This story is a sequel to Thicker Than Water
Fluttershy has not had an easy life. After enduring years of abuse, the loss of her daughter, and a tumultuous love life, she's ready to draw her line in the sand. She'll make her coda to cap off everything she's ready to leave behind, then she'll start over.
But no matter what she does, it seems that the past never truly goes away.
A story set in the Who We Become series.
If you want to read this story but haven't read the preceding ones, you can get a summary in a blog post here.
Content warning: The non-con tag is for frank discussions about sexual assault. The action is not depicted, but it is talked about, with a heavy emphasis on the after-effects. The sex tag is for frank discussions on consensual sex and safer sex practices.
This story was workshopped closely with my writing partner, Gowak.
Thanks go out to Gowak, Moonlight, Krixwell, and Sapphire for proofreading.
Cover art by Pasu-Chan.
SEQUEL TO MY FAVORITE STORY
10667430
Heck yeah
10667440
May this story kick some ass
if anyone wants to hate on human shy after this, i will personally fight them. cant wait to read the rest, i somehow know its good ;)
10667447
Hmm gee I wonder how you'd know that...
Great start as Always! Shy therapy only works if you want it to!
Thanks for the chapter!
i'm not sure if the shaking i'm doing is good, bad, or what. but whatever it may be, i'm certainly looking forward to the first WWB fic i'll be here to see coming out from chapter one!
Amazing start to another awesome story. I'm kinda with Fluttershy, I get the feeling that pinkie has a crush on her even if pinkie is with caramel
oh ok, this is prior to Open Road then?
Already can tell this is going to be interesting. Shy continues to be an extremely relatable character for me. Doubts of the future, grappling with regret, the thoughts on therapy built from a need to be seen as functional and capable by those around you? Can definitely connect.
I also think this chapter does a good job of setting up multiple conflicts at once for Shy to explore and grapple with (thoughts of Sunset, fear of the future, adulthood, distancing of her support network, etc), as well as some good examples of how to be a supportive friend by way of Dash educating herself.
Strong chapter. I’m ready for this journey
10667447
Best put up your dukes then matey, through the entire series she has been nothing short of a toxic user and the bane of sunsets existence. I'm so glad she traded in for the much better model :p
(kidding about the dukes bit, but this story will have to have monumental character changes to change my mind about human shy in the who we become series)
10667518
I understand what you're saying, but I'm going to respectfully disagree. Yes, that entire relationship was toxic, but it wasn't just Fluttershy's fault. They were both really bad for each other, and they both made some big mistakes. While Fluttershy's seem to be bigger, I wouldn't say she's the sole bad guy. In my opinion, they both deserved better than each other, and while I'm not saying Fluttershy is exactly a perfect person, I just don't understand why people hate her. I personally relate to her in some aspects, and maybe I'm just a horrible person, but I feel that she deserves better, and I think this story will prove that Shy is trying to be better. She just needs to get to a better place in her life because let's face it, her life sucked and a lot of bad things happened to her.
Personally, human Shy is one of the best characters in WWB in my opinion :P
10667471
Lol yeah, she's got an extremely poor view on therapy and (by extension) recovery at this point. Time will tell if it changes
10667476
Shaking is an interesting reaction, and one I can say I've never heard my stories to cause... Try not to get too overworked, but I do hope you'll enjoy what's to come!
10667484
Maybe do, but then again you think everyone has a crush on everyone else
10667498
This specific chapter happens before The Open Road, but other chapters will happen after it. We'll touch in on Shy's side of things for that event, because people needed to see that from her perspective I felt. By the end of the story, it'll be happening at the same time as Acts of Love. I don't remember where you left off in the series, but for sure don't read further unless you've read The Open Road. If you've gotten at least that far, then this whole story is pretty safe to read except that it'll spoil one major thing from Acts of Love (but that thing is also extremely obvious if you've read even chapter one, or really, read the description of that story; it's the basic premise of the fic).
Anyway, with the timeline stuff out of the way, your review is the kinda one that makes me hope I can live up to it haha. I'm very proud of Coda though, and I think you'll continue to enjoy it!
As someone who's been there, done that, I definitely understand Fluttershy's mistrust of psychiatric medicine.
10667518
I have to agree with 10667534 on this one. I think you're ignoring the ways Sunset has been toxic to her. Like trying to control her life and force her into the career path she wanted without asking if that was something Fluttershy still wanted. Regularly antagonizing Rainbow Dash after she had promised to get along with her. Making a single attempt to get back in touch by inviting her to Equestria at a time when things were still raw and painful between them, which meant inviting her to see Sunset's new life with her new girlfriends, one of whom looks exactly like Shy in pony form. Showing up when she knew she Shy didn't want to see her without warning because she never did give Fluttershy agency over her own decisions. That was Sunset's biggest fault and it came up all the time. Sunset did not give Fluttershy agency over her own decisions, always pushing her own way into Shy's life. And for someone who came out of a deeply traumatic abusive situation, there's nothing worse than someone forcing their will onto you.
Likewise, you ignore the why of Fluttershy being the way she is. Because yeah, she absolutely makes mistakes. But fuck, she's eighteen at the start of Playing House, nineteen for the majority of it. Nineteen, and she has all this stuff going on. She's practically still a child. And she's not just nineteen, she's nineteen with the majority of her teenage years stolen by abuse and sexual trauma. She never got to grow up and make mistakes because mistakes meant she got raped again. So she has a black and white world view for a while that she (as of Thicker Than Water) starts trying to get past, and that's her biggest flaw. She thinks Sunset isn't supporting this decision, so Sunset doesn't support her. She gets into fights because she never once learned how to be a couple. She's never had any other relationship, and her parents were not good role models. This is all she knows. And while that leads to some bad decisions and causes her to hurt Sunset and others, I think blaming her for that is incredibly shitty, especially because she's been shown to try and get better as she's aged.
Frankly, the hate Fluttershy gets from my readers (I'm quoting someone directly here: "Human shy can go get herpes from a groupie and drink herself into the ground for all I care about her now.") has made me consider no longer posting my stories. You want to talk about toxicity, the attitude people have towards an emotionally broken woman who's trying to piece her life together is pretty fucking toxic.
This is going to be my only comment on the anti-Fluttershy attitude that's extremely strong in my reader base.
10667755
When I first started therapy I had a deep fear of crisis units, so I get where she's coming from as well. Of course, the other side is it doesn't help if she's not upfront about her problems...
10667758
I mean I was institutionalized twice, and was tasered the first time. It was years before I would even speak to a therapist again.
After the darkness comes the "dawn".
Or "Morning Glisten"in this case perhaps she will be able to mend this divide.
At least that is something I theorize with the generational shift in protagonists that was foretold.
10667854
That's an apt description of this story, honestly. As for the other thing, time will tell...
10667756
People actually hate Human Fluttershy? She’s been my favorite character so far and Thicker than Water is what got me reading the series. I know you aren’t saying anything else about the anti-Fluttershy movement, so I’ll just thank you for posting the first chapter of Coda. I’ve been looking forward to reading this story for a long time.
10667894
Thank you, because of the Flutterhate it always means the world to me to hear people like her, especially when she's favorite character material. I may not be addressing the hate further, but to address your positivity, comments like this one remind me why I'm still writing this series and publishing it despite the haters (which are usually not directed at me specifically, but at the characters). Anyway, I hope you like what's coming, but as a fan of Shy, I think it's safe to say you will!
Ooh, I've missed you, Shy! Hope you'll keep taking better care of yourself now, even though it's hard!
And I couldn't help but tut and shake my head a bit at her attitude to the therapy. It's a shame to see, but not entirely unexpected^^
I've always liked therapy scenes, and often find them easy to relate to. This one sat well with me, it felt real, in all it's double-dialogue with Shy's inner and outer voice sort of conflicting each other.
...this is a bit sad seeing Fluttershy chafe at therapy. Everything from her POV makes sense, but her bandmates really want the best for her. And...oof, if this is before The Open Road...that's probably going to change how Shy feels about Sunset. That...that whole idea was a mistake. There really wasn't a reason why Sunset couldn't have just asked first.
Honestly I don't even know what would help Shy at this point. She's...relatively healthy when working, but doesn't feel like she has a real place to belong outside of it. Not everyone needs a partner, but she's never really bounced back from Sunset. Rainbow's doing the best she can, and I think she's been a great friend. Just...Fluttershy deserves to be happy.
10668064
Yeah, Shy's attitude towards therapy is pretty bad here. Glad you liked the therapy scene in any event though. Some of it was taken directly from my own therapy sessions (I had a therapist use the "We talk about a lot of things, but I don't know if we talk about the right things" line on me), so I'm not surprised it comes across as realistic, but I'm glad to hear it all the same!
10668070
You say you don't know what would help Shy, but I think you also kinda see it based on the rest of your comment. She needs to help herself. She needs to open up to the idea that she needs to change, and she needs to allow that change to happen. Everyone's doing their damnedest for her, and now she needs to step up and do her damnedest for herself too. Also...
*Screams this from the rooftops with a megaphone*
10668087
... Huh, yeah, you're right. I hadn't realized it, but you've really written Fluttershy into a self-fulfilling loop. She just wants people to leave her alone and let her work rather than change. Her last attempt to really make herself feel better was her makeover.
10668098
Yeah, the makeover was probably the last time she really did something to feel better about herself completely. To an extent the Coda project with Rainbow is kinda an attempt at that, but that's a bit different. Not as much something to make her happy as it is, like everything else, an attempt to keep busy. I hadn't even realized it had been that long, but yeah you're right.
Uh oh. Fluttershy's getting into CHIM.
10668335
CHIM? I'm unfamiliar with the term
10668366
Sorry. Elder Scrolls nerdery. Basically it means that Fluttershy has realized that the universe, herself included, is all a dream in some unknowable being's mind but chooses to continue to believe that she's real anyway while simultaneously accepting that she's not. And in doing so she's become a god.
I was prompted by the name Coda. Elder Scrolls has a super mind-trippy bit of lore called the C0da and it touches on this stuff.
10667713
oh i've done a lot of that through wwb, dont you worry, i think it just means whatever im reading is good or something
I really like the three different ways of talking to a friend about their mental health being shown through Pinkie, Rainbow and Flash. From talking too much with to much enthusiasm like Pinkie, to not knowing what to say so talking too little Flash. Then you've got the best character (Rainbow) being the best and finding the middle ground where Fluttershy is most comfortable.
I might be reading too much or not enough into this but...
Getting and then spreading an STI is a very serious matter, one which if no one else then Fluttershy herself should be very aware of and very concerned with (studying biology as she did).
I get that the bands are like family to her and that Fluttershy isn't too comfortable talking about sex. But if they are the reason she is receiving therapy
now then I would have thought that they would also have got her to be tested for STI.
If they think she is in a bad place now just imagine what she could be like if she thought that she was causing others to suffer by spreading an STI.
Maybe I'm making too big a point of this but I just want Fluttershy to go help save the day and everyone to be happy. You know after all the delicious drama of course.
Didn't expect Pinkie to try vegetarianism that's cool.
Aww. What a gererally great bit of advice. In allot of ways she is still the same Fluttershy she always was even through all that has happened.
How long is Coda going to be?
10668590
Ah, gotcha. I was just using the word in the musical sense (a coda is the ending bit of a song, also called an outro). Never been a fan of Elder Scrolls, just not my kinda game.
10668784
I didn't actually try to do the "three different ways to react to things" this time, although that's very often something I do. I think my thought process on them was just to show Rainbow as learning about mental health, and the easiest way to do that was to have her correct someone else's mistake.
The STI thing was brought up because it'll come back up later. And that sure is some good advice Fluttershy gave Pinkie, almost as if it's the type of advice she needs to be following herself
10669052
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/498002563237543967/808401351049478154/AN.png
Author's notes have relevant information, homie
Just noticed something in the end of the long description for this story:
But no matter what she does, it seems that the past never truly go away.
I think that should be 'the past never truly goes away.
Or maybe 'the past can never truly go away'.
10670275
Right you are, fixed now
Huh what a nice start,it's great shy is in therapy and getting help but if she sees it as just an obligation then she will never get better but only time will tell and it seems she's still thinking about the past, the what if and what could have been plus what she want is a question only she can answer
Nice to see rainbow and pinkie supporting her and it's nice too see flash and rainbow's relationship develop.
Great job looking forward to more and seeing what happens.
10671504
At least she does have a good support group, now if only she'd support herself by giving things like therapy a real shot...
Shy's definitely got a lot of thinking to do, and she seems to be avoiding actually doing it
Wow.. This is exactly what was needed after the chapter in Open Road. The other side of the argument. I sympathize with Shy so much here. Also, everyone needs a Gilda. Lastly, I wasn't expecting to see a callback to the hook up but my heart dropped the second I figured out where that scene was going and when I figured out that the scene with Sunset was coming up so overall, great job with the gut punches. Keep it up!
10679215
That's what I'm hoping. Seeing things from Shy's perspective might make readers realize how horrible it was for Sunset to just drop in unannounced. And yeah, I love Gilda in these fics, she's a favorite for sure.
10679237
Honestly I have no patience to explain why Sunset is wrong here, if you can't see it then fuck off at this point. I frankly don't care if you've enjoyed my other stories because, as you say, you never comment. Someone who only comments to shit on the characters is not someone I need reading my stories. I can't stop you from reading further, though I wish I could, but I can block you because I don't need your negativity in my life. Bye.
Edit since the original comment was deleted (not by me), this was in response to a comment that was wholly negative towards Fluttershy, showing a toxic attitude towards people with PTSD/depression. I don't mind when people respectfully disagree with my characters or how I write them, the issue was the way in which the commenter went about it, and the fact that their only comments have been entirely negative.
Even though I knew what exactly was going to happen it still hurt.
Honestly, as smart as Sunset is, she’s still so fucking stupid sometimes haha. Why did she think it was a good idea to show up to the after-show meeting with Twilight and pony Shy without as much as giving Shy a warning??? What did she think was going to happen??? Honestly, Shy was very much justified in her outburst here in my opinion because if it was me, it would have gone a lot worse. Holy fuck. Anyway, this is like the PERFECT addition to The Open Road because it gives you the other side of the coin. Like obviously, we see Sunset’s rationale for her unexpected drop in that story, and it almost makes sense. But it was still incredibly stupid of her LMAO. Ugh, poor Shy. I feel bad for her :(. But yes, yet another great addition, Kricks. Don’t let the haters get you down, you know I’d fight tooth and nail for you.
Seeing things from Sunset's perspective it almost made sense, but seeing it from Fluttershy's point of view... this was the ice skates scenario from Breaking the Ice all over again. Sunset is really good at well-intentioned fuck-ups.
10679283
I'm glad this companion to The Open Road is going over well with most readers at least.
Yeah, Sunset is often a well meaning dumbass
10679352
She does tend to take everything on by herself without so much at consulting other people. I didn't directly mean to make this similar to the ice skates but yeah you're right that it is pretty similar.
Oof. I feel you, Shy. That desire to just... lash out when you're hurt and vulnerable. And while Sunset probably didn't deserve all of that, she sure as hell made herself an easy target for it. Still don't get how she thought showing up out of the blue would do anything but what happened, but I suppose she doesn't know what we know of what Shy's been through since they split, and might have assumed (hoped?) that Shy's life had gotten back on track, just like her own has. Ironic that Sunset is the optimist nowadays.
Also, I really hope that those two will be able to have a friendly conversation at some point. Just, you know, not until they're both ready.
And yes, Gilda is right! This is definitely something you shouls talk about with your psych. Bouncing around these kinds of brain ghosts in your head isn't very healthy.
10679490
Yeah, she definitely went overboard on Sunset, but Sunset really did fuck up on this one. I think Sunset mostly heard good things from Applejack about Fluttershy, who wanted to paint her friend in a positive light, and that made her think things would go differently. To that end, Applejack probably doesn't know everything going on with Shy either...
All I'll say is that these two do meet again. How that conversation goes is another matter entirely... And a healthy outlook on therapy? In my story??? What is this witchcraft...
Well that was a interesting wrap up to the end of the open road ,not sure how to feel about but at least she knows now sunsets intentions were well meaning, really stupid of course, but well meaning and it was great Gilda could be there to help out.
Plus they're totally watching alien.
Can't wait to read more.
sunset REALLY seems to be good at the whole "i'm gonna resolve this lasting issue" thing /s
good chapter as always, love gilda's quip about smart people being morons... and just gilda in these in general, actually.
10679848
Hehe yes, Alien is one of my favorite movies and I enjoyed sneaking it in there
10679853
Gilda's a treat, I love her. My older brother was a hardcore punk guy, but he was also respectful and caring, and I think he's the biggest influence on Gilda.
I've said my piece on Sunset and The Open Road by now. What I will add, though, is that everyone deserves a Gilda in their life. Someone who's there to listen when you want them to, and also good for a friendly reminder to talk to your therapist, jesus fuck, 'Shy. Gilda was right on the money here: Sunset was a well-intentioned idiot. She didn't have any ill will, but I'm not sure why no one told her that was a stupid idea. Her wives don't know the full story, but AJ?
10679934
Shy and AJ will actually have a talk about that before too long. And yes, we all absolutely need a Gilda lol