• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

PresentPerfect


Fanfiction masochist. :B She/they https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect

T
Source

It was a normal day in Equestria, until it wasn't.

Princess Twilight Sparkle is about to discover what happens when corporate focus groups dictate the direction of a franchise. The future is here, Boomer, and it is made of yeet.


Rated N for Noice Not Very Cash Money. Contains no G5 spoilers! Like, I didn't even get their names right! Cover art by LilPinkGhost!


"Have you ever wanted to read comedy that will make your soul crumble to dust in the BEST way possible? Do you want to witness a story on FimFiction actually use 'yeet' in it? Well, if you've been mercilessly crammed into the goat cages in my basement and are weeping for the sweet release of something more merciful than death, this is the story for you!" - Ice Star

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 81 )

Stories like this remind us all that they’re only Geneva Suggestions. Glad to lend a hand.

Look upon his works ye mighty and despair.

No, really, this was as the kids say these days (checks arm) "lit."

"Whaddup, P-cess T-light?"

Thanks, I hate her already. :derpytongue2:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

10700544
Begins nothing! This is story #12 in the Generation 5 group! :B

6/10, not enough card games.

I've actually been struck by similar inspiration. This was a delightful bit of further motivation to act on it. Mostly for the sake of contrast. :raritywink:

10700550
And even then, they're specific to uniformed military personnel fighting other uniformed military personnel. The US could do whatever it wanted to terrorists and the Geneva Conventions wouldn't care (which makes it a pleasant surprise that they don't).

This is a story I never knew I needed in my life. It's so political that it's funny. Friendship is poggers.

I… what… what the frack did I just read. I mean, funny, but… I need to discorporate my consciousness into the nearest unpolluted lake to sort my mind out after reading that. So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be manifesting myself somewhere in the mountains to the east. Don't come looking for me.

(Have a like for whatever the heck this was)

10700560
Well it's the first one I've seen. And really, that's what matters.

I not a fan of CGI but I'm willing to give it a try.Wish that they use the mlp movie design on the show.

I swear I'm too old to get half of this...

The other half offended me.

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:
As. It. Should.

:scootangel:

Georg #15 · Feb 28th, 2021 · · 1 ·

The children of this age are beyond hope. They play their music in the streets at all hours and race their chariots at dangerous speeds.
—Socrates.

10700630
There is nothing new under the sun, and that phrase was from before his time.

Tune in next time for the very special climate change episode, when T-light’s friendship palace goes underwater due to rising sea levels and she is never seen again, and everyone agrees she has become a sea pony so as to traumatize the target audience subtly instead of overtly.

Dammit, PP. my sides hurt.

...and this is why Celestia and Luna faked their deaths. They could no longer communicate with or understand the current generations and went to another reality to start it all over from scratch again.

Hmm funny Chatter 1 and exalant modern day jokes I give it 9 out 10

Eh, the new designs (aside from the guy Pony, who looks weird) aren't so bad. This artist was a major contributor, and I actually like their work.

The whole "racially segregated Equestria" thing, on the other hand... :raritydespair:

but he was a miserable pile of secrets.

“What is a man mare?”

"Nopony says that anymore, Pip Mediumstockings," Sunny grumbled.

Pippy Longstockings, holy crap, that takes me back.

Anyways, this seems accurate. I’d give it two thumbs up, but:
A: Ponies don’t have fingers or thumbs.
B: Nopony will get the reference anymore.

Posh #25 · Feb 28th, 2021 · · 2 ·

"She was trans, you fucking TERF!" she bellowed, tears streaming down from behind her awesome Kamina shades.

"Sunny, we're all trans," said The Boy, rolling his eyes. "Literally how do you keep forgetting that?"

Sunny grumbled to herself. "Maybe because it's a perfectly valid and normal thing to be and not worth getting upset over..."

I’m glad you remembered such an important and absolutely concrete detail about series canon. Ridiculous that people could keep forgetting this.

Hill.
Larry.
Us.
:ajbemused:

This is what Pony Life should have been.

Glad to see more people are starting to get it.

10700633 "95% of all quotes on the internet are made up."
-- Abraham Lincoln

Oh, God, please let them have hired an actual writer for the show, otherwise we'll get this, but worse somehow. At least the animation seems on point.

Friendship is Poggers, indeed.

:rainbowlaugh:

This brings to mind an encouraging thought: If the new show is bad, we can at least have a good time making fun of it.

10700762

Same here, I knew that the design where going to be CGI because that’s the course TV animation has taken and to be honest, with exception of the stallion, I likes all the designs...

Then I read then leak plot... man I already had problems with the last episode of the show but this... this... this reads like an edgy fanfic written by a 12 year old girl who says she’s a fan of the show but actually hates it because she’s an SWJ and Twitter keyword-warrior who wants everything to reflect the miserable vision she has of the world...

Hopefully what part of the plot that has been leaked is fake

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

10700940
Funny story, that line was originally "Friendship Is Yeet."

But that doesn't mean anything, so I made Yeetquestria and changed it to "Friendship Is Lit, Fam."

Then I floated "Friendship Is Poggers" to a friend of mine, who replied, "You should go with that because it makes me significantly angrier." And here we are. :)

10700638 A small piece of it.

10700630 These will all off themselves once they realize NO ONE is every going pay the bills for their $200K basketweaving degrees, and that the $15/hr is now only worth $1 thanks to hyperinflation.

Reality doesn't give a rat's ass about what you wish to be true.

Gravity will still drag your ass to the ground if you step off a cliff. I challenge SJWs to prove me wrong on that particular aspect.

"Ugh," ughed the Princess of the Realm to no one in particular.

To quote Sir Philip Sidney, “'Tis like 'Hamlet' ... what a genius!”

10700571
This is my first time reading anything like that. I am honestly impressed.
This singular comment has earned you my follow.

10700630
"Confound thee, children! Remove thineselves from my lawn, posthaste!"

--Socrates

This started as making fun of generation 5 and very quickly turned into making fun of anybody under 30 years old.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

10702402
Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact! :)

Why are you like this, PP?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

10703647
This story is a combination of everything I have been feeling for the past three months or so, extruded through a G5-shaped nozzle.

And it isn't even everything! There could have been more! :B Sometimes, you just gotta.

10704053
If only I could be so grossly incandescent constructive with my internal issues.

I think I just lost a few IQ points XD

I just found this analysis by Dr. Wolf:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

10707563
I really miss the time when he did things other than analysis. :/

Oh gosh
This makes me ashamed to be a Gen Z
HELP ME

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

10714672
No worries, it's the Boomers who fucked everything up. :B

10700767
I get the feeling I get the reference but the tsunami waves in my mind refuse to allow me to reach the inner recesses.

Took me a hot second, but nice cover bro :rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment