Buck Ugly the Fugly Pony

by deathtap

Song

Buck Ugly
I feel ugly,
Oh so ugly,
I feel ugly and gritty all day,
And I pity,
Any pony who spots me today.

It's disarming,
So disarming,
It's alarming how disarming I feel,
And so ugly,
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the ugly colt in that mirror there?
Who can that hideous colt be?
Such a ugly face,
Such a ugly chest,
Such a ugly smile,
Such a ugly me!

It is stunning,
And so vexing,
Feel like running,
And hiding my head,
For I'm hated,
And every pony wants me dead.

Everypony else
Have you seen that ugly Buck?
The ugliest colt on the block?
You'll know him the minute you see him,
He's the one who puts you in an advanced state of shock,
He knows he's frightful,
He knows he's a pain,
He is so scary,
He'll drive you insane,
It must be from heat,
Or some rare disease,
Let's all retreat,
His lips like feces,
Keep away from him,
Send for the Guard!
This is not a pony we know,
Normal and pure,
Polite with hygiene,
Not stink like manure,
Or decaying gangrene!

Buck Ugly, Buck ugly, you ugly beast!
Take a shower, get surgery or leave us in peace!

Buck Ugly
I feel ugly,
Oh so ugly,
That the city should ban me from here,
A committee,
Should be organized to exile me.

I am dizzy,
I am grisly,
I am filthy and foul like a swine,
And so ugly,
Princess Celestia should resign.

See the ugly colt in that mirror there (What mirror, where?),
Who can that atrocious colt be? (Which, what, where, whom?)
Such an ugly face,
Such an ugly flank,
Such an ugly haunch,
Such a ugly me!

Buck Ugly & Everyone
It is stunning,
And so vexing,
Feel like running,
And hiding my head,
For I'm hated,
And every pony wants me dead.

Author's Note:

Inspired by my wife, who was singing 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty...' while I didn't feel pretty at all.