Princess Celestia strolled down a sidewalk in Midtown Canterlot. She stopped in front of Cat’s Howl and pushed open the door, making the bell hanging above it clang out loudly. Light Fantastic popped up from behind the counter.
“Whoa, princess! Welcome!”
“Hello, Miss Fantastic. I’m here to pick up my poster.”
“Aw, you could’ve had it delivered.”
“I don’t get to the cultural district much these days. I wanted to feel the vibe, as they say.”
“Midlo is a great part of town. Lots to see. Lots to buy, as well,” she said, gesturing around her store.
“It’s called ‘Midlo’ now?”
“‘The Midtown Canterlot Arts and Entertainment District’ was always a mouthful.”
Light passed her a cardboard tube. Celestia opened it and pulled out the poster inside. She examined it, smiling.
A small leaflet that had been clinging to the back of the poster fell to the floor. Celestia lifted it up to look. It was an advertisement for an upcoming line of merchandise based on Radish’s and Celestia’s bout, including T-shirts, mugs, stickers, and figurines.
“Oh, my. How did that get in there?” Light asked with insincere innocence.
“Seriously, Light? How much more are you going to milk those ten minutes?”
“Ponies have been clamoring for it! You know, there’s a ton of Celestia merchandise out there, but it’s all of you being regal and elegant. Now that everypony knows you’re a scrapper, they want to see you in action poses! Princess Pain taking on all comers!”
“Do I get a cut of this?”
“You’re a public figure. And Princess Pain is a legally distinct parody. So, no.”
“Does Radish?”
“You mean, Nightmare Root? No, but he gets a slice of me.”
“These other characters…”
“Yeah, I expanded the line. We’ve got fighter versions of everyone in the works! Eclipsa, the Moon Mistress! Jumble, the Mixed-up Monster! The Big Black Bug! And Shadowfall, the Tragic King. Lots of interest in that one- some ladies really love a bad boy. Not us, though, right?” she said with a wink.
“What about Twilight and her friends?”
“Oh, nopony really buys stuff of the Pastelles. They’re just too wholesome, I guess.”
“The Pastelles?”
“It’s, uh, kind of their nickname around Midlo. On account of them being, you know, a bunch of pastel girly girls.”
“I see. Perhaps they’ll broaden their appeal someday.”
She rerolled the poster and leaflet, and put them back in the tube. She slung it over her back.
“Good day, Light Fantastic. I enjoy our encounters.”
“Wait! Before you go, I had something else for you. A gift.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“I think it is. See, I was thinking about what you said about Rad’s cutie mark. How you find it insulting.”
“Please, Light. I feel bad about that.”
“No, you were being honest. But I think the reason it seems insulting is because there’s no context. It’s just one frozen image of him, eternally taking you from behind.”
Celestia sighed, and waited for her to continue.
“But what if there’s more to the story? What if that’s just one moment out of a long, beautiful encounter? So I made this!”
She slapped a homemade comic book on the counter. Celestia looked over her shoulder, then approached it.
“See?” said Light, showing her the pages. “It’s you and Rad. Making love.”
“Really, now, Light. There is such a thing as going too far.”
“No, look. Now, there’s a whole romantic evening leading up to the two of you acting out the mark. There’s dinner, conversation, dancing, and in the end, you cuddle. And you're the big spoon, princess. It was never about him dominating you, it’s about mutual, loving exploration of each other’s passions. It’s the context that the cutie mark is missing.”
Celestia stared at the comic. She flipped through the pages, then turned to the end. It depicted her and Radish snuggling in bed. They whispered sweet nothings to each other before drifting off to sleep.
“What do you think?” asked Light.
“You’re a talented artist, Light Fantastic.”
“You do like it!”
“This is one of the oddest gifts I have ever received. I appreciate what you’ve done here. And yes, it puts Radish’s cutie marks in a much more agreeable context.”
“That’s great!” she said, slipping the comic into a brown paper bag.
“This is the only copy, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Does Radish know about this?”
“Oh, he’d freak out if he knew.”
“Let’s keep it between us girls, then.”
“Sure.”
“Have a nice day, Miss Fantastic.”
“See ya when I see ya, ‘stia.”
Celestia reached the door and opened it. She turned her head back.
“Oh, and do take care of Radish. I have a feeling his life is about to get a great deal more complicated.”
Celestia walked out the door. Light Fantastic sat back on her stool.
“Now, what could she mean by that?”
A flush came from the bathroom in the back of the store. Splash Page trotted out. Light looked at him. He looked at Light.
“Was that really the only copy?”
“Get out of here.”
Light Fantastic set a mug of coffee in front of Radish, then sat next to him at her kitchen table.
“So, Underglaze said the new installation is almost up. Took them long enough," she said.
“They used migratory birds to build it,” noted Radish. “Of course it takes long when your workforce is gone half the year.”
“That’s art, baby.”
A wisp of smoke seeped into Light Fantastic’s kitchen. It coalesced into a scroll, and Light caught it with a wing.
“Hey, you got a dragon mail. Uh, it’s marked ‘urgent’.”
“Let me see that.”
Radish unfurled it and read.
“Let me guess,” scoffed Light, leaning back with her mug. “The Purple Squirt’s friends not getting along again? ‘Dear Radish, Rainbow Jack said the awful-est thing to Pinker Fly. How will we ever save the world again without our constant sing-alongs? You’re the only one I can ever write to because I don’t have a boyfriend of my own.’”
“Mmm. Mmm hmm,” Radish said, reading the scroll.
“Well?”
“Fanny… it’s Twilight. She… she…”
“What?”
“Twilight just became a princess!”
“Whoa, she got married? Eloped with… who’s a prince… Blueblood? Weird pair, but I don’t judge.”
“No. She invented new magic and turned into an alicorn.”
“Oh, come on.”
“She’s got wings now.”
“You can do that?”
“And she’s going to be crowned soon. In the palace.”
“Is this an invitation? Do we get VIP seats? Free champagne?”
“She’s saying Barrel Roller is adamant that security will be adequate. But Shining Armor insists on bringing in Crystal Empire guards for the coronation…”
“Big surprise. Throwing his big floppy authority around.”
“But she wants to know if I have any suggestions for improving the main tower’s security, like I did at Luna’s. She could pass them along to the right ponies.”
“Aw, she’s a nice kid. That would be a big deal if you could.”
“Yeah. The main tower is huge. It’s ancient. It’s busy all day, every day. And four princesses will be inside at one time.”
He put down the scroll. He got a far-off look on his face.
“Honey, you know Shining and Barrel will never listen to your suggestions, even coming from Twilight.”
“By ‘the right ponies’, she meant AG1.”
“The Pastelles?”
“They’re not the ditzes everypony thinks they are. They’re taking major roles in the preparations. They have free rein of the palace and a lot of latitude.”
“So?”
“Nah, nevermind. There’s no way the main tower has any security issues. Celestia’s worked there for a thousand years. She hasn’t ruled that long by being careless. And four princesses mean it’s the safest place in the world- no one’s going to mess with that kind of power. Although…”
“Although?”
“I’ve always hated the sight lines around the base. Most buildings at the palace are really big, round, and crowded together. A lot of the perimeter of that tower is obscured from a lot of angles. The kitchen door on the ground floor is constantly left open with nobody inside…”
“Why?”
“The garlic smell.”
He grabbed some paper and a pencil. He started sketching the tower’s floor plans.
“And those colonnades. They’re so easy to hide in. There’s no checkpoints along them. Somepony could just run or fly right down them.”
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
“Since the wedding. The balcony floor is nice and isolated, but the floor right below, that’s the throne room. It’s huge and open. Under that is Celestia’s office. It’s also huge. There’s air ducts in these walls that pass through those three floors…”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“It’s in the Guard book. No one’s watching the office during a coronation, and it has a lock that Celestia opens with her horn.”
“So, nopony else can get in there?”
“No, it has a backup keyhole. It’s nonmagical, and it’s centuries old…”
Radish looked down at everything he had drawn.
“Somepony could slip in the kitchen, sneak through the colonnades, pick the lock to her office, get up through the ducts, and come out through the vents on the roof above the balcony where the four princesses will be.”
“Rad, I know you dig this spycraft stuff, but if you bring that to your bosses, they’re going to say you’ve been watching too many movies.”
“Fine. It’s just a thought.”
Radish lay prone on a parapet tower balcony. He focused his binoculars on the palace’s main tower.
Why is this taking so long?
He looked at the vent on the roof. No change. He looked at the balcony below it. He could make out Celestia and Luna inside. He didn’t have an angle on Twilight, but he could tell from the roar of the crowd inside and the start of a song that she had just been crowned.
Good on you, Twilight. And here they come.
Celestia and Luna led the newly-crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle to the balcony. She waved, not looking too nervous. Celestia whispered something to her, and Twilight started a speech. She waved her five friends onto the balcony with her.
No, not them. Don’t put all the eggs on one balcony.
Almost every important pony in Equestria was now within ten meters of each other. If anyone was going to attack, now would be the time. He tensed up, scanning the roof, the windows, then random points of interest in the environs.
He looked across the cheering crowd. He changed position and looked at the other towers, then glassed the sky for oncoming flying threats. No changeling swarm this time. No rogue dragon popping in for a pony roast.
Shining Armor should’ve thrown up his shield. This whole thing was reckless.
He looked back down. The princesses were just now moving back in. He breathed for the first time in five minutes. His heartbeat returned to normal.
He looked in the windows of the main room. He could see the throng inside slowly filtering out. Twilight was now fully visible through one of the windows. She turned her head right in Radish’s direction. She made a series of covert hoof gestures, then continued on.
It was Plains Rangers signal code. The gestures meant, in order, “all clear”, “thank you”, and “come to me”.
Twilight, you little nerd. You should have been way too busy to memorize those.
Oh no, Harmony wouldn't hear of it. There's entirely too much singing scheduled for something as gauche as an unscripted assassination.
Did Discord get skipped or something? Kind of forgot if Radish knew about Celestia want reform him and thought Discord and Radish would meet before Twilight becomes an Alicorn.
heh, The Pallettes. I dig it
Nice
That comic book is a very nice touch. Real gift.
Nah, that episode was 2 Seasons ago.
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The chapter The Parolee covers that.
So cute!! I love it!
Coronation clear. And quite nice gift from Fantastic to Celestia; context is indeed important, and still a mystery on the real-mark.
Oh, Light… That’s so sweet of you. Now I really want you to win, but you literally just gave Celestia ammo to get over her hump, and I dunno that etiquette would stop her from stealing Radish if she was afraid of just how long it might be until someone else as worthy as Radish or her first love came along…
On a completely separate note, Twilight is a Princess now. I’m pretty sure I get why this arc says things are about to get complicated for Radish. What are the odds either Shining or Twilight want him to be in charge of Twilight’s Guard?
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It did? Well, I guess I wish Discord meet Radish since he was reformed… I guess we might see him very soon I hope.
well that is the end of season 3.
and we all know how season 4 starts.
awesome chapter amazing righting.
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Soon there's episode where Twilight is leaved solo ruler for a day (with flashback potion) because other princesses will gone missing.
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Yea. the One were we learn that the guard don't know how to work without a princess telling them what to do.
There is also the one were Celestia sends Twilight, alone, into a unknown world to face unknow numbers, and tell her she is not allowed to have anyone help her. I have a feeling that if Radish gets thru without Celestia stopping him, he will grab Sunset and be back over in under 10 mins. I could see her stopping him... then he waits till everyone leaves the room and head thru anyway.
The way Radish was illustrating the palace structure to Light so she could see what he was talking about, has me very worried that she's some sort of deep cover spy, and that this little slip up on his part is going to come back and bite him so damn hard later on down the line.
I know Radish is happy with Light, but I will always like the idea of him and Twilight
Well, Spiderman took inspiration from Star Wars to trip Ant-Man in Civil War, even if Captain America:Civil War is also a movie.
To-may-to, To-mah-to.
I am still not sure if we are playing the long con with Light or if she is actually the genuine thing.
But it's kinda fun to keep second guessing everything she says.
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"Where did you find this kid?"
"I don't know, I didn't carbon-date him!"
"Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine."
"Yeah, but the kid's seen more movies."
Real talk, I LOVE this about Spider-Man, and that's DEFINITELY how I would think if I had superpowers.
Hmm, a lot less Twilight and Radish interaction than I thought there would be, but still good
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Haha. Let’s face it. The Nerd and the Ranger will always be friends
Hey, now that Twi has wings, I wonder if she and Light will have any pegasi talk between them? You know, as two pegasus gals?
Twi drops in to that Arty Farty Quarter of Canterlot after business with Big C, then makes comments on how troublesome her flappers are can be.
Heh, can you see her knocking things over in Light’s studio?
That’s just begging for some wholesome interaction between the two, and we have never seen the two of them talk together.
Esperaba ver si había alguna interacción o reacción de Radish para cuando el imperio de cristal regreso. Parece ser que no será el caso, lo que sigue en la línea del canon es Equestri Girls y Tirek, será grandioso ver el segundo ya que dudo que el primero sea una realidad por las cosas que implica y la rallada mental que sería realizarlo.
I was waiting to see if there was any interaction or reaction from Radish by the time the crystal empire returned. It seems that it will not be the case, what follows in the line of the canon is Equestri Girls and Tirek, it will be great to see the second one since I doubt that the first one is a reality because of the things it implies and the mental grating that it would be to do it.
Espero ser paranoico con todo esto al respecto, pero, toda está información es increíblemente sensible para Light Fantastic y/o cualquier oído que haya sido capaz de escuchar. Hasta que no me queden dudas de que Light Fantastic no es alguien con intenciones maliciosas, no dejare de sospechar de ella.
Gran capitulo, siga así.
I hope I'm being paranoid about all of this, but, all of this information is incredibly sensitive to Light Fantastic and/or any ears that might have been able to listen. Until I have no doubts that Light Fantastic is not someone with malicious intent, I will not stop suspecting her.
Great chapter, keep it up.
Translated by Google.
Radish... even if you love Light Fantastic and trust her with your life, you really, really shouldn't blab about the palace security like that. It's unprofessional and does create a legitimate security risk. She's still just a civilian, and civilians don't need to know about that stuff...
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I think the whole point of that chapter was Discord just not...paying any attention to Radish whatsoever despite the latter’s suspicion and worries. Which to be fair makes a surprising amount of sense for Discord, since as far as we’re aware he may never have actually noticed anything of what Radish was up to during his first outing -- his traps were set for Nightmare Moon and their messages clearly prerecorded, how much of the subsequent chaos outside the immediate Canterlot/Ponyville area he even paid any attention to is fuzzy at best, and he got stoned before Radish and his bat family could quite make it back onto the scene. As far as Dissy is concerned, Radish Root might to this day still simply be “Radish Who?”.
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It's possible that the mushroom effect is permanent and discord can't exist around him