Just a common PhD student who trawls the Internet each day to find terrible, TERRIBLE things.
This story is a sequel to Friendship Is Magic - Extended Cut
Nightmare Moon has been defeated and Princess Luna restored, and Twilight Sparkle is well on her way to rewriting the entire history of the Lunar Rebellions.
It’s a shame nothing the Princess has to say makes any sense whatsoever.
A serious fantasy adventure based on the Season 1 episode Feeling Pinkie Keen.
Co-written with Serketry.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, I have to say that I am glad to see you finally have the second story in this series up and running. It took a while, but was definitely quite well worth the wait. Immensely adored the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Really loved seeing Spike calm Twilight down concerning her worries about that impending meeting, as well as the reflections on the work of the royal engineers, the check-ups with the rest of the Mane Six , Twilight making quick work of the press and the meeting with Fancypants and Cadance. Also really appreciated the importance in Celestia and Twilight's argument with the Ministry (including the early-bird cameos by characters who will play more important roles later in the series [and, yeah, I could kind of see where Twilight might remind Firelight at least a bit of his own daughter]).
Yeah. Makes a lot of sense to set this almost immediately after the previous story. And I can also understand making this at least slightly lighter in tone than the previous story (as you said, closer to a standard episode of Star Trek: the Next Generation) as, while this might have more action and greater detail than the canon series, it still isn't a dark series (which I really appreciate).
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
I'm just glad this thing's finally seen the light of day. More to come!
I utterly adore this story, perhaps even more so than the first, and it's only two chapters in!
Great work on this latest chapter. Definitely adored the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Really liked Twilight and Spike's back and forth messages at the start of the chapter (including the foreshadowing concerning Luna's journal) as well as Twilight reading what notes she had concerning the build up to the original conflict on her way to Fillydephia, the chat with Forward March on the way to see Luna and then the dialogue with Luna. Definitely like the notes that the Extended Cut ponies PREFER oats, fruits and vegetables (Fluttershy in particular, obviously), but CAN eat eggs and fish as well as the points concerning cows, pigs and deer on sapience (yeah, that IS a bit too much of a socio-political can of worms, even if racism is still addressed frequently with species like zebras, buffalo, griffons, dragons, changelings, etc.)
Yeah, very definitely looking forward to more of this.
Well a dead body isn't insignificant. Personally I think twilight being too stubborn about this. New ideas are good but sometimes so are the old ones too. Maybe there is something to this gift thing.
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We shall see.
I honestly adore that you made Pinkie more sassy and back-talking, and changing the focus to Luna really does help the story out a lot more. Fluttershy singing Enter Sandman was a nice treat too.
VERY little I could say beyond really good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-ups in all the right places. Appreciate Twilight admitting how out of her depth she is with certain aspects of this investigation as well as the dialogues with the crew, Pinkie, Fluttershy and Luna. And, yeah, Twilight might be a bit overly stubborn here, but she IS at least being honest enough to acknowledge that certain details of this investigation will require eras of experience that she HASN'T studied. And, yeah, the points you made in the author's notes do make sense as well, especially the reason for changing the focus from Pinkie to Luna,
Anyway, really looking forward to more of this.
Again, a really good job on this latest chapter. Definitely enjoyed the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up, naturally. Definitely got some laughs out of Twilight's confusion concerning the weird-sounding names for all those things in that article before Pinkie and Spike helped her figure things out. Also definitely respected the effort that went into the quick-mud rescue. And the confusion about the "selectively invisible" beings certainly makes sense for somebody with a hard science (or as close to hard science as a high fantasy realm can allow) background, even if Twilight was being stubborn enough to not listen to Luna as much as she should be. Also appreciated the scene at the hospital with the doctor (mostly the frustratingly snooty but not completely without good reason attitude, even if the fact that Twilight had all that back-up was a pretty good indication that she, at least, DIDN'T think she was invincible even before the injuries) and the reminder to take it a lot easier for a while (even if Twilight probably isn't going to give up until she has hard evidence one way or the other).
VERY certainly going to be looking forward to more of this.
I must say, I've really come to look forward to the updates to this story. FIM:EC was great, and this is shaping up to be just as good or better. They remind me of Forthwith's longer works.
About the only small issue causing hiccups to my enjoyment is the sporadic missing space between words. Copy-paste issues, perhaps? If you'd like, I could point them out for you.
Will this story be shorter or longer then the previous story?
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I think it turned out to be roughly half the length.
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It appears to be an issue transferring the final draft into FF.net's system. Looks like issues around the html code for italics, boldface, stuff like that, which have to be added in by hand.
Edit: yeah, it was bad coding. Should be pretty much fixed up, now.
REALLY good job on this latest chapter. Definitely appreciated the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Certainly respected the experiments Twilight had been doing while she was recovering, as well as the theories she was running and why. Also have to respect how well Spike was holding down the fort in Twilight's absence. Admittedly, the stuff with what boiled down to essentially a "magic based lie detector" kind of made me feel as uneasy as it did Spike and March Forward, but at least Twilight DID eventually realize that she WAS going too far (though only time will tell if she holds on to that realization). And, of course, the foreshadowing for the hydra AND for later adventures (i.e. the reference to a "Chrysalis complex") were well done too.
REALLY looking forward to more of this.
Well, finally Twilight sees the light, so to speak
At least she be more mature about luna weird abilities. Considering before she was just short of a tantrum.
Excellent job on this latest chapter. Definitely enjoyed the work that went into the exchanges, action, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Definitely appreciated Twilight's combining concern with common sense (at least enough to get an entire search team before going to look for the missing group), as well as understanding why Fluttershy's group might have gotten chewed out for NOT reporting back that they were going to be late beforehand. Definitely loved the battle with the hydra (particularly the trained professionals doing their parts without overshadowing Twilight and vice versa) and Twilight gaining a bit more acceptance of Luna's more unusual abilities (even with the understandable frustration of Luna's interruption coming during the hydra battle). Also respected the reasoning for making this an impromptu camping trip.
Really looking forward to more of this. I'm guessing the next chapter is probably going to be either the last or second to last chapter before the epilogue, though I will admit that I could be wrong.
An enjoyable read. I like the moral of this story more than the moral of the original episode
Can't wait to read more. You write the fleshed out version of MLP that deserves to exist between the lines of the cartoon.
Alright! And another one published! Hope y'all enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun planning this one out, writing dialog, bouncing ideas back and forth with the Admiral- even down to whether this EC should exist at all. Anyway, stay tuned, our next EC is coming soon.
I really want to see the Lunar Tour. Not in the comedic "Luna vs. Indoor Plumbing" way, either.
And the other question this brings up, to me...Was NMM getting updates via invisible spylon while on the moon?
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You'll have to form your own conjecture, but there's a clue in Friendship is Magic.
One of the things I've noticed is that you seem to be rather enamoured with playing lavender unicorn syndrome straight and it is rather distracting
Thanks very much for getting the final chapter to this posted. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Indeed, as the previous story, based on a two-parter was a fourteen chapter deal, it makes sense that the single-episode stories would be seven chapters. But, anyway, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future story set-up in all the right places. Really appreciated Twilight's acknowledgements that there ARE going to be at least a few mysteries that aren't going to be solved in HER life time as well as her being respectful enough to share her findings and theories with Luna ( yes, it DOES seem the most likely that Nightmare Moon is VERY subconsciously sharing memories with Luna) and actually ask her permission before continuing her examinations in modified ways. And, yeah, the ironic foreshadowing to Twilight eventually becoming an alicorn herself is rather well done, as was the detail of Spike's vision being predominantly based on heat (which is good fore-shadowing for Ember's stuff about "most ponies looking alike to her" later on making MUCH more sense). Also appreciated the note to Celestia acknowledging that, perhaps hoping for the best but preparing for the worst IS the most logical course of action with Luna (as is continuing to work toward the best in order to make the best much more likely).
At any rate, I am very certainly going to be looking forward to the next story in this series.
Missing a letter on unreal.
If that wasn't a Star Trek IV reference, I'll eat my metaphorical hat.
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Indeed it was. Welcome back, Paul.
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Thanks! I'm only mildly surprised that anyone remembers STIV is a thing. It's almost as old as I am.
(We need a Starswirl emote.)
You can has review!
Dang it, Luna, stop messing with the event flags.
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You say that like the entire reason she was banished these last thousand years wasn't messing with the day-night cycle (okay, fine, and also blowing up the seat of Equestrian government, but they kind of had it coming)...
Outstanding stuff, and vastly improved in message and moral when compared to the source material. (Though part of me regrets the loss of a perfectly good hydra. Mostly the part that plays big green creatures with trample.) Good to see neither party completely in the right, and both of them willing to recognize that they have something to learn from the experience. Pinkie being the one to point out Twilight's folly is the icing on the cake.
I will say that I'm a bit concerned about how hard Twilight has hitting the poppy juice, but hopefully Ponyville General won't refill her prescription after this.
In any case, thank you for it. On to the next installment!
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You know, you are the second person to express regret at the obliteration of the hydra. That doesn't, like offend me as an author or anything, but I am a little bit surprised. I was writing it as just a big dumb (actually kind of clever) animal, and didn't really plan to have any emotion in particular attached to it. Maybe it's because the hydra is actually the first living creature with significant screentime in Extended Cut to be unequivocally killed instead of talked down, driven off, or given severe but survivable injuries. RD disassembles some revenants in FiM EC, but those were already dead anyway, and Nightmare Moon's fate as a separate entity from Luna is -following the original episode- intentionally somewhat ambiguous.
I like being able to reliably bump off minor enemies or side characters without the limits of a TV-Y rating in these stories, but on the balance I'd say it actually causes more problems than it solves. There are so many times where a villain should just kill the mane six and be done with it, or the Mane Six should be well within their rights to do the same to a villain, but since those characters persist through all nine seasons I have to invent some reason why they are spared. Chrysalis imprisoning Twilight and Cadance instead of killing them and dumping their bodies in the Season 2 finale is going to be particularly troublesome to deal with.
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That's some good XP, though. Twilight needs the levels if she's going to survive all 9 seasons, plus the comics and movie.
It always struck me as a bit sad that Celestia had apparently ruled by herself for over a thousand years - that would be enough to drive anyone mad. This way allows for her to take off to fight monsters, run a war/enforce the peace/generally have some time off.
Having a mishmash of written and unwritten rules, commentary, custom and general vagueness is how most governments work, plus as you've mentioned it means you can invoke the rule-of-cool and not be beholden to a previous plot point.
Took a ghostly mace to the body for Twilight to realise she's ignoring reality when trying to work things out.
Some good character growth here.
Twilight finally learning why Harshwinny and Wind Rider worked the way that they do, and why they've made it to where they are, and that she is okay with doing the same thing.
Twilight seems to be drinking a fair bit of the poppy seed mixture - driving herself hard, or developing an addiction?
Finally, Twilight is trying to work out how Luna is doing her thing using modern day detection equipment - the very same sort of detection equipment that couldn't see the ghost that hit her with a spectral mace.
More character development, especially from Twilight
She's finally working out that she's had unrealistic expectations about herself and the world. She's maturing quickly.
Also, I have to smile at the pegasus airconditioning.
I enjoyed this as an extension of the first story - the worldbuilding, characters and plot flow organicially with a depth that I can really appreciate.
Definitely not getting this reference.
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The reference is actually immediately afterward. In the original episode, when Twilight gets tossed in a mud puddle, she inexplicably goes all the way to Pinkie's room above Sugar Cube Corner to shower.
Selling historical artifacts! That's state sponsored Robbery! It's Evil, and it's all of tremendous historical value, including a single Pottery shard! How could they!
Harshwhinny seems complelty reasonable. The other two not so much. Especially the murder Wind Rider
Wasn't Twilight talking about a paradim shift last story? I'm suprised Twilight believes more in the non-exitsence of sears then Celestia's perfection. This is clearly a paradim shift Twilight! I guess thats the issue, for Twilight paradim shifts must always be forward, never realearning something from the past. She believes in futrism more then Celestia, thats still really weird especially since this Twilight is a historian along with being a magic researcher.
I don't know, maybe she's refusing because unlike with Paper clip, there isn't so much proof that she has to accept it. We estentially get a "Several hours later" for the journal. While here its both the step by step accepting of a paradim shift, and unlike the Journal there are possible explanations. The Journal, hidden privatly where no one can read, clearly is Paper Clip's memory of the event. Paper Clip lying to himself is possible and writing an altered story for him and him alone is possible, its also crazy unlikely.
Compare that possibility to Luna remebering were these objects were but the haze of magic and the elements cause her to remeber them in strange ways. Is that more likely then Twilight is wrong and theres a paradim shift? No. Is it likely enough that Twilight can reasonably say "ahh an anomly" and not have the Paper Clip reaction. Yeah
Still seems weird why this was so hard for Twilight to accept but Paper Clip wasn't. I guess it boils down to the same thing, Paper Clip the answer was staring Twilight in the face, she just didn't want to hear it. Here Twilight doesn't know the answer and she can't accept that. Well now she can
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There's also the fact that, while Paper Clip might've challenged Twilight's image of Princess Celestia, he was still a mortal creature doing understandable things. Luna, here, seems to break the laws of physics itself, which I'd imagine is much tougher for Twilight to swallow.
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I guess but Luna didn't cause a question in the fundamentals of physics. She just brought the possibility seers exist back into reality. That's very diffeent.
I guess maybe seers have been so throughly debunked though that it is the same. Like if someone brought back the possiblity that sickness comes from the 4 humors. That would be very hard to swallow. From the discription seers were given in the story they didn't seem that depunked, but also Twilight was explaining it using laymens terms. So with that assumption that makes more sense now.
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What was?
I'm not a Trekkie.
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Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Captain Kirk and company end up in the late 1980's San Fransisco:
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Will it? You already brought up Chrysalis by name, a la Napoleon complex, so it sounded like you had other ideas in mind for the changelings.
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We have lots of ideas in mind for the changelings. Some of which involve Canterlot Wedding. Most don't.