- Member Since 8th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen January 17th
The Storyteller world
What is life but a story with an infinite possible endings. Care to see where yours goes?
The Storyteller world
Joined 8th Jun, 2012 ·
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Art source?
10621312
Just something I found searching monster mlp characters
10621312
Artist is Freedomthai
https://derpibooru.org/images/1188615?q=artist%3Afreedomthai
10621325
Aww sick thanks friend!
10621330
You're welcome. It took a moment to remember I had favorited the image
I can't judge this yet because the fiction isn't finished yet. So, far I like it.
Looks like an interesting opening, and those girls and everybody are going to be doing some heavy apologizing. Hope Spike can truly forgive them for their blind accusations and attempted murder
10621358
Oh next chapter really goes into it.
10621336
Glad you like it so far, honestly didn't expect it to go all the way to 6k for first chapter.
10621358
Oh HECK NO!!! Sorry Wildcard25! But ATTEMPTING MURDER IS NOT FORGIVING!!!!! And Fluttershy got hurt for doing the right and reasonable thing to save Spike in the Process!!!!!
Spike's Grandfather SHOULD be PISSED OFF that they nearly killed his Poor Grandkid!!!! I bet Leandro's wished he HAVEN'T have saved them and their town in the first place if he learn about this!!!!! If they were so cruel and even Evil to Poor Spike like that.
I hope Spike will make a Raging Rant against them, and maybe say something that like: "It was 'probably', NO! Definitely a HUGE Mistake to take his Grandfather's Offer to own this mess up place". 😡
Well, let's see where does this story goes, tracking.
I want more and I want to know what happens next I'm very interested
wow. talk about crazy.
awesome chapter mate keep it up
Maybe you shouldn't have Spike forgive the townsfolk so easily and quickly. Have him give them the cold shoulder for three or four chapters before he slowly starts to warm up to them.
Maybe have him threatening to expose the townsfolk what they really are to the whole world if they ever pull something like this on him or another human again?
10621558
Heck Yeah!!!!!! This is what I was saying as well. I even made a Long Raging and "Why You Suck" Speech by Spike against the Horrible Monster Main Six ( Except Fluttershy and probably Pinkie Pie at least) and the Brutal Town Folk of Despicable Monsters.
10621684
easy now haha. It's just the first chapter in this story and trust me they will be working to fix their screw up lol.
10621700
Me:
( Being Doubtful IF the Monster Main Six and the Town Folk will "Fix" this with a Rightfully PISSED OFF Spike!!! )
Anyway I finally finished editing this. So, did you also see my Own Version of Spike's LONG Raging Rant Speech. And Threatening the Monster Main Six and the Town Folk as well with the Police and Government? And my other Comments as well?⤵
10621388
10621614
10621621
10621684
Even he/she agrees.
10621558
But, I prefer Five to maybe even Six Chapters so this isn't rushing.
10621724
It'll be handled and yes I saw lol
10621471
same and i have even readed it!
10621825
Question: I think you might warn people that there will be Violence, Gore, Dark, and even a 'Near' Death Tag as well? But only in the First Chapter. Since you want to make a Sex/Porn/Hentai Romance Story. But the First Chapter NEARLY Ruined it for me.
Because, seeing the Screwed Up First Chapter makes me crying over Spike having a F***** Up Day and near Death. ( YES! You bought me to tears reading this. And make me Very Mad against the Monster Girls and Town Folk. 😢 😭 😡 😠)
And makes me SO Pissed Off that I want to order Van Helsing, other Monster Hunters, Police/SWAT, FBI/CIA/Government, and even the Men In Black on the Cruelty Evil MLP Monsters on their Assess!!!! And avenging Spike!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡 😡 😡
I call idiot stick use, if Twi actually read the transfer papers, they should have the Leandros' name as well as Spike's because it's a legal document!
10621964
Good Point! WHY didn't they notice that from before??!!
A+ you did yourself
10621970
rage of there " nest being invade by an outsider.. applejack say this in the bar....
i think this is like the 3rd or 4th attempt to ponyfied this anime, lets see it this one will survive
Good start, I want more. Look forward to future chapters.
They are so screwed.
I'm definitely keeping my eye on this one!
Intriguing story so far. Cant wait to see what comes of it.
In the small description
from his
with even
10622698
thanks for the spot, made the changes
As you went all this length to keep using the neutral pronoun this should be a "themself", but I've to say that it is QUITE obnoxious. I would suggest just to change ALL the other occurrence to standard he/his/him, especially since it is a given that this is Spike Drake.
I was expecting something more scooby doo.
Instead, I got the inverted version of "Kill the beast"
Holy f*ck. How do you get down after things escalated so high?
A whole town trying to kill you is not something easily forgiven or forgotten. A regular person would get the hell out of dodge at the first possible chance.
Spike stood in front of the murderous town, ignoring the supernatural mutations, and claimed his territory without a care. Maybe his surname is not the only draconian thing that runs in the family. He is not running away, but I don't see him in a forgiving mood any time soon.
10622544
Yep, their so F****** DEAD!!!!!!
And Spike could threaten the Monsters with the Police/Cops, SWAT, and even the FBI, CIA, and the rest of the Government to expose their asses!
10622080
I'm guessing they were all Xenophobic/Racist/Prejudice/Specist/Misanthrope against Regular Humans like Spike for example. 🙄 😤
There just Hypocrite idiots! Because, that's what "Bad" Humans would do as well against "Monsters" with the Angry Mob Mindset. But this is reversed!!! Because the 'Angry Mob' are the Monsters themselves. While Human Spike is the Poor Victim.
10622763
I know right! He should at least threaten the Monsters to leave himself, and never come back to their Despicable Town. Let them know that they FAILED his Grandfather ( Their previous "Master") and their Family itself. And would also threaten to expose them to the Police, SWAT, News Team, FBI/CIA, and the rest of the Government themselves to take them to Area 51 with Nasty Experiments, Torture, and Dissected them to protect Humanity from the Monster 'Threats, and Menaces.'
If there is one thing above all else I can say... please put thoughts in italics... it makes the story more comprehensive and makes it easier to determine what is though and what is speech. Having them be all the same makes it confusing.
Question? Which setting is this story? By that I mean which Country/State are they at? Because I thought they will be in the United States Of America ( U.S.A). Because I was still talking about a very pissed off Spike calling the FBI, CIA, Seal Team, U.S. Government, and Area 51 Secret Agents to take the horrible Monster Town Folk to a Secret Government Prison for Monsters/Aliens.
And then Experiment, Torture, and Dissent them all to what's making them 'tick'. And find Weaknesses to protect Humanity.
And sure, that might be cruel for Spike to do that. BUT, why should he defend Monsters that he have just meet?? And then tried to act Hostile, then ALMOST MAIM and KILL him??!!! A Realistic Sane Person will especially WON'T defend them in Real Life over that life-threatening assault on themselves.
Didn't he say that his grandfather gave him the manor? Why didn't anyone make the connection that he was the masters grandchild?
10622788
indeed.... but would it been a good idea to be armed ( gun / melee ) too???
than
than
than
but
than
A
like that, well, too
town's
me to,
Ok this I don't understand at all...
a
Hm ok... This is quite WTF worth.
First of all... The document that Spike have would OBVIOUSLY state that he is the frigging heir.
Second... if they REALLY REALLY REALLY want to stay low profile and keep people away... Why the hell don't they offer to BUY THE FUC*ING PLACE.
Twilight seems to be quite the lawyer here. That would be the REASONABLE thing to do.
Additionally Spike look the SPITTING IMAGE of his grandfather and HAS GREEN HAIR you could try and guess... that maybe... he is related.
It looks like a somewhat interesting premise but it is QUITE illogical in the execution.
Following to see where it goes.
10622869
YES!!! Considering the Monsters got Offensive and Fighting Magic that is Highly Dangerous. And have Farm Weapons from the Angry Mob portion. As well with them having Super Strength, Speed, Agility, Flight, etc. from their Monster Parts.
And Twilight even makes a Frickin Fireball like a Demon Imp and a Baron Of Hell from the Doom Games. While Spike is a Normal Guy with nothing???!!!
Having Spike get a Arsenal Full of GUNS, NORMAL AMMO/BULLETS, and even have ARMOR PIERCING and EXPLOSIVE/INCENDIARY BULLET ROUNDS for 'Self Defense Purposes' makes it Fair!!!
10622953
Holy crap, dude. You need to calm the hell down. This is not your story, and you're making the comment section pretty close to unreadable. If you don't like the story, you're free to move on, but it looks like you've written as much in the comments as the author has in their first chapter. Give them some space to work, okay? Nobody gets better by being screamed at for half an hour.
This was certainly a miscommunication scenario, but i can actually see why on the legal documents that the girls didnt beleve him, the place seemed to have alot of value to the town both resource and sentimental wise. This could have all been cleared up if spike showed the letter from his gramps to AJ in the first place, or it would have went the same way.
All the same i hope to see more