Coda
⠀
⠀
Dear Sunny,
So much has happened since you left for Equestria. I guess I told you some of it when you stopped in. I’m sorry for how I acted to you. I know you were trying to make amends, and I should’ve acted better towards you. But it needs to be said, what you did hurt me. Showing up unannounced, with your wives, especially with the other Fluttershy. I’m happy you found a good relationship, really I am, but I wasn’t ready to see that without at least a little forewarning.
I’d like to say that if you had called ahead, I would have agreed to see you and things would have been better. I don’t know that for sure, though. Maybe I would have refused. But if anything is ever going to be okay between us, you have to learn to respect my choices that you don’t agree with.
My therapist is helping me realize I’m not actually very good at things happening unexpectedly to me. After Stormy Skies, and after losing Sky, I just can’t deal with surprises. And that’s not your fault, but I want you to know that’s part of why I acted the way I did.
What I told you about trying to kill myself was true, but it didn’t have anything to do with you. It was because of some other stuff. I had a girlfriend leave me without warning one day, and then Rainbow and the band wanted me to leave the tour to focus on my mental health. They meant well, but… like I said, I’m not good at surprises. It felt like I didn’t have a life anymore if I didn’t have the band.
I don’t mean to vent my problems to you of all people, though. I just wanted to explain to you that the blame I put on you was me being a petty bitch and trying to hurt you. I’m… not a good person anymore, Sunny. I’m trying to be a good person again, that’s why I’m writing this letter, but I have a ways to go before I can feel like a good person again.
You know what’s funny? I got my own apartment, and the whole time I kept thinking of you. And not anything about us getting a place together like we wanted to back in the day, but how you’d be able to make that whole process so much easier. You would just know what to do, what questions to ask. You’d take charge, and everything would be okay.
I think that was the first time I really missed you as a friend. I’ve missed you as a lover a lot, and some of that had more to do with me than with you. But that day, I remember just thinking that I wanted my friend back.
But I’m not ready yet. I’m sorry, I know you wanted to become friends again, and maybe someday we can. But I want to be in a better place before we do that. I hope you understand.
That’s why I decided to write this letter. I wanted you to know these things, but I can’t say them to you yet. I was just going to tell Applejack to tell you, but that felt wrong. I wanted you to hear it from me. I thought about writing to you in the journal, but I was afraid you’d write back before I could finish, and then I’d have to actually have a conversation with you.
I sounded like a bitch there, didn’t I? Sorry. But that’s something that you need to know. If we’re ever going to be friends again, and I’m not sure if I can ever get to the point where I’m ready for that, but if we are, I need this time to myself. I know you moved on, but I still haven’t. So please, don’t try to get back in touch with me. Don’t write back, don’t try to talk to me through Applejack, and for fuck’s sake don’t show up unannounced.
But things aren’t all bad. I’m spending a lot of time with my friend Lemon Zest. She’s the drummer of Bitchette, you met her a few times. We’re not dating, she’s not interested in that, but she stays the night sometimes and it’s nice. She’s helping me realize that what I liked about casual sex wasn’t the sex at all, it was just having someone to hold onto.
Everyone tells me to get a girlfriend, but I’m afraid. I’ve been burned too many times, it’s easier to just keep things casual and not get invested. But I met a girl on the night that you came and visited me, and I realized I hurt her without ever knowing it. I don’t think that was my fault, really. I was clear that we weren’t in a relationship, that we were just having fun. But then I learned I was the only one having fun, and it felt really bad.
So I don’t know. I’m still hooking up with people, but a little less often than before. I’m also being more upfront about what they can expect from me. I’ve finally grown up a little bit, I stay safe during sex now, and I make sure I don’t hurt anyone if I can help it. Maybe someday I’ll find a girlfriend, but for right now, I’m just kind of floating through life.
Let’s see… I’m not just a manager or producer anymore. I started a side project with Rainbow and we got Pinkie to drum on it. Rainbow and I both play whatever instruments we need to for it, and every song is a duet, though not like in a singing about each other kind of way. It’s actually all from my perspective, since I write all the lyrics, but sometimes it’s easier to let Rainbow be my voice.
The band’s called Coda, and I actually named the band after us. Well, not just us. Our first album is mostly about you, Sky, religion, sex, alcoholism, all that stuff that was going through my head. It was supposed to be my coda to all that. A line in the sand, the end of that part of my life, and I could be reborn as something new once that album was made.
It was therapeutic, but it was also kind of dumb of me. There isn’t a ‘part of my life’, life doesn’t have parts. It’s not a song on an album that I can just write a coda to and be done with it. All that stuff… it still matters to me a lot. Maybe it always will. My therapist is helping me see that we don’t get to choose when we’ve moved on past something.
Sorry, I’m rambling. Anyway, I guess that’s me. I’m in therapy now, I’m on a new medication that helps with the suicidal thoughts more, I have my own apartment, I have a car – oh, right, I didn’t mention that. I’m driving again. It took four years, but I finally got my driver’s license and a car of my own. I was a little afraid of it at first, but now it’s helping me feel better. Plus I have a dog now, so it’s been good for bringing her out to the dog park and the beach.
I can’t believe I went all these years without an animal. Everything feels so much better with Cherub around. She gets excited when I come home, and that’s exactly what I needed in my life.
I ask Applejack about you, you know. She tells me what’s going on with you all. I know that the news about the marriage didn’t go over too well, but I’m sure you’ll find some way to make that work. If anyone can, it’s you. That’s just what you do, Sunny. You make things okay.
Maybe someday I can do the same, and make things okay for us. I’m trying, Sunny. I’m trying, so just give me a little bit of time.
I really am happy for you. It didn’t seem like it at the concert, I know. But I am. I’m glad things are working out well for you, and I hope they continue to look up. Maybe I’ll write to you again after the next tour cycle. Maybe I’ll even be able to do more than write then.
Take care of yourself, Sunny.
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FUCK kricks. god fucking dammit. you dont get to play with my emotions like that ToT
but you do. hooray!
Anyway. This letter. Hooooo boy. This is what should get people back on Shy’s side, or at least, have them not hate her. This. THIS. She is growing! So much! Not only is she like... well y’know, writing a letter to Sunset, but she’s being open and honest about how she feels and the fact that she’s not ready to see her, or talk to her. That might sound mean, but it ain’t. She’s setting boundaries, which I think is fantastic! Hopefully, someday we’ll see these two reunite and maybe be able to be friends sometime, but wowie. This one is just... Yeesh I just... It’s so well written, so raw, and it definitely feels like a letter she’d write.
I don’t know what it is about the “Take care of yourself, Sunny” but I almost started scream sobbing like... Wow. It kinda hurts that Shy hasn’t moved on, meanwhile Sunset is all off being married and having a child haha. Kinda sucks, I know what it’s like to be moved on from. But yeah there’s something sp personal about this letter. Something so.... hurtful, in a positive way, if that makes sense. Idk, I don’t really have much to say that I haven’t said before but... What is it with you DESTROYING us with these mysterious epilogues? Sheesh.
Anyway sorry for the rather short comment (by my usual standards) but great great great job once again!
I wasn't sure if we would get to see Fluttershy's letter, but I'm glad we did. It really shows her growth. Apologizes for what she did, but still making sure Sunset knew she did wrong as well. I hope that they can be friends again one day. Sunset certainly would be willing to. But yeah, that's on Fluttershy to decide that she feels comfortable letting Sunset back into her life after all the ways she's hurt her.
My emotions are too torn up to have an intelligent comment, so instead:
Upvote if you grin every time Shy says "fuck".
Now, this is a splendid note to leave off on... at least, until the next installment stirs up all the drama again.
Well this says it all shy is definitely growing as a person but she's still a long way from well, although some if sounded like she was rambling but she needed I guess
Anyways excellent way to end and eager for the next story, just out of curiosity is sunset reading this letter or what.
Way too relatable.
The car as a visual representation of her freedom was a very powerful metaphor, especially considering that one of her earliest frustrations and restrictions upon her freedom and choice was when Sunset was unwilling to let her drive. I love how you planned for that to come full circle across multiple stories, keeping a consistent throughline. Great job!
this was nice. not much else i can say, articulation is hard. but it's nice.
Thanks for the nice Coda!
Replying to comments late again because of who I am as a person *dabs*
10712248 10714481
Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I do these things because I'm an evil bunny bitch lmao
10712258
I'm really glad to hear that I've managed to word associate phrases with specific things, that's pretty cool. The tattoo sleeve was based on this picture, but the significance behind it as a sign of her growth and acceptance of Sunset was of course my idea.
Glad you enjoyed the letter so much. It was super easy to write because there's no actions or scenes to describe lmao
lol yes, wonder what it would look like if you left a long comment on this chapter
10713620
I get to play with everyone's emotions. It's what I do
10712351
I think that's the best way to describe Shy's growth between TTW and Coda. TTW is Fluttershy reinventing herse;f, Coda is her starting to feel comfortable as herself. I'm really glad you enjoyed it
10713662
They'll see each other again, I'll say that much. The circumstances behind it and how that meeting goes, well, we'll just have to wait and see
10712450
I mentioned the tattoo a few comments up; it was based on someone else's picture, but the significance behind it here is my ideas. I'm glad everyone seems to like it. But what I really can't take credit for is the name Cherub, I asked on my Discord for suggestions and Buck came up with the name. I did like the idea of Shy choosing angelic names and how that tied into her faith, so I took him up on the suggestion. And I knew early on that if I was going to have Shy learn about Morning, the only way to end the story would be to mirror Empty Skies, with Fluttershy at the grave. In many ways, I feel like Coda is Fluttershy's Empty Skies, a short piece where she can finally begin to heal.
10714038
You know me, I'm a master of metaphors and I always intend every single one of them!
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f
Glad you liked it! Yeah, Shy's really starting down her path of recovery here
10714008
Sunset read the letter, yes. I considered giving a little ending scene of Sunset after she had read the letter, but I felt like that would detract from this being Fluttershy's story through and through. But yeah, Sunset definitely received and read the letter.
10712693
I'm glad you think so, this was a long hard road for her, but she's finally coming through to the other side
10712911
Glad you liked it. As for it being overdue,
I had to torture her for my amusementshe had to get to the point where she was ready to take this step10713022
I think you're right. She had to take back control of her life from herself. She's now in control, not her bad habits. As for seeing Sunset as a friend, it's a little complicated to call someone you haven't had a positive interaction with in many years a friend, I think, but she's definitely acknowledging that Sunset played a huge role in her life and that it wasn't all as bad as she's made it out to be.
10713743
lmao Fluttershy starting to swear is one of my favorite details in this series, right up there with Sunset being the only pony to say fuck.
10713803
More drama? From me? Why would you ever think that?
10714321
Glad you enjoyed it!
10717294
I know you gosh darn it
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5 year old AJ telling 6 year old Sunset it's pronounced "fuck", not "buck", was one of the sweetest moments of WWB.
I liked the story except for one point both the story and the comments seem to be forgetting. That as far as Sunset knew as far as Fluttershy ever told her the estrangement was Sunsets issue.
That it was Sunset that was having difficulty moving on and that Fluttershy had already started moving on at the point of ending the relationship. Sunset only knew Fluttershy had found a new romantic partner and had become a successful band manager. Sunset had been told that and only that and thought her not wanting to see Flyttershy due to her own issues was why they were still estranged.
Sunset wasnt an idiot or in the wrong for seeking out Fluttershy once she felt she was ready to face the past she had finally moved past. Finally catching up to Fluttershy as far as she knew. Sunset thought she was visiting the well adjusted party now that Sunset was emotionally able to try and be friends. Given what Sunset had been told and knew the whole friendship was waiting on her to be ready so visiting once she was makes sense and is normal correct and understandable.
Just like right now knowing all sides as readers Fluttershy showing up at Sweet Apple Acres when Sunset is there once shes ready would be normal and understandable because she is the actual messed up party. It is her choice when she is ready to try again. Well as far as Sunset knew that's exactly the situation she was in when she reached out.
10769425
All of which would have really been fine except Sunset herself even acknowledges that she knew Fluttershy might say no to their meeting, and that's why she didn't do the sensible and courteous thing and reach out. She says as much in The Open Road when talking to Rainbow. Knowing that Shy might refuse so going behind her back to make sure the meeting happened anyway would have been a shitty thing to do even if Shy was a well adjusted person.
Been a long time since I've read a story in this series, and I forgot how good they are. It's just so fascinating and...melancholy, seeing how these people change and have changed over the years. You've likely heard it before, but it's true: best long-running saga on this site. I almost don't want it to end, but I can't imagine reading about Shy and Sunset and Rainbow and Bitchette and everyone else bickering at each other when they're all in their 80s would be very exciting(well, it probably would, actually.)
10812489
There is a planned ending, but we're a long way off from it, so no need to worry about it ending soon. That said, we're almost at the end of Phase One, which is a jump off point for some readers. Phase Two will be a very different style of story, so I'm not positive people will resonate with it.
Anyway, glad to see you commenting on another fic, and really happy you enjoyed it!
I honestly didn't expect to have caught up this soon, and I can confidently say I've never read a series that's this consistently good – I mean it, there wasn't a single chapter in any story I didn't enjoy reading – and I kinda want to immediately go back and reread the entire thing. In a way, I'm sad I can't keep binging story after story, but I'll definitely be sure to keep up with what comes next!
11283977
This means a lot to hear! I'm so glad you felt this way about it
If you haven't looked into the side stories (and I do have to do check and make sure I linked them all correctly in the author's notes...) that might hold you over for a little while lol. You can see the whole reading order here. I'm slowly working on the next main story, but I'm bouncing between that and an original novel right now, so idk when either will come to be.
Also if you're interested, I do have a Discord server advertised on my user page, I frequently talk about my goings on with writing this series there
Actually for real forcing myself to take a break for a few days after this. The last story got me to tears and this one (both the last chapter and the epilogue) got me for the second time(s) in a row. You are victorious. You have broken me. I must yield. Don't worry, no tantrums below the cut this time lol
I absolutely adore this story and everything in it. I love seeing Fluttershy begin to grow, become stronger than her vices, and learn how to start letting go and move on. I know you've dealt with a lot of Shy hate comments, and I am just as perplexed by them as you are. When I read PH, Sunset was my favorite character, but Shy has taken that spot after TTW and this. She's not without her flaws, but she is such a strong strong character who's dealt such a shitty hand so many times, yet still manages to push herself onward.
I don't know where you plan to take their story from here, or if you plan to ever give them a proper meeting ever again, but the letter does a lot to soften the blow felt at the end of Open Road. If it ended there, I could be happy with it. Selfishly, I still want to see the scene where they meet up and make up and everything is sunshine and happiness for all, but this leaves everything off on such a hopeful note that I'm satisfied. Even if reading half the ending made me want to weep.
Lastly, I have to say I'm so glad I got into this when I did. If I had to wait for this story to come out after Open Road, my heart might have given out. The only other thing I can say is that I wish this was longer. This isn't a problem with the story, this is a Me problem. I just want more. It's a good problem to have with something like this.
I'm gonna say this every time: amazing work, and thank you for sharing this.
11371930
I'm glad you enjoyed Coda so much as well. It's a favorite of mine, but then, of course it is. I'm glad you like Shy so much, and whenever you read whatever is left for you to read (since you seem to be jumping around just a bit lol) I hope you'll enjoy what there is left of this series!
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I did do a lot of jumping today just because I was fixated on seeing Certain plot resolutions and I jumped in what direction they seemed to be in. But don't worry, I don't doubt I'll be giving this a second round in the right order soon after the first.
I'll gladly accept that, knowing that one day, they'll be friends once again.
Now there's something I've been doing myself, hoping to someday find a girlfriend as while being single is often hard, I've found my ways to not always be down in the dumps.
Indeed she does.
I was a bit hesitant for both this story and Thicker than waters endings to make me feel sad like playing house, but they both ended on positive notes making me feel happy. I'm glad I finally read them and I can't wait for the next installment of WWB coming out in the future.
Not sure if you'll ever come back to this series after all the grief, but if you do I'll be glad to read it. It's not perfect, but nothing is, and I don't regret reading it. Anyway, until you decide to put the caps on this saga, be well.
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I've very slowly started outlining the next story in this series, and writing another one. So I've got multiple things in the works. That said, I'm mostly focusing on original fiction these days is the real reason I haven't come back to this series. I'm glad you enjoy it for what it is, and that you would be ready to read more!
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Glad to hear you're still writing. If you want my opinion, a lot of the reason there was so much backlash with Fluttershy in this series was the dissonance between her and peoples' headcanon of 'Fluttershy'. It's a trap you can't fall into when creating characters from the ground up. I can understand why, after all the crap you had to put up with regarding her, that'd be one among many reasons to switch focus for a while. Beyond there being no real financial future and a built in but limited audience in pony. Closure's a worthwhile thing, but if you're writing something ostensibly for fun and all it's giving you is grief, it's obviously not a good thing to put much energy into.
Anything public facing on your other projects?
11640596
Not on any of my original projects. I have a Deltarune novel on AO3 if you're interested in that game and fics based on it. Who We Become was a learning experience, Tension Points (the Deltarune novel) was an exercise in putting those lessons to practice. I love WWB and what I've done with it, but it's a series saddled with so many problems because I was such a novice writer when I began it. And that's part of the great thing with it, my writing grows the more I do, but it's not a perfectly executed series, it has a lot of major flaws that have nothing in particular to do with the Shy drama.
For my original stuff, I have a novel in a planned trilogy outlined and a handful of chapters written. I'm very excited about it, just have to get to writing more often lmao. But I'm not publishing anything of it until I'm finished with the first book. Then I'll see about how to publish it, whether self publishing or trying my hand at traditional publishing, we'll see. I'm grateful for your interest in that though, and I'm feeling more motivated to write for a few reasons lately. Hopefully I'll make some progress!
I was already startling to like fluttershy again after thicker than water, after starting to understand the kind of character fluttershy is and all. But the moment lemon zest pulled out a little shark plush I literally dropped my phone and started crying, it was such a sudden reminder of sunset and fluttershy, And now I feel bad about ever disliking fluttershy.
I'm also finding out after reading other comments, a lot of people don't like fluttershy and it upsets you. I can't tell people who to like and who not to like obviously, but I hope they can come to like fluttershy.
Why do you have to be so good at making me cry over these stories
11662082
I'm glad you've come around to liking Shy. When people dislike her at the end of Playing House, I get it. When that dislike continues through Thicker Than Water, it's a little baffling to me. Anyone who manages to get all the way through Coda and still dislikes her, I can't understand at all...
Truthfully it used to upset me a lot more, because it felt like it was the only thing anyone talked about for a while. Which was unfair of me, but it's how it seemed when that was going on all the time.
Anyway, I'm happy you've enjoyed the story, and the series as a whole! I do hope to do much more with it, but there's very little left in this now...
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Im sure that whatever is left is going to be amazing, you are a really good author!
...I hope we get to see Sunset reading this.