It is over a hundred years after the events of Season 2. Equestria is in a desperate call for help due to a massive dragon invasion threatening to send the peaceful land into oblivion. Shadow Rush, a prodigy unicorn who is Celestia's personal student, makes an important discovery of a spell that is capable of taking control the minds of dangerous animals, known as: The Stare. The lack of information leads him and his zebra friend Zequus to travel to Ponyville, the town of origin of the spell, to learn more about its forgotten past. But the majority of the town's residents offers them little to no support with their quest, as they know The Stare holds a dark secret about its only user known to history and her attempts in mastering it's mysterious powers: the Elements of Kindness. The two scholars also hear the tale of The Weeping Filly, a local ghost story deeply feared by the inhabitants of the town, and they will soon discover that the stories behind those aren't so farfetched after all.
What is The Stare? What happened to it? What kind of powers does it hold? What is the Weeping Filly?
Some things should never be found an answer for, because there are affairs that no mortal mind can withstand.
Author's words: I wrote this fanfiction during the holidays after I had too much to drink, smoke and fell too much in thoughts, which was followed by me staring at the depicted image while listening to the End Of Days Score. After these combinations, it gave birth to this: The Stare, Malevolence of Evil. I hope you enjoy it and please share it if you enjoy, also give your critic on the story, I'm looking forward to see your reactions on my very first (official) fanfic.
Gesundheit!
Creepiest cover art I've ever seen.
your cover image literally scared the be-jesus out of me...
fun story though!
Dat...cover...art...agh.
Will read.
I spy a Meat the Pyro reference...
Overall, good story, if not a bit spooky for some. It is not exactly for the faint of heart.
However, here are some of the things I think might need some working on:
1- All caps. Yes, using caps at given moments add a dramatic feeling onto the scene. The only thing I seemed to have noticed about your story is that you write entire dialogues in caps, which bluntly put is a bit of an eyesore.
2- The rush. I don't want to sound that cheesy but I felt your story was a bit rushed. From the part where Shadow was sent to Ponyville to the end, I felt like there could have been more descriptions, more details, more characterization.
3-The characters. Frankly, I felt like Celestia was slightly OOC but still an acceptable presentation of her character. However, the characterization of your OCs are cut short and quite frankly left out like that. For example, I would have made Guilty Sparks angry when Shadow told her he was Celestia's student and everything but that's just me. Also, I kind of noticed Shadow was based on Twilight Sparkle's psyche but a bit too much at certain moments.
Apart from that, the story was mostly well executed. Good work on getting there, too.
Sincerely,
The Eclipsed
Raine Moon
wow. the diary part was creepy, might be because i read it 1:00a.m. in the morning.I liked your story though.
2318176 i wonder why there are dislike to this. this is one good story.
2318183
Dunno, its like people cannot stand true horror at times. Might of been the picture
If you did like it, please do share it around, being a struggling writer is hard.
I was randomly thinking about this story and decided to look it up again. I absolutely LOVED this story when I first read it. It's one of the best I've ever read on the site and I'm actually considering giving it a re-read, which I almost never do. Absolutely incredible work my guy, hope you see this comment