Read it! You know what would be an awesome twist at some later point? What if Celestia gets struck by karma, and Rainbow Dash winds up embarrassing Celestia shitless.
It's pretty obvious going by the name of story that the possibility I'm about to give will most definitely not be the case. But what if it turns out that Rainbow Dash's deepest desire was to have some 'fun time' with royalty?
>>> After letting Rainbow flap her lips impotently for a bit, I resumed talking. “My sister wished to have you locked in stocks at the center of the Canterlot Arena and raped by the entirety of both our stallion guards,” I stated with all the softness of someone describing a recipe for cinnamon tea. “But ultimately,” I continued, “the terms of your punishment are up to me.” <<<
1264638 Well I did take out the "complainant" bit on your suggestion, but I do have to argue that stocks aren't exactly a common form of punishment nowadays, and I imagine quite a few people would have no idea what they are. I could have said Luna wanted her tied to a stake, but that's not as good a rape position as the stocks.
.....and little did they know Rainbow Dash's greatest desire was to set the whole world on fire, starting with Blueblood. Cue singing "Do you believe in magic? In a young girls heart..." playing on a loop with Dashie spreading "rainbows" on everything flamable.
The rapid amount of "the fuck is wrong with you" in this chapter had me laughing way too much. I hope it continues in the rest of the story.
“Thank you, Captain,” I said with the utmost respect and serenity as he brings Rainbow Dash to the base of the stairs before my throne. I nod at him slightly and he bows, closing the large, iron door behind him as he exits. I am now alone with the rainbow-maned offender.
Generally, it is considered bad form to switch from past tense to present tense in the middle of a story or vice versa. Just letting you know. Politely.
I waited at my throne for what seemed an eternity, my haunches atop the finest cloud pillow bits could buy as I once more read the parchment levitating before me. It was a rather garden-variety list of complaints against various ponies, none of them particularly worth my time. It was one of the things that I hated about monarchic rule, having ponies come at me with the most mundane of problems.
Hello again, I'm your friendly neighborhood Good Grammar Directory prereader. Once again I have to reject a story of yours because you are using commas instead of semicolons.
Woah... I'll read this later for the title!
Liking it so far!
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This looks like a pretty funny set up.
I'll be watching youuuuuuuu....
Aww, I would have liked to see that arena idea...
Maybe when all is said and done you could write it as an alternate ending?
Uh, well alternate "beginning", I suppose. Uhm, I mean, an alternate start that would have also ended it there.
Raped by both stallion guards.
Hwut?
Read it!
You know what would be an awesome twist at some later point?
What if Celestia gets struck by karma, and Rainbow Dash
winds up embarrassing Celestia shitless.
It's pretty obvious going by the name of story that the possibility I'm about to give
will most definitely not be the case. But what if it turns out that Rainbow Dash's
deepest desire was to have some 'fun time' with royalty?
Interesting
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5159-rbd-waitingforoptodeliver.gif
>>> After letting Rainbow flap her lips impotently for a bit, I resumed talking. “My sister wished to have you locked in stocks at the center of the Canterlot Arena and raped by the entirety of both our stallion guards,” I stated with all the softness of someone describing a recipe for cinnamon tea. “But ultimately,” I continued, “the terms of your punishment are up to me.” <<<
Celestia is the Prophet of Truth?
Oooh, Dashie you're in for it now!
1205939 Haha, someone caught the reference! Awesome!
1206283
1206283 I caught it but, you know, I doesn't matter...
Oh, well that seems like a resonable enough punish--
Jesus Christ! What the hell, Luna?!
1264638 Well I did take out the "complainant" bit on your suggestion, but I do have to argue that stocks aren't exactly a common form of punishment nowadays, and I imagine quite a few people would have no idea what they are. I could have said Luna wanted her tied to a stake, but that's not as good a rape position as the stocks.
Rape by the entirety of the Guard? After a hundred, I don't there would have been anything left to rape.
....Giggidy.
1271280 Another good fic Yuko. Trollestia AND Trolluna, hm. Also, do i sense you added a bit of Molestia and Moluna in by chance?
Celly seems a bit... sadistic here...
.....and little did they know Rainbow Dash's greatest desire was to set the whole world on fire, starting with Blueblood. Cue singing "Do you believe in magic? In a young girls heart..." playing on a loop with Dashie spreading "rainbows" on everything flamable.
The rapid amount of "the fuck is wrong with you" in this chapter had me laughing way too much. I hope it continues in the rest of the story.
WOW! Luna's a fucking bitch.
Generally, it is considered bad form to switch from past tense to present tense in the middle of a story or vice versa. Just letting you know. Politely.
AND THATS HOW RAINBOW DASH BECAME THE ARBITER
Hello again, I'm your friendly neighborhood Good Grammar Directory prereader. Once again I have to reject a story of yours because you are using commas instead of semicolons.
As before, you are free to edit and resubmit.
8209532
???
None of those require a semicolon; at best, the third would do better with an em-dash or colon.