• Member Since 16th Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Jaycren


I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some from ahead and some from behind.But I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles will have troubles with me. - Dr. Seus

Comments ( 44 )

Keep the story going

I like the story so far

I like this idea of your story here.

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Working on the next chapter. It is going to be a long one. Should be out this weekend... I hope.

Is it just me? Or are you a Fan of the Tyranids from WH40K?

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just you, I never played 40k. Never had the money or the time. But, I do understand the reference and I do like the same basic tatics.

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Well, considering the fact that the Tyranids are infamous Alien/Xeno Insect Hive Race. And they deal with Biomass, Genetics, Rapid Evolutions, and Reproduction.

And since your Alicorn Male Character use a LOT of Biomancy Powers, with a little Necromancy. He quickly change the Changelings into something else!!!??? :twilightoops:


So I thought you took inspiration of the Tyranids, with a little bit Chaos because of the Necromancy part.


At least, Prince/King Malem isn't a Glutton over everyone/everypony for the Biomass like the Tyranids. :twilightoops: :applejackconfused: :pinkiesick:

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Next chapter I will post the stats from that Alicorn Cyoa. His aspects are Necromancy and Biomancy, with sidelines in shadow, darkness, and blood. I really just took logical steps from their. But you are right, he's not craving spare dna. He is just going to be weaponizing what he has. There is a darkness on the horizon and he wants to preserve some of the light. Strange enough, he's the good guy. The evil things are ever so much worse.

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So he is a Anti-Villain? Plus, what do the Real Evil Threats even do that make it worse than what Prince/King Malem did to change the Changelings with his Biomancy/Necromancy?

Despite Malem being a "Good Guy"?

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Well, how does the caribou led by Grogar sound? The real Grogar. The changelings led by Thorax still exist. Only the ones still loyal to Chrysalis were changed. And he prevented them going extinct under her leadership. He does love chrysalis and does see his changelings as celestia sees her ponies. Any that are under his care will be treated well. As long as they are not a danger to others. His arrival started the rise of his enemies, the narrative is completely screwed. Within 5yrs, possibly before, the invasion will start. He needs to prevent the fall.

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Damn! :pinkiegasp:

King Dainn of the Caribou and Grogar together??!! Didn't see that coming!

And the deadline is Five Years or less?

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According to the CYOA I used. Which I want to stick to as closely as I can. 5 years to save everything. He will fail because you can't save everyone or everything. But not for lack of trying.

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He probably not "fail" this mission. Because, he is a Alicorn with Strong Magic Powers. Along with Upgrading the Changelings themselves. Heck, he Got rid of Sombra, The Dark Spirit of Nightmare Moon/Nightmare Rarity, and the Shadow Pony already by his Daughter!!!

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Oh yes, he's excessively powerful. But not even superman can save everyone. And Grogar is a discord level threat. With an army full of veterans. Led by one of the most powerful of their kind. Their greenest recruits better then the most experienced equestrian regular. Besides, Malem's not a battlefield tactition. Nor is he a warrior. Hell, he's barely a leader. Chrysalis, Eclipse, and the other 9 lesser queens take care of that. Its why he's automated so much. The only 2 real strength he has is being a manipulative jerk that has a very generalistic selection of skills and the fact that he knows it.

Even his Biomancy takes time to set up. Those changes were quick only because changelings are innately easy to mold. Even then he had to set tem up when he first encountered them, then trigger them when he got them into position. His Necromancy is a little quicker but mostly in the same boat. And Shadow, Darkness, and Blood are better for stealth and subtlety then direct combat.

Trust me, when shit hits the fan, their will be a lot of death.

Man I'm confused of The Story So Far

Now we're talking!:rainbowdetermined2:

"We see why thou dost like this one, Discord," Liquid velvet whispered in my ear, "You both have such a way with words."

Who?

I am going to be a permanent resident of Tartarus myself when this is all over. Discord won't notice what I'm doing as I am not doing anything to directly influence Fluttershy. I will relish being sent to Hell because it means everyone is alive and has enough free will to condemn me.

WHAT???!!! Oh, F*** THAT BULLSHIT!!!!! :flutterrage: :twilightangry2: :facehoof:

Pinkie sobbed, "All I can say is that there is a possibility we all get out of this. There is a possibility that my Lil Cheese will exist. Get out of here. Or I will try to stop you. You're the only being I've ever met that I don't want to befriend."

What?! Why the F*** would she do that??!! He is a actually/trying to save you Ungrateful Dumbasses from the Caribou and Grogar??!! Pinkie is making NO DAMN Sense. He is your "Dark" Hero to save Equestria from the War/Invasion!!!

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that woild be luna.

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consent is a thing. It bothers him.

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If that is Luna? Then WHY do you call her "Liquid Velvet"?


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So? Why is "that" important than preparing a FRICKIN Invasion/War against the Real Threats to Pony Kind? Especially Mares??!! Besides, Celestia and Luna did COME TO HIM, and probably give their "Consent" already. Besides, he also help the Main Six get their Own Chosen Lovers One Day. Discord X Fluttershy, and Spike X Rarity is starting to happened.

And I know he use his "hormones" to affect them. BUT, I don't see Celestia or Luna complaining now would we?


Pinkie Pie is Just OVERREACTING! πŸ™„

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I was comparing Luna's voice to liquid velvet. I am updating this as quickly as I can until complete. Some mistakes are just going to get through.

Also, Malem has better options. He is preparing to fight against an enemy that removes consent. Here he is using similar methods. And most of his reasoning for his actions are weak at best and bullshit at worst. Pinkie and him both understand that. But Pinkie is in the position were she knows two of her friends are at influenced consent, if not outright impaired consent, and she steps aside. She lets two of her friends be raped after a party she threw, then ditched as he leaves before they rise. All so the rest of them aren't raped. She barely knows Malem and only has her Pinkie sense to tell her that things might be okay. Her reactions are valid. After all, she might have just saved them all from one tyrant, only to condemn them to the rule of another.

Seems you've misunderstood The Displaced. It has its own lore if you look around a bit.

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If I misplaced my story then remove it from your group. I know the lore. In fact I wrote one. I thought this might qualify as well. If it doesn't I apologize for the inconvenience. He is a human turned 4 armed, 4 winged, twin horned Alicorn, sent by an artifact to Equestria. But you're correct in that this doesn't fit into the greater lore. Especially since I used a CYOA for the initial inspiration. In fact that CYOA could be considered the actual first chapter.

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i'm just a member, not the admins. I get notifications whenever someone posts story in any of the folders. To make a Displaced, you'll need to Displace a normal into another character or OC, inexperienced and still acting human, no perfection nor getting used to things easily, next after some character growth, story progression, and world building, an if you and your readers are fine with it, you can meet other Displaced who have suffered the same fate, either they were forced, or given the choice by the merchant, a powerful being, an unknown item, location, etc via then use called a Token that allows you to cross the Void so you can meet other Displaced if they use your token to summon you. You can also summon other Displaced, either your own ICs or other people's IC. Think careful if you do a cross-over, as the wrong character at the wrong time and used the wrong way, can ruin your story.

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I will be writing this as I see fit. At no point will anyone be entering other then the protagonist. What you described is the construction of a good story. It is not just limited to displaced.

Great work love it keep it up

Great chapter. And not to ask a annoying question. But can you add that Twilight has a colt? If it happens that is. It's just, I've been reading fanfics for a long time, and most of them end up with Twilight having a filly.

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I am leaving the sex of the foals to a coin toss. Certain other things I will be deciding tbe same way. If it comes up colt, then yes. If it comes up Filly, then no.

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Sorry it took so long. But, I'm finally gonna answer your comment of yours after 3 Weeks.

I think it's still a little BS with this part:

After all, she might have just saved them all from one tyrant, only to condemn them to the rule of another.

HOW the Hell can Malem be "worse" than FRICKIN King Dainn and Grogar??!! He is a "Anti-Villain" or a "Anti-Hero" if you take in another perspective.

Plus, that WASN'T "rape" with the Princesses! Yes, I get that they were manipulated by Malem's sexual hormones. But they ENJOYED it, and DIDN'T complain it afterwards! And trust me, that wasn't the definition of "Rape", dude. And I have seen some "Fall Of Equestria" Stories. And I would rather have Celestia/Luna be with Malem, than that disgusting King Dainn and his Sexist Calibou Empire.


Sure, it might seem a " Lesser of the Two 'Evils'". But, Malem is WILLING to save Equestria by getting his hands dirty. And their is nothing wrong with that? And he SHOULDN'T be "punished" for it! I mean, imprisonment to Tartarus or Banishment/Exile? That's F******* BS!!!!! He literally just save them for terrible enslavement from both King Dainn and Grogar.


Like I said, Pinkie Pie is just O-VER-RE-ACT-ING!!!!!!!!!! Besides, she should THANK Malem for hooking her up with Cheese Sandwich. Along with having her Friends getting their Love Mates. That counts for something? Right?!

P.S. This still doesn't make sense to me to this day?

I was comparing Luna's voice to liquid velvet. I am updating this as quickly as I can until complete. Some mistakes are just going to get through.

Either you talk about a Rock Band, or a Lip Stick Brand ( Yes, I look it up on Google)? So, how can Luna's "voice" be compared to the both of them?

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Her voice sounded like liquid velvet or a voice sounding like liquid velvet would have been a better wording. I simile'd when I should've metaphor'd. I will not go any farther with anything else as it refers to things I am foreshadowing. If you don't like how the story is being written, don't read it. How I write my tales is not up for discussion.

I hope you have a good night. And if you think you can do better, write your own. I linked the Cyoa in more than one part of the story. Create your own king and then send me the link. I will happily read it.

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My intention is not to insult your writing or stories. It's just I'm irritated that the Protagonist ( Malem) might be "punished" for saving the world from the real threats and the brutal war.

Sure, he acts like a Anti-Hero or more specifically a Anti-Villain. And he has some manipulating schemes. But, IF getting your hands dirty to save the world is the only option! He should be praised, rather than "hatred". I mean, does the Ponies REALLY want to face King Dainn, the Sexist Calibou, or even Grogar of all Villains on their own? I don't think so! Plus, the Ponies are too soft, "self-righteous", or NEVER "experts" in war.


That is your Characters ( Malem) job to "try" to save everyone/everypony. ( You did say that a lot of Ponies will die. Despite Malem's being overprepared, but STILL couldn't save everypony?!)

Although, I'm surprised your "criticized" your Characters morally questionable actions in the beginning? Even though you did make him to be like that in the first place?!


As for writing a story or the Cyoa challenge? I still didn't make a story yet. I have ideas, but I still don't make it into a good story to publish yet.

Plus, I don't have it in me to follow all the Cyoa's rules 100%. Because One, I like Harems. Two, I like to try to get most of the powers or the consequences to make the enemies much harder to face. But, I found a way around it. Like what if I make multiple Alicorns as a "Team".

Like make them as Brothers. A concept of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse or the Seven Deadly Sins from Darksiders or something.

Three, my other idea is to make it into WH40K inspired. Because, I do like the Emperor of Mankind. And his sons: the Primarchs. But, I'm not a total expert to WH40K fully. Plus, I don't know how to put in a very OP Alicorn with over 18 Sons of his. ( Luckily, NONE of them won't go traitor this time. I'm looking at you, Horus and Lorgar!!!!!!)

Ok, when are the caribou coming? Cause if you ask me, your getting a few dislikes left and right.:twilightoops:

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also dont care about the dislikes. It will be when it is.

All Hail The House Of Ren!βœ‹πŸ¦…

This is a story I've been waiting for lol plz keep it going

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its still ongoing. I am currently trying to organize my fanfics and original works into less websites. Updating and keeping track of all of it is becoming difficult to impossible. Working 7 days a week plus being an adult kinda stinks. I may be transferring all my fanfics over to AO3, I haven't decided yet.

I only have two questions to ask ?1 how are grogar and discord related into how many kids does grogar have???πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”

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Grogar's the FATHER of Monsters. Discord included. As for his progeny? Only he knows. Better question, who is Discord's MOTHER?
When I move this over to AO3, it will be continued over there. I have stopped writing to this site.

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