When Valiant Daybreak collapses in front of Fluttershy's cottage, the kind-hearted pony immediately takes him in and takes care of him. Little does she know that he is actually the Prince of Corralland, a distant country located across the ocean west of Equestria. Why is he in Equestria, and how will he react to her kindness?
Rated Teen for Safety
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Nice story.
I like the idea of a knight from a foreign land honor bound to protect Fluttershy.
This is a really good start. I'm not usually into OC stories but I think I'll have to follow this one. Just a couple of things to point out though, if you don't mind.
When he's thinking to himself you usually have it in italics, but there is one part his thoughts are in regular font. This here: " She doesn't want anything from me... She's helping me simply because she wants to... Just like... "
Also, for the most part we are in Valiant's head so it's a little jarring when suddenly we're in Twilight's head. You only do it a few times and very briefly (once with Fluttershy, too, I believe) but it's something you might want to think about in further chapters. Or just ignore me. Head hopping is my pet peeve so I pick up on it far too easily.
>>Tealove
My Bad... I'm actually pretty far ahead on writing the chapters, and copy-pasting this into the poster didn't copy over the italics. Must have missed that one. I'll do a better job of proof reading that one.
>>Xtrememan2
Thanks for the feedback! Nice to know someone else likes my story!
This, is an interesting story, I'm following this.
1300285 It happens to us all.
Yaa! I was wondering when this chapter would come out!
You've sparked my desire for more of this story please continue
Aw, I didn't mean to sound like I was calling you an amature or anything, I swear! It's just something I notice easy for some reason. I did it a lot myself (and still have issues with it especially with bigger casts) until my editor pointed it out to me. Once things are brought to your attention you pick them up yourself a lot easier.
This was a sweet chapter. Your characterization of Valiant is a good mix of mystery and endearing traits.
>>Tealove
Nonononono! I didn't take it that way at all! Hahaha... There's nothing wrong with being an amateur... Everybody starts somewhere right?
>>Bronyhooves
Sorry to keep you in suspense!
Hoping to post once a week from now on.
>>the_phycopath
Glad you enjoyed it!
For that one scene with the merchant pony and Valiant's sword...I will continue reading this.
But seriously, it was hilarious.
I love the way the oc talks
>>the_phycopath
Haha... You can thank my cousin for that... As she was editing the first couple chapters, she basically said, "this is how he should talk."
>>Tamazarashi
Yeah... I'm quite fond of that scene
>>Bronyhooves
Lovin dis story bro!
1398349
Your welcome! This is quite honestly the best fic i have read, no question. Good job!
What kind of jerk am I I forgot to like this story
>>the_phycopath
Naw... That probably means you actually have a life off the Internet, unlike me...
Your characterization of Dash was SPOT on! Well done.
>>Tealove
Thanks! Actually, she was one of the mane six I was worried about... Thanks for the confidence boost!
>>derpyhuman
I really appreciate the comment, but would you mind keeping your language a bit more PG
(this fic's only rated T for safety after all...). Not everybody who reads fan-fiction online likes language, and I don't want to offend anybody who might be sensitive to words like that... No hard feelings or anything. 
profanity just kinda bugs me.. 
That being said, would you mind editing your comment? Pretty please? 
Update: Sorry derpyhuman... I had to delete the comment.
If you want to repost it without the profanity, go right ahead. Sorry it came to that, but I must do what I must do. 
God twilight why?...
1447966 Thank you for saying that about the profanity in comments and such. I could not agree more and wish more people would speak up like you have. I know to some peope they're just words but I am definitely one of those sensitive few who really are bothered by them.
Badabababa im lovin this fic
I love Celestia, I don't care what anyone says. She's never been a troll in my book, just a ruler who is compassionate and truly cares about her subjects. Though this was short you conveyed that very well.
Two things I would point out though? She says "my little pony" too many times, I think. Once or twice would be okay but anything more than that feels awkward. Also, with the amount of time Valiant has been in Ponyville I can see him thinking of Fluttershy as family, but the others is kind of stretching it. Not saying this to be mean or however this may come across, just giving some constructive feedback.
I want the next chapter soooo bad...
>>Tealove
Thanks! Again, It's amazing to me how you are praising me for the depictions of the characters I was most worried about.
How many times did I use that line? Lol... She uses that line pretty much every episode she speaks in, so I used it a lot as well... I'll look at toning it down though, thanks! 
>>Bronyhooves
I want you to have the next chapter so bad... The next chapter is probably one of my favorites... Really hoping you all like it...
1466526
I need that chapter please post it soon
>>the_phycopath
Posted!
1490048
Thank you sir I do have to say that I loved that chapter
Hey guys... Sorry the next chapter is taking so long... I will attempt to have it posted by Thursday night at the latest...
Huzza!!!!!! Another chapter for me to strain my eyes on
Love the offer of a muffin. LOVE ALSO that I now know of another fellow Christian pony fan.
>>the_phycopath
Returning your pinkie pie smile
>>Tealove
I wondered
. Also happy! Didn't know many of us existed.
1606659 Another lovely chapter! Indeed, I am finding there are more of us than I thought.
A storm is a brewin
First fic I read after my disapearence from fimfiction that no one noticed... still as good as before...
Sooooooooooo... hoof to a fellow brony-god worshiper /)
omigawd... i vant moar...
...gasp
>>Bronyhooves
Thanks!
. Incidentally, I did notice you went away... I just figured you and Tealove had better things to do than read my story..... Nice to know others enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Glad you're back!
>>the_phycopath
Dun Dun DUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
I like cheese, too. And a good sword fight. Huzzah!
Mmmm... Cheese...
Ahhhhhhhh cheese... Love to you author.
Great chapter
>>Tealove>>Courageous>>the_phycopath
Thank's for your support everyone! I'm glad everyone enjoyed reading the fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. You guys are the best!
moar.
How can twi put her finger on it? would ponys even have that expression?
>>Darkheritic
Aww darn it! Thanks for picking that one up! Can't believe I overlooked that...
MOAR.
Moar?. It was definatly worth me waiting till you were done some of those cliffhangers would have killed me lol great story mate
MOAR
1736442
Nice pic bro :D