Horror of the Flesh

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Comments ( 7 )

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Mckinny0

Mckinny0 #1 · Dec 31st, 2020 · 1 · · Sins of the Flesh ·

Im probably odd for saying this however im genuinely interested in this so i think ill stand by for a while.

Funkyfresh

Funkyfresh #2 · Dec 31st, 2020 · · · Sins of the Flesh ·

10606937
I'm glad you're interested my friend, I hope I can keep that interest and appreciate any feedback.

Mckinny0

Mckinny0 #3 · Jan 1st, 2021 · · · Sins of the Blood ·

I like your mirror pool idea that anything that crosses the barrier becomes what they believe themselves to be or there goal to be, just like pinks and her goal and personal image being the one who makes beings happy and has fun.

BanditRingtail

BanditRingtail #4 · Jan 2nd, 2021 · 2 · · Sins of the Flesh ·

I was the first to break our stare as I focused on getting the job done and receiving my pay for the day as slowly a small smile returned to my lips for even though I had already worked off any debt I had to the Apples I greatly enjoyed both working for them and their general company aside from my red rival. I loved helping Granny Smith make their goods and she had even said that if I wasn't so different she'd have expected somepony to snatch up such a good house-stallion like me which had brought me a great deal of laughter that day and even a small chuckle when I'd think back on it from time to time. Applebloom had even become almost like my own little sister in my opinion as I'd help keep an eye on her and her friends during some of my time off as a favor to them. Last but not least was Applejack herself for she was... a dear friend at the very least.

Ugh, so many run on sentences! Do yourself a favor and read your prose out loud before you post it. Every time you take a breath, slap a period down! They're way too long as is. I can't read a story like this. Clean it up and maybe I'll come back. It's not ready.

Funkyfresh