Author's Notes
The Soul of a Pony
Author's Notes
Well, here we are. The completion of my first ever piece of fanfiction, and indeed of fiction of any kind. It's been a hell of a ride, that's for sure. I thought, at this point, that it would be good to share a few things about my experience. This is going to be rather personal, and probably a bit weird. If you don't care for that, then by all means stop reading here. You can get the full experience of SoaP without ever seeing this.
I guess the first thing to do is to acknowledge all the people who helped me with this story. Frankly, it's a short list. I wrote and edited everything myself; no-one else sees my words until I hit that "publish" button. This is subject to change as I go forward, now that I have a couple of brony friends who have expressed interest in being my pre-readers. I would, however, like to thank Sky Pirate, the EqD pre-reader who approved my story. He gave me some much-needed feedback about the first few chapters, which I took to heart for the rest. I'd also like to thank Sir W. Hammer, for being an inspiration to me, and to us all.
Obviously, I couldn't have written this story without the geniuses behind "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". It's their vision and their characters that gave me the foundations for my writing. So, to them, I give my humblest and most sincere thanks. Also, I probably should have mentioned earlier, in the traditional disclaimer format, that the show, settings, and characters belong to them, not to me.
I also want to thank all the people who have stuck with my little writing project. It's your support and feedback that have kept me motivated. I know it's been rough, and the waits have occasionally been long, but you believed in me, and for that I am forever grateful.
Now that the sappy stuff is taken care of, it's time for some random information about how I wrote this story. I started, as I may have mentioned in a comment somewhere, by thinking about what a Fluttershy soulgaze would look like. I wrote out a little, freeverse poem about it, and realized I had something good. I then thought about how such a thing might come about. I narrowed it down to either Harry Dresden stumbling across Equestria or Twilight trying out a new spell. I think you can figure out which one I picked.
By the time I started writing the second chapter, I'd roughed out the first six. I knew the order of soulgazes, and I knew what each would look like. Unfortunately, I then decided to rest on my laurels for a bit, and neglected to draft out chapter seven. The result of this was a six-week delay between updates, of which I am still ashamed.
I did a great deal of my drafting in public, which had some interesting results. At the time, I was not quite ready to embrace my brony status to the world at large, and therefore did some pretty bizarre things to obfuscate what, exactly, I was doing. For example, I only ever referred to the ponies' names in code. Rainbow Dash became S-Hog, Pinkie was F-Cab, Rarity was M-Low, Twilight was V-Win, AJ was J-Dan, and Fluttershy was D-Gun. If you can figure out the process of word association and warped logic I used to assign these names, I salute you.
With my basic understanding of Microeconomics, I have determined that, by writing this story, I cost myself about $400. That is roughly the amount I could have made if I devoted the same amount of time and effort into my (part-time) job as I did into writing. As of 3 December, SoaP has been viewed more than 5,400 times. Were it possible to charge people to read my story, that would equate to less than eight cents per view. Maths is fun!
Anyway, that's enough out of me. Enjoy your lives, and pony on.
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Additional information: Each chapter has a subtitle. The plan was to include them in the story itself somehow, but it just never happened. Instead, here are the subtitles/alternate titles for each chapter.
The Hostess (The Outcast)
The Performer (The Fool)
The Noble (The Miser)
The Farmer (The Orphan)
The Caretaker (The Dragon)
The Student (The Failure)
As you can see, they're pretty depressing. Perhaps it's for the best that I left them out.
1734765
Definitly for the best...although I think it might be intresting to do a follow-up of this, but with a darker tone. Y'know, explore the darker sides of the Mane Six further? Just a thought.
It was an enjoyable read and hopefully we will get more of your writing if you so desire.Its bugging me now, what was the codes used for the names it went right over my head wich is pretty good cause i aint a midget.
This is great.
This song sorta fits if you think of it as discovering what you already know and finding out what is hidden, or something like that.
"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts."
-Earl Weaver
And then it was over. A great ride to say the least.
J-Dan was probably short for Jack Daniels, which loosely references Applejack due to certain parts of the fandom. As for the rest of those names... no idea.
This was a great story and I think you should keep writing should the inspiration hit you.
Interesting piece, well-written, and yet... something was missing. It was fine and dandy, and I'm struggling to come up with any concrete flaw to point to, but it just didn't move me emotionally. It felt a little... artificial, mechanical, by-the-numbers... that sort of thing. It didn't, at any point, truly grab me. The closest it came was the conflict with Rarity, which felt very real and logical. The soulgazes were especially lackluster, though I wish I could tell you exactly why.
I realise that what I just wrote is stunningly unhelpful, but there it is. I liked this story; certainly enough for a thumbs up, but it's not quite fave-material.
1735039 1734865
I'm guessing S-Hog was Sonic the Hedgehog, due to Rainbow's need to go fast.
Love your story, author, and it's all the more inspiring to hear this was your first.
S-Hog. My deductive skills of reasoning draw parallels between our speedy blue pegasus and the speedy blue hedgehog, Sonic.
Congrats on finishing it. It was a good piece, and I can't wait to see more from you!
There are 7 characters in the main cast, Spike being the seventh. Here I was hoping for a chapter on him and he's, yet again, ignored. And this disappoints me.
Thumbs down.
1735137
Yep, you got it, but for slightly different reasons. It actually went Rainbow Dash -> Spin Dash -> Sonic the Hedgehog -> S-Hog
1735217
... Yes?
Too many words to describe how clap-worthy this fanfiction is.
Congratulations, Gizogin. Good on you
Guessing code names for fun.
Rainbow Dash became S-Hog. Already been stated, Sonic. Rainbow Dash -> Spin Dash -> Sonic The Hedgehog -> S-Hog
Pinkie was F-Cab. F for filly, maybe? She certainly acts like the youngest in terms of maturity of the mane 6. PP -> Youngest -> Filly -> F-Cab.
Rarity was M-Low. No clue, you got me stumped.
Twilight was V-Win. This is completely out of left field, and making a personal assumption on you. V for Vaarsuvius from Order of The Stick? They're both magic wielders, same hair color, maybe Twilight is your favorite pony? Twilight Sparkle -> Best Pony -> Magic -> Vaarsuvius -> V-Win.
AJ was J-Dan. I'm guessing Jack Daniels.
Fluttershy was D-Gun. Fluttershy is, quite simply, adorable. Her personality, her look, everything about her. What do most people associate adorableness with? D'aws. D'aw gun maybe? Fluttershy -> Adorable -> D'aw -> D-Gun
This was really interesting to try. I bet I got none of these right, but it was a fun brain teaser, even though it was not presented as such.
1735507 Or maybe F for Fat since she eats so much.
1735555, 1735507
Pinkie Pie is Spanish.
Rarity is air-puffed.
Twilight passed legal.
Fluttershy is timid.
This is fun!
1735603 Well i dont know about pinkie or twi for sure your hint on rarity is obviously marshmallow and fluttershy i have a slight inkling like i should know but i cant remember
Pinkie was F-Cab. Also Spanish.
Rarity was M-Low. Air-Puffed
Twilight was V-Win. Passed Legal
Fluttershy was D-Gun. Timid.
I'm all detectived out. I can't make heads nor tails of these clues. I suppose I'll try again tomorrow.
since sombody already figured out that rainbow dash's code name refers to sonic I am going to take a swing at Rarity's and say the obvious that M-low refers to Marshmallow
, and i feel that maximus might be right about Applejacks J-Dan refers to Jack Daniels
Twilgiht and her curiousity must die.
Yes. All my yes. Somebody present this man with a clapping Lyra.
1735896
I... I don't know what to say. I guess I'd like to thank the academy, and my parents. You guys are the best, I couldn't have done it without you!
In news that is related in no way whatsoever, any tropers in my readership?
1735507>>1735713>>1735603
Fluttershy is Dragon? That's the first thing I thought of when I looked at that one. And maybe Pinkie's has something to do with Fiesta? No clue on Twilight's and the other three are already solved so I won't repeat the conclusions.
I can give you eight cents, if you'd like. If that's okay with you.
1736925 Yeah, yeah. I usualy catch myself on that, too. shrugpony.jpg
Are you a wizard?
1737032 //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
Well written and thought out. I liked it very much. Thanks for a good read.
Wait, were there any Spanish revolutionaries whose names began with F? Such as...
Francisco Largo Caballero, a leader of the Spanish Socialist Party. And we all know how Pinkie loves being social at parties.
As for the others...... ... No Idea.
V-Win... Viewer's Window? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
I must confess I sorta hope folks figure these out as I'm quite curious
1738515
DO THIS THING
1735137 Cool guess dam now we must get the rest
My first thought was Sweathog. I enjoyed Welcome Back, Mr. Kotter, and could see Dash fitting in with greasers well enough. Coolness good, learning bad.
Fiesta Caballo (Party horse!) is a lovely name for Pinkie and I kind of want to find other times to call her that, now.
V-Win still baffles me. Simple as "viewing," in that she's the one looking into souls?
Twilight
- That about does it. I've soul-gazed all of my friends.
- All of them?
- Yep, every single one. I've even soul-gazed myself to be extra thorough.
- Oh. Okay...
Spike
Twilight
Spike
What do you suppose a Spike soul gaze would look like?
On the subject of soul gazes, I've never read the Dresden Files, but the internal world idea reminds me a bit about the levels in Psychonauts, and the reality marbles in the Fate series. I haven't played enough of Psychonauts, so I can't really comment on that, but the reality marbles are different in that they essentially "invert the world engraved on the soul", or temporarily bring a few people into a representation of the caster's internal world. The full explanation is very detailed
, and it is incredibly awesome whenever a reality marble shows up.
tl:dr; Looking into someone's internal world is neat!
The wiki explanation can get pretty darn technical. http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Reality_Marble
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120508175621/typemoon/images/b/bf/UBW.jpg
very good but im unlikly to read it agen the only thing i think would make it better would be to have twilight comferet her friends after every soulgaze
1734765 I don't know, those would be very good for a different fanfic? Maybe this time a Dresden cross-over?
Ah well, good luck wherever this takes you. With some work, I believe that you will become a great writer.
Good luck good sir.
In regards to your names,,,,25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m85dgr0qLw1rsdgkao1_1280.jpg
This was certainly a nice story that provided me with several lunch breaks of entertainment! Nicely written with few, if any, mistakes and more importantly an interesting and well-executed plot. I think the only thing that bothered me was Rarity's reaction, which is likely just a result of differing mindsets; what Twilight did was wrong, certainly, and I'm glad you finally had a character reprimand her about carelessly taking a poke into people's souls, but the level to which Rarity freaks out over it just seemed a little... excessive? It's hard to say, because while I felt her reaction was justified, Rarity's main complaint was that the soulgaze could reveal a pony's deepest, darkest secrets... which it doesn't. From my understanding, the soulgaze it very abstract in nature and only gives a broad overview of a pony's personality. It reveals traits many of which I felt Twilight would already know.
And now I'm ranting. But yes, other than that one niggle, very good work!
1743443
I'm guessing you came from Equestria Daily. Due to shenanigans, the story update post there didn't note that this story is, in fact, complete.
I probably did mean "subconsciously". I need to re-read that part and see what makes more sense to me. I'm not perfect, after all; maybe I made a mistake.
1743360
And, to your earlier comment, I say this: I'm not very good at varying my sentences. Thanks for pointing this out. I'll probably go back and do a massive sweep of edits now that I'm done writing.
You forgot to thank Jim Butcher for coming up with the concept of a soul gaze. I am disappointed in you, young man. Not enough to thumb down, though. Generally I like the story.
1743751 Well, Rarity overreacting is hardly out of the ordinary. What Twilight did simply wasn't "proper".
This was a fun read. But now you need a sequel exploring some other characters through soulgaze. some possibilities would include Spike (duh), Big Mac, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Granny Smith, Cadence, Shinning Armor, The CMC (WAIT NO, Bad Idea!), Carrot Top, etc....
I would also add Trixie to the list, but this PMV would pretty much sum up what it would look like.
I'll leave it to you to analyze her sample if it's valid of course.
1740126
Eyes are the windows to the soul...
The soulgaze only works with direct eye contact.
Twilight Sparkle -> Viewing souls -> Eyes -> Windows -> V-Win
1750065, 1740126
No, sorry. V-Win stands for "Vampire Twinkle". The "passed legal" comment was a reference to what Lauren Faust said when asked if Twilight's name was an intentional joke at the expense of the Twilight saga.
M-Low is "Marshmallow", and F-Cab is "Fiesta Caballo". Never mind that it doesn't actually make much sense in Spanish.
I liked this story. Nice to see this kind of take on the mane 6. It also had a good touch of sadness to it (Applejack, Pinkie Pie) and I think it would of been nice to have the subtitles worked in. When showing good and the bad, a good balance needs to be made and I felt you could of gone a tad more.... not darker, more critical?
Also, this could be more a criticise of your writing abilities, but I felt that when Twilight got surprised, she seemed kinda was.. unmoved? There was a lot of "Twilight said yada yada" and dialogue. It felt that it was missing emotional description. It's not bad, I just felt that scene missed something.
Anyway, greenthumbed!
wow this was extremely beautiful
great job on your first fanfiction
I enjoyed your interpretations ofeveryone too
great job
1740597 Yeah, Spike would have gotten an awesome soulgaze. Spike is close enough to Twilight that by all accounts, he should be included in at least a quarter of the adventures that the mane six go on.
The way that Twilight treats him would make him:
30% Little Brother
15% Son
45% Butler
10% Pet
But even though Spike still has the maturity of a 14 year old boy, his draconian instincts and the fact that he will live for thousands of years have granted him incredible patience, and he can put up with a lot of shit.
1734765
I am wondering if you have been able to accept your brony status in public yet? Please don't hate me, and I only ask because I am writing a fic as well and know exactly what you are talking about. Still though, you are very brave to just hit the publish button. For me, I get so paranoid about everything I post and run it though spell check, grammar check, and any other check I can think of before I even think of posting.
Good story by the way. It was a truly enjoyable read. Looking forward to more. That is... if it's not too much of a bother.
I think you depicted Fluttershy's and Applejack's souls best!