- Member Since 12th Jun, 2012
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madhat886
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madhat886
Joined 12th Jun, 2012 ·
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I'm a little mixed on this. I get why some of the Main six would be turned to brained washed slaves. But why Fluttershy and rarity, Fluttershy the most, she could worked with them in the end.
Still a good start whew!!
nice work.
You really need an editor, hon.
10588801
No Offense, but is that the ONLY thing you say in every Fic in here? I do seen you in many stories in the comment section. And you only say 'nice work' to the authors and their stories.
It's not a bad thing. But, saying ONLY those two words in every story, for just all this years, tends to be weird, and a bit annoying to some people.
No hard feelings.
10591606
none taken just a man of few words
10591614
It's okay. Just want to know why.
Interesting premise. But, needs some work. Dark themes aside. It would benefit from slowing down a bit and stretching it out a bit, into multi chapters. As well as some editing. Like the first half is enough to start making a multi chapter story on its own as a prequel. But to have it shoved out all at once like that is a bit jarring. Also the sudden switch to violent rape, brainwashing and torture was out of now where. Maybe think about some warning tags in the description, as well as a bit more info in the description. Also have you read a story called Sunset’s herd. Cause your origin for sunset coming out of the mirror into a vault and having to survive on magical ingredients is right out of that. And that story is like 4-5 years old. Sorry if I sound mean.(I don’t intended to) I just wanted to give some critical feedback. Like I said. Great premise. Could be a kick ass series. But needs some polish.
And now after looking into your other stores I see you wrote Sunset’s herd...maybe
...Cause this doesn’t match previous writing style and I have seen accounts stolen and people pose as the original.......are you a spy.
.....I hope this was just a thing of boredom and not like stolen account. 
nice work
Bad
Still feel mixed with this. Because despite the Mane Six probably deserve it for screwing with Sunset and the Monster Girls. Fluttershy and Rarity didn't deserve that Unnecessary Rape and Torture.
Also, Sunset will be OP as F**k now!!!!!!! Considering that she will be a Super Hybrid from her "mother's" Alicorn Powers. And ALL the Powers and Might of the Monster Girl Queens, Lords, Leaders etc..
P.S. Where is Nightmare Moon/Luna in all of this.
Plus, DOES every Monster Girl have to be so VERY F**king Tall Amazons like the "Small" titans from Attack On Titan Series??!!
Over 8ft to 10Ft is fine. But OVER 15ft to even 26ft??!! WTF!!!!
While I DON'T mind the Huge Tits and Ass. I actually Love that. But being SUPER tall like a Giant?!
We ( Humanity) will just be mouse's by then.
And do they all have to be Futa ALL the time??!!
Like I said in my previous comment. Sunset will be OP as F**k from being a Super Hybrid from having EVERY SINGLE DNA of the Species Types from the Monster Girls, and their Queens, Lords, Mistress, Princesses, and other Leaders.
It's like having ALL the Pokemon, Bakugan, Digimon, and Yugioh Monsters become Friends/Allies, and decided to be fused into one single Being with EVERY SINGLE ELEMENTAL POWERS of everyone combined!!!!
They will be Super Duper OP, and that particular single being could take on the likes of Dragon Ball Characters, DC Comics and Marvel like Superman, his Cousins, and Family, and the Kryptonians. The Hulk, and the other Hulks. Even can face OP Villains like Darkseid, Thanos with the Infinity Stones/Gauntlet, and Galactus, at the same time!!!!!!
Anyway, the criticism with the chapter. Is the NONSTOP Raping?????!!!!!! I mean, we ( The Readers) are supposed to like, and be on the same side with Sunset, Nightmare Moon, and the rest of the Monster Girls. But, the Pure Raping Celestia and the Mane Six, ALL DAY is very concerning.
I mean, I DON'T like Rape. No one with a Sane Mind does. Although, despite that. I kinda agree that Celestia probably deserve that Deadly and "Sexual" Torture. I mean, she is a TERRIBLE Mother to Sunset, and Unjustly imprisoned the Monster Girls. Just because that the Monster Girls take the Stallions from the Mares.
I highly don't blame the Male Stallions for choosing the Monster Girls. I mean, the Monster Girls are bigger ( Even to unnecessary GIGANTIC Size like Over 20ft or something), got HUGE Boobs/Tits, Huge Asses, etc.. ( Sure, they are also Futa's for some insane reason. But, I like to have a Single Monster Girls going to town with the well hung Stallions that loves to have sex with the Monster Girls. WITHOUT breaking the poor stallions luckily.)
When that's the case. Celestia having imprisoned their Entire Species because of it. Sounds like that Celestia and the Mares are just F****** Jealous, and envied the Super Hot Monster Girls Giant Size and "Assets". That really DOESN'T help Celestia be depicted as the "Hero" in the story, IF her "reasoning" is due to being super jealous to the Monster Girls is Very Pathetic on her part.
So, technically. I might let Celestia's Punishment by getting Rape All Day from the Futa Monster Girls slide. I mean, the Monster Girls, and specifically Sunset and Nightmare Moon does want their "Justified" Revenge. Which I do agree with them somewhat, that Celestia definitely deserves it for her sins against everybody/everypony here.
But, what I DIDN'T like is for them to STILL Raping Poor Twilight and her Friends?! Seriously, I think that they FINALLY have enough with the rape for once!
They DIDN'T do anything wrong, or terrible like Celestia did. Okay, they did attack a Weak Sunset. But, that was a accident!
I loved everything, the premise and the violations ... although I felt confusing the part of the Mane Six, it would not be bad if you expanded more on that part. Otherwise, all good.
God, I love it, I don't know if I continue this, but please I want to see what happened to the mane six.
Continue?
will this continue somehow?
Will there be chapter 4?
I have a question, are the mane six still alive? what will happen to them?
Will chapter 4 come at some point?
Does this end like this? I would like to see how sunset returns and the fate of Celestia and the mane six
continue?
nice work
11330296
indeed
I would have liked to see more of the mane six being abused, I hope it is not the last of them.
As for Sunset now if she's a monster, I wonder what she'll do with Equestria.
I don't know who paid for a fourth chapter, but I'm glad this continues.
Nice chapter
when the chapter 5?
11339056
When I get to it, I have commissions to work on
Any chance this would continue 🤣
Did you also see my comments for this story?
⤵️
10714663
10774750
But mainly this;
10774826
11756954
Yes I have but the story is on the back burner as I have no real ideas to continue it
11757365
Did you ask the person that commissioned this any ideas?
11757374
I’m the one who came up with the idea
11757400
Oh, nevermind then.
11757800
All I can do at this point is write how the monster girls are going around raping the ponies
11758015
I hope it's only the ones that are truly deserving it and the guilty.
P.S. Did you read my comments talking about when will the Mane Six stop being unjustly getting raped by now!?
Because some of them didn't really deserve this, like Fluttershy and Rarity.
They DIDN'T do anything wrong, or made it too personal with the monster girls like Celestia did.
Sure, they did attack a Weak Sunset. But, accidentally! They're trying to stop Nightmare Moon for nearly dooming the world with Eternal Night with no Sun.
11758176
Yes but they are still hentai monsters and what do you think hentai monsters do?
11758259
Okay sure, but I still think they might have a little bit of morals.
Or don't want Celestia to being in the "right" in the end, about them all truly being monsters.