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The Ponyville Home Owner's Association pays Twilight Sparkle's castle a visit. It goes about as predictably as you, Twilight, and the members of the Home Owner's Association might imagine.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Twilight will have a field day asking Princess Celestia herself for a huge favour.
That fact that i did not see a twilight light them on fire at the end is Real disappointment, For those 3 seem to be the most annoying buggers ever
10969373
HOAs need to be far more regulated than they actually are. There are some good ones, but the fact that they can demand money and it not be harassment by law is boggling.
10969391
That's fair tho i can't say i ever hear of HOAs before now it's not something we got in the country i live in, So to me they sound a bit like a scam to get free money, for when the pay prize is so low why not just pay it
10969393
They basically are for anyone with enough braincells to not give that many fucks about the outside of the house. Not that houses shouldn't be maintained, but you don't need a line of cookie cutter houses. It's ok to differentiate and still be neat.
Funny thing is, a lot of the HOA regulations mentioned in the story aren't far from reality.
I don't why I was expecting a weird twist at the end, like the HOA being a Celestia/Luna prank or something.
And this is why I do not live within an HOA.
Not enough violence dungeons are the power of the princess.
The title alone is enough to activate me. Lovely work though throughout the story. Thank you for the fun.
10969404
That sounds like a future sequel when the HOA visit the school of friendship
"Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked, aggrieved.
"Yes, our newest Princess?" Always serene. Even when Equestria burned down the last five times...
"I can't help but wonder...does the Canterlot HOA bother you all the time?" Twilight wearily asked, sure to hear that Celestia had the irritants intercepted by a even more pronounced bureaucratic minion that out-monotoned and more nimbly picked at useless points of minutiae than the irritants did...
A shocked, blank look. "HOA?"
"Ponyville's HOA came by my Castle. Just drove me crazy! Grass height, wrong colors, even how the doors opened! And the portraits inside. They wanted me to get rid of yours; yours and Luna's!"
"HOA..."
"Yeah. Ponyville's HOA. I didn't even know Ponyville had one! And they had the nerve to present me with a two-bit bill, and ask me for my autograph, called me a PINO, demanded I thatch my roof..."
Celestia pirouetted around, and bellowed, "LUNA! WE GOT ONE!!!" as her forehoof slammed down on a red button on the wall. A bell started up with a buzzy ring.
"HUZZAH!!! I SHALL BRING MY SWORD Necromancer's Bane! DO YOU WISH ARMOR?" sounded happily from the bedroom.
"THE HEAVY BATTLE ARMOR! THE SET WITH THE LARGE GOUGES AND THE BLOOD STILL ON IT!"
"AND THE RANK STINK OF BATTLE SWEAT???"
"FOR TARTARUS' SAKE, YES! WE ARE ONCE AGAIN CALLED TO SAVE THE REALM!!!"
A gleefull fat chuckle came from the bedroom. "I HAVEN'T RUN ANYPONY THROUGH IN CENTURIES, CELY! LET US MAKE HASTE! BEFORE THE LAWYERS BECOME INVOLVED!!!"
Hoas are PROOF that places like Auschwitz are still a thing, just with different store fronts.
10969404
Yeah, I was expecting Discord to pop out from somwhere when he could no longer contain his laughter at Twi falling for his prank
...
Wait, this 'HOA' thing really exists? And they're really like that?
Glad I don't live in that part of the world... I would have scalped them several times over...
Now see, if Celestia were actually the benevolent ruler she claims to be, anyone even ATTEMPTING to start an HOA would be publicly burned at the stake.
10969513
About the only things different from reality is that they would have charged a lot more than $2, and that as far as I'm aware, it shouldn't be legal to force compliance on a new property that wasn't actually signed on to the HOA. Heck I'm reasonably sure a town wide compulsory HOA would be super illegal in most places (or, again, it should be).
I'm surprised that these ponies could actually get this sort of authority over Twi's castle. Makes me wonder if they could have done anything if she just tossed them out without any sort of payment.
10969393
Considered yourself lucky the last 2 hoas iv lived at want ALL the houses painted even if it was just done and you could prove it
10969541
God that sounds like a pain in the ass to live with and So boring at the same time
10969391
ill just add that to my list of reasons im glad i dont live in the usa
Twilight, you are wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more patient than I would have been in that situation.
HOAs make many positive contributions for the good of society, including the constructions and maintenance of parks and other green spaces, as well as better rates for the homeowner's insurance of members by offering a mechanism to allow collective bargaining, along with many other things. Like any bureaucracy, they function best went kept small in power and constrained to only the absolutely necessity of function.
What invariably happens, however, is that the governing board will invariably become infested with busybodies and tin dictators who have amounted to nothing, never will amount to anything, and know that they've gone as far as they can in life, and sitting on the board of the HOA making petty demands and abusing what little power they have to inconvenience, harass and torment other members is the closest that they will ever come to tasting success.
Complain not about the HOA, but drive yourself towards success. Run for board membership and correct it from the inside. Seize what the other members need and take back control of your home! Don't become distracted by the pointless bylaws! Don't become distracted by the approved colors! Secure your position, and complete your mission by killing the Prime Minister of Equestria!
I can honestly see Twilight going to Mayor Mare and petitioning for the dissolution of the Ponyville HOA or have the city limits moved to allow The Friendship Castle to be resting on an unincorporated piece of property OUTSIDE of Ponyville. And then, eventually turning Motor Mouth, Picky Paper, and Record Keeper into statues in rude or lewd poses. Because FUCK HOME OWNERS ASSOCIATIONS.
"Sure let me just get my pen." Twilight growled through clenched teeth as her magic seized hold of a ceremonial sword, one that Celestia insisted she keep on hoof just in case any long standing traditions demanded its use.
I thought I was gonna read this and have a laugh.
It just made me mildly angry
You see this wouldn't be a problem if you had guards to quietly make sure they stop existing.
Mandatory home owner associations need the agreement of all or the great majority of homeowners in the area specified to be formed in the first place. If Ponyville has one, it's the fault of its inhabitants.
(BTW, if you are using this fic to cast shade on those who think Twilight's new castle is ugly as shit, that's low, Boopy. Low. )
Suddenly, a large, humanoid figure enters the room. His skin is purple, his chin is lumpy, and he's wearing a golden glove with three jewels on it. "Uh... hi. My name is Thanos. I was going to give your world the blessing of having its population halved, but the fact that people like this exist makes me think you've suffered enough. Would it be all right for you if I just had my minions kill them?"
Twilight nodded vigorously. "PLEASE!"
Thanos nodded, gesturing behind him. Cull Obsidian, Corvus Glaive, and Proxima Midnight stormed in, grinning viciously as they proceeded to mutilate the Ponyville HOA. As Twilight watched, savoring the Schadenfreude, Thanos added quietly, "Your world will have its population halved anyway once I get all the Infinity Stones..."
"What?" Twilight asked.
"Nothing," Thanos said.
not all HOA are bad. we had one in our neighborhood for years. Folded after half the council and the the Presiendt all retired and they couldn't agre on who should fill the seats.
But till then they kept out neighborhood clean and orderly without being anal retentive.
Now... there should be a sequel with Twilight getting all the rules of said HOA and nitpick EVERYTHING on the three...
Twilight:
"THIS IS OVER FOR YOU"
*Blasts them into the portal with the red sock puppet*
FUCK HOA's!
my house!
my lawn!
my grass!
my trash!
ill even color my house in salmon pink, vomit green, ink black, with a touch of baby blue on the roofs
My ex wanted to move into a development with a HOA. I refused. She asked why. I told her my choice and with a HOA I would lose the privilege of saying My Choice.
10969540
Authority often comes at the end of annoyance. Act in-control, ignore the detractors, and maintain the facade until it is no longer questioned, then make sure that your demands are met out of a sense of obligation or duty, rather than overt and explicit demands. Once you've done that, all you have to do to remain in power is to avoid ~actually~ inconveniencing someone with a spine and... HOA.
But since it's a community thing, it generally amounts to bargaining or bullying. If everyone's happy, no one questions. If everyone else has been doing it for years and it's only the new guy who's complaining... all the other sufferers ~must~ gang up or ignore it. No great surprise that malicious compliance or simply reading the ACTUAL laws tend to utterly decimate outrageous demands.
Such as if Twilight simply pointed out that 'natural disaster' trumps HOA, 'eminent domain' removes the property from Ponyville, or that as a government-appointed civil servant (let alone the granted title of 'Princess' that an absolute ruler granted), Twilight could piss in their coffee every morning for their benefit and they could do absolutely nothing.
I rather love hearing HOA horror stories... someone always snaps and goes the extra mile.
That's not how HOAs work. They can only enforce their rules if you sign a contract uppon moving in where the last owner was a member who can deny the sale if you don't sign. Since HOAs only have legal power with contracts, if you didn't sign, and they don't own the land, they can get fucked.
HOAs are not government entities.
This sounds like something an HOA would do. I've heard enough stories about them on YouTube to know that things quickly become a shit show if they aren't handled properly. And they have to have some SERIOUS guts to ask for an autograph after all of that.
I've certainly read horror stories about HOA's. Thankfully our's is pretty good, and basically so long as you don't do stupid stuff like blare music at 2 AM you won't have any problems. These guys sound like the sorts who probably don't even work with Mayor Mare at all, they just happen to be in the same building and have about as much real power as one of the janitors (heck probably less). I think that if Twilight wanted to she could write a letter to Celestia about oh...lèse-majesté perhaps?
I personally found her castle when it first appeared to be an eyesore compared to the rest of Ponyville's aesthetic, but calling her a PINO or making judgment calls on her person, and trying to weasel insane rules inside her home (which is illegal) is totally uncalled for. I'd like to see them try this carp again with Spike, Starlight, the rest of the gang on the premise 😈.
Hans, get der flammenwerfer.
Der. Heavy. Flammenwerfer.
10969497
Wow, so edgy. Bet that bit of genius took you all week to think up. Go fuck yourself.
10969927
No, but this is much more amusing than reality.
I mean, unless you're really into paperwork. Like, really into it.
10969579
Dude people can't even be bothered to vote for a mayor that runs their town or even the PTA. You think most people are anywhere near motivated enough to participate in something like an HOA?
10969497
Too far...
Okay, first of all, FYAY YOU. Second, I hope for your sake you packed a parachute. Third, enjoy un-alphabetizing your organs. B
.
10969995
do you mean this Flammenwerfer?
You know what Twilight should have done?
Ask to see the entire HOA bylaws. If they refuse, tell them she'll have them up on charges with both Diarchs for blackmail and extortion before the sun sets. Insist they allow her time to review the full by laws before responding to them or paying any fines. If they refuse, see above.
Then when they come back, present them with an official declaration from all four Princesses that the Ponyville HOA has been officially disbanded due to suspicion of illegal activities, ex. attempting to blackmail or extort a member of the royal family, and that if they want to dispute that they can do so in Canterlot.
This was a very good one-shot. Where I live we don't have that problem . I loved Heavy Hauler 75622 reply for this one-shot.
10970037
That sounds like a personal problem.
It also sounds like I get to tell them to shut up and stop whining about the HOA treating then unfairly when they refuse to do anything to remedy the situation. Instead of waiting for someone to save them, maybe they should start saving themselves.
10969729
*looks at the downvotes*
Humor was never my strong point. *shrugs*
And this is why I deliberately chose to buy a house in a neighborhood that did not have a HOA...
On the extreme end, I recall a case (not my case, thank the Lord!) where a fellow ran afoul of the Karen's that tend to make up HOAs, and shot up the monthly meeting. Two dead, four in hospital, IIRC... He was convicted of two counts of manslaughter, four counts of aggravated assault, and they dropped the reckless endangerment charges.... I think he ended up sentenced to 5 years, and only served two. The other residents testified at the sentencing hearing...
10970047
They're not wrong. See, for instance, The Beginning of the End and The Ending of the End.
10970078
this one actually. (Also TheRussianBadger's take on Deathwing on YouTube.)
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