and too shallow to really be enjoyed as citrus goodness. Horn as sweet spot is a wonderful idea, but it feels like you didn't give it the full Ero-Sennin treatment, and that is a shame.
Please tell me this will continue. Although I do have reservations about a few aspects, it is overall one of the most entertaining fics I've read in quite a while.
I also forgot to mention before: I really love that you've kept Spike a dragon instead of humanizing him too.
This is what I imagine MLP would be if Japan ever got the rights to it. Case in point: Powerpuff Girls and Powerpuff Girls Z
...Actually, make Mac the male lead, and you have MLP if Ken Akamatsu ever got his hands on the rights to it.
Excellent work! I look forward to seeing where you take this!
Amazing stuff. The previous bits were good, especially the Equestrian army/airforce vs Nightmare Moon was awesome, but this chapter was made of pure win. Your versions of the main cast are somehow 'more canon than canon' if you will, you do a great job of playing up their established quirks and making them even funnier but still believable.
So, any chance we will get some more chapters of this?
I WANT MOOOAAARRR!!!
With how the characters and action in this story go I had an idea for when/if you do 'Griffon the Brush Off'. Instead of Gilda thinking all of Rainbow Dash's friends are too lame maybe in this story she'll think they are too hardcore.
Heck you could really change this story around if in doing so Gilda actually remains friends with Rainbow and shows up in later episodes.
LA DAYUMN! this chapter is extremely looong! but an awesome one!!
I loved the first two chapters! They were truely epic!! ButTwiMac ruined this chapter for me. Sorry.
Lol, Twilight's cutie mark is a tramp stamp.
I find this to be completely fun to read with the characterization you have of the human versions and the silly interactions between them.
Would love to see where this would go if you did just forgo episode chapters and made you own cannon with the characters.
Before vowels and the letter H, one uses mine and an. Average-Sized should be hyphenated; it is a compound adjective. The complete title should be Mine Average-Sized Human.
2227748
You're right about the hyphenation, but not about "my" versus "mine" (or "a" versus "an", for that matter). "My" is an attributive pronoun (it directly modifies a noun), whereas "mine" is a predicative pronoun (it is used as a predicate); pronunciation has nothing to do with it. Thus, "this is my apple" versus "this apple is mine". So "My Average-Sized Human" would be the correct name (just as "My Little Pony" is completely correct).
As for "a" versus "an", usage is based purely on pronunciation: "a" is used before consonantal sounds, whereas "an" before vowel sounds (regardless of how the sounds are spelled), yielding "a car", "a unicorn", "a horn", "an hour", "an apple", "an umbrella".
2739905
We agree about hyphenation, but not about the indefinite article and possessive pronouns:
The problem is declining standards in English. Half a millenium ago, one would use an before worlds starting with vowels, the semivowel “Y-”, and the consonant “H-”. Possessive pronouns ending in “Y-” would change to “-Ine” when used as predicate and before words starting with vowels, the semivowel “Y-”, and the consonant “H-”, just as happened with the indefinite article:
Examples:
A dog
An horse
An elephant
An yankee
My dog
Mine horse
Mine elephant
Mine yankee
Thy Dog
Thine horse
Thine elephant
Thine yankee
Just ask yourself, “¿WWCD? (¿What would Chaucer do?)”.
2739982
I don't particularly care what Chaucer would do, nor how English worked 500 years ago. The language hasn't "declined" in that time, it has evolved.* All languages evolve over time, and the amount of change English has gone through since Chaucer is pretty typical. Modern usage is exactly as I described it (seriously - Google it, ask any English teacher, look it up in style guides, whatever). My Little Pony is written using modern English (except for Princess Luna's Ye Olde Englishe bits), and My Average Sized Human is not only written in the same way, but is explicitly set close to current day technology-wise, in contrast to the show. If, on the other hand, this were a period piece, I would be right alongside you (and simultaneously cringing at the inevitable horrible mangling of actual medieval grammar and vocabulary).
* I am not arguing - and will not argue - that "languages evolve" is a blanket justification for whatever grammatical or typographical laziness or ignorance one might perpetrate. There is, for example, no excuse for not understanding the correct use of an apostrophe, or the difference between such words as "their", "there", and "they're" (or, to combine both of these, the distinction between "its" and "it's"). While English may evolve to the point where currently widespread-but-incorrect use cases become correct, it is not the case now.
Ok, I'll be honest. This is a well made story, the ideas used to make it different yet the same is pretty impressive. But more needs to be added and soon, this idea is serious potential to make a great series.
Please continue this. It's rather unique and very well written. I love how you showed Twilight's raunchyer side when she was ogling Big Mac. That was gold.
Neat spell.
I think you mean Fillydelphia.
It is hilarious.
Oh my...
This is the greatest.
Quite.
Yep.
Dunno.
Nice priorities.
Curse these Folk, they drive me to the drink.
Yep.
I see...
*grimly* Eeyup.
So, absurdity, screaming, and the moment the main character fights without their shirt, they become invincible.
Getting a real Obi-Wan vs Darth Vader vibe here.
This is so much like Obi Wan vs Darth Vader in the Death Star, but better.
Because you understandably don't like excercise.
Rarity knows some swordplay, or at least has a sword, interesting.
She has a point.
A Shadowbolt.
So AJ can be fast, interesting. Also, Rainbow and probably AJ, know martial arts, interesting, very interesting.
That is their lie, yes.
Knowing Rainbow Dash, having a penchant for puns before beatings, and having jsut seen Super Android 13 Abridged, I know EXACTLY where this is going.
Called it.
And Celestia is an earthbender.
Understandable.
She's gonna no sell it, isn't she?
No, by RPG rules, taking stuff from ancient ruins is looting. Not that it's a problem.
Oh dear.
Good plan.
Well, when frightened and hurt, animals WILL act more aggressive than usual.
Yikes.
She's right you know.
I knew it wouldn't even phase her.
Yep.
Very understandably.
Oh dear.
OR humiliated.
Tell me she's not...
She is.
Then what is?
They're hurt by laughter...
... I got nothing. This is great.
Celestia, you Magnificent Bitch I read your BOOK!
Possibly.
Oh dear...
Uh, yeah.
Er...
Thankfully.
Heh.
Ah, this sort of conflict. Always enjoy it.
Lovely.
Wait, is, Eventide supposed to be Twilight? Oh my gosh this is great!
That's perfectly fair, you're entitled to like whatever you want.
True.
Ah. So this Rainbow Dash IS a Loveable Nymphomaniac. Well, that may be too strong a word, but, you get the picture.
Very.
True, but you can hit harder by swinging with both hands, or block better with two hands than you would with one.
She's going to kick his ass, isn't she?
Oh, well, I, didn't expect her to answer that but...
Oh dear....
What?
Oh this will be FUN!
Wat.
Oh ho!
Nimbly dodged.
Nothing is quite as satisfying as a Bond One-Liner.
OK, that's one hell of a Beggar's Bazoooka.
What the?
Really. You referenced that?
Classy.
Whoah...
Oooh...
TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERBUCKER!
Luna...
Oh yeah.
Spike got away with trolling Celestia. Best dragon. EVER.
I REALLY like this.
Fair enough.
Applejack.
Err....
Not surprised somehow.
You idiots.
Clever girl.
Oi...
This is great.
This amuses me.
More than you think. This time you're not stinking adorable.
The Doctor and Derpy. Nice.
Heh.
Oh boy, this won't end well. Hey Twi, this might work for an ad on TV or something, but, in a live sales pitch, less so.
Heh.
Not touching that with a ten foot pole.
Uh, AJ?
She has a point, acting nice will make a world of difference.
Pip?
This is adorable.
I dunno, if you just say outright that you'd like to date Big Mac, and just explain yourself calmly and without any subterfuge, I suspect she might listen.
Fair enough.
Oh I see where this is going.
Heh.
This is hilarious.
And my sides are in orbit.
Not helping.
Really?
Ah.
Do I even want to know?
Ah.
Wow.
I think you mean manLy.
It's a step in the right direction.
Please continue the story! Really love this AU you created! :)